bi-as-in-bi-bitch - Tumblr blog

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

NASA advertising "do you want to be an astronaut" to tumblr users surely means something. What have you found out there, NASA? What have you found that you believe tumblr users, specifically, are best equipped to handle?

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

*opens the oven after preheating to 400*

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

>be born

>try to be a "good person"

>morality is determined by social actors with their own motivations and access to power

>goodness is merely a shifting social approximation with no precise center or meaning

>still try to be a "good person"

>get punished anyways

>die

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

Why is this heat so hot 😩

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

‘full movie watch free online’ was in the early 21st century a kind of prayer

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

As someone who has actually studied the English language there's a common phrase about English that kinda annoys me because while it makes for a funny haha line it's such a gross oversimplification that it actually ceases to be funny. It's the one that goes "The English language is just three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat" or something to that effect.

I'm not going to go into detail as to why that sentence is inaccurate, just take my word for it as a person with a master's in English. I suggest we withdraw this expression from usage and replace it with the much more accurate "The English language is a dirty little slut that loves it when other languages cum big loads in it"