berryandafter - Tumblr blog

[berryandafter]

Okay, okay. I can try to do that. 

I do say so. Learn to trust yourself a bit more, Rachel. Stop letting people make you feel inferior — you’re not. You’re a brighter star than every single person in that town and you know it. While you’re here, you don’t have to dim that light to let others shine.

[berryandafter]

If you say so.

You’re right. I did change, Rachel. I learned that my relationship with Finn wasn’t everything, that maybe right now, I don’t need to have a romantic interest. I learned that sometimes, you have to allow others to shine to get your chance at the spotlight. I learned that you don’t need fairweather friends, and that is exactly why I hold people at arms’ length. But I didn’t change for people to like me, Rachel. I changed because I grew up, I experienced more in the last two years than I thought I would when I moved to New York. Pay no attention to Santana — she’ll be the best friend in the world and also your biggest enemy. 

[berryandafter]

But when the amount of people that dislike you highly outweigh the people that tolerate you there's obviously something wrong. I'm sorry, you know this. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm sure it'll be fine but obviously something changed in us to make them grow to like you, and I'm still the same person they loathed in high school. Plus, I'm not sure how comfortable around them I'll feel considering but it's not as if I have a choice in the matter, I guess. 

Rachel, I know that you’ve — we’ve — had a questionable past with both Kurt and Santana, and I know what you’re feeling. I felt it too. The sinking feeling of people judging you, hating you for things that you can’t change. But if they hate you, they hate me. And if they hate us… we don’t need friends like that. You and I have wasted too much time trying to please those around us and for what? Conformity? When did that ever help us before? You don’t need people that don’t accept you, Rachel. 

[berryandafter]

Is it weird that I'm worried about them hating me?

It would probably be best if you were in the room while we talk about this. I’m not quite sure how I can explain this seeing as we don’t know what’s going on ourselves but… they deserve to know as much of the truth as we know. I’m nervous too, Rach. They’re my best friends and… I don’t know how they’ll react.

[berryandafter]

It's just insane to think about how this is going to go. I should definitely be in the room so that they don't think you're certifiable but I also don't think I should be there without you informing them a little bit about what's going on so that they're not just hit with this whole thing. I may be over thinking this a little bit but.. I'm incredibly nervous for some reason.

I don’t know exactly. I think the best thing we can do is tell them the complete truth and hope that they understand, or can at least attempt to understand this crazy situation. I mean, they can’t say that it isn’t true given the fact that you’re here and very much real.

[berryandafter]

I guess. How do you explain a situation like this to someone though?

They may freak out but we can’t hide this anymore. Kurt and Santana are going to have to accept that this is simply the way things are right now and there’s nothing we can do to change this situation.

[berryandafter]

I don't know how well that's going to go. They're going to freak out, you know that right?

I knew this day would come and as much as I wished to avoid it, this confrontation has become inevitable. We have to tell Kurt and Santana, Rachel.

[berryandafter]

I'm just trying to make sure that you're not putting yourself in a bad situation. It's all kind of incredible. I still don't really believe this is real, honestly.

Nothing will go wrong, Rachel. Did I always question things as much as you do? Just stop worrying for a few minutes, okay? Everything is going to be fine, and tonight you’re going to see that all the hard work and torment is finally going to pay off. You’re — we’re — playing our dream role. In a few years, you’ll be right here.

[berryandafter]

Okay, okay. Fine. If you really think that nothing will go wrong, I'll stop questioning you.

I think we’ll be arriving early enough that the majority of the cast and crew will still be enjoying their morning off. Will you please stop reminding me that we’re the same person? Yes, we’re the same but thanks to the make-over… we don’t exactly look the same anymore.

[berryandafter]

You know I'm grateful I just worry about the consequences for you. This is all very sweet. Cousin? Rachel, we are literally the same person. I don't know how well that would work.

The very least you could do is say thank you instead of constantly questioning me, Rachel. I’m willing to take the risk because I think it’ll be beneficial for you to see what you’re working for, to see that all of the hard work is going to pay off. If anyone sees us together, you’re simply my cousin from Lima, Ohio that’s visiting me for the weekend.

[berryandafter]

I can't believe you're doing this. Aren't you going to get in trouble? This is crazy. How are you going to explain it to anyone that sees us together? 

[berryandafter]

I think that all sounds like a wonderful idea.

Perhaps this is all just a freak accident of nature and everything will work itself out accordingly. I’m not sure how Kurt would react to the truth, and Santana thinks that one of me is bad enough. However, I don’t think we have another feasible option. We’ll go upstairs and tell them that by some twist of fate, you’re here and you’re going to be staying with us for a while. Tomorrow, you can explore the city while I go to work — or you could come see the show. I think we could pass for siblings, don’t you?

[berryandafter]

Maybe it will just fix itself. I'm not sure. I'm not exactly aching to go back just yet anyways. I don't know either.. Maybe just tell them the truth? It's not as if they could think you're crazy or anything as I am actually here which I'm sure would be proof enough for anyone.

I don’t believe we can judge what’s illogical and what isn’t anymore, given that you’re my younger self. I don’t know how we’re going to fix this, Rachel, or how I’m going to explain this to Kurt and Santana.

[berryandafter]

I was about to say that that's illogical, but considering I'm standing in front of myself I think I can accept that.

When you arrived, I’d just been thinking about being able to go back and tell myself what I know now, maybe what it would be like if I was able to give that girl some advice based on my experiences. What if this happened because we wished for it at the same time?

[berryandafter]

That's a little more than surprising. Yeah, I did. I was sitting in my room doing homework and kind of daydreaming about it and then I was here. Why? 

I promise that you won’t always be her least favorite person. You’ll actually grow to be someone very special to her, and she to you. Now, I know you aren’t going to believe that so I’m not going to push, but know that that’s true. You mean you wished to see your future? Tonight?

[berryandafter]

Well, I'm kind of her least favorite person so I don't see how that could be happening any time soon. Really? I was kind of wishing I could see if I actually make it. 

You become friends with Quinn Fabray. I believe the term we used is “kind of friends,” but friends nonetheless. You will learn that she’s just as broken as you are, and while I won’t tell you when you’ll learn that, I believe you’ll learn that soon. I know. I never thought that I would see you, let alone get the chance to speak with you. I merely wished for the chance to tell my younger self what I know now, and here you are.

[berryandafter]

I become friends with Quinn Fabray? As in, queen bee Quinn Fabray? That's impossible. But, I guess you're right. It's easier said than done, though. This is just so much to process I'm not really sure of what to say.

I grew up, Rachel. I learned that there were more important things than what my peers thought of me. Of course, it helped that Quinn finally learned that the only thing I’d ever wanted in high school was to be her friend, which then lead to a friendship. If I’m going to be honest, she helped a lot. The truth is, you can’t make people like you. If you spend your entire life trying to make people like you, you’re going to be miserable. Do you think Barbra was upset if people didn’t like her? No. She told everyone that they could say whatever they wanted about her, as long as they spelt her name wrong. As for wanting to hear it from someone other than me, suit yourself. But that isn’t going to stop me from telling you what you need to hear. Now come on, let’s get you inside.