bigllama44813-blog

[bigllama44813-blog]

#MeToo

My name is not important. I dont care if you read this and think its bull. I had to get it out. When I was 5, my brother would hug me. That's not unnatural, right? Until he started to touch me. He was 12 at the time, and he had gotten raped about a year ago. My oldest sister was raped, and then raped my brother. He never got counseling, they didnt do anything for him. I do not even know if we went to court, I just remember her moving out. He would touch me as often as possible. Even simple things, like holding my hand to help me down the steps. I didnt think it was weird. Who would? But then he woke me up in the middle of the night. I can't remember the day, or week, or month. And he touched me. I didnt know it was wrong. I was 5. I let him. He didnt hurt me, so why did It matter? (He was so nice to me. Said the pain would only last for a little bit) Skip ahead a few years. I'm nine now, we had a family reunion at our house, and my brother told me to go to his room. I obliged, of course. I walked in, and all of my older cousins walked in and blocked the door. I dont really remember what they were talking about until my brother told them he was touching me. They didnt do anything, in fact they praised him, saying he had it right to get them young. He was about 16 by now. He would bring me to his room every night. I remember one time my dad woke up and came to check up on us. I acted like I had a nightmare, my brother told me to do so. My dad told me to get to bed. I lay back down in my room with my sister ( not my oldest sister, mind you) When I hear noises. I remember looking into my brothers room and seeing him watch porn. I was so fascinated. Who knew they made videos of what me and brother did? My brother told me that every night he was not there, to touch myself so I could stay prepared for him. I couldnt say no. Sometimes he would randomly ask if I did, but of course I did. I didnt want to disappoint my favorite brother!! I remember when we finally got caught. I was eleven. ELEVEN. SIX YEARS OF GETTING RAPED. At that point, we were learning about sex in school, and I was finally starting to get the hint that I shouldn't be doing this. We were at my mom's, and he was trying to insert it, but it was painful and I yelled out. My mom was right down the stairs and heard it, and I got up, we could hear her coming up halfway up the stairs. She paused to listen, and I opened the door, and she looked at me. I guess she could tell, because my shorts were on wrong or something? I dont really know. She comes rushing up the stairs and slams the door open, and slaps my brother. I remember him getting tears in his eyes, and I wanted so badly to wipe his tears for him. I was-no, am fucked up. I had to go to the hospital to see if I was pregnant, or had any STIs. I didnt, luckily. We went to court, and my mom said it was best if I stayed home and didnt come to the trial. When they finally got the verdict, i was ashamed. He didnt get into much trouble. He had to live with the other parent, never in the same house as I. That's it. I was raped. Physically. Mentally. He fucked me up. Yet all he got was a slap on the wrists, and the worst part, he blamed me. I had therapy for it, for about half a year before we didnt have enough money for it. I am fucked up in the head because of it, and I can't even get counseling for it, because we are too poor. I'm eighteen now, but I still have trauma from it. He still lives with my dad and whenever I go to my dads I see him. I get flashbacks from it and get depressed. It hurts. It hurts even worse to see my mom and dad hurt about not seeing it sooner. It's not their fault. No one but the rapists. The rapist who raped my older sister, when she raped my brother, to when he raped me FOR YEARS. He got out of jail- the one who raped my oldest sister - and soon after, about a year or so, died of asphyxiation in the shower. It was my biological grandpa. My family is fucked up. I know. Literally everyone in my close relatives have been raped. My mom, my dad, my sisters, my brother. All of us. Tape is fucked up and left me fucked up. I'm addicted to sex now. I cut myself. I had anorexia. I gained too much weight from binge eating. I'm fucked up. I dont think I should be alive. I'm not going to kill myself. I have friends, family. An incredible boyfriend. But it still lurks in the back of my head. I'm still in pain. And he only got a slap on the wrists. Thanks, America.

[bigllama44813-blog]

Is she cheating?

Two females are dating, living together with a son (nickname jerry)and daughter(me). One a blonde(nickname ma), another a brunette(nickname not step mom). Two years after they get together, a guy knocks on the door (scaring the shit out of the daughter)at 5 in the morning. The mother gets mad (blondie). Kicks him out of her lawn. Forward about 2 weeks, they go to the fair, and see the brunette with the same man, with her friends daughter (gonna nickname sarah). She said she was going to just hang with sarah. Okay, ma gets a little upset. Huge fight ensues. Fast forward a month afterward that. Ma gets suspicious, asks to see the messages in her phone. Not step mom says no, and goes crazy, crying and yelling about how she shouldn’t have to do that. Ma tries to calm her down, saying that she just wants to see the messages. Not step mom continues on, saying how ‘EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP I SCREW IT UP, I GET TREATED LIKE SHIT…“ BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Is she trying to guilt trip her?

Do you think she’s cheating?

I’m just curious lol.

[bigllama44813-blog]

Oh yes, Let's just forget about impending death, look at this new lipstick color!

- Some millennial , probably.