bigphatyikes

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hi yes i love you all so much and i hope 2018 is better and brighter for you all 💞

Xiu is me appreciating and loving you all (and Junmyeon haha) anyways!!!! This year has been super rough, 2017 has had it’s ups and downs and I just want to say thank you to all of you for brightening up my dash and my life!!!! I’ve made some incredible friends this year and I’m so grateful to you. Thank you for making me smile, I wish you guys nothing but happiness for the future, and I love you all so so SO much!!!!!

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“I can’t cry all I want or even laugh all I want

At the end of a tiring day but still, if I’m next to you

Like a child, I can whine and then laugh till I run out of breath

I’m not used to seeing myself like this

You did a good job today, you worked so hard

You are my prize”

END OF A DAY (2015)

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Nobody knows what these idols are going through in their lives.

We only see what they put out to the public, many idols could be suffering in silence, shouldn’t this be a lesson?

We don’t know hardly anything about these idols underneath the surface. Your words hurt them too.

As someone who is struggling with depressions, let me tell you something, you can’t tell the voices in your head go away, you can’t just ‘get over it’. Every day is a daily battle to stay alive, the tiniest thing can trigger the voices in your head telling you that you should kill yourself.

Jonghyun was so talented, an amazing performer, a great role model to many, he helped so many people without even releasing it. He supported the LGBTQ community, he fought for what he believed in.

At 9am this morning I was crying happy tears over a couple getting married and now since 12pm I have been crying over a death of a guy who helped me in my darkest of times.

For those saying “SM haven’t confirmed”. They are probably grieving too, they have lost a member of their family. His sister has confirmed it along with the police, that is all the confirmation you need. Let everybody grieve, respect their privacy.

Don’t expect Shinee to be doing variety’s or being active in the public at this time, they have lost their brother

Please, don’t struggle in silence, talk to someone, whether it be online or a friend or family member.

For anyone feeling suicidal or is extremely distressed by this situation my ask box and messages are open, I will reblog helplines for you all to contact if you need them.

Please, be kind, everyone you come across has a story and you may never what they have or are going through. It shouldn’t take a death to unite us, we should already me united as fandoms in giving our idols a place they can feel safe and loved.

Respect everyone grieving right now.

Rest In Peace Jonghyun, we will never forget you.

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REBLOG IF IT’S OKAY FOR PEOPLE TO SLIP INTO YOUR MESSAGES TO TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEMS THAT THEY ARE FACING AND THAT YOU’RE WILLING TO HELP AND SUPPORT THEM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

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some jonghyun moments i never want to forget

standing up for lgbt students and minorities at large by amplifying their voices, but doing so respectfully (dec 2013)

reflecting on his appreciation for hero movies… ‘i have to protect my world’ (mar 2013)

receiving boxes of listerine after a joke comparing his deja-boo suit colors to listerine flavors went viral, during base promotions (feb 2015)

comforting a fan who was self-conscious about her name with a handwritten note at a shinee fansign (may 2015)

going to comfort a crying key during shinee’s concert at tokyo dome, but ending up crying himself (early 2015)

speaking playfully with a male listener on blue night radio (may 2015)

mentioning his gratitude for fans and listeners in creating a safe space with blue night radio (july 2015)

discussing his conversation with taemin about “gender roles, prejudices and negative views about artists, etc.” when writing pretty boy for taemin ft. kai on blue night radio  (aug 2015)

personally supporting radio guest baek young ok on blue night radio in her efforts to bring sanitary pads to low-income girls (mar 2017)

there are so many more moments to include but i wanted to hold onto these for sure. jonghyun, you were a celebrity like no other. i cant imagine a world without you. i wish you’d gotten to known how many hearts and minds you touched with your voice, your songwriting, and just by being yourself.

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SM deleted all artist’s schedules. They didn’t release anything official but their entire schedule for the week has been removed.

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to an angel

thank for everything you’ve done, Kim Jonghyun. you and your music has helped me through hard times and kept me in high spirits. your smile lights up the entire universe, and i hope you can smile more now. i’m sorry we couldn’t help you, and i’m sorry you felt alone. i hope you’re happier now, i hope you can be eternally happy now. i love you. shawols love you. SHINee loves you. your family loves you. your friends love you. roo loves you. i hope for your eternal laughs and genuine smiles.

i send all my condolences to Jonghyun’s family and friends.

shawols, it’ll be okay.

let’s all take a break from fighting and all the vicious cruelty and just all come together to grieve the loss of a very special, incredibly talented person.

list of suicide hotlines: https://twitter.com/cutekjdpics/status/942709748620599296

other US hotlines (please please search for these hotlines for your area): https://twitter.com/day6intl/status/942719881689968645

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171218 Luhan Weibo Update: (regarding SHINee Jonghyun’s death) Can’t believe it. Rest in peace, the best lead vocal 🙏🙏🙏🕯️🕯️🕯️

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Good night, Sweet Prince❤

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It’s a sad day today. A part of me still hopes its a misreporting and that he is fine and well but the rational part of me is saying that he did indeed pass.

There’s nothing to say but to wish his family, friends and loved ones condolences and for them to stay strong and for all who love him to always remember him as the lovable person he is.

I sincerely hope the investigation is done properly to give an answer to his closed ones. They don’t even have to report it publicly. I just hope they do the investigation and his passing justice, figure out what happened and the cause and think of ways to prevent another horrible incident from happening.

I really wish his friends and family aren’t too hard on themselves. Suicides are one of the worst ways to go. It not only breaks their own soul, it breaks all those who love them as well. 

May he rest in peace.

To all those out there with lingering dark thoughts now, I wish to remind you that there is always hope and light around you. Please seek help immediately should you feel even the slightest intention of self-harm or suicide. Help is always there waiting for you, ready to accept and aid you to have a better life. Please do not choose to just end life. Life is precious, cherish your life, your family, and loved ones as well as those who love you.

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jonghyun: is there anyone, from our blue night family, that is crying alone?

not crying of pity, but asking, “why am i living like this?” is there anyone that is feeling uselessly sentimental and guilty? 

don’t be like that. i hope you think those bitter days of crying alone are the most beautiful days of your life. you’ll realize with time that your life is actually, pretty alright. i promise you. i’ll write you a guarantee! 

the most beautiful thing in the world is right now, this moment, you. don’t ever forget. 

today’s closing song is boohwal’s “friend, do you know? (친구야, 너는 아니?). until now, it has been blue night, this is jonghyun.  

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to everyone startled by the news of jonghyun

please remember jonghyun for what he is and not for what he did.

please remember him for the laughter and the smiles he brought forth.

please remember him for his musicality and his persistent hard work.

and please, please remember that he wouldn’t have wanted the same fate on you.

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jonghyun + dazed + boontheshop = 좋아♡ ♡ 160525 © i’m sorry (do not edit or remove logo)

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this is the same man who has talked about mental health issues. he has spoken out loud about suicide and bullying. idk whether to take him stepping up as a call for help or what but all i know is that mental health is still such a touchy issue in korea and no one ever comes out and says they have an issue. and it pisses me off cause to think that maybe he did need help but couldn’t get any cause of a stigma against it is just so disgusting.

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i’m the one

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did i ever tell y’all how much i love pentagon like honestly seeing them just makes me warm because they are all such soft cuddly souls [except edawn is a bit wild sometimes] and they’re just so WHOLESOME and not to mention literally half the frikin group can produce amazingly and they’re honestly one of the most well rounded groups out there, if not the Most, and they have BOPS stan pentagon thank u

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binch!! EXO RV WANNA ONE SUNMI TWICE AND IOI ARE PERFORMING ON DAY 2????? just end me now why don’t you @mnet