beyuji - Tumblr blog

[beyuji]

for once, yuji’s thankful for the hours she’s put into her acting lessons in these months at sr media. it takes every amount of focus she has to keep her expression schooled– because kou’s face is making it very hard to keep it up (even as she’s unable to help the twitch of her mouth when he turns to look). “it could be a good thing.” yuji tries, biting the inside of her cheek when she gets the urge to smile. “what if they’re trying to warn us of something? ghosts aren’t always a bad thing.” especially if it ends up just being creaky doors and loud air conditioning units. 

she blinks at kou– three times rapidly. “it’s better than an enemy, right?” realistically speaking, if ghosts did exist– the last thing you’d want to do is anger them, right? is it worse to try to make friends with it? though yuji guesses if kou is that afraid of ghosts– of the supernatural, as she’s learned, then maybe just ignoring it seems to be the better option. 

studying him for a moment, yuji’s head tilts to the side. she hums. “really?” she asks, though she knows she doesn’t need to. “why? irrational fears or…” her voice trails off.

kou is a bit of a coward – even if he doesn't seem like one from first glance; usually walking around the building cluelessly due to his terrible sense of direction. still, his eyes widen at yuji's words. was yuji always this brave? definitely a lot more than kou though, that much he knows. because if anything, kou is terrified at the thought of facing anything supernatural head one.

his lips part in shock as well. "woah," is all that he manages to say, but his eyes can't lie – he's terrified by the idea of seeing a ghost in real life. "that's crazy," he blinks. he thinks he feels goosebumps on his skin. was the ghost listening to them right about now? was it planning it's attack? subconsciously, he turns to look around.

"you'd make friends with a ... ghost?" the image of a woman in a long dress with one eye, blood splattered all over her dress appears in kou's mind and he shakes his shoulders a little in fear. "you're brave... i think... i think i'd faint if i saw ghost in front of me." which is true. kou might pass out, for real. "i've always been... a little afraid of the supernatural..." he continues, nodding his head. "i can't even watch a horror movie without covering my eyes."

[beyuji]

yuji won’t deny that seojun has got her attention– curiosity piqued. she stares at him, as if she can gleam whatever he’s talking about through his facial expressions alone. he starts with a time, and yuji hums– to show that she’s listening, but doesn’t speak. yuji pushes around the food on her plate idly, more interested in his story than eating. though as he continues, her eyebrows raise. she can’t fault anyone for taking advantage of the holiday discounts and deals by pretending to be a date. but seojun admitting it made things more difficult for him makes things steadily more interested. “more difficult?” yuji inquires. “like…what? now you can’t stop thinking them?” she asks, her lips twisting at the corners into something amused. just like a movie– how cute, even if it must be causing seojun a lot of inner turmoil right now. “that doesn’t bode well. or…” she trails off, head tilting to the side, scanning his face for anything. “…does it?”

he finds himself laughing a bit at her words. "it seems that way," he knew he spent his time there but he loved it more than anything. sure he takes a lot of time to practice and he enjoys the different classes he get to attend. sure he might be tired some days but he doesn't mind it.

he can't decide whether he should continue or stuff his face full of food. he already knows he's not embarrassed by it but it's the first time he's told anyone about what he has going on with his best friend. it has his mind reeling and he hadn't even confessed what's going on to his best friend yet.

"yeah, it happened at the christmas market actually..." he breathed out, his eyes looking towards yuji. he could feel the burn hitting his cheeks as he tried not to cast his gaze anywhere else. "well, we pretended to be a couple for the deal they were having and it's made things more difficult for my heart..."

[beyuji]

yuji hums. “dreams come true~” she sings softly, mouth tilting into an amused smile. shifting in her spot, she listens to hyejin’s thoughts– nodding her head understandingly. it’d be nice to have something not bubbly. yuji can agree with that.

“darker? like…suspenseful? scary?” she inquires, bemused. “or more like…girl crush?” girl crush is much more broad of a genre, and could emcompass a bunch of things. you’d have more of a variety there, for sure. if yuji had a choice, she’d likely prefer that route too. “it sounds like it’d be less embarrassing, at least.” yuji admits, smile turning wry.

though yuji is eager for debut, she’s not sure how happy she’d be if debut was guaranteed– but the concept was bubbly, bright and overly cutesy. she’d be grateful, but she knows at the core it’s grin and bear it. “i think girl crush would suit you more, too. though i think you’d pull over bubbly too just fine.”

sure with new people coming in, it keeps hyejin on her toes. she wonders if there would be something new and exciting going on at all. she knows the companies is always trying to come up with something new so she can only guess what. plus she'd love having other girls around at delta to have a bit of a friendly competition with.

she never likes waiting but she knows she wishes she could only know what was going to happen next. all she can do is wait like yuji. "i hope so too. i want us all to have the chance to debut and have our dreams come true." being on next gen and her previous experience made her just want this so much more.

she thinks carefully after hearing yuji's question. there is so many concepts she wants to do and knows a few she wouldn't be interested in. "i know i wanna do something different than the usual bubbly concepts that most girl groups seem to get for their debut. i want something different, a little darker so to speak." she doesn't hate the bubbly, girlfriend concepts but she doesn't know if she's like debuting that way first.

[beyuji]

a starter for @bexjae ( playlist )

it’s kinda therapeutic– making playlists. traversing through her music library and gathering up the best songs that she wants to show jae. girl groups and bubbly were broad, leaving her with a variety of choices to consider. she picks a few central ones– then kinda goes crazy. it doesn’t matter– as long as jae comes out with something he enjoys from it, yuji will feel accomplished. if it has enough songs, surely he finds something. 

meticulously unwrapping her headphones, she scrolls through the playlist, eyes flickering through the options. “okay, don’t be intimidated by how many songs there are.” yuji warns, hesitating over a song; she considers. “i tried to put a pretty good variety. but i have a few you could start with.”  pulling up jae’s contact, she leans back a bit in her seat, sending over the playlist to him. “okay, i sent it to you. but– you want a sneak peek?” yuji asks, then doesn’t wait for an answer as she sets her headphones in his direction, attention focusing back on her playlist. “prizm’s picky picky is a good one. i’ll recommend anything by cherish, too.”

[beyuji]

goeun ♡ intro: crush + BBB (240327)

[beyuji]

yuji will always give noel props for doing next gen. while yuji probably wouldn’t be able to resist not trying, she’d be miserable. all that work just to get eliminated? on television? the probability and unknown possibility of it happening would be too much for her. “that does sound stressful.” she comments, fighting back a grimace at the thought of it. its like preparing for an evaluation, except the time cut in half. or even shorter– double the stress.

we don’t need to be perfect at first try. well, yes. but yuji does– for herself. it’s frustrating to not get it down first hand, and yuji’s always has been peeved when she can’t. a matter of pride, probably.

yuji knows she asked noel for advice, but hearing it still makes her eye twitch. her lips purse and she glares at her own reflection in the mirror, giving a long hum as she processes that. she hates hearing that– hates hearing it from the coaches, and definitely hated hearing it from noel, too. but she asked, so she bites her tongue, closes her eyes and counts to five in her head.

“is it the expression i’m making?” yuji asks, once she’s pushed down her defensiveness and focuses on the matter at hand. “or is it my movement?”

beyuji

yuji thinks about it, taking a moment to imagine them both ways. the music would keep her on beat, and she’d be able to time it better with the melody playing. on the other hand, she can spend more focus on the dance without worry about missing anything to the beat– but then again, dancing without the music always feels a little…cringey, to her. when it’s herself, at least. “music, preferably.” she grimaces, nodding to herself though. as she sets up to try it again, she gives an acknowledging him to noel’s words. yuji understands that. it really is just trial and error until you get it right– repeated until there’s nothing to do but the motions. “i think i’m just impatient, too. i want things done first try, so if it takes me more, then i spiral.” raking a hand through her hair, she takes a deep breath– then attempts the moves again. she times it with the music, counting in her head as she watches herself move. when finished, she turns and stares at noel expectantly, taking a moment to catch her breath. “well?” she asks, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder.

it feels nice to feel like you’re getting better. during next gen noel was desperate to get better, constantly aware if he didn’t grow quickly in skills then he was getting eliminated. practicing without fear feels nice. noel is of course still working hard, as he hopes his contract will get extended, but he feels like he has to show and prove he’s improved to get better for that to happen. a year of dancing feels like a long and short time, but while noel has been dancing, he’s grown a lot, especially after becoming a trainee. he wishes to keep improving, for many reasons, and one being he likes getting asked for help, it feels nice.

he gives a nod “with music it is! i’ll find my phone”. “i think i was like that during next gen, i felt like i was in such a rush so i had to learn everything quickly, but right now we’re not in any survival show, we can take time to grow better, we don’t need to be perfect at first try” he shrugs, it feels a bit weird being the one to give advice. 

“it looks like you’re doing everything correct but… it looks a bit dull? lacks charisma?”.

[beyuji]

she is asking for a lot. yuji gets that– she already pushed a little, but what’s wrong with pushing just a little more? eunae could always say no again. she’d drop it after that, a little bit of her curiosity satiated. and her smile curves more into that of a pleased grin at eunae’s agreement. “i knew you’d come around,” she coos, playfuul.

yuji leans back a bit, closing her eyes and intaking eunae’s vocal performance. she sways a bit as she does, giving a hum once eunae’s finished. she takes a moment, gathering her thoughts before lifting her gaze to eunae and shooting her a small, genuine smile.

“i like the emotion,” yuji comments softly. “your voice compliments it well. and i love the melody you’re leaning into.” it sounds nice, fluid and smooth in a way that yuji wants to hear more of. she doesn’t ask for more though; she figures she’s asked enough of eunae already. “you have to let me hear it when it’s finished. it sounds great.”

it seems as both of them intend to invoke some kind of emotion with their creations, similar yet different. eunae is glad that the other shares a similar interest as her. the pianist hopes, dreams, that one day they'll be confirmed to debut together and collaborate on a song, sharing the stage with one of their very own creations.

"you're asking a lot from me here," she lets out a long, drawn out sigh. it's not long before eunae's lips turn into a grin, however. "i'm joking, of course," a boisterous laugh leaves her lips and she shakes her head. "anything for you."

she clears her throat before jumping into the chorus,

this is like hell, yeah, i'm unhappy pretending to be happy, tell ya, but, i'm unhappy busy decorating, looking at their feed i don't want to know, set me free it's like hell, yеah, i'm unhappy, i'm unhappy i'm unhappy

"so, what do you think?" eunae asks, keen to hear yuji's opinions.

[beyuji]

yuji snorts, lips twitching as she purses them to keep herself from laughing outright, it sounds silly, when he says it like that. “glad to shake things up then.” she muses, biting her cheek in thought.

at his negative answer, yuji gives a thoughtful hum, frowning. “oh,” she blinks, returning her eyes to the outside menu, cocking her head. well, she could always just try something that sounds nice then– and if it’s nice, or not awful, she’s sure she can come back and try something else. find her favorite. “the line is a bit…” she trails off, glancing around. it garners excitement, for sure. yuji’s just not sure if it’s hype that other people are interested rather than actual quality. “…scary.”

yuji’s eyes catch on one, staring at it for a moment before she points at it. “lavender is nice,” that’s familiar to her. she enjoys the flavor enough that it feels safe to her. “mocha is a safe bet, too. not a way you can mess that up, right?”

heechul keeps his gaze on her, confused a bit about what was going on but he was curious. he finds himself gazing back to the cafe, wondering when he'd get to go inside. it didn't seem like it would take long and he was ready to taste the different items on the menu they had. He was a patient person but the anticipation was hitting him hard.

he knows his work place is nearby but he didn't think to ever come here. it never crosses his mind at all. he nods his head once he hears yuji say his name. "yeah, that's me." he lets out a chuckle. he knows that he wears a name tag all the time but even that doesn't keep his name in someone's mind. "it really is. i don't usually see many outside my place of work." he smiles a bit. "nice to meet you outside of the grocery store."

"i haven't." he lets yuji know since he didn't usually go to new places. he got used to the same routine. "i got curious when seeing the line." he let her know, his eyes trying to glance towards the menu to find what he wants. "i am too. seems like they have so many options that i haven't had before."

[beyuji]

one eyebrow raises, yuji blinking at kou as head head tilts to the side. “oh?” she asks, leaning in closer in interest as he begins explaining. she gives a hum, tapping her nails on the table. she half considers lying, exaggerating a story just because she’s bored and she can, but kou’s nice. sweet, and she doesn’t know if he’s gullible enough to believe her.

“i haven’t seen anything,” she admits honestly. “but…” she trails off, frowning in thought. “i’ve heard weird noises.” things she could pass off as just building issues; creakiness in doors, air conditioning. “it’s probably nothing, right?” yuji clicks her tongue, glancing down at her script. “i’ve been thinking about facing it head on, next time. find out for myself.”

after a moment, yuji’s eyes move up, and her mouth curves into a smile. clasping her hands together, yuji lets out a curious hum. “if it is a ghost, it’s probably not a scary one. it hasn’t done anything weird or awful yet.” she reasons. “could make friends with it.”

despite his usual deadpanned expression — kou is a man of many fears. which, surprisingly, is something you might not expect from someone like him. for example, he fears frogs, the sound of nails screeching, and ... the supernatural. anything about the supernatural, actually.

so when yuji brings up the topic of ghosts randomly in the middle of looking through their acting script, his eyes widen, and he has to physically stop himself from jolting in his seat (a dramatic reaction, but perhaps apt since he was technically studying acting. dramatisation and all).

he turns to her, though, his attention now fully on his friend. "i..." he begins, words slow as usual. "i have... actually, just the other day, i left my phone in the practice room and had to beg nayoung to help me," he shudders at the thought of it. "there wasn't anything there, but..." he pauses for a moment, furrowing his brows. at this point, he's no longer paying attention to the script, too engrossed by the ghost of sr media. "maybe it hid itself when i came in..." a plausible idea, kou thinks. his eyes flutter up to meet yuji's. "why? did you see something? was it scary?"

[beyuji]

“a support system can be good to help with that mindset,” she offers quietly. “they don’t necessarily need to hear about what you’re going through, but maybe just there to stop those thoughts from getting you,” she reaches a hand up to knock at the side of her temple, cracking a smile.

the more egotistic part of her wants to agree, because yuji is smart, but she’s not quite sure she’s helping haein much with what she’s giving. yuji always felt that mindset is the key– (fueled by spiteful pride, of course) to getting over these hurdles. yuji likes having to shake things up, and even if they feel terrible in the moment, yuji doesn’t mind the moments that make her feel low. that question her worth and her drive and the continued question of why are you even doing this?

but what if she debuts the day after? what if all that sad feeling is whisked away just because she decided to keep pushing forward. that the way is worth it. that everyday she gets better, that every day of practice isn’t wasted because she’s trying.

yuji hums in acknowledgement in response. she does get what she means. “what don’t you think you’re not improving on?” she asks, genuine curiosity in her tone. “is it something in particular?”

usually, haein wasn't afraid of sharing her true thoughts. she believed that there was no harm in letting people inside her mind. it's not like she had anything to hide. however, she was aware that sometimes that wasn't the smartest idea as a trainee. she wasn't accusing yuji of anything, but she knew of a few people in her old company that would've loved to see haein in a vulnerable moment.

with that in mind, she might have kept this concern to herself, but she really was feeling a little lost, and she thinks talking it out with someone would be helpful. from the little interaction she's had with yuji, haein came to the quick conclusion that she didn't seem like the type to use this against her in the future. if she did? then, oh well.

she hums upon hearing yuji's training time, and she can't help but nod because that has been a while. haein thinks yuji's the longest trainee she's spoken to so far. "a support system," haein repeats with a single nod. her family has always been supportive of her, and she knows nobody would blame her if she went to them with her concerns, but she doesn't want to worry anybody.

"sounds smart," she says in response to yuji's advice with a chuckle. "i've been trying my best to keep that in mind." with that, she purses her lips before letting out another sigh. "it's just hard, especially because i don't think i've been seeing much improvement in myself. it's like i'm falling flat, if you know what i mean."

[beyuji]

yuji laughs into her soup at the answer, fighting back the urge to grin with a full mouth when eunae mentions hanging out with her. "awe," she says after swallowing, covering her mouth with a hand as she shoots eunae a look. "so sweet. i do love your company." yuji makes the notion of thinking it over, stirring her soup idly.

she'd love to hang out with eunae again outside the walls of sr media. and she did enjoy clothes shopping with her the last time they did, and yuji would imagine that she'd enjoy this just the same. kill two birds with one stone: spend time with eunae, and upgrade her living space a little.

"a break does sound nice," she says wistfully, giving a little sigh. these days she wishes they could have more days off-- especially with how stagnant the days have felt more recently. setting her bowl down, yuji's eyes glance around the room, thoughtful. reaching for her drink, she takes a sip-- eyes following to where eunae points.

her head tilts to the side, imagining it. giving a thoughtful hum, she nods. she could picture some sort of artwork there-- of what? she's not sure. "a pinterest board sounds fun," the corner of her mouth quirks up, and she leans back on her hands-- staring up.

"i like flowers," yuji says after a moment. "purple is nice. teal..." a steady tap of her fingers on the carpet. "i like trinkets. and-- don't make fun of me-- but i like old ceramic and porcelain little figurines." she confesses. "stuff you'd see in your grandmother's china cabinet."

a thought comes to her mind. "i've also been looking into knitting," she adds absentmindedly. "i kinda wanted to make a blanket."

eunae nods, understanding. between university and training, the pianist herself rarely spends time in her own home. it's a shame, really. the dust seems to collect itself these days.

"do i like interior decorating?" she repeats after yuji, raising an eyebrow. "not, really. no," eunae shakes her head, slurping on her soup once more. though the weather was starting to get warmer, the soup is still as comforting as it would have been on a cold, dreary day. "but i like hanging out with you," she sing-songs, smile on her face. her own apartment is pretty drab and dull, decorated with various pictures of her after recitals and competitions alike, a few medals and trophies strewn on the shelf that lays over her desk.

shin eunae will never come close to an interior designer, not even close with her walls painted gray and mismatched furniture, but she can lend her friend a hand when it comes to spotting a good deal.

"plus i need a break, something to get my mind to calm down. looking for some decor to make this place look a little brighter will do the trick," she grins at yuji, finishing off the last of what was left in her bowl.

she's a foreigner to having to share her own space, growing up an only child and moving into a studio apartment as soon as she left her childhood home. eunae can't relate, but nods anyways, pretending like she does. "i think some artwork would look nice over there," eunae points to a spot behind the couch. "what kind of things are you into? maybe we can make a pinterest board? so we know what kind of things to look out for."

[beyuji]

yuji thinks about it, taking a moment to imagine them both ways. the music would keep her on beat, and she’d be able to time it better with the melody playing. on the other hand, she can spend more focus on the dance without worry about missing anything to the beat– but then again, dancing without the music always feels a little…cringey, to her. when it’s herself, at least.

“music, preferably.” she grimaces, nodding to herself though. as she sets up to try it again, she gives an acknowledging him to noel’s words. yuji understands that. it really is just trial and error until you get it right– repeated until there’s nothing to do but the motions. “i think i’m just impatient, too. i want things done first try, so if it takes me more, then i spiral.” raking a hand through her hair, she takes a deep breath– then attempts the moves again. she times it with the music, counting in her head as she watches herself move. when finished, she turns and stares at noel expectantly, taking a moment to catch her breath. “well?” she asks, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder.

beyuji

a starter for @noelxbe ( day by day )

day after day, week after week, month after month. stagnant. repetitive. like watching paint dry and waiting for the minutes on a clock to tick. yuji likes routine, but even she gets bored of it. she wants something, and with the companies so focused on next gen at the moment– yuji feels like they can only wait. they’ll wait until the new kids from next gen come in– and then what next? more waiting until they decide what to do with them? a sigh leaves her. yuji fixes her ponytail, blankly staring at her reflection. her designated day of training at the axis building today, and thankfully, she’s joined by noel. which spices up things a little bit. yuji is going to take any ounce of it, if she can.  “will you watch my footwork for this portion?” she asks, pivoting on her heel to face the other. she glances down at her legs, then back up at noel, giving a little huff. “i can’t tell if i’m just sick of doing the same thing or i need legitimate, actual help.” 

noel is happy for axis labels to happen, though it seemed a bit scary in the start and he was unsure what it meant, now he liked it. he likes his fellow lime entertainment trainees, it’s those he usually practices with, but it’s nice practicing with people from other labels too, especially when those people are your friends. noel is surprised how small the world is, he remembers how surprised he was when he saw familiar faces during next gen, and then he became a trainee and again saw familiar faces. it was a surprise, he had no idea his friends wanted to become idols, then again, it wasn’t something he had shared himself with anyone before he joined next gen.

noel is happy to be practicing with yuji, she’s a friend, and she’s talented. “yeah for sure, you wanna show me with or without music?”. it still feels a bit weird when people ask for his help when it comes to dance, singing or rap. during next gen he was always last, so he got used to asking for help, and for no one to ask him for help. it’s still in him, the feeling he isn’t as good as the people around him, but he’s aware he’s moved far, both in dance, singing and rap. “when i started dancing, i wasn’t aware just how much you’d repeat the same moves over and over again, just to make sure of some small detail”.

[beyuji]

it makes sense, doesn’t it? with a new group, comes curiosity and attention. consumers are always looking for something new and fresh– something to shake things up. and despite all the good positivity in their relations with one another– there is always friendly competition. friendly rivalry. surely, they’d feel obligated to at that point, no?

they both can hope. nothing against hoping. it’s all they really can do at this point, no matter how sick yuji feels about waiting.”well, i hope it’s at least as painful as possible.” yuji muses. “i think we deserve it.” maybe not as much as hyejin– who’s done next gen along with her previous experience. 

she taps her nails against the counter, frowning as she stares forward in thought. “what kind of concept would you want?” yuji inquires. “for a debut, at least.” yuji could think of a few. she can also think of a few she’d rather steer clear from as well.

it wasn't that hyejin was against more trainees being around, it just meant that anything could happen. would they be thinking of debuting any of them yet or were they just adding more to the roster to have potential trainees to get ready for molding into idols. it let her a bit on edge if she was being honest.

companies were always secretive though with their plans so hyejin hopes that some of them from any of the three companies got to debut at some point. even if she didn't debut, she'd cheer on her friends that did. she wanted the chance to debut but she couldn't tell what the companies were planning in the slightest. even if another company takes her to debut, she'd be ready for it.

hyejin finds herself nodding instantly. "i'm sure it would. if one debuts someone or a group, the other's would follow after easily." she knew the companies were in a competition of sorts so it would make sense they'd try to be one of the first to do something. "yeah? honestly, i do as well." a frown spreads across her lips. it could go anyway possible which in a way worried her. she just hopes they go the normal route and not drag it out. she doesn't wanna do another survival type show. she doesn't think she could take it.

[beyuji]

yuji stares at him for a few moments, trying to place exactly where she’s seen him. she files through all the faces and potential meeting points in her head, frowning for a moment. once it settles– and her brain pulls out the words kind and grocery story, she pieces it together.

“i didn’t either,” she says, genuinely. there are so many people in the city, that the chances aren’t super common. though this cafe is in the same area as the grocery store yuji is pretty sure he works at. it’s not entirely impossible then, she guesses. “it’s…” wracks her brain for a moment. “heechul, yes?” she tests, not quite sure. “what a small world,” a huff of a laugh leaves through her nose. “my name’s yuji.” she introduces.

“have you been here before?” yuji asks; partly curious about the menu, partly to waste time waiting in line. she glances back towards the front, narrowing her eyes at the menu. “i’m still deciding on what to get.”

heechul knows working in a grocery store means that he sees many regulars. he doesn't hate it at all. he likes seeing some of the same people everyday and greeting them. it's not what he's usually used to with previous jobs he had as a teenager. at least this job keeps him from not being a shut in and keeping to himself. he knows he doesn't need to do that at all especially if he wanted to reach certain goals in his life.

he's seen yuji a few times in the store and tries to greet her instead of just keeping to himself. it's too easy with his job to do so. he knows he's not always the one helping her out but saying hi is always nice in his mind. besides his management would be upset if he didn't greet the customers.

right now he was waiting in line for a cafe that is relatively new. he had a day off so he could finally come and see what all the commotion is. plus he loves a good cafe. hearing a voice, he turns and seeing yuji. his eyes widen a bit since he didn't expect to see her here though he flashes a small smile. "hi. seems you do. didn't expect to run into you here."

[beyuji]

yuji gives a sympathetic hum. “our personal dungeons,” she jokes idly, cracking a small smile. often times all they see are the practice rooms; if it isn’t dance, then it’s vocal lessons. acting lessons, free practice, etiquette. there’s always something they’re locked up doing. 

she takes a bite of her lunch, chewing as she listens, though her attention drifts up to seojun when he trails off, the words processing in her head. she swallows, covering her mouth with a fist as she observes the other. yuji’s eyes narrow, and she waits a moment before she speaks.  “an interesting experience?” she repeats, raising a brow. with the red in his cheeks, yuji isn’t sure what to expect. something embarrassing? something funny? something in the romantic sense? yuji can’t help but be curious though. she’s nosy. she loves knowing things. “aaaaand…?” she starts slowly, dragging it out with an expectant tone. “don’t leave me hanging.”

even with nothing much going on, seojun has been making sure he's putting in all the work possible when it comes to being a trainee. he never wants to let down anyone not even himself. he can wait around for the next thing that the labels will throw their way but he's still making sure his dancing is top notch as well as his singing. though at least right now he can spend time with one of the other trainees instead of keeping himself in one of the trainee rooms.

looking up from his own tray, he flashes yuji a smile upon seeing her. he always likes talking and spending time with yuji whenever they have the chance. they had both been busy though but he appreciated that they go the chance to speak to one another now. "it has been." he lets the words out, before going back to his food. "they have. feel i've been in the practice rooms a lot lately." thinking carefully, he wonders what more he'd done besides practice. that's when his cheeks start to burn a bit. "well...i have an interesting experience a few months ago with my best friend..." seojun can already tell that his mind is reeling on if he should say anything. he trusts yuji though so he doesn't mind telling her about what happened during the christmas market.

[beyuji]

yuji hums empathetically, frowning in thought. starting is always the hardest part; yuji herself finds it easier to tinker with things already existing, works best when she has the framework to build upon. songwriting, while yuji finds it comes easier the more she works on it– is hard, in theory. sure, a lot of it is subjective, but there’s so much you can do with it.

“lyrics are hard.” yuji agrees. words don’t always come together so easily– and how do you write them in the context of songwriting? do you go for prose or straight-forward? “and hey, you never know. whatever you were doing could have been a portion of a song,” yuji points out. you can always build off of something, she’s grown to learn. even if it comes out as basic, you can always add to it. make it something else. “as someone who is a huge overthinker,” yuji starts, smile turning wry. “i do think it’s better to just…stop thinking about it. i know that’s hard, but when it comes to songwriting, it’s better to just let it come naturally. forcing it does nothing.”

muse is a fickle creature– and you can always be your own worst enemy. yuji’s learned that taming them both takes practice and patience, and even yuji breaks and tries to force creativity; it never ends up well, or it ends up scrapped and redone into something better. “sometimes i find it’s easier patching things together– save a voice note for a melody, or scribble down some phrases and save them for later,” yuji offers. “i don’t think any bit of creative thought is something wasted.”

initially, when chaerin had become a trainee, she was solely focused on catching up with her peers. seeing that she came from a background that involved no singing or dancing, she believed that those were the more important skills she needed to improve on first as they were the basis for any artist. however, now that she's been here for over a year, her interest has grown in other areas.

"you're right," she says at her friend's encouragement although she still can't help the sigh that leaves her lips. "it's just that i don't really know where to start now that i'm on my own." with a purse of her lips, she shrugged her shoulders at how uncertain she felt about everything. chaerin wanted to continue writing music, but the one song she did write during the camp was done with a lot of help from others. she doesn't think she could do much of it now that she was completely on her own.

letting out a hum, she thought back to the first few weeks after the camp was over and how she strummed a few chords on her guitar, but that was pretty much it. "oh, the lyrics were the hardest part for me," she admitted as she chuckled. "i did a few things with my electric guitar, but nothing that would be worthy of being called a song." she ran a hand through her hair before allowing another sigh to leave her lips. "maybe i should stop overthinking everything, right? like just start writing stuff and hoping for the best."

[beyuji]

yuji blinks at the other, intaking her reasoning and suppresses the frown that wants to tug at her mouth– especially when haein smiles. an excuse, more than likely– though yuji’s unsure if she should pry further or not. there’s something about the other’s smile that yuji doesn’t like, like the twist of it is off. everything yuji’s seen of haein has been bright, bubbly; she initiated conversation first easily the last time they had interacted.

“right…” yuji trails off, nodding her head, giving the other a sympathetic smile. it still could be true– training is rough somedays. especially now-a-days when it’s been feeling so repetitive as of late. especially for the other, because if yuji remembers correctly, she’s trained previously somewhere else. “i’ve been there.”

yuji doesn’t offer much else of a response, content with just observing haein while she fiddles with her headphones absentmindedly; maybe waiting for something. turns she was right, because haein continues, and yuji almost snorts in amusement. she shifts instead, letting out a soft chuckle in response to haein’s laugh. “i’ve been here a while, yes.” she answers. “over a year now.” and almost a half, if yuji counts the months at lime.

her brow raises at the following question, blinking at the other as she processes. is that what’s got haein so down? for a moment, yuji doesn’t know how to answer. she hums instead, to show that she’s thinking– glancing away. part of her wants to respond with i always believe in myself, because yuji does, for the most part. but she’s sure that isn’t what haein wants to hear, nor will it help her.

“it’s…all about the mindset, isn’t it?” yuji says after a moment of silence. “i tend to get lost in my head, too. i overthink, a lot. more than you think. that’s usually when i feel like i’m struggling the most– and i usually just…end up asking myself why am i doing this?” she explains. “if i feel this way about it, then why am i even trying? those sort of things.” it doesn’t always help. sometimes yuji feels that way for days, until she’s able to think about something else. “if i think my reasoning is enough, that a few bad days are worth it– then i just…move past it.” one shoulder shrugs. “it helps to have people around you. a support system– because we can’t always trust ourselves, right?” a shadow of a smile crosses her face. “we tend to be our biggest critics.”

the one thing that she had always been proud of was her neverending confidence in herself. she was the type of person who could fall seven times and get up eight without any doubts. however, that mindset of hers has been wavering over the past few weeks. actually, it's been wavering ever since she got her second chance here at sr media because the last thing she wants is this second chance ending in failure and it becoming her last chance.

she tries her best to suppress the sigh that is close to leaving her lips, covering it up with a shaky smile instead. "oh, you know. i was up pretty late last night practicing." it's not a complete lie, but it's not the whole truth either. yes, she was tired from practicing late into the night, but she was also just caught up in her own thoughts. yet, she doesn't want to spill her heart out to yuji when they were still only getting to know one another. the most haein's ever spoken to her was back during the songwriting bootcamp and even then, most of the conversation centered around the lesson they took together. she doubts yuji wants to hear all about her struggles.

however, haein can't help but find comfort in the way yuji looks at her. there's a sort of warmth, and she thinks yuji's a safe person to speak to. "well, actually, yeah. i've been swimming in my own thoughts for weeks," she confesses with a nervous laugh to cover up her uneasy mindset. "you've been training for long, yeah?" while she doesn't know exactly how long yuji's been around, there was something about her that just screamed she was more of a senior trainee. "what do you do when you're struggling to believe in yourself?"