benkimurabennett-blog

[benkimurabennett-blog]

It was strange, how Ben almost didn’t feel Clover’s thumb stroking his own, like it was an impossible action --- as if it weren’t happening at all. He supposed that was their marriage in a nutshell: nonexistent though completely palpable, something that would hold up in court as evidence (why yes, she is shown stroking my thumb, Your Honor, but I simply don’t recall) but would slip your mind if anyone brought it up in a casual conversation where it’s hardly relevant. It’s real if you’re looking for it --- dead if you’re not.

He grimaced at her offer of a drink and shook his head, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He wasn’t in the mood for a drink. He wasn’t really in the mood to be here, pretending everything was fine, when the truth was that what they were saying to each other now were the most words they’d exchanged for days. “I’m okay,” he said quietly, holding onto her hand out of --- commitment, instinct, obligation. Take a pick. “I’ll have one later.” He sighed and looked back at the children, swallowed down whatever comment he was about to make next, then glanced over at the stage set up. “Who do you think is playing?” he asked, because this is what he’d been reduced to --- small talk with his wife. 

He knew very little about her nowadays. The same, he was sure, could be said for her about him.

Ben’s expression whenever he saw children was one of the main reasons Clover tried to avoid him lately. The look of longing and heartbreak in his normally sparkling eyes was too much for her to handle and now, as always, she had to turn away, crossing her arms and pretending it was because she was cold. She tried to look happy about the colours and the music and the laughter around her, but she was never a very good actress.

She knew, however, that she had to keep up the facade for the general public. When she and Ben had gotten married everyone - including and especially their own families - had told them it would never last. They’d been adamant to prove everyone wrong, and that same stubbornness was what prompted Clover to take Ben’s hand and smile at him like he was still the same bright eyed boy she’d married. A closer look would have given away the sadness in her smile, but no one but Ben was close enough to see.

“Somewhere along the way, we all lose our optimism…” she said, absent-mindedly rubbing her thumb along his, like she used to do. “Do you want a drink?”

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Ben eyed the children for a moment longer, nodding along with Alexandria’s words in assent, before glancing back at her with a happy smile. “You’re right, of course,” he agreed. “And it’s better they don’t get caught up in the whys. They have their whole lives to worry,” he sighed. “They don’t need to start now.”

He then promptly shook his head, holding his hand out politely. “Of course I remember you, Miss Walker,” he assured her. For all that he was a distracted (and extremely disorganized) man, Ben remembered and held a special place in his heart for every single child that became his student. If only he were as good at remembering his reasons for being married as he was their names and hobbies, he’d be having much better luck in love, he was sure.

“Ryder was always one of my favorites,” he said, as though he didn’t say that to all the parents. To be fair, he truly meant it this time. “Quiet when she was supposed to, but friendly and cheerful,” he grinned crookedly. “I hope for more like her every year, honestly. It’s always nice when an eight year old doesn’t pout at you when you ask them to be quiet.”

Alexandria had let Ryder loose with a group of her friends and promptly lost them, but she wasn’t really worried. They’d find her when they needed something and until then, she could take on the task of socializing. She had been hovering near the bounce house, looking for the familiar face of another parent who she might recognize among the ocean of children, when someone spoke.

Sydheim Elementary wasn’t that large of a school and Alexandria was, she liked to think, a fairly involved parent (as long as field trips didn’t happen to coincide with rehearsal) and so she recognized Ryder’s old teacher, Mr. Bennett.

She shrugged at the words, thinking about how little Ryder had understood about the fire. It was devastating, but they were fine. She had kept repeating that, like a mantra, whenever Alexandria talked about having to find somewhere else for the theatre. “But we’re fine, Mommy. I mean, we’re fine.”

“I think that it just makes much more sense to them,” she said and smiled slightly, trying to show that she didn’t really know what she was talking about. “For them, it’s just before the fire and then after the fire. They don’t get all caught up in the whys. It’s lucky, sure, but it’s also a nice way to see life. They lost things too but they understand how to move on. I’m Alexandria, I bet you don’t remember me. You had my daughter, Ryder, in your class two years ago.”

[benkimurabennett-blog]

Benjamin KIMURA-BENNETT  • 25 YEARS OLD  • MALE

+ Personable, patient, kind, & sympathetic

- Impulsive, absent-minded, disorganized & unforthcoming

The History

Benjamin Bennett was born to parents who love to alliterate. Benjamin Bennett Sr. and Bethany Bennett nee Bondoc were always happy people: free spirits, one might call them, content to live their normal lives in their normal neighborhood in their normal home. They had Benjamin, then they had Beatrice, then they had Bailey, then they adopted a dog named Bruce and tied their very normal, very happy family together. They were always lenient on their children: they let all three of them pursue what made them happiest from a very young age and encouraged them to try new and exciting things whenever they saw the opportunity to. In short, Ben never had a reason to be unhappy, never had any limitations in life (at least, not creatively — financially, however, may be a different story) and was always grateful to be of the very-normal-very-happy-Bennetts, who had spent four generations living in Ashmore.

Time, perhaps, is the greatest enemy to happy people — in the years that followed the adoption of Bruce Bennett (legally named this through the animal shelter, thank you very much), the very-normal-very-happy-Bennetts seemed to hit a slump in their normalcy and happiness: Benjamin Sr. and Bethany’s marriage began to fall apart in these years, causing their children to cope with their parents’ incessant (though admittedly quiet) arguing in their own way: Beatrice rebelled, Bailey refused to speak at all, and Ben — well, Ben dealt with it far more maturely than any of the children. Not for lack of trying, of course. It was simply a lucky coincidence that during this difficult time for his parents, he would meet the beautiful and adventurous Clover Kimura, who would unknowingly help him through this difficult time with bubbling laughter and a promising friendship. Maybe the fact that the first time they properly met they blew something up was an indicator for how the rest of their budding relationship would pan out, but at the time, Ben knew nothing more than a pretty girl with a darling laugh and a new friend.

And so his friendship with Clover got him through the toughest of times at home: and somewhere during this friendship, he found passion and talent in art, expressed himself through sketches at first then slowly graduated to bigger and louder paintings, saw himself hung in museums and mentioned in art history lessons: sought to make a difference with his paintings, maybe teach a little something to the world, maybe help others going through a tough time as well. He believed that if his art could help him express his anger and sadness, then it could help others relieve them, as well. He’d seen the best of times, he’d seen the worst of times. Etcetera, etcetera. Listen, at this point Ben truly believed himself to be the deepest, most creative artist in the world. And though, in truth, his passion did get him through his parents’ constant arguments and eventual resolution (he’d thought they’d end in divorce, but he supposed their love for each other was stronger than their dislike for each other), it was maybe his friendship with Clover that kept him sane and grounded through it the most.

Eventually, with Ben and Clover’s personalities being so similar yet so different simultaneously, their friendship turned into love, and Ben saw everything with Clover: marriage, a house, a couple of kids; everything his parents had taught him was normal. He proposed to her a day after her birthday on a most romantic night, and he still considers the moment she yelled “yes” to be the happiest moment in his entire life. They were going to start a life together: they were going to make a family, Ben was sure of it, they were going to grow old together and be forever in love and very happy and very normal.

Their parents, however, were not as keen to the idea. The Bennetts insisted Ben and Clover were far too young to be married, far too immature to understand the importance of such a great commitment, and Clover’s parents wanted absolutely nothing to do with Ben whatsoever. Eventually, Benjamin set the record straight: his parents would either accept the fact that he was to marry Clover straight out of high school, or they were to cut him out of their lives completely. Never in his life did he expect for his very-normal-very-happy parents to pick the latter option, but the moment they did, Ben saw his own very-normal-very-happy future falling apart around him. They told him this was the only way he’d come to his senses: and that they would always be there for him once this didn’t work out. With a broken heart and an empty pocket, Ben left his parents’ house and attended university in New York City under the help of scholarships and financial aid, taking Clover with him and having her live with him in ratty dorm rooms with several roommates who would eventually become life-long friends.

After finding a way to elope in Vegas with Clover and earning a degree in education, Ben moved back to Ashmore with his wife, with his head held high and avoiding his parents like the plague, though he continued to keep in touch with his two younger sisters, who never had the hearts to cut him out of their lives. Though the future, at this point, seemed promising and bright, after seven long years of marriage and nights of little to no communication and petty arguments, Ben is starting to believe his parents were right: they rushed into this marriage without realizing exactly what kind of commitment they were getting into, rushed into this marriage without knowing the strain it could put on their relationship, and now, with Ben working at Sydheim Elementary School as a second grade teacher and Clover spending all her time working as a real estate agent, Ben is beginning to wonder whether maybe the love they have for each other is strong enough to survive yet another year of marriage.

The verdict’s yet to come back, but at the moment, it’s looking like it’s coming back a no.

The Fire

Maybe it was morbidly fitting, to lose their house in Abrams Heights to the fire — everything they’d been building there for the past three or so years burnt down with it, along with whatever idea of normalcy and happiness Ben might have imagined for Clover and himself at the beginning of their marriage. Though it hurt to lose everything, Ben tried to take comfort in the fact that he had Clover still with him, a solid presence beside him in a moment of tragedy, her hand tight in his. A long time ago, perhaps, still having each other after a terrible tragedy would have been enough to keep them going; now, however, with their marriage falling apart as horrendously as their house did, the idea of starting over with just each other filled Ben with nothing but dread.

Through The Ashes

Ben and Clover moved to The Square, as most others affected by the fire did, and though Clover seems to be much happier in this atmosphere, Ben misses the simplicity of their neighborhood in Abrams Heights. He misses the quiet, he misses the glimpse of the stars he used to get at night, he misses the stability and spaciousness of a home rather than the clumped apartment they’ve managed to relocate to now, and though he’s started teaching in after-school programs for children of families affected by the fire, this only further hinders his attempts at finding a balance between his work life and his home life.

The role of Benjamin Kimura-Bennett is portrayed by Ben Barnes and is played by Cacee/20/CST.

[benkimurabennett-blog]

It’s freezing.

Ben supposes he’s used to it, what with being a born and bred Canadian, but it still doesn’t mean that he enjoys the cold. The snow, perhaps, when it’s less annoying and more ebullient in nature, but either way, it’s freezing and he’s only slightly regretting coming out to this party.

He did it for Clover. Most of what he does is for her, even nowadays.

At least they’re inside.

Still, he supposes that the sight of the children on the bouncy castle and playing ridiculous make-believe games isn’t a sore one. Ben even smiles slightly at it, because some of those kids are in his class, and several of them have already come up to say hi. Traitorously, his heart squeezes and reminds him of how much he’d like to be a father one day, then it breaks evenly down the middle like always when he’s also reminded of how unlikely that’ll be now. 

He looks over at the person next to him, offers a happy smile anyway. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he asks them, glancing back at the children. “How they can jump back so quickly after such a tragedy.” He pauses. “Everything’s so much easier when you’re a child.” He huffs, his breath visible in the air. “There’s less to worry about.”

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[benkimurabennett-blog]

“Actually what I’d like is to have a reputation as someone who’s been wild and gone straight, but without having to go through the trouble of being bad.“