bhintatta

[bhintatta]

Througout the human history, there are some words which become eternal and leaves ever lasting impression. This is what’s happening in India, where a courageous man has stepped up to publically thrash political correctness and express resentment toward incompetent current government.

Anant Singh, the man who completely changed the political status quo of India by these words “Lauda Ki Sarkar Hai’ overnight.

These words enrage fire of patriotism in hearts of Indians, willing to set against injustice and atrocities till dying breath. This has become the household term in India for expressing views in an unapologetic and obdurate way.

It’s still considered taboo by so-called liberals/left-wingers to have an individual stance differing from mainstream. Anant Singh is a role model for people belonging to this narrow spectrum of rational thinkers. His boldness bolsters the moral of youth belonging to minority which stand against orthodox conformist narrative. Like many others who refuse to bow down, he’s being falsely accused of several criminal charges.

His traditional Hindu Sher attire, macho mustache and entertaining accent makes him the manliest man of this country. A desi Giga-Chad.

In his support, numerous lion-hearted Indians are fueling an inferno of revolution, which will soon bring back days of Shahid Bhagat Singh and Neta Ji. Everyone is taking part in this movement where we use Anant Singh’s iconic photograph as profile picture.

Here are few of those stout-hearted warriors

Credit: This movement was started by Manbinder Mondal, Vikrum Malik, Sanu Arain and Kartik Kalia.

[bhintatta]

NOPE, I CAN’T PREDICT

This national lockdown due to Coronavirus might be bad effects on economy and majority of Indian population but for me it’s a boon. I have so much free time to think and try new things, the best thing is I’m having something equivalent to post nut clarities on daily basis.

Yes, the enlightened masturbator is being blessed with with eternal wisdom and knots of deep philosophical questions are untangling on their own. My preconceived notions, believes and opinions which are part of ‘what I am’ are being proven wrong one by one. The concepts which I was proud about discovering (realising) are now seem illogical, naïve and utter bullshit, when are tried to validate on my current experiences. I won’t deny that they seem pretty good for an average pseudo-intellectual or wanna-be philosopher in his teens who tries to show off his Sherlock level deduction skills but someone who has observed and played attention to his life can easily point out the logical fallacies lying beneath these crappy ideas.

Here are few of them-

1.   I can predict future by following pattern of past experience.

2.   People belonging to same stereotype will follow similar path/destiny.

I have put effort so this world owes me success.

Let me prove them wrong backed up by evidence.

 1        - This whole future prediction thing came from my last two years and it was extremely accurate to predict future but that future was only limited to 6-7 months. The same script was running and everything was going as expected like

. Jan-April = Grind season

. April-May = Failure and think you are loser

. Then until Oct do feelings/luv and waste time in random things but surely it levels up the game.

. Realisation and get back to work

I’ll link that “Dank prediction” document here which elaborated it further. Now this time everything or I can say anything didn’t go as pReDiCteD. The reason behind this was simple, okay not that simple but scientifically studied and explained i.e. “Human barin is evolved in such an manner to find patterns and increase our survival rate by using past experiences as an guide but in modern age, we find pattern when there are none”.

I made my theories about future and set my expectations according to them instead of doing logical analysis. That’s actually an feature of brain do save that hard grinding which is required to put in the process. Fuck this evolution, if not payed attention, it can mess up a lot of lives.

 2 – So this is pretty straight forward to explain, I had this senior in school who was smart, ambitious and from not-so-good financial background. There were too many similarities between us that it was hard to ignore them like-

A)- He went upto district level and I managed to secure 3rd position at State Science Quiz from our school

B)- We both scored 424 marks in 12th boards and had equal marks in physics.

C)- He was school topper but failed in first semester of college, I did the same.

D)- In second year he ignored college completely for an competitive exam and failed, it cost him 2 years by taking admission back with two-years juniors (with me). I did exactly same and also failed to crack the exam, somehow I was able to continue my under graduation

Now as everything in my academic carrier was similar to his and in his third year he got into IAF, I was sure that I’ll also make it big this year i.e. get into IIT.

Wasn’t it obvious to fall for this trap? But here I am defeated, feeling like shit and again at same point. Got AIR 1903, it’ll get me NIT Hamirpur at best but nope, I can’t do this. I dreamed for Lambo, now Swift won’t satisfy me. This is how I’m again proved wrong.

I was slightly better than him and faced worse conditions than him (maybe). But hey, here’s the secret- it means nothing. All that ‘world is simulation’ argument shatters for my reasoning, no one is following predefined scripts and I shouldn’t expect it to be like that either.  

 3)- Failed in 1st year because didn’t study shit,  2nd year worked hard but still there were distractions and barely cleared the  cutoff of JEE and finally 3rd year – worked my ass off for three months and felt entitled to success, some second tier NIT is best what I can get (low-key failed to achieve my goal ).

I was acting like  an entitled piece of shit and hoping because everyone called me an loser, faced some real life problems  just like movies, I was destined to win.

Nope, It only happens in Indian Idol or TV reality shows, in real world no one owes you shit. No rules are followed in this land of savages, shove those Karma and Do Hard-work and Win rules up your soy-boy dumb ass. I may sound like a bitter loser bitching about how life is unfair but believe me I’M NOT. I’m  not saying that one should give up and use these explanations as excuses, just analysing  logically it’s evident that anyone with sound critical thinking should be able to accept that there are no rules. You work hard, your chances of success increases and it’s a matter of chance how faster you get lucky to land your shot (I’m talking about lazy stupid piece of horseshit like me).

Now I’m drunk and I can’t write anything productive now I think. So bye

05-April-2020 (Coronavirus Lockdown)

Kartik K. Kalia

[bhintatta]

Omegle Tales

Thanks Kartik for A2A

Qurantine proved to be the the the reason which made Omegle, once again the go to site for bored ones around the globe.

Warwrick Maths Professor- I expected this guy to be some teenage nerd, it’s not that common to find people with interest as ‘maths’. I opened up with Maths is gay, this guy didn’t say anything. I tired to seem smart by throwing some words like ‘you know complex analysis and group thory huh’, fella replied with ‘lol, who doesn’t’.

Later he mentioned he’s a professor at Warwrick University, he was realy into maths and entered college when he was just 17 (I did the same but I’m dumb). Ahter this basic introduction we talked about 3Blue1Brown, Numberphile, ZachStar (Major Prep) and other similar ones. Especially about 3Blue1brown’s video in which he plots the graph of COVID-19, algorithm and his approach.

Later he explained a better algorithm, he helped his students to design at University. I didn’t get most the things he was talking about but I kept humming along, pretended like it was obvious ‘yeah, that one is better hmmm’.

I got bewildered in buzzwords which I dropped earilier to look not complete outsider from the mathematical realm.

In the end he asked ‘You wanna keep in touch?’

Damn, that was a shit load of ego boost.

We talk about Modi on discord sometimes (okay, once).

E-Thot

After getting tired of bots spamming me to join their discord servers and “M27 horny” incel fellas, I changed my interest tags and bumped into this fellow Indian warrior who was in search of SeXtiNg. Then I reavealed that I trolled him becuase he was getting virtual BJ from a straight guy. #Mr.Prankster

This guy could feel the resentment and fear of dying virgin from my replies, he turned out to be omegle equavalent of Actor Varun Pruthi for me.

After some deep conversations like asking about my dick size and reason for being virgin, he gave me a proposal I couldn’t turn down. He turned sherlock mode on and started planning how we would execute this mission impossible 7.

It was time to explore my feminine side, I became his bi-sexual friend and he added me into a group chat and introduced me to this nymphomaniac. The dots started to connect, everything was connected, my dick size became my identity.

Objectification of women was an alien concept for me but now it wasn’t.

The first text popped up in chat ‘Do you suck a lot of dicks?’

Yup, that’s how the mafia works. I tried to ignore gay vibes and defended my masculinity by proclaiming myself as “Top”, followed by ‘squiddle my diddle’ to elucidate my intentions about what I was looking for.

I tried to act like a player and DM’d her, expecting some lame reply. Still I don’tknow why but she started speaking french, I mean c’mon. I can’t even speak english properly and you are flaunting your french. But I didn’t say anything, she was enjoying pussy-privillage.

Hardly two minutes passed and she sent ‘show me’.

Okay, that was quick, even our Indian boys don’t ask for bob-pics this much fast. *Incoming video call* adrenaline and cortisol nibbas rushed into blood, anxity bar was full . What if there’s some guy just trolling me or it’s a scam where she’ll record and blackmail me. I’m aware that no girl would want my nudes when they have unlimited supply of unsolicited dick pics but still I was scared and declined the call.

Now my friend cum pimp messaged and assured that there’s nothing sketchy. I was determined to see those majestic boobies for which I was lured into all this

I muster up the courage and call her and surprisingly she picked up immediatly, A dark screen shows up, my speculations were about to be the reality, I was sure that now someone from other side will say ‘chutiya bnaya’ laughingly and flash his penis before hanging up the call.

I had a sigh of relief when I heard her. Just like that Naughty America intro, her whispring voice ran a wave euphoric tingling in my whole body, the stress which was piled up earlier vanished. It was nothing less than ASMR voice, never thought my name could sound this much sexy.

She said: Show me now.

I was confused for a moment, show what? I wasn’t a salesmen who will just reach out to his bag and grab a full fledged erect penis to show her. I mean yeah, we go around popping random boners at un-expected places but this was just way too fast.

Things don’t work like this, at least mine doesn’t.

After explaining her about my need of visual stimulation to raise the bar for her, we did something (not going to explain).

As I explained earlier, she had a luscious voice, everything she said was arousing and surely it served its purpose. But she also wanted me to do dirty talk and *moan*.

So here I was saying Oh yeah (….) in my Punjabi accent which sounded something like “O jeh, phakk it bebi”.

Somehow she was okay with it and later swithched to Hindi for obvious reasons. Later she expressed her desire for a dominant male to treat her like a slave, call her all the cuss words one can imagine. All those hundreds of hours spent in watching BDSM were going to pay back, I started articulating my ideas for the script which will make me look like a chest-thumping alpha male.

It was showtime, I started shooting blend of swear words originating from both Hindi and Punjabi lexicon.  My delivery was flawless, each gaali filled with emotions, my accent added inroduced a whole new dimension to it. She was awestruck, probably after witnessing my command over the art of profanity.

At this point I almost forgot what the actual fuck we were supposed to do, my inner toxic-tenager was ragging to destroy the opponent like it used to do on facebook in good ‘ol days. My erection was gone, I was sitting there in front of camera, holding my flacid shlong.

I’ve to admit she was very supportive, even after all this she didn’t leave. She giggled when I apologized for all the mess, and decided to revive the fallen one.

She came up with this idea of using a pen to visualise as mine and proceded to give virtual BJ. To make things more realistic she decided to add an extra aspect of sound, which sounded something like this- “dok-dok-dok-dok”.

I was trying hard to control my laugh but then out of nowhere she said ‘Chod bhen ke lode’.

At that moment I lost it.

After laughing like an retarded chimp, I was certain that she will say fuck off and block me but again, she proved me wrong. She did call me immature but wasn’t mad,

[bhintatta]

Etarnal Lovers

I pin her against the wall, grab her wrists, lean forward on her, brush off hair from her face. She raise her chin up, we lock our eyes and lips start to touch. I suck her lips till, our tounges start to explore, bodies starts to get tense and we both get lost in the moment. As she surrenders herself, I hold her tightly, she can't escape. She feels my grip getting tighter as every moment pass, everything feels unnatural but she can't stop. Something feels weird as we kiss, some creature in my mouth, set of razor sharp teeth bitting her tongue, pain is immeasurable but she can't escape. My body turns cold and serves as straight-jacket, tears of pain come up in her eyes, blood drips from her lips, her tongue gets ripped off. Her screams can't escape, those tears mean nothing, my nails dig her tender flesh, every moment filled with agony and it doesn't seem to end. Someone crawls down her throat, she feels getting torn apart, whole body starts to spasm as she starts to faint. At once her struggle stops, that heart comes to halt, pale turns to blue and the one I knew died. In my arms she was dead and the devil smiled. A sudden gush of blood, fills her up with life but it was someone else who was once again alive. She was in my body and now she got her own, my eternal lover is with me, it's time to get back home.

[bhintatta]

I'll walk up to my daughter's boyfriend and say- 'Your bitch call me daddy, cuz I fucked her mum hunnhhh' *fingerguns*

[bhintatta]

Entitled To Success

Entitled, the word which has completely changed it’s definitation due to sub-reddits like r/entitledparents making it instant reminder of someone on the extreme end of cringe-meter. That’s how I’m acting now, after failing consecutively for three years in all kind of challanges ranging from rote-n-vomit college exams to tougher ones like JEE and JAM, I still feel like somehow it’s not the end. Everything is in front of me, my flaws and weaknesses which is a pretty good recipe for a perfect failure. Instead of accepting that maybe I’m not that good to acheive my dReAms and will probably stay in this mediocrity all my life, I’m planning to go even higher.

I know it sounds like some Ted-Talk about someone who never gave up and kept moving forward but to be honest I can’t go on my whole life with this delusional mindset, everything is getting worse after every failure. Althogh I’m improving as an individual and getting mature but nobody gives a fuck about it, all what matters is end result and that’s the thing I haven’t acheived yet. I’m heading towards being that guy who gives unsolicited advice and acts like a highly intellectual person but when it comes to his accomplishments, he’s an utter failure, always telling how he missed by just a narrow margin and would make it this time.

NIT, I was aiming for it last year and now I have a chance to go there but this fucking ego isn’t allowing me to do so. JAM score was not even close to my expectations still I’m getting some low level NITs but nope, homie going back into same shithole of grinding one more year of preperation for JAM which will be filled with humiliation and explaining why I’m not a loser.

As I said the level is rising every year, oh boy, this time it escalated to another hightes. Taya is again in his furious mode which seems periodic after every two years, fucking with everyone which comes into his way and as always thinking everyone is noting but a dumb-fuck. Fella already got a shop on rent and about to get a loan of 1 Lakh on my name to open a cybercafe cum online form filling center named KARTIKEY SOLUTIONS. Bruh, I suggested to name it Digital Worls or some shit like that but that’s not the point, there are already three compititors doing the exact same thing and I’m supposed to generate revenue to pay EMI+rent in a small town where people bargin on cost of black-n-white photostat. I’m not saying it’s not possible but again I’ll get crushed under these boomer’s expectations, 

This is the point where I should re-evaluate my goals and start with a realistic prespective, stop thinking that I’m destined to be on the top becuase this world doesn’t owe me shit. I should this and that yada yada.... that’s the whole point. 

I’ve become a little bitch who’s ego has been hurt and now doen’t care whether failure is in again my fate or how things will work out. Here’s the thing, the bar has been already set, I’ve come too far to back off now, It’s all or nothing. I can’t let myself down, it’ll be extremely hard and nothing like I’ve faced before but I don’t care.

 I know only one thing I CAN, I WILL, I MUST.

20-March-2020 (Corona-virus)

[bhintatta]

Okay, I failed again

It’s been two days since the result came out, I got AIR 1900 which is quite depressing because I was aiming for under 300, I might get  some low ranked NIT but hey, I never wanted to get into NIT/IIT to study in the first place. My purpose behind this was to remove this loser tag off my head which I’ve got after failing in many exams in a row, everyone thinks I’m a pathetic loser. It’s not like I’m considered worthless or dumb, I’m smart and they know it but ehhhhhecjenj

Let me give an analogy, I’m like racing car with a pretty decent horsepower under my hood but no one is ready to place a bet on me because I’m unreliable, I won’t start everytime when needed, shitty fuel efficiency, I won’t endure those laps with a steady pace for a long time. So yeah I make great engine purring sound but when it comes to over all rating, I’m worst, even below average ones. I’ve tried off-roading, grand-pix, mosh pit and street racing but sucked at all of them. Somehow there is an something unsetteling about all this that I’ve never put the effort required to excell at any of them, I’ve always ran away from hardwork, only burnt my wheels just 2-3 months before the actual race. Man it’s like regret of killing my own dreams which could have been alive but aren’t due to my habit of procrastination, having ambigious goals mixed with absolute garbage work ethic.

When I saw Ratan Tata on YouTube talking about how everyone left him including his friends during his hard times, I wasn’t buying that at all. I mean the idea of my close friends leaving me when I’m down was pretty bizzare, I’ve been there for them so won’t they do the same? I got all my answers this time.

First of all I’ve never seen anyone hitting rock bottom the I am doing right now this hard in my life, failing one time is completely different from being precieved as doomed to fail. It starts with everyone losing respect for you followed by ignoring or we can say not giving a fuck about your presence/what you say. It’s like those typical indian teenage serials where you belong to a wealthy friend circle and after you become poor everyone starts to ignore you, now it’s not intuitive that why won’t you fall one level down in social hirearchy. Let me explain, after losing respect and all that I should be part of ‘regular everyday normal motherfucker club’ but nope, I’m outcasted. 

It’s not like I’m hurt or bitter about it but the way I saw people changing is biggest plot twist i’ve seen. When your closest friend have the guts to blame their misery on you by labeling you as ‘bad luck’, man it’s something different, never saw this shit even in movies. People aren’t afraid to bring up my failures in arguments or straight up calling me an utter failure. Here’s some shit I witnessed-

1) Dude work hard, your parents are expecting great results becuase you have potential. Look at Kartik, everyone knows he’ll fail that’s why even his parents don’t give a shit about him.

2) Look dude, If you fail this time then let me make it clear, I don’t want bad luck in my life. 

It was heartbreaking at the moment but I got along with it, I didn’t gave anyone explanations or argued back becuase here’s the thing, when you are down be prepared to be used as a punching bag by others or just lose contact with these negative people who’ll constantly remind you of your failures (not in a positive way to motivate). I chose the later one.

This sudden change in behaviour also aprears in your family members, my relatives gathered around and gave their explanations that why I’m such a pathetic loser. I couldn’t even speak for myself at that time, somehow I was able to hold my tears and sat there but I knew if I tried to justify my situation it was sure breakdown in front of everyone. At this stage your explanations and justifications are just excuses, no matter how reasonable or justifiable they are, it doesn’t matter at all. 

I know it’s obvious to think that i’m blaming my failure on others or external circumstances but no, I’m completely owning it and belive that it was my fault but not fullfilling other’s expectations isn’t my fault. If someone else has the nerve to pass their judgment without knowing the whole story then they should have guts to have a look at things from my end also. 

In the end I’ve decided not to give any eplanation to anyone and isolate myself from interacting with these energy leeches. I won’t tell anyone about my goals and heck never be vulnarable again becuase this adult life seems to be pretty dark and I can’t afford to  degrade my state of mind dealing with them.

THIS WORLD IS MEAN AND IT’S COMPLETELY OKAY.  

They’ll suck my balls when I make it to the other side.

[bhintatta]

Too much curious and happy

People are too much curious about my results and somewhere genuinely happy to see me fail. It's not like they give a fuck about me or keep thinking about it with that evil grin as depicted in movies. But yeah, whenever they get a chance they do. I always thought this was some kind of bullshit only looser belive in but nope, i was dead wrong. It's not that common because people are too afraid to pass an judgment in the beginning, like in your 1st try or trivial things. But when they come across your failing streak their brain automatically makes predictions that you are going to fail again for sure and they stick to it. It's like a validation to their intellect and analysing capabilities to predict future. Often it becomes extremely annoying for me to even have a conversation with them because I can feel that all the time they are just judging me on their shitty matrices. That stupid smirk makes things even worse and they need to know every single detail for some reason. Look I'm not dumb and can clearly see intentions by which most of the people are speaking, if I'm sleeping at 3am it's non of your fucking business. Just because I said 'I like studying in night' doesn't mean i spend whole night sticking to some shitty textbook learning useless facts/concepts. Example - Tayi: In winters it becomes hard to get out of bed (with a smirk about why I woke up at 7am) Me: Yeah, I slept at 3 last night haha Tayi: Result card will tell everything. I'm like yo wtf, so yeah adult life is pretty fucked up especially for me (conformation bias hehe)

[bhintatta]

16th March 2020

As 5 days are remaining for JAM result and I'm realising a lot of things so just gonna post'em here for my future self.

[bhintatta]

Corona Thought

Idk whether corona that much of a big deal or not but if I die virgin be prepared, lube your buttholes yall

[bhintatta]

Fuck'em bitches, i got pussy