biandwannadi - Tumblr blog

[biandwannadi]

I feel like writing again.

I'm in such a pleasant mood. It's been rainy/raining for days. It's been so relaxing. I missed the rain SO MUCH.

I also just figured out you can change the type setting on this. How fun!

I'm still really worried about finding a way to continue my meds and therapy. But it feels really nice to be in a legitimately calm place for a change and I want to savor it.

There's not a lot of room in our new apartment, at least not yet. We have a bunch of broken things from the move. There are still boxes that I have to get back to storage. So I don't have anywhere to put a lot of my houseplants. :|

But on the other hand, its kinda got me even more excited for the cuttings I have in propagation jars. There's one that I got from a random tourist trap restaurant. It's doing so well! There are so many roots and leaves. I'll make a post for it specifically.

Now I'm gonna go watch adventure time. :)

[biandwannadi]

I think I need to write again. So I made this.

I had a blog when I was a teenager. It helped a lot, so I'm going to try it again now that I'm older. I almost wish I could find the old one and compare the two, but I feel like my self esteem is already low enough, haha.

It's 01:12. I can't sleep. I'm looking at the list of therapists in my area, and writing down the names of the ones who don't look completely useless. There's not a really good reason why....I guess just to feel like I'm doing something to help myself. It's not like even if I found one I would be able to make an appointment or anything, what with the Apocalypse and everything...but maybe I'll be able to use this list later.

I don't even really want a therapist. I want to find like an outpatient group therapy program or something. I feel like I need to hear more than my own perspective. It's like...I need a single-serving crowd that I can disappear into. I'm kinda worried that I'm just on a wild goose chase and I've got this idea on a pedestal and I'll never be happy because I'll just keep my ideas or goals out of reach for myself.