biiedwin8

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Does Daydreaming Protect Your Mental Health?

Today, I'll be explaining the concept shared on platforms like Facebook or Instagram, where researchers claim that daydreaming protects your mental health. So, does daydreaming really protect your mental health, especially when it becomes a habitual behavior? Actually, yes, in some sense, your habit of daydreaming can protect you from facing certain issues or deep emotions within yourself.

It often starts with daydreaming serving as a refuge from painful emotions. For instance, as a child, if you were bullied or felt unheard, retreating into your imagination might have provided solace. This imaginative escape can offer a sense of safety and relief from overwhelming experiences, thereby protecting your mental health.

However, when something shields us from confronting deep-seated pain, it can easily become a habit. The mind becomes accustomed to this coping mechanism, and it evolves into an adaptive behavior. Initially, it served to help you survive in a toxic or painful environment. But as you grow older, this survival mechanism may persist without evolving alongside you, leading to addictive tendencies.

Yet, true growth involves not only letting go of past traumas but also addressing the underlying issues that hold you back, such as negative beliefs or subconscious patterns formed from past negative experiences. By working through these issues, you can grow emotionally and heal on a deeper level.

While daydreaming may have protected you from facing certain painful realities in the past, it doesn't necessarily contribute to your mental health in the present moment. In fact, it may even make your life more challenging. Thus, it's crucial to work on addressing unresolved issues and emotional wounds to achieve a better state of mental health.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Does Addiction to Daydreaming Just Stop?

Today, I'll be explaining whether it's really a good idea to wait for your real life to get better as a way to handle dreaming more. I saw someone sharing this on Instagram, like, 'Hey, it's okay, just stop or just wait for your real life to get better and then it will stop.'

Actually, it may seem like very innocent advice, but the thing is, it's not about stopping or waiting. It's more about working on your real life. There's a very good difference between waiting for it to get better and actively doing something to make it better.

When you wait for something to get better, it will never improve, of course, and you'll end up feeling frustrated by the fact that it's not improving. And when you become frustrated, you get sucked back into your comfort zone, temporary relief, or your safe haven, which may be your imaginary world. So, when you get sucked back into it, it means that nothing in your real life will improve, and you'll also waste a lot of time in this imaginary world instead of taking meaningful actions to improve your life.

So, it's not about waiting for your life to get better; it's about taking steps to make your real life better. Just start with small steps, don't even begin with big changes like moving out. Just simple steps like addressing your loneliness, being more responsible today, facing things you've been avoiding in your real life, or taking care of yourself. These small actions will enable you to overcome daydreaming or improve the quality of your real life to the point where you don't feel the need to escape into an imaginary world because your life is worth cherishing, amazing, and filled with anticipation for the future.

The point is, don't wait; take action to make your real life better. I hope you found that informative, guys. So, no waiting, do something!

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: When You’re Daydreaming Excessively in Your Workplace

Today, I'll be explaining a scenario where you find yourself daydreaming at your workplace, especially when you're having a hard time with your customers or your boss. You may wonder why this happens. Actually, the main reason is that you are not used to handling stress. You've always escaped stressful situations in life, even simple stress, by going to an imaginary world or seeking temporary relief.

What mostly happens with stress is that we build resilience against it. For instance, when you face a stressful instance and manage to handle it, you develop the inner belief that you can handle similar situations in the future. Now, in your workplace, because you've been avoiding stress so much, you develop the belief that you are unable to deal with it. When you develop this belief, even small stressful situations may seem insurmountable to you. For example, completing or sending an email to a customer, which logically should only take two minutes, may seem overwhelming because you lack confidence in yourself.

When something seems like a daunting task, you resort to your coping mechanism. That's why you may find yourself daydreaming in your workplace when you're swamped with a lot of work or just not feeling like working. Whether you're working from home, your workplace, or an office setting, as long as you haven't built resilience towards handling stress, you'll always fall back on your coping mechanism.

Other people's coping mechanisms may involve smoking during their lunch break or having a shot of whiskey. Yes, a day is full of small stressors, but when you're not used to handling them, you'll always look for a way to cope. That's why small daily stressors, like customers being unhappy with your product or your boss yelling at you, can lead you to immerse yourself in an imaginary world to escape from the stress.

This may even lead to losing your job because the workplace is where you deal with a lot of people and stress is normal. If you're unable to handle it to the point where people perceive you as unproductive or unable to handle work pressure, you might get fired or miss out on promotions. That's why it's essential to work on underlying issues, such as building yourself up to handle pressure or not internalizing work pressure. The ultimate goal is not to internalize it; it's just work pressure. But if you do find yourself internalizing it, recognize that it's feeding you the idea that it's too much for you, and then you resort to your coping mechanism of choice, which, in your case, is maladaptive daydreaming.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming- When You Feel Your Imaginary World Is So Special To You

Today, I'll be answering a very interesting question. I saw someone say that actually, their daydreaming is so special to them. It's not just one person; I've been reading that a lot in forums. Like, it's so special to me that I cannot leave it.

So, why do you feel that? Actually, it's a very, very normal thing to feel or to think that your daydreams are special. You might really tell yourself that your daydreams are special and they reveal things in your life, and you can't really let it go, and they are so unique to you. Yes, they are unique because you are a unique individual. You have unique interests, unique passions, unique conditioning; you've been raised uniquely.

So, of course, yours will be different. But that is not really the problem. The problem is you are holding onto an illusion. It's not because it's making you unique or they're unique to you. You are holding onto them because you are attached to them. You are attached to your imaginary world because it's helped you in the past. It's helped you through some of the emotions or some of the loneliness you've experienced, let's say, when you were young or even as an adult.

It helped you through the anxiety you are not able to manage or just all those uncomfortable emotions that you weren't able to manage. So, because it helped you, you feel attached to it. You feel that actually, I can't let this go; it's so special to me. And what happens now, your mind, because your mind always wants to keep you stuck where you are, it doesn't want you to change.

Like, the mind cannot say, "Let's change." No, it's up to you to really push yourself to get this change. But because the mind wants to keep you stuck in the familiar zone, it will come up with a lot of reasons. One of those reasons now is like, "My daydreams are very unique to me, and they are very special to me." So, don't let your addiction keep you where you are by coming up with all those things or all those words just so that you can stay where you are. The only thing which you need to understand is you are in pain. It's not in the daydreaming, and it's not in how special it is.

No, it is in the pain you are experiencing. And when you get attached to something, that's the pain now. So, when you deal with this attachment, which is now dealing with the pain that is keeping you attached to this imaginary world, you are able to grow and be free.

It's like a donkey being tied to a post, and then the donkey says, "Hey, this post is just so special to me. I don't know what it is, but I feel that it has a message." But actually, there's nothing. It's because the donkey is used to the comfortability of grazing around the pole. But now, once you really untie yourself from the pole, you're able to realize that actually, there's life out there for you to explore.

There are a lot of experiences for you to enjoy, to explore. There are a lot of hobbies you can try. There are a lot of things you can do in life and not just cling to an imaginary world. Your clinging is because your mind wants to keep you stuck in the comfort of familiar pain, like it's a familiar spot. So, you want to stay there and just call it special. So, deal with the pain, break the attachment, and then you'll be free.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Why Does It Hurt When You Stop Your Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Today, I'll be answering this question: Why does it hurt when you stop adaptive daydreaming? Let's say you've been doing this for a very, very long time. You've been addicted for a very long time, and then suddenly you stop doing it. Let's say you find a strategy, then you stop doing it. Then, after some time, you are doing okay, and then you realize that actually, it hurts more than when you're having these daydreams. Actually, when you stop daydreaming, in itself, without really focusing on improving the quality of your life, it will hurt.

A coping mechanism is something that protects you from seeing the hurt which is already there. Like, you are already hurt. The fact that you are addicted to a behavior means that you are hurt on a deeper level. You are carrying a lot of emotional pain, a lot of unhealed wounds from the past that you never really processed. It's like you're holding your tears back.

So, what happens is when you remove this coping mechanism, it's like removing a bandage from an unhealed wound. What will happen? You'll feel a lot of pain. You'll feel a lot of pain to the point where you want the bandage back. That's why sometimes it can hurt so much to stop daydreaming. And that's also the reason why you need to realize that it was not the problem right from the start. It has never been a problem. Your daydreaming has never been the problem.

The problem is the wound which this daydreaming is covering, like the stuff in your basement, the fears of rejection, the feelings of abandonment, the feelings of being neglected, like all those emotions which are now deep inside you, the low self-esteem, the low self-worth. So, the daydreaming now comes along and covers it for you for a very, very long time. So, when you stop it, it means that you are seeing the hurt which was already there. It's not something new.

So, you do mistake this hurt as something new, like as a result of stopping the dream. No, it's not as a result of stopping. Stopping uncovered it or showed it to you. It's like when you've been living in a friend's place for a very long time, and you've never really cleaned your house. So, when you leave the friend's place and go back to your house, you'll now be able to see the dirt in your house. That's the same thing. You are stopping something which was keeping you safe or keeping you from seeing what's really happening deep inside. And it's a very good place to be when you are really feeling hurt because of the lack of the coping mechanism. It's a very good place to be because you can now take the steps to clean your room or take the steps to work on the pain or to process the pain.

But what I see most people doing is wanting the daydreaming back instead of now acknowledging that actually I had that daydreaming in the past and it offered me temporary relief. But even if I go back, the pain or the wound will still come back to haunt me. So, instead of me now going back to the addictive behavior, let me now finally seek help to deal with this stuff because I don't really know what's bothering me. I don't really know what's causing this addiction.

But all I know is I'm in a lot of pain, and daydreaming may offer me temporary relief, but still, it doesn't really take the pain away permanently. So, seek help to clean the wound or seek help to clean your room, and then you'll be able to realize that actually you don't really need a coping mechanism for something which can be healed or something which can be dealt with. That's what deep healing is all about. It's not about escaping or looking for other coping mechanisms. It's understanding that this pain needs to be washed, disinfected, and processed.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: When Your Daydreams Help You Avoid Shitty Reality?

Today, I'll be answering this question: What do you really need to do when your daydreams are helping you escape the shitty reality? By "shitty reality," I refer to someone who mentioned that daydreaming is helping them escape the messes in real life.

They're not thriving in their career, their relationships are a mess, and they're lonely. So, everything is just a mess in most aspects of their life. It's helping them escape reality. So, when you really see it that way, you see daydreaming as a good thing. You see the addiction as something that is good for you or something that is helping you escape or helping you avoid facing the truth.

While there's no problem with that, actually, the problem arises when it gets to the point where the things you are escaping from in the shitty reality catch up with you. Because the more you escape from a shitty reality, the shittier it becomes. So, the more you escape from the messes of real life, the more you escape from the responsibilities of real life, the more you escape from your emotions, from your uncomfortable emotions, the more these uncomfortable emotions become more uncomfortable. So, there's no way out actually apart from working on this.

It can help you escape, yes, but you cannot escape forever. That's now the double bind of all this. Like you can escape reality and feel good today, tomorrow, but every time you snap back from that daydream, it can be escaping it for four to five hours, but every time you come back from the daydream, you still have to face the same things you are escaping from. And the more you escape, the more these things pile up. It gets to the point where you can't escape anymore. It gets to the point where now the thing you are escaping to doesn't even want you there anymore.

That's how the mind works. Like the thing you are escaping to, the daydreaming universe, now doesn't even want you anymore, and it ends up now having this negative vibe. Like the place you're escaping to ends up becoming a mess, and now that's the point where many people want to stop daydreaming because it's not enjoyable anymore. It's not even an escape anymore. It doesn't help because it lost its effectiveness.

It's been making someone's life miserable. So, the moment you realize that you're escaping from reality, that's the best time actually to catch yourself and just start facing the things you're escaping from. It's not hard to face these things, but the more you do it, the more you escape. Initially, it will be enjoyable to escape, but the more you escape, the more it becomes hard for you.

So, the only way to deal with the shitty reality is not really escaping or looking for something else to distract you from it, like overworking yourself or keeping yourself busy. No, the only way is to face it.

Face those fears one by one, take that one step at a time, process your emotions, feel your emotions, and slowly, by slowly, you realize that actually reality can be enjoyable as your daydream or even much better because now you're not escaping it. Like you can realize that you will get to the point where you just feel at peace even when you've not done anything at all because you are willing to do the uncomfortable work. So, don't escape the shitty reality or don't use dreaming as a way to escape the shitty reality, but instead, face the reality you're in.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: When You Achieve Your Goals in Your Imaginary World?

Today, I'll be delving into the concept of the depressing fact of achieving everything in your daydreams and not in your actual life. For many daydreamers, the allure lies in escaping real-life challenges and responsibilities. Instead of facing the daunting tasks of pursuing goals or dealing with life's complexities, they create elaborate scenarios in their heads where they achieve success, fulfillment, and happiness.

In these daydreams, they may envision themselves reaching career milestones, becoming top executives in imaginary companies, or having ideal relationships where they're never betrayed and always supported. This imaginary world becomes a refuge from the harsh realities of life. However, the problem arises when the investment in this fantasy world becomes excessive, overshadowing real-life endeavors.

As daydreamers immerse themselves in their fantasies, they begin to believe they've achieved something significant. Yet, when they return to reality, they're confronted with the stark contrast between their daydreams and their actual lives. Real-life relationships may be lacking, familial support may be absent, and personal achievements may remain unfulfilled. This stark contrast can lead to feelings of depression and frustration.

The key to mitigating this distress is to avoid comparing the imaginary world with reality. It's essential not to allow oneself to dwell on the discrepancies between the two. Instead, focus on taking small steps in real life, even if they seem trivial. Celebrate the little victories, like simply brushing your teeth, and be grateful for them. Understand that real life doesn't always align with the fantasies created in your mind.

By acknowledging the distinction between imagination and reality, you can alleviate the pressure you place on yourself. Remember, progress in real life may be gradual and imperfect, but it's still progress. Avoid the trap of wanting instant fulfillment of your daydreams in reality, as this mindset only leads to stress and inaction.

In conclusion, understanding the difference between your imaginary world and real life can help ease feelings of disappointment and self-criticism. Embrace the journey of real-life progress, no matter how slow or challenging it may seem.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Is It Normal to Use Daydreaming As A Coping Mechanism?

Today, I'll be addressing the question: Is it normal to use daydreaming as a coping mechanism? Let's first understand what a coping mechanism is. A coping mechanism is something you use to keep yourself safe from a hurtful circumstance. This hurtful circumstance is often emotional—it could be loneliness, feeling abandoned, not being heard, or even being bullied or abused. When we choose a coping mechanism, we tend to pick something that is close to us or readily available. For example, if alcohol is prevalent in your family, you might turn to alcohol. If you spend a lot of time on the internet, you might develop an addiction to it. If you enjoy gaming, you might lean towards that. Coping mechanisms are typically pleasurable activities because they provide a sense of comfort and relief from distressing emotions.

Now, daydreaming is a coping mechanism that some individuals naturally gravitate towards, especially if they have an innate ability to create imaginary worlds or daydream intensively. When stressed and unable to cope with real-life emotions, daydreaming becomes a way to escape. This can lead to maladaptive daydreaming. So, it's normal for someone with this capacity to choose daydreaming as a coping mechanism.

However, just because it's common doesn't mean it's a good coping mechanism. There's a distinction between something being normal and being beneficial. Daydreaming may help you cope temporarily, but it doesn't address the underlying issues that need healing. Whether it's loneliness, fear of abandonment, approval-seeking behavior, or feelings of inadequacy, these are the issues that require attention and resolution. Once you work through these underlying issues, you'll find that you no longer need the coping mechanism.

Understanding that daydreaming is a coping mechanism and recognizing the need to address the root causes is crucial. It's not about being weird or different—it's about coping with something that needs healing. By confronting and processing these emotions, you can improve your life and reduce the reliance on daydreaming as a coping mechanism. Hope that clarifies things. Remember, there's a path to healing once you understand why you're coping in the first place.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

How to Start Your Life After Overcoming Your Addiction to Daydreaming

Today I'll be answering the question of how you can start your life again once you've recovered from that. It's a very interesting question for those who have really managed to overcome this addictive behavior. Because you've neglected your life for a very long time—let's say you dropped out of school, you're living in your parents' basement, you don't have any friends—your life is just a mess.

But finally, you've managed to stop daydreaming, and it's not a problem for you anymore. Whether you're doing meditation, journaling, or some other practice that's helping you out, now you're back to real life. But because you've gotten so used to an imaginary world, you're feeling anxious about real life itself. Yes, you're not feeling anxious, but now you are just anxious because you don't really know how to live in the real world. In some sense, you've gotten used to a life where everything is free, you are in control of everything, there's no betrayal, no letdowns—it's just an amazing and pleasurable world. Now, coming back to real life, what do you need to do?

Actually, the best place to start is not really looking for friends or looking for others. The best place is for you to understand yourself. It's not really about looking for the things you missed out on, like friendship or focusing on your career. Yes, those will come later on, but for now, understand yourself. By understanding yourself, I mean understanding your boundaries—understanding how people are supposed to treat you and what are the non-negotiables for your life. What do you really want for yourself?

How are other people supposed to treat you, or how are you supposed to treat others? What is the level of acceptable behavior from others? By understanding yourself on a deeper level—your values, your interests—you will know the next step for you. You will know the top priority for you because once you understand yourself, you can now prioritize the things you want to focus on. For example, if you're broke, of course, you cannot prioritize looking for hobbies. The best thing to do is to look for a job. If you don't have friends, of course, you cannot prioritize hobbies or other things before getting those friends.

Once you really understand yourself, you're now able to prioritize the things you want to do in life. Also, because you're still new to real life, take things slowly. Take a step at a time and understand that in real life, you may be betrayed, and people may do bad things to you. But that's what real life is. When you really understand yourself, when you understand your boundaries, it means that you know what it takes when other people try to exploit you or hurt you.

So take it easy and take it slowly to ease yourself back into real life. Don't rush or bite off more than you can chew by trying to do everything at once. For example, if you stopped daydreaming a month ago, now you want to get married this month, get that top job, pursue hobbies, and travel the world—take one step at a time and ease yourself in. Because the more you ease yourself in, the more you're building this capacity or belief in yourself.

Hope you found that informative, guys. If you've really managed to stop, all the best in your journey in real life. Real life is a bit challenging sometimes, but it really helps you to grow.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Hard On Yourself When You Make Mistakes As A Maladaptive Daydreamer?

Today, I'll be answering this question: Why is it that you dwell on the small mistakes as an addict? Like you make a small mistake in life and then you dwell on it so much, you overanalyze it, you become hard on yourself, you beat yourself up. It is just a small, common mistake. Is it because of you or because of something else?

Actually, it's not because of the mistake that you dwell on the small mistakes; it's just because you are hard on yourself as a person. When you have an addictive behavior, it's mostly fueled by underlying issues or by issues which are stuck in the subconscious part of your mind. And because you've tried stopping this thing, you've tried stopping this habit, and you know it's negatively affecting your life because you've tried it and failed, so your mind will always pin you down as the problem. Your mind will always find a way to blame you as the cause of it.

So that's why even the smallest thing you do in life, your mind will blame you because you've gotten used to blaming yourself for the uncontrollable aspects of your life. You can't control your daydreaming, then now you go to work, you make a mistake, and you start self-loathing or being in this cycle of self-hatred because there's an element in your life which you cannot control. And when you cannot control something in your life, you'll always think that maybe you are the problem. So, it's still part of this blame. So actually, most people who struggle with any addictive behavior, they'll always be in the cycle of self-blame. Self-blame is this instance where you are blaming yourself for every small thing in your life, even things which you can't control.

It can be the weather, then you're like, 'Ah, the weather is gloomy today because I did that.' That's the same thing with mistakes. You make a small mistake even if the mistake was not out of your own doing, like it was someone else's doing, you always find a way to pin yourself as the one who always does this because it's become a pattern. It's become a toxic pattern for you. That's why you are addicted to this behavior. When you're addicted to something and you can't stop it, it becomes a pattern where you are stuck in a toxic behavior.

You know that daydreaming is toxic to you; it's affecting your life and you can't stop it. But because you've gotten used to this environment, the mind will always view everything you do as you being the problem. So you go so hard on yourself because of the small mistakes you make, not because of the daydreaming, but because of the underlying issues which are now the toxic stuff or the negativity you are carrying inside you, which is wanting to pin you down as the problem.

So go easy on yourself and understand that this daydreaming, even if you manage to stop the daydreaming itself, it doesn't also mean that you will stop criticizing yourself. You think that it's the daydreaming, but it's not the daydreaming; it's the underlying issue you've not worked on. And once you work on those underlying issues, you will come to the point where you become more kind to yourself because you're releasing all the negativity and allowing other positive things to happen in your life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: How Do You Stop Maladaptive Daydreaming When Your Life Is Not Satisfying?

Today, I'll be answering this question: How do you really stop daydreaming when real life is not as satisfying? This is a very interesting question because it's that realization where life in daydreaming or life in the imaginary world is so amazing. You may be having control, great relationships, money, good friends, just things going in your imaginary world, and it's very okay. But now, in your real life, poor relationships, you feel bad about yourself, you feel that you have no value, you feel that you have low self-esteem; in your real life, things are not going well.

You have a job you don't enjoy, maybe you're working in some company where you don't even have a good working environment, you don't have good relationships with your colleagues. So, you are just in this real life where everything is just a mess. Not everything, of course, but most things are a mess. And then you want to stop. So, of course, you will face a challenge in wanting to stop because it's not satisfying, even if you stop; real life is not satisfying. So why stop it?

Because you're now comparing the beauty of the imaginary world, the freedom of the imaginary world, and the lack of freedom in this real world. So you're like, why? How do you really stop when life is unsatisfying? Actually, real life is not satisfying not because of the daydream, no, because you've neglected it. You've been building this imaginary world for a very long time, ever since you were an immersive daydreamer, like a normal daydreamer. But as a result of you building this world, you neglected real life. You neglected your real life, which is you working on yourself, you working on your confidence, you working on your social skills, you facing betrayal, you facing your fears, you understanding boundaries, you understanding that in the real world there's good and bad, something like that. Or in the real world, you may experience both sides; you may be betrayed sometimes, but sometimes you may not be betrayed. You may have good friends, you may also have a bad job, but that doesn't mean that it's the end for you.

It should just mean that maybe you need to work on something, on your skills. But how can you work on your skills when you are spending most of your time, like four to five hours a day, in an imaginary world? So, that comparison of like, how can you stop when real life is not satisfying, is not where the answer is. It's more of like, what happened in real life that made it not satisfying? That's where you get to understand the source of the addiction. So you get addicted to a pleasurable behavior because you escaped the painful aspects of life. So if you keep doing that, real life, if you keep doing that, there will always be this distance between the satisfaction of real life and the imaginary world. So instead of you thinking about stopping and then living in a dissatisfying life, just focus on how can you improve the quality of your real life.

That's where the solution is. It's not really in the stopping; it's improving the quality of your life. Because if your real life was something which was something to live up to, like you having a better job, you're having good friends, you're having boundaries, you understand yourself, you are seeing life challenges as more of things to overcome, it will mean that you'll be excited to live in the real world, not even looking at stopping. So don't focus on stopping; focus on improving the quality of your real life. And that at least will ease, will help you ease yourself into this real world.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Does Talking to People Ease Your Addiction to Daydreaming?

Today, I'll be answering this question: Does talking to people help with managing your M? You're doing I saw this on where someone say that actually I found the cure for MDD. It's talking to people. It's working for me. And at least in that same thread, I read some that actually when I talk to people, I did dream more. I did even 10 times more because of my low social skills.

That's a typical forum statement, like a forum kind of solution in a forum kind of counter like a counter of the solution. So what happens is with these solutions of like I did this and this happened, it may work for other people and it may not also work for other people. But how do we really know if something is working? Let's stop there because let's say I try. Let's say I'm addicted to daydreaming or I'm addicted to something else and I try something today. Right, let's say I'm addicted to playing chess and then I try something else today. Let's say I try meditation today. Of course, because I've tried something new today, there's always that initial buzz of trying something new. So that initial will of trying something new, the next day I may play for less hours.

Or I may try for less hours. So, I may try something for just a day and then the next day I'm in a forum sharing people. Hey, I tried meditation for a day and I am now daydreaming less. So because I tried something just for a day and then I just tell people that this is this works, people end up thinking that that is the solution. That's really significant data to analyze. Maybe some other factor in this person's life changed, maybe they changed their environment, maybe they did.

So, we can never really know what helped this person to change their daydreaming tendencies. So, don't really follow along so much with the advice people give you like this, this, this, that. No, just come back to yourself and understand that anything you try to manage daydreaming, like the thing you try to manage daydreaming, just know that you are managing a manifestation of an underlying issue, like you're managing a symptom because daydreaming in itself is a coping mechanism. So if you manage a coping mechanism, you're not still dealing with why are you coping in the first place? Like what led to this coping mechanism?

Like what is it about you that you are addicted to something? Like what made this behavior uncontrollable? That is where the solution is because how can a coping mechanism be nullified by another coping mechanism or another strategy? It would really mean, instead of you looking for a coping mechanism, how about you ask yourself, like what happened in my life that led to this addiction?

You'll realize that you started avoiding a couple of things. You may have started avoiding friends, you may have started avoiding your responsibilities, avoiding your emotions, and now you start going back and now start dealing with the emotions. If it's crying, you cry, if it's talking to people, you talk to people. Like it's more like you're reversing the pattern which led you to this addiction is the same place where healing is. Not another thing, not another external factor. No, it is what you avoided. Once you really overcome what you avoided, which is those deep fears, of course you'll overcome the behavior.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: do your daydreams have meaning?

Today, I'll be answering the question of can daydreams have meaning? Actually, if there's one thing which most people wrestle with so much, especially for is, "I did this in my daydream, does it mean that?"

Also, last year I did this and this happened, so it may... this can be related to also the Clairvoyant kind of daydreams where you do something in the imaginary world and then it happens in real life. So, you end up having these debates back and forth, debates like "My daydreams are these, my daydreams are not realistic." It's all about finding meaning in the context of their daydreams. So, can it have meaning? Actually, yes, it can have meaning.

Same thing as the weather today where I am can have meaning, same thing as the birds flying in the sky, it can have meaning, same thing as something I watch in the news or the music I'm listening to can have meaning. So, anything can have meaning in life, but there's always a key thing in all these meanings: it's you who's interpreting them. It's you who's giving meaning to them. For example, like the birds may fly just above me today, and then I am like, "This means that this would be a good day for me. This means that today I'll get a call from my crush or something." So, it's me putting meaning to something totally unrelated with my life. Same thing, your daydreams. You can daydream about your parents; you can ramble about a cool character, let's say from Naruto or some anime, and then you end up finding meaning for it. But the one who's finding this meaning or who's giving this thing meaning is just you, because someone else may give it a different meaning. Someone else may say that actually, this means that I have to do this.

But it's still about you. So, daydreams can have meanings, but that is not the issue here, because you are the one who gives meaning to it. The issue is the real life. It can have any kind of meaning you want. But what's happening in your real life? Are you happy? Are you satisfied with the addiction? Do you want to stop the addiction? What is this addiction taking from your life? Is this the behavior you want to continue with for the rest of your life?

Do you want to keep analyzing things or keep giving meanings to things, or look at the facts in life? Like, you are suffering from addiction to daydreaming. If you could just manage to look at life from the perspective of you are suffering from addiction to daydreaming, you'll find the solution because you'll not be bogging yourself down. You'll not be analyzing a lot of unnecessary information. You'll just be looking at the feelings you are feeling. Like, "Hey, my anxiety today is unmanageable. What can I do? Maybe I can seek help. Maybe I can just allow myself to feel it. Maybe I can meditate.

Maybe I can just allow myself to feel it. Maybe I can start tracking how I'm feeling and really see if I'm improving. Maybe I can start taking responsibility in my life, like taking care of myself. Maybe I can start eating better. Maybe I can start talking to people. Maybe I can start improving something in my life."

Like, if you could just look at real life from the perspective of, instead of perspective of the feelings you are having or the pain or the emotional pain you are going through, things will be easy for you because the emotional pain is a fact. But giving meaning to things are not facts. It's just you and your biased interpretation because your interpretation of that thing will be biased because that's how you view yourself. Like, you're interpreting things from your own inner belief system.

So, because you're addicted to something, your inner belief system has been distorted. Like, that is the source of the addiction. So, you cannot analyze something and give it meaning which will help you grow from the same thing which is keeping you addicted, which is how you believe about yourself on a deeper level, which are now the underlying issues. So, you are analyzing it from the perspective of your underlying issues. Of course, there's something about you as the mind doesn't want you to change, so it will always try to find meaning to that. And even you end up spending a lot of time debating with people, asking around, even looking for, sometimes people look for dream readers like interpret my daydreams for me. No, what you need to understand is just simplify this thing.

Like, healing is not in understanding a lot of things or being over the moon with the things you didn't, but it's all about looking at your life and looking at the pain you are feeling, the emotions you are experiencing, the anger, the blame, the shame.

That's where you find healing. So, daydreams can have meanings, but you are the one who's giving them meanings. So, the best thing to do instead of looking for meanings of daydreams, look at what you can do to manage your addictive behavior. That's a very, very simple way to look at life.  

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

You overcome your addiction to daydreaming by dealing with what you're coping with #maladaptivedaydreaming

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming- When You're Seriously Attached to Your Imaginary Friends

Why is it that you are seriously attached to your characters in your imaginary world? Like, you are really, really seriously attached, and you don't want to let them go. You think about them all the time. You think about your imaginary friends; it can be your imaginary spouse or just the characters in your imaginary world. Why is it that it happens? Actually, let's first understand attachment. What is attachment?

Attachment is about finding security in something. So, let's come back to real life. In real life, we mostly find security in other people, right? Or in the work we're doing because it's offering us something. Let's say I can find security in my job because it's offering me finances to help me survive. So, we always find security in attachment with things that are helping us survive. It's just one of our survival mechanisms.

Now, for you, you've found security in the imaginary characters in your head. This is because they may have helped you with your loneliness, they may have helped you when you were being bullied, they may have helped you when your parents were not listening to you, they may have helped you in those days when you didn't have friends, or they may be helping you with your lack of social skills.

So, in a way, these imaginary friends or these characters in your imaginary world have come through in your life, have been there for you in instances where real-life people have not been there for you. That's why, of course, you feel seriously attached to them or you feel indebted to them because when someone helps you out, it doesn't matter if it's in your head or in real life, you're still the one who's interpreting.

And when they come through in your life, you end up having this emotional connection. That's normally how relationships happen. You have a conversation with someone, and then after a few days, you feel that actually, you're connected because you're having a back-and-forth conversation with one another. Now, for you, a daydreamer, you end up having this serious attachment because they've been with you for like five years, ten years, and for you, because you go back to the same scene, which means you are going back to the same people.

So, when you go back to the same people for help, for advice, for them to listen to you, of course, you'll get attached to them. So, it's a very, very normal thing to be attached to a character in your head because in your life, they've played a part. They may have played a part when you were young or when you were jobless. They've just played a part in your life, and the people who play a part in our lives, we get attached to them. It can be something. It can be a higher power.

It's the same thing because I'm the one who's being attached. I'm the one who's seeking security from that. But at the center of it all is me. So, don't beat yourself up or don't feel bad about yourself because you are attached to the imaginary friends, but understand that as human beings, we get attached to something which is offering us some sort of security as a survival mechanism.

And it doesn't mean that attachment is a very, very good thing in life, of course. We just have to understand that when you're attached to something, you'll also be afraid of losing it, and that's where the pain begins. It doesn't matter if it's a higher power or a real-life human being or an imaginary friend. The key is that attachment.

That attachment is where the answers are, like when you seek security from something else, of course, the other side may happen because nothing can really offer you that full feeling of security until you really have it on a deeper level. So, you are seriously attached because you have an emotional connection with them, and they've been there for you in some aspect of your life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Maladaptive Daydreaming: When You're Afraid of Losing Your Imaginary Friends.

Today, I'll be answering the question of why you're afraid that your cool characters may die, as if you're afraid of losing your imaginary friends. You're afraid of even stopping daydreaming because of the imaginary friends you've made. Let's say someone tells you that you can stop daydreaming, but because you've been with these imaginary friends for a long period of time, let's say for even 10 or 20 years, you associate stopping daydreaming with losing your friends, and then you shy away from doing it because it's the same thing as losing someone in your life.

Actually losing, or this fear of losing your imaginary friends, is a very normal fear because you have an emotional connection with them. And when you have an emotional connection with someone, of course, you don't want to lose them. You wouldn't want to lose someone who's been there for you.

It will feel like you are betraying them by stopping your adaptive dreaming, or you being able to manage your dreaming may give you this feeling of betraying your imaginary friends. So, you'd rather stick to this addictive behavior than even attempt to stop it. It can be a very dangerous place to be in because on one side, they've been there for you, but on the other side, the addiction is ruining your life. So, what do you do?

Actually, the best thing to do is to understand that it's very okay to feel a sense of loss when your cool character dies or when you lose the attachment with your imaginary friends. It's very normal because you are forming an emotional tie with them. It doesn't have to be a real-life human being as long as you're at the center of it because you're the one who's forming these connections, not someone else, not anyone else, it's just you.

You can form a connection with your family, with your friends, with your imaginary friends, but you're the one who's forming this emotional connection. So, to break this emotional connection, of course, there will always be a feeling of loss.

That's why, if you manage to stop your dreaming and you feel some sort of grief, allow yourself to feel it. It's okay, even if you're grieving for a few months, a few weeks, allow yourself to feel it, and don't really feel bad for yourself for grieving an imaginary friend. No, it's still an emotional connection, and there's no problem with it. So, allow yourself to feel it when they die, even when they die in the imaginary world. Allow yourself to feel it, and don't internalize it as if you are betraying them.

Just understand that's how it is when we are emotionally connected to anyone or to anything. So, it's normal, and that's part of life. Go easy on yourself.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

[biiedwin8]

Does Reading Fictions Books As A Distraction Help With Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Today, I'll be addressing the question of whether reading fiction books to distract yourself from daydreaming is a good idea. Actually, because you create an imaginary world and this imaginary world is sometimes filled with fantasies which are not even correlated to real-life events, it may really seem like an enjoyable thing to read fictional novels or to watch fictional movies as a distraction. So, because you enjoy being overly imaginative, of course, you will enjoy things which are fantastical and fictional. Because you enjoy it, it will mean that if you try reading these fictional books or novels, you'll also enjoy it. So, it will mean that you are so focused on it and you are so focused on something, it will mean that you are distracted from the imaginary world because you're so immersed in the novel or in the fictional book. So, when you're immersed in something, it's the same feeling you have when you are immersed in a daydream. That's why you may really hear people telling you to try reading fictional books and you will distract yourself from daydreaming, which is actually not a very bad advice in itself, but I'll explain to you why it's so dangerous as well.

It can help you really get yourself out of the imaginary world in your head, right? So, it can help you lessen the time you spend daydreaming. But what you need to realize is that you've just jumped from an imaginary world in your head to an imaginary world in a novel. You see what's happening there? So, let's say you're spending 3 to 5 hours in the imaginary world in your head, and then now, instead of spending 3 to 5 hours in the imaginary world in your head, you're now spending 3 to 5 hours a day in a fictional novel. So, what you need to see here is like you're just replacing something you're addicted with something else. Like you're replacing your imaginary world with a fictional book, which is still on a deeper level, like the same thing that you're not changing as a person. And that's what healing is all about. It's you changing as a person, changing or not looking for distraction. Because you need to ask yourself, why do you want to distract yourself? Why not face the issue?

So, as long as you're looking for a distraction, it can be a fictional novel, it can be a relationship, it can be a job, like keeping yourself busy, it can be isolating yourself from friends, it can be watching a movie. As long as you keep looking for distractions, you need to understand that actually, why am I distracting myself? Once you understand that, that's when you get to grow. All these other things will not really help you grow and it will offer you with this temporary illusion that you are actually growing. But looking for distractions will keep you where you are, will keep you stuck, and it will even make things worse for you because now you'll end up lying to yourself that actually, I've stopped daydreaming, but you're not really stopped. You're addicted to something else.

That's why people who normally heal from daydreaming end up like two, three months down the line saying that they miss the daydreaming because they end up picking up a coping mechanism or they end up doing something like substance abuse, which is far worse than daydreaming because of the health effects, of course. That's why focus on why do you really need to distract yourself. Once you really understand why you are distracting yourself or what you are running away from, you will get to understand that actually, the problem is not in the daydreaming, it's not in looking for a replacement, but it's just facing what you are distracting yourself from, which are your inner fears, inner insecurities, unresolved issues. Once you face that, you now grow on a deeper level. You grow to the point where you can enjoy the fictional novel, you can enjoy the daydreaming, you can enjoy life, but it is not controlling you. You are the one who is in charge of your life.

Hope you found that informative, guys. So, don't seek advice which tells you to seek distraction, but instead seek advice which tells you to face what you are distracting yourself from. That is now what true growth is.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming and managing your maladaptive daydreaming without spending years in therapy, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.