betterleightthennever - Tumblr blog

[betterleightthennever]

burnt sienna

my stomach muscles ache from think about you last night

an open window and an unmade bed

i watched you in the night sky

in the leaves of oak trees, i saw you

in the gradient heavens and constellations burning

i breathed you, heard you in the passing cars

the light metronomic rain tapping the downspouts

once white had rusted over

burnt sienna like the stars

i loved you in the fog

rolling through the screen of my window

rain fluttering through onto my bed

but the sheets were already wet and i didn’t want to close the curtains

i would have to say goodbye to you

i slid my hands down the window sill

feeling the cornsilk paint chip off with my fingers touch

i sat with my back to the open window

facing my closet doors

i let the rain in

it soaked my neck

i felt you

i felt you in the warm rain

i felt you saturating the collar of my shirt

i felt you in the thunder

i felt you in the humidity

but that was then

this is now

6 in the morning, my window still open with the same darkness filling the sky

it smells of last night, it takes me back

to when i felt you in the thunder

[betterleightthennever]

wichita springs

i used to believe that the only time i could ever possibly be happy was with leaves on the ground

birds in puddles and rocks kicked through the parking lot of marion baptist church by middle and high schoolers alike

i grew out of that when i turned 18

a summer of consolation prizes

empty promises and empty bottles

a spirit more broken than i’d ever known

a 290 mile drive to the 312

wichita springs and mangonadas followed by peach slushees

peach rings in the back of my aunts car going 70 on the 174 over sengelwood and creighton

springfield valley center floodway stagnated underneath

festivals on the missouri and kona ice wathcing the sunset

elote after dawn in humming fruterias

valentina on microwaved popcorn at 4 am after being left home alone with my cousins

legend and love, drake and kendrick

lana in wired earbuds staring out windows into the storm

kicking rocks in the parking lot of brimsworth christian academy

between bike racks and leaves twirled into a tornado amidst the june humidity

the ymca where i played basketball in a gym with people i didn’t know who lived hundreds of miles away from me

burger king orange juice and toast at 11 when we woke up

light filtered through a curtain shattering across an illinois bedroom where i awoke to the sound of the ps4

the pedestrian streets of los santos fused with an introductory monologue occupying my ears the second i wake up

jordan slides and a 15 minute drive to eastborough

von maur at the crystal lake mall where my cousins ex girlfriends mom worked

3 phones hidden under a mattress

2 shattered

gathering my things as night approached

a 290 mile drive back to the 417