billy-cockblock - Tumblr blog

[billy-cockblock]

i think ethan would have a shaymin

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there really are few emotions i find more compelling in a story than "you should be afraid of me. please don't be afraid of me"

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"we need cops at pride to protect people!" WRONG. ASEXUALS WITH FLAMETHROWERS.

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you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

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My friend had to leave, how am I supposed to stay brave to play scary game now

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pray for me, I have an incurable illness where very time i see crossover art of Funny Little Dude In Spacesuits games i think "hmm. digivolution stages"

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Ooouugouugh las plagas attacking me (my esophagus is cramping)

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IT'S ROSEWATER SEASON!

My neighbor has what appears to be a Damask rose growing under my fence, so I've been helping myself to the dozens of intensely fragrant, oddly unattractive flowers it produces every June. I store them in the refrigerator, then when I have an afternoon free, I start distilling.

The technique I use involves a Dutch oven, a mason jar ring, a bag of ice, and a soup bowl. A turkey baster is helpful.

Place the mason jar ring in the bottom of the Dutch oven and add about 1/3 inch of water. Place the bowl on the mason jar ring, so it's not touching the bottom. Place two handfuls of rose petals on the water outside the bowl. Cover the Dutch oven with the lid upside down. This is important. The handle of the lid must fit inside the bowl, so the whole thing closes properly. If not, choose a shallower bowl. Now, place a quart ziplock bag full of ice on top of the lid, and cover all exposed edges of the lid with a damp washcloth. Bring the pot to a low simmer.

The idea is that steam from the water and petals inside the Dutch oven will condense on the curved surface of the upside-down lid and then drip down into the bowl. Every 5-10 minutes, lift the lid slightly, tap it up and down to shake off condensation, then remove the lid and use the turkey baster to suck the collected condensation out of the bowl within. Transfer this to a clean glass jar for storage.

As the rose petals cook, they will shrink and lose their scent and color. Add more. Periodically, you will need to scoop out used petals and add new ones, also add more water. The yield is quite small: about a gallon of petals yielded about 10oz of rose water.

Rosewater keeps for at least 6 months refrigerated, but not indefinitely. It can be used to flavor cocktails, drinks, or baked goods; really anywhere vanilla is used, but it's much much easier to overuse than vanilla. If you're too aggressive with it, your food will taste like soap.

The reason to pursue this tedious process rather than just steeping the rose petals in water, is to avoid picking up the tannins found in rose petals that give them a bitter taste. The steeping liquid at the bottom of the Dutch oven has a brown color, while the rosewater, which contains primarily the volatile oils, is clear. The reason to pursue this very wasteful process rather than using an actual still is that I'm cheap.

I'm also making rose-infused vinegar (for rinsing my hair; I've ditched conditioner for 3-in-1 shower gel followed by a dilute vinegar rinse), rose-infused grapeseed oil (to later extract with vodka for rose-infused vodka; the idea is that the oil shouldn't pick up the tannins so when I extract the oil with the vodka it should get just the desirable flavors), and gulkand (rose petals pickled in sugar for a month).

Everything in my house smells like roses and will do so for the rest of the week. My eyes itch. My fingers are dry. Pray for me

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Downloading re2 for research purposes and it’s not looking like it’ll finish downloading tonight. Drank coquito too fast and now my heads in like a pre-tipsy feeling that I don’t like but my tummy’s upset and I don’t want to drink more

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Hm.

Body horror

It’s me y’all should’ve seen this coming tbh the potential is right there

He’s beautiful :) I think with a bit more time I can make him better and by better I mean worse but like in a cute, fun way

At the end of the day I think I just like torturing characters

Anyway yeah my fucked up lil guy who absolutely bites

Bonus sillies

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Re venom au Ethan brain dump time. Re7 and 8 are the only ones I’ve seen full play throughs of, so if anyone wants to help me with Leon characterization on my other post, I would appreciate it.

After Shadows of Rose, Ethan’s kinda out of it in the megamycete. His consciousness is recovering from Miranda’s attack, he’s weakened from giving his powers to Rose, and the megamycete as a whole took a big hit from Miranda’s death. He’s stuck fading in and out while he rests, but gets a rude awakening when there’s a flurry of activity.

The stratum of the mindscape have dissolved, multiple consciousness coming together to will the mold they’re stored in to move. He tries to look outward, see what they’re doing, and all he hears is pained screaming. (“HOLY SHIT IS THE MEGAMYCETE TRYING TO TAKE OVER A GUY”)

He spreads his (surprisingly strong) influence over the mindscape, dragging the clawing consciousnesses away from the driver’s seat, flinging them back, and creating a stratum between him and them to keep them away from their apparent new host (since when could he do that?)

He slots himself in at the controls and sees what the damage is. Mold wrapping around brain and nerves, pull that back; mold spreading across skin, let’s hide that; now where to put the megamycete main body where it won’t rub up against organs uncomfortably? Well, there’s a kinda healed over space around the spine and ribs he find it easy to curl up in, and it gives him easy access to his nervous system so he can talk to this guy!

Right, he needs to talk to this guy, who’s lying on the floor, breathing heavily, and if he feels from his nervous system right, absolutely panicking.

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This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

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FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED jesus christ drawing full comics is HARD. I think it's better than uploading like 10 separate screenshots though so it must be done lol. Also. Words arent fucking. WORDING today so if all this shit I'm writing out doesent make sense please just work with me here :')

OKAY SO. Making their way into Moreaus section after Robbies little crisis inducing adventure. This is a good time for me to explain the reasoning behind WHY they're going to each of the Lords sections instead of just fuckin booking it out into the mountains.

Similar to the base game, each section contains a portion of a key that unlocks the 'Giants Chalice'. If you are familiar with the games progression, putting all of the keys together will cause a bridge to form that leads to Heisenberg's factory. Throughout the groups travels Robbie has been seeing snippets of stories about Heisenberg working on his 'super weapon' to defeat Miranda. And he knows that she would never let them leave, so obviously he has to kill her. So OBVIOUSLY he needs whatever weapon Heisenberg is building (why haven't I brought this up until now? Great question its because I hadn't thought about it until now!!)

After stealing the key from Moreau, they try and maneuver away while dodging his walls that keep popping up. While they're trying to escape through the mines they get separated.

Which means Robbie is alone when the 'Finding out Chris is there' cutscene happens (please ignore. the fact that the map behind Chris has nothing on it I fucking forgor.)

They meet again at the Dukes hideout up by the sluce gate control center, where Lisa and Gabe explain that they had to go back into the mines eventually and the exit closed up behind them once they got out. The only exit is underwater.

You would think that Lisa being able to fly would make it so that the whole 'running across weird bridges while trying not to get EATEN so you can get that stupid hand crank to adjust the stupid windmill to get power to the stupid sluce gate' section doesn't need to happen. But unfortunately activating those bridges is how the power from the windmill is directed back to the sluce gate so.. Robbie had better get ready to run (Lisa just flying over and hitting all of the buttons to activate the bridges wont work either. She's a swarm of flies and if they all get splashed by the thrashing Moreau is doing she's going to drop real quick).

After finally getting the power operational and opening the sluce gate, the three of them head down into the lakebed, which is when Moreau waddles his way in and blocks off the exit with one of his weird little fish egg walls. Robbie instructs Gabe to hide under one of the waterlogged huts while him and Lisa go kill this annoying fish.

But Gabe can hear they're struggling and comes up with a plan. He plants some of his sclerotia pods and waits until they're ready. Then shouts to get Moreau to come over to where he is at Lisa while she's flying around trying to direct Robbie. Once Moreau is there, he can enact his plan.

(STAB STAB STAB GABE SHOULD GET TO BE KICKASS)

Lisa, a girl who has literally only been praised for killing well, is SO EXCITED. THE LITTLE GUYS FIRST BIG KILL!!! HE DID SO GOOD!!!! Robbie's. Normal about this. Chris Redfield's words will not leave him the fuck alone.

He comes around to her idea about celebrating eventually.

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I’ve been watching resident evil lore summary videos and some gameplay clips all day and have been mulling over my re venom au for a few days, and am gonna make just a brain dump of thoughts.

According to one video I watched, shadows of Rose takes place in 2037 (if I remember correctly), quite a while after previous games. Resident evil 2 takes place in 1998, and let’s say Leon’s 20 in that game. That would make Leon 59 during the events of shadows of Rose. That is older than my parents, and I can’t imagine anyone their age doing backflips to dodge chainsaws or doing parkour or getting tossed around by a BOW and being able to stand back up. So, I’m gonna screw with the timeline a little bit. And by that I mean I’m throwing it out the window.

So! Plot ideas: Leon’s in his mid-40s and is starting to feel the combined effects of age and a life of being BOW’s chew toy. He’s getting tired of life as an agent, being surrounded by so much death and destruction with no end in sight other than dying on a mission. He starts to bring up the topic of retirement, and his friends are supportive of the idea. Even Chris, who Leon’s sure plans on working until he dies. He starts to go through the process of filing paperwork, getting assigned to find people to replace him, and trying to think of what to do once he’s no longer an agent.

The government isn’t as big a supporter of him planning retirement. He’s one of their best men, he knows a whole bunch of extremely classified information, and if he wasn’t working for them anymore, he’d just be out in the world and much harder to control. Some higher ups do their best to slow down his retirement process as much as possible, but he’s Leon fucking Kennedy, he never stops until a job’s done (even if that job is quitting your job). They’re assigning him extra work, claiming it’s backlog that they want him to finish before he goes, assign him on smaller, more frequent missions so he has less time to process his retirement, and try to find a solution to the risk he’d be once he left.

One such mission he gets sent on, is to check up on one of Chris’s assignments. A motion alarm had been tripped at a lab, and they just needed him to go make sure there weren’t any intruders hiding where security cameras couldn’t see.

He’s known what the higher up had been doing for a while, but he wasn’t fighting them on it too much because he was kinda lost on what he wanted to do after. Fighting biological threats was all he’d really done and all he’d had time for, he didn’t know what direction to go after retirement. That’s why he agreed to go check out the small, off the radar lab, even though it was under Chris’ jurisdiction. Just an easy surveillance sweep of a probably-empty building to kill some time and get some thought on his next steps.

He finally makes it to the lab space of the building, it having been much more well protected than he thought it’d be. A cursory glance tells him no one’s there, but then he hears glass breaking behind the shelves in the middle of the room. He quietly walks around, until he sees a broken-open containment flask full of some kind of goo. The glass is covered in dark, drying, and clearly dead material, but emerging from the cracked-open center was a shifting blob, pulsing a faint red.

He tried to swat it away when it leapt at his face, but it clung to him like glue. It sunk into his skin, and his nerves were set alight.