bernasaurus

[bernasaurus]

[bernasaurus]

HEY EVERYONE.

It would be a SHAME if people flooded

DEIAtruth@opm.gov

with false reports of DEI related job posting/description changes. Please dont WASE THE GOVERNMENTS TIME and do exactly this

[bernasaurus]

[bernasaurus]

[bernasaurus]

[bernasaurus]

The SKZ House (18+ fanfic)

Posting this for anyone specifically wanting to reblog this fic vs my Masterlist.

Summary: After a bad breakup with your ex, you need a place to live for the remainder of the school year. You see the Sigma Kappa Zeta (SKZ) fraternity ad for an "In-House Stay"; you decide to you apply and are accepted. Your duties? Cooking...cleaning...oh, and pleasing your assigned members: Hwang Hyunjin and Bang Chan.

Series Word Count: 153,021

Warnings: Oral (both m and f receiving), spanking, solo play with an onlooker, threesome, handcuffs, light dom/sub undertones, public sex, choking, orgasm denial, and angst...lots of angst.

Chapter One: Of Breakups & New Housing

Chapter Two: Of Ex's & Tesla's

Chapter Three: Of Blowjobs & Birthdays

Chapter Four: Of Pineapples & Punishment

Chapter Five: Of Mirrors & Lessons

Chapter Six: Of Joy Rides & Hot Tubs

Chapter Seven: Of Watching & Submitting

Chapter Eight: Of Drive-Ins & Wishes

Chapter Nine: Of Halloween & Hallways

Chapter Ten: Of Yin & Yang

Chapter Eleven: Of Triple N's & Multiple O's

Chapter Twelve: Of Delays & Professor Bang

Chapter Thirteen: Of Girl Talk & Berry

Chapter Fourteen: Of Surprises & Closets

Chapter Fifteen: Of Showers & Cabins

Chapter Sixteen: Of Chan & Cuffs

Chapter Seventeen: Of Futures & Flights

Chapter Eighteen: Of Beaches & Balconies

Chapter Nineteen: Of Chokers & Christmas

Chapter Twenty: Of Father's & Basements

Chapter Twenty-One: Of Rotations & Doors

Chapter Twenty-Two: Of Seungmin & Karaoke

Chapter Twenty-Three: Of You (Chan POV)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Of Changbin & Roses

Chapter Twenty-Five: Of Popcorn & Reuniting

Chapter Twenty-Six: Of Talks & Relapsing

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Of Insomnia & Revelations

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Of Notices & Benches

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Of Storms (Chan POV)

Chapter Thirty: Of Rainy Days & Goodbyes

Chapter Thirty-One: Of Vets & Contracts

Chapter Thirty-Two: Of Epilogues

FOR REFERENCE:

SKZ House Photo Book

The SKZ House Bonus Fic

Summary: For the life of you, you can't get Changbin and Seungmin to stop arguing for long...unless they're fucking you at the same time.

Word Count: 3020

Warnings: Threesome, squirting, double penetration, anal sex, deep throating, tit fucking.

One-Shot: Changbin x Y/N x Seungmin

[bernasaurus]

ohshc is the funniest found family of all time because it's really a bunch of wealthy teens + one non-wealthy teen running a host club out of their school's music room for the following reasons:

a hopeless romantic who really does want to make the girls who come to the club happy, but is also completely fucking oblivious to his own romantic feelings

a guy who is literally only in it for the money and the networking

a set of twins who are in it for the lolz (and to find someone who appreciates them as individuals)

a former karate champion who's there because he gets free cake

a guy who never talks and is only here to hang out with the karate champion

a girl who's there because of indentured servitude and everyone likes her in a way that makes them queer.

oh and also there's a random girl who does not go to their school but declared herself their manager and lives under the floorboards

and their nextdoor neighbor is an occultist who's allergic to the sun and carries a cat puppet

KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

[bernasaurus]

Whoever says that the passenger gets to pick the music is just wrong. The driver picks the music and the passenger shuts the fuck up and presses play or they walk <3

[bernasaurus]

Sleeper agent activated

Being formerly obsessed with Supernatural is so funny like sometimes I'll remember obscure details/my takes when given the stimuli like a sleeper agent who's been activated.

Other times it takes me a minute to remember what the freaking anti-demon tattoos looked like and it's like "YOU USED TO KNOW THIS! THIS IS BASIC INFORMATION, GIRLIE!"

[bernasaurus]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[bernasaurus]

Please bless me Potato

[bernasaurus]

stray kids pride ᯓ★

[bernasaurus]

Spell Jar of the Week

• Health & Wellness •

Health and wellness spell jars promote physical, emotional, and spiritual health. You can choose to focus on just one intention, all three mentioned, or more!

Step One - Grab your ingredients!

• Jar, bottle, any container that calls to you that you can “seal”

• Herbs! There are many herbs, flowers, and plants associated with health and wellness. My personal favorites are: chamomile, cinnamon, clove, lavender, and rosemary. Here are some others that are just as amazing:

Allspice

Fennel

Ginseng

Mint

Mugwort

Rose

Thyme

• Oil! I like to add a drop of oil either into my bottle, or onto the bottom of the cork before I seal. This is an optional step, but can add another element of magic to your spell jar. My favorite oils for good health are: bergamot, lavender, eucalyptus, and sandalwood.

• A candle! I like to seal my spell jars with wax, it gives you an opportunity to visualize your intention while adding another layer of magic. For health and wellness spells I almost always use blue or green candles, but if those aren’t available white can always be used as a substitute.

Step Two - Create your spell jar!

• Start to fill your jar/bottle with each herb. The amount of each is up to you! As you put each herb in, think of it’s magical properties. Imagine each intention, one on top of the other.

• Once your jar is full, grab your oil. You can add a drop or two in the jar, or you can anoint the bottom of the cork or lid.

• Now, grab your candle! Light it, close your eyes, and breathe. Focus your energy, then open your eyes and begin to seal your jar. Please be careful during this step, if you’re worried about getting wax on your fingers, place the jar down while sealing (just know that you will most likely make a little mess!)

• Once your wax is dry, you’re done! Hold your jar, visualize the magic inside, feel its power in your hands. So mote it be ✨

[bernasaurus]

Spell Jar Sunday

• Good Luck •

By creating a good luck spell jar, not only are you gaining a good luck charm, you are also ensuring its power by designing it specifically for you and infusing it with your own intentions and magic.

Step One - Grab your ingredients!

• Jar, bottle, any container that calls to you that you can “seal”

• Herbs! There are many herbs, flowers, and plants associated with good luck. My personal favorites are: basil, chamomile, cinnamon, and ginger. Here are some others that are just as amazing:

Allspice

Daffodil

Nutmeg

Rose

Star Anise

• Oil! I like to add a drop of oil either into my bottle, or onto the bottom of the cork before I seal. This is an optional step, but can add another element of magic to your spell jar. My favorite oils for good luck are: bergamot, cinnamon, cyprus, and lotus.

• A candle! I like to seal my spell jars with wax, it gives you an opportunity to visualize your intention while adding another layer of magic. For good luck spells I almost always use orange or green candles, but if those aren’t available white can always be used as a substitute.

Step Two - Create your spell jar!

• Start to fill your jar/bottle with each herb. The amount of each is up to you! As you put each herb in, think of it’s magical properties. Imagine each intention, one on top of the other.

• Once your jar is full, grab your oil. You can add a drop or two in the jar, or you can anoint the bottom of the cork or lid.

• Now, grab your candle! Light it, close your eyes, and breathe. Focus your energy, then open your eyes and begin to seal your jar. Please be careful during this step, if you’re worried about getting wax on your fingers, place the jar down while sealing (just know that you will most likely make a little mess!)

• Once your wax is dry, you’re done! Hold your jar, visualize the magic inside, feel its power in your hands. So mote it be ✨

[bernasaurus]

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

[bernasaurus]

I was today years old when I learned that SUBTEXT and BUTTS*X have the same letters which now leads me to a new Supernatural head cannon.

In the episode Fan Fiction "you can't spell subtext without s-e-x" there HAD to have been a behind the scenes joke about "you can't spell subtext without butts*x"

[bernasaurus]

Dean and Cas are celebrating their first wedding anniversary with their family. Cas decided to cook as a gift to his husband, but Dean’s not convinced of his cooking abilities...

- a sequel to this post • Happy anniversary Dean & Cas 💖🎉