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[betweenthelinesseattle-blog]

Sarah Wheeler is a queer woman who works as a therapeutic childcare specialist and a graduate of Pacific Lutheran University. She was raised in the small-town of Marysville about an hour north of Seattle. She moved away from home to attend college and then stayed in the Seattle area afterwards in order to be involved with the queer community feel that the Seattle area offers. She was raised within a religious household in a conservative town and felt it was against the grain to come out while living at home. After moving to the Seattle area she came out in college as queer after having looked for an accepting community. Since moving away from home she has felt the watchful eye of religion slowly disappear and instead been accepted by majority of the people she’s come into conversation about it with. She was also able to experience meeting people within the Christian faith that are accepting of queer people; something she feared would never happen. She feared that going into a profession involving young kids would eliminate the opportunity to be out to her coworkers but as she’s progressed in the field, she’s found that that isn’t the case. Her current company is recognized as leader in the country for supporting and serving LGBTQ families and she has even found that multiple coworkers identify as queer as well. Moving to the greater Seattle area has allowed her to be more confident in expressing her queerness and has given her more faith in the people around her and even within religious communities. Her favorite aspect of this experience is the fact that she can walk around holding her girlfriend’s hand comfortably and safely; something that she wouldn’t get to do in her hometown.

(Probably need a transition into the interview: such as, “I sat down with Sarah W. to talk all about these experiences”

Sam M: So in our class we’re talking about race, class, sexuality, and gender. Which of these would you think would be best to center our interview around today?

Sarah W: Sexuality would make the most sense because I identify as a queer woman.

Sam M: So how do you think your identity has shaped your experiences growing up and how did that bring you to Seattle?

Sarah W: I would say it kind of goes both ways for me because due to my family situation I didn’t necessarily accept and embrace my queer identity until I moved out of my family’s house. It was hard for me to be myself around my family so I didn’t even realize being queer was an option. I identified boys who I felt like I should be attracted to and focused on them but still found myself gravitating towards more intense relationships with girls. I sought out specifically Christian schools for college to try to live up to my family’s idea of how I should act. Even though I did end up at a Christian school, I still got out of my small hometown for college and embraced the progressive city vibe where I could find myself instead of worrying about my family.

Sam M: Was it hard growing up in a religious household while closeted?

Sarah W: My family never really went to church from the time I was around 6 years old but  I was very aware that my parents had Christian ideals. My parents met in bible college and were virgins until marriage – at least my mom was – and it was always expected that my sister and I would be too. My mom especially always had high moral standards and right around the time I had my first real queer experience my sister had begun to go to church with some friends. I found my sister to be the hardest to be around because she was always pretty judgmental. As I said we didn’t really go to church but the few times we tried to get back into it I would be close to tears because I knew if everybody knew about me I would not be accepted there. At the time I didn’t know of any Christians who were accepting of queer people and my family’s branch of Christianity definitely wasn’t. I think this was a big factor in my applying to strictly Christian colleges in an attempt to fix myself in their eyes.

Sam M: Do you think growing up further north from Seattle made a difference in your upbringing?

Sarah W: Absolutely. Marysville definitely has a small-town conservative vibe. My high school parking lot was full of big trucks and boys in Romeos – really hideous hick shoes – Including one truck in particular with a huge confederate flag on it. When I’ve gone back home recently I definitely saw lots of Trump posters. A lot of people never end up getting out of Marysville and stay stuck in their ways. It feels like a little pocket of conservative people in a liberal state. I remember being surprised to find out that Washington is considered so progressive because I never felt that way until I left Marysville.

Sam M: Did you feel that you were pressured to not come out?

Sarah W: My first really confrontation with my family about being queer was when my sister told my mom she was suspicious and later wrote me a letter saying she didn’t understand why I was “lusting” after a girl and that homosexuality is a sin. She wrote that she wished that she had taken to church with her and if she had maybe this wouldn’t have happened. My mom felt similarly although we didn’t necessarily talk about it directly. The one thing she did say is that although gay men seem to have some sort of biological component she thought that women were just damaged in some way by men and decided that women “were kind of sexy”. She was concerned that I would never be able to have a normal healthy relationship with any female friend. To this day I’ve never brought it up to my dad but I know he must feel similarly. When your whole family clearly feels that queer relationships aren’t healthy you’re not going to be likely to embrace it publicly. I know my mom has definitely mentioned she doesn’t know what people would think about me if I publicly dated a girl and that I couldn’t come back from it. So coming out never seemed like an option to me. Being queer at all, even privately, didn’t really seem like an option either.

Interviewing Sarah was a great opportunity to take the time and really get to apply what we’re learning in class to peoples lived experiences and see how that has affected their everyday lives. The best was getting the chance to see how Seattle was able to change Sarah’s opinion of being an out queer person and how that was a decision that impacted her life positively in comparison to the ways she grew up. I think gender, race, class, and sexuality play a huge part in how communities are shaped and then how those communities are able to affect us as individuals. The idea that one decision to move to a city like Seattle could make such a difference to a person is the whole reason that studying gender, race, and class in social stratification is so important. This class gives the opportunity to widen our eyes of the impact that our surroundings have on us. This interview taught me that sexuality plays such a key role in some peoples lives to the point that moving to a new city is the only way they can truly be themselves. Without studying sexuality in terms of social stratification it would be nearly impossible to recognize that because we’re often so blind to the oppression around us. I think the biggest lesson people need to learn from this interview with Sarah is that it’s most important to be yourself no matter what, even if that means moving to find a community that is more accepting because at the end of the day our personal happiness is what matters.

[betweenthelinesseattle-blog]

Test Interview Format

Sarah Wheeler is a queer woman who works as a therapeutic childcare specialist and a graduate of Pacific Lutheran University. She was raised in the small-town of Marysville about an hour north of Seattle. She moved away from home to attend college and then stayed in the Seattle area afterwards in order to be involved with the queer community feel that the Seattle area offers. She was raised within a religious household in a conservative town and felt it was against the grain to come out while living at home. After moving to the Seattle area she came out in college as queer after having looked for an accepting community. Since moving away from home she has felt the watchful eye of religion slowly disappear and instead been accepted by majority of the people she’s come into conversation about it with. She was also able to experience meeting people within the Christian faith that are accepting of queer people; something she feared would never happen. She feared that going into a profession involving young kids would eliminate the opportunity to be out to her coworkers but as she’s progressed in the field, she’s found that that isn’t the case. Her current company is recognized as leader in the country for supporting and serving LGBTQ families and she has even found that multiple coworkers identify as queer as well. Moving to the greater Seattle area has allowed her to be more confident in expressing her queerness and has given her more faith in the people around her and even within religious communities. Her favorite aspect of this experience is the fact that she can walk around holding her girlfriend’s hand comfortably and safely; something that she wouldn’t get to do in her hometown.

(Probably need a transition into the interview: such as, “I sat down with Sarah W. to talk all about these experiences”

Sam M: So in our class we’re talking about race, class, sexuality, and gender. Which of these would you think would be best to center our interview around today?

Sarah W: Sexuality would make the most sense because I identify as a queer woman.

Sam M: So how do you think your identity has shaped your experiences growing up and how did that bring you to Seattle?

Sarah W: I would say it kind of goes both ways for me because due to my family situation I didn’t necessarily accept and embrace my queer identity until I moved out of my family’s house. It was hard for me to be myself around my family so I didn’t even realize being queer was an option. I identified boys who I felt like I should be attracted to and focused on them but still found myself gravitating towards more intense relationships with girls. I sought out specifically Christian schools for college to try to live up to my family’s idea of how I should act. Even though I did end up at a Christian school, I still got out of my small hometown for college and embraced the progressive city vibe where I could find myself instead of worrying about my family.

Sam M: Was it hard growing up in a religious household while closeted?

Sarah W: My family never really went to church from the time I was around 6 years old but  I was very aware that my parents had Christian ideals. My parents met in bible college and were virgins until marriage – at least my mom was – and it was always expected that my sister and I would be too. My mom especially always had high moral standards and right around the time I had my first real queer experience my sister had begun to go to church with some friends. I found my sister to be the hardest to be around because she was always pretty judgmental. As I said we didn’t really go to church but the few times we tried to get back into it I would be close to tears because I knew if everybody knew about me I would not be accepted there. At the time I didn’t know of any Christians who were accepting of queer people and my family’s branch of Christianity definitely wasn’t. I think this was a big factor in my applying to strictly Christian colleges in an attempt to fix myself in their eyes.

Sam M: Do you think growing up further north from Seattle made a difference in your upbringing?

Sarah W: Absolutely. Marysville definitely has a small-town conservative vibe. My high school parking lot was full of big trucks and boys in Romeos – really hideous hick shoes – Including one truck in particular with a huge confederate flag on it. When I’ve gone back home recently I definitely saw lots of Trump posters. A lot of people never end up getting out of Marysville and stay stuck in their ways. It feels like a little pocket of conservative people in a liberal state. I remember being surprised to find out that Washington is considered so progressive because I never felt that way until I left Marysville.

Sam M: Did you feel that you were pressured to not come out?

Sarah W: My first really confrontation with my family about being queer was when my sister told my mom she was suspicious and later wrote me a letter saying she didn’t understand why I was “lusting” after a girl and that homosexuality is a sin. She wrote that she wished that she had taken to church with her and if she had maybe this wouldn’t have happened. My mom felt similarly although we didn’t necessarily talk about it directly. The one thing she did say is that although gay men seem to have some sort of biological component she thought that women were just damaged in some way by men and decided that women “were kind of sexy”. She was concerned that I would never be able to have a normal healthy relationship with any female friend. To this day I’ve never brought it up to my dad but I know he must feel similarly. When your whole family clearly feels that queer relationships aren’t healthy you’re not going to be likely to embrace it publicly. I know my mom has definitely mentioned she doesn’t know what people would think about me if I publicly dated a girl and that I couldn’t come back from it. So coming out never seemed like an option to me. Being queer at all, even privately, didn’t really seem like an option either.

Interviewing Sarah was a great opportunity to take the time and really get to apply what we’re learning in class to peoples lived experiences and see how that has affected their everyday lives. The best was getting the chance to see how Seattle was able to change Sarah’s opinion of being an out queer person and how that was a decision that impacted her life positively in comparison to the ways she grew up. I think gender, race, class, and sexuality play a huge part in how communities are shaped and then how those communities are able to affect us as individuals. The idea that one decision to move to a city like Seattle could make such a difference to a person is the whole reason that studying gender, race, and class in social stratification is so important. This class gives the opportunity to widen our eyes of the impact that our surroundings have on us. This interview taught me that sexuality plays such a key role in some peoples lives to the point that moving to a new city is the only way they can truly be themselves. Without studying sexuality in terms of social stratification it would be nearly impossible to recognize that because we’re often so blind to the oppression around us. I think the biggest lesson people need to learn from this interview with Sarah is that it’s most important to be yourself no matter what, even if that means moving to find a community that is more accepting because at the end of the day our personal happiness is what matters.