billysgirllol - Tumblr blog

[billysgirllol]

“yeah, and that’s all i was tryin’ to do. is have fun.” but then, look how that turned out. horse-playin’ ended up with her hand hurt and almost worse. “the worst? it was just a joke, darlin’. why is everything to you the worst.” brows gently creased in confusion and concern, wondering why someone would react this way so many times in one day. especially when she was just playing with him, a harmless game and he took it so seriously like he’s some type of wild animal used to being caged. he acts like she’s trying to constantly trap him. “i do…they’re in the bathroom, in the basket on top on the counter.” which works out since that’s where they’re going. “there’s alcohol hidden in the top pantry cabinet in the kitchen.” because the preacher is a hypocrite— a preacher can’t be caught lecturing how alcohol is bad at church but be soaking them down at home. “i don’t weigh a lot, i don’t think. and it’s just right there…but i also get it if your muscles still hurt.” he can just hand her own shoes, a random pair in her closet, if he can’t carry her a few steps away. when he turns though, lucy gray almost backs out, contemplating if it’s a good idea or not before slowly putting her good hand on his shoulder then both arms curl around his neck before legs quickly wrap around him. a little nervous he might be too weak and drop her. “if it’s too much, just drop me backwards back onto my bed. it’s alright if it is.” lucy gray reassures before managing to joke back with him, “doesn’t matter how much i want a piggyback ride, if you’re still in pain then it can wait.”

“no, it- it didn’t burn me.” trying to gather words after something fun turning almost disastrous, all the shouting he was doing too she thought he got cut by the glass. “well, my mama always did say…horseplayin’ always leads to someone winding up hurt. she sure was right.” lucy gray admits, mama’s really do know it all. “but i’m not hurt that bad,” she insists, sitting down on her bed, “that glass about when into my eye and i’m real fortunate, the lamp wasn’t hot or i’d have burns. so really, i am perfectly fine.” and grateful she just has a cut and a few tiny ones dotting her hand, few pieces of glass stuck in her hand and no burns or scars on their way to mess up her face and skin. “i’m okay, i’m alright,” lucy gray tries to reassure while her hand stayed splayed out to let him see, gently shaking her head while looking him over to make sure he didn’t earn any injuries too. “yeah,” she agrees to go to the bathroom, “just be careful not to step in any glass or oil.” which is why she’s reluctant to stand right away, looking down at the floor before turning over on her belly on top of the bed so she can reach under the bed for his boots, “here,” she tosses one out each with her right hand that wasn’t cut, “pull these onto your feet and i’ll get a ride on your back.” instructing while shifting back around, standing up on her bed. eyes going to the rug while she waits, hopin’ and prayin’ that baking soda helps or he’s going to throw a tantrum fit and blame it on her bringing food to her room like he was doing earlier. but now he’ll have evidence, even if it wasn’t caused by food.

[billysgirllol]

[billysgirllol]

“no, it- it didn’t burn me.” trying to gather words after something fun turning almost disastrous, all the shouting he was doing too she thought he got cut by the glass. “well, my mama always did say…horseplayin’ always leads to someone winding up hurt. she sure was right.” lucy gray admits, mama’s really do know it all. “but i’m not hurt that bad,” she insists, sitting down on her bed, “that glass about when into my eye and i’m real fortunate, the lamp wasn’t hot or i’d have burns. so really, i am perfectly fine.” and grateful she just has a cut and a few tiny ones dotting her hand, few pieces of glass stuck in her hand and no burns or scars on their way to mess up her face and skin. “i’m okay, i’m alright,” lucy gray tries to reassure while her hand stayed splayed out to let him see, gently shaking her head while looking him over to make sure he didn’t earn any injuries too. “yeah,” she agrees to go to the bathroom, “just be careful not to step in any glass or oil.” which is why she’s reluctant to stand right away, looking down at the floor before turning over on her belly on top of the bed so she can reach under the bed for his boots, “here,” she tosses one out each with her right hand that wasn’t cut, “pull these onto your feet and i’ll get a ride on your back.” instructing while shifting back around, standing up on her bed. eyes going to the rug while she waits, hopin’ and prayin’ that baking soda helps or he’s going to throw a tantrum fit and blame it on her bringing food to her room like he was doing earlier. but now he’ll have evidence, even if it wasn’t caused by food.

a smile is about to illuminate mischievous features before there’s a yell then a CRASH, causing lucy gray to immediately let go and turn her face from glass hitting her skin as she simultaneously gasps. the oil barely misses her shirt, still getting splattered across the cheek. luckily, it doesn’t go in her eyes nor is it hot. “i can’t stay here, you don’t know where the broom is.” she’s immediately climbing out without thinking, hand going in a pile of glass— quickly retracting at the immediate crunchy stings they prick at beneath her palm and flinging her hand. ow. she audibly winces, but continues to crawl out, just going the other way and being careful not to put weight on her hand to push any of the glass pieces deeper into her skin. she’d be more shocked hearing the curse word if she wasn’t frantically looking around with oil on her face and a tiny string of blood pouring down her palm that she’s holding out to keep him from stepping forward in the mess covering her floor with she briefly glances down at, “no, but i think you lost yours. i was just gone for a minute or two, playin’ a game of hide and seek with you and then you’ve went and gotten some crazy ideas the preacher’s here.” how nuts is he? why is he ALWAYS on edge and paranoid, seems like? “but now the preacher will lose his mind, with OIL on the rug!” he’s even crazier if he thinks he won’t notice it. no amount of cleanin’ will even bring it out, probably. she’s quickly turning around, rushing to get a broom and a metal pan out of the hallway’s storage closet, dropping both next to her bed once it’s brought back with her good hand then frantically running into the bathroom. taking one of the already wet wash cloths, running back in again with it and baking soda.

[billysgirllol]

a smile is about to illuminate mischievous features before there’s a yell then a CRASH, causing lucy gray to immediately let go and turn her face from glass hitting her skin as she simultaneously gasps. the oil barely misses her shirt, still getting splattered across the cheek. luckily, it doesn’t go in her eyes nor is it hot. “i can’t stay here, you don’t know where the broom is.” she’s immediately climbing out without thinking, hand going in a pile of glass— quickly retracting at the immediate crunchy stings they prick at beneath her palm and flinging her hand. ow. she audibly winces, but continues to crawl out, just going the other way and being careful not to put weight on her hand to push any of the glass pieces deeper into her skin. she’d be more shocked hearing the curse word if she wasn’t frantically looking around with oil on her face and a tiny string of blood pouring down her palm that she’s holding out to keep him from stepping forward in the mess covering her floor with she briefly glances down at, “no, but i think you lost yours. i was just gone for a minute or two, playin’ a game of hide and seek with you and then you’ve went and gotten some crazy ideas the preacher’s here.” how nuts is he? why is he ALWAYS on edge and paranoid, seems like? “but now the preacher will lose his mind, with OIL on the rug!” he’s even crazier if he thinks he won’t notice it. no amount of cleanin’ will even bring it out, probably. she’s quickly turning around, rushing to get a broom and a metal pan out of the hallway’s storage closet, dropping both next to her bed once it’s brought back with her good hand then frantically running into the bathroom. taking one of the already wet wash cloths, running back in again with it and baking soda.

fingers gently drumming against the hardwood flooring, dusting a piece of dirt out of the way, then eventually turning on her back to distract her idle brain to find something else to do while lucy gray waits on her victim. picking at a stray thread hanging from the mattress, hearing the occasional thudding letting her know he’s still making it on his own. then suddenly her mind snaps out of it’s daze, quickly rolling back onto her belly to plant her forearms against the floor. lowering her head to the floor to watch for his feet, ignoring her name once it’s called even if she’s feeling a little guilty for stretching the prank this long when she knows he’s still not in the best shape. still, it’s just harmless fun… and now’s her time once her eyes watch his legs appear and get closer, seeing him carefully move over to her closet, missing the part where he grabbed one of her lamps. his back is facing her way and lucy gray pulls herself forward, just enough to stick her arm out, fingers splayed as hand slowly comes closer and closer and— GRAB. hand clutches around his sock clad ankle, giving his leg a yank.

[billysgirllol]

TOM 😂

[billysgirllol]

LUCY GRAY BAIRD'S RAINBOW DRESS The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (2023) Costume Design: Trish Summerville

[billysgirllol]

fingers gently drumming against the hardwood flooring, dusting a piece of dirt out of the way, then eventually turning on her back to distract her idle brain to find something else to do while lucy gray waits on her victim. picking at a stray thread hanging from the mattress, hearing the occasional thudding letting her know he’s still making it on his own. then suddenly her mind snaps out of it’s daze, quickly rolling back onto her belly to plant her forearms against the floor. lowering her head to the floor to watch for his feet, ignoring her name once it’s called even if she’s feeling a little guilty for stretching the prank this long when she knows he’s still not in the best shape. still, it’s just harmless fun… and now’s her time once her eyes watch his legs appear and get closer, seeing him carefully move over to her closet, missing the part where he grabbed one of her lamps. his back is facing her way and lucy gray pulls herself forward, just enough to stick her arm out, fingers splayed as hand slowly comes closer and closer and— GRAB. hand clutches around his sock clad ankle, giving his leg a yank.

getting comfy, the tiny brunette lays on her side atop her blankets, propped up on her arm and fist resting against her head as she listens to all that ruckus he’s makin’ in there. and listening to make sure he doesn’t fall or need her help, since she’s enjoying thoroughly— playing this silly prank on him but she doesn’t want him to get hurt. though, closer lucy gray listens it begins to sound like he’s managing and doing just fine. her brows perk and a silly grin graces her face as he theories what she could be hiding, now that he’s finally off calling her name a handful of times. hiding her face into her pillow as she snorts at his crazy guess about being thirteen, she moves away from the pillow and gently rolls off her bed to crawl underneath. quietly moving his things under her bed to the side so she can squeeze her body under it, now just left to wait to see if he’ll come in here so she can act on her next devious plan and grab for his ankle. her heart pumps with excitement and realizing…other than covey band nights, this feels so foreign having fun and smiling so much. it’s odd she feels scared and guilt, for enjoying a day of her life for once all because the preacher has programmed her brain in some way to feel bad, like there’s repercussions for actually smiling and playing like a carefree kid for once.

[billysgirllol]

I think about this zeglyth clip a lot. Rachel’s adorable laugh when Tom is being a goofy bestie please 😭☹️❤️🙏

[billysgirllol]

getting comfy, the tiny brunette lays on her side atop her blankets, propped up on her arm and fist resting against her head as she listens to all that ruckus he’s makin’ in there. and listening to make sure he doesn’t fall or need her help, since she’s enjoying thoroughly— playing this silly prank on him but she doesn’t want him to get hurt. though, closer lucy gray listens it begins to sound like he’s managing and doing just fine. her brows perk and a silly grin graces her face as he theories what she could be hiding, now that he’s finally off calling her name a handful of times. hiding her face into her pillow as she snorts at his crazy guess about being thirteen, she moves away from the pillow and gently rolls off her bed to crawl underneath. quietly moving his things under her bed to the side so she can squeeze her body under it, now just left to wait to see if he’ll come in here so she can act on her next devious plan and grab for his ankle. her heart pumps with excitement and realizing…other than covey band nights, this feels so foreign having fun and smiling so much. it’s odd she feels scared and guilt, for enjoying a day of her life for once all because the preacher has programmed her brain in some way to feel bad, like there’s repercussions for actually smiling and playing like a carefree kid for once.

“no, not terrible.” the brunette softly replies, genuinely feeling her skin melt that time when his hand brushes against her skin. she almost blushes and her heart palpitates too hard in a way that scares her because that’s not supposed to happen, her dad wouldn’t allow it and besides…she’s naturally scared on her own of trusting people. which is ironic he mentions the very thing she’s thinking. “good point. i guess now that i know you got something ‘bad’ about you, you’re right. i can’t trust either.” she sasses, since now she’s wondering if he could be someone who leaves their wife at home. “you don’t know a lot about me either.” lucy gray points out, meaning she could be bad too. he doesn’t know what she’s truly like and she ignores him about the gun actually being aimed at her floor. “well,” a smile started to form on her lips, she couldn’t help it, even as this little story came as a surprise. “that’s so sweet…” playing house, naming dolls, that was very endearing for someone who’s ‘bad’ and leaves their wife at home. she doesn’t like the way it confuses her— one minute finding him different and kind then the next having conflicted feelings on trusting who he is. “and it does sound so similar to our covey name’s tradition.” that’s a pretty great name choice for a boy to choose, too. “hmm, who knows. guess you won’t be hangin’ around long enough to find out. no more rolls and pies for you.” she taunts while running off, disappearing through the threshold and going into the next room over that’s her bedroom. covering her mouth with her palm to stifle the laughs wanting to barrel out of her at his sudden curiosity and the way he won’t stop yelling. she thinks about responding from her bedroom where she plops down on her bed at, but goes quiet in deciding she’ll prank him, leave him wondering why she went silent. even though she worries and hopes he can get out of the tub on his own.

[billysgirllol]

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (2023) dir. Francis Lawrence

[billysgirllol]

“no, not terrible.” the brunette softly replies, genuinely feeling her skin melt that time when his hand brushes against her skin. she almost blushes and her heart palpitates too hard in a way that scares her because that’s not supposed to happen, her dad wouldn’t allow it and besides…she’s naturally scared on her own of trusting people. which is ironic he mentions the very thing she’s thinking. “good point. i guess now that i know you got something ‘bad’ about you, you’re right. i can’t trust either.” she sasses, since now she’s wondering if he could be someone who leaves their wife at home. “you don’t know a lot about me either.” lucy gray points out, meaning she could be bad too. he doesn’t know what she’s truly like and she ignores him about the gun actually being aimed at her floor. “well,” a smile started to form on her lips, she couldn’t help it, even as this little story came as a surprise. “that’s so sweet…” playing house, naming dolls, that was very endearing for someone who’s ‘bad’ and leaves their wife at home. she doesn’t like the way it confuses her— one minute finding him different and kind then the next having conflicted feelings on trusting who he is. “and it does sound so similar to our covey name’s tradition.” that’s a pretty great name choice for a boy to choose, too. “hmm, who knows. guess you won’t be hangin’ around long enough to find out. no more rolls and pies for you.” she taunts while running off, disappearing through the threshold and going into the next room over that’s her bedroom. covering her mouth with her palm to stifle the laughs wanting to barrel out of her at his sudden curiosity and the way he won’t stop yelling. she thinks about responding from her bedroom where she plops down on her bed at, but goes quiet in deciding she’ll prank him, leave him wondering why she went silent. even though she worries and hopes he can get out of the tub on his own.

“well, fine. maybe you’re right about it definitely not bein’ a number if you were really thirty five. but you’re ignorin’ me when i say you’re barely not a child, cause you’re not thirty three you’re nineteen. you were just one too, two years ago. and accordin’ to me… you still are. but all right, i understand.” she nods even if she’s still feigning a pout, lips sulky and frowny. “how would i trust you teachin’ me about self defense? what if you accidentally wound me?” since she had no idea how experienced he was with a dangerous weapon like a gun. “cause you wouldn’t be here with me if you did. though, i like ruby jean. that’s right adorable.” she cutely smiles at that. “well, i didn’t have a reason to point it out even if i’ve been thinkin’ it and you did point a gun at me— so that’s why else it’s took some time for me to warm up to you.” lucy gray claims, then goes quiet as he lets her down about anything being able to be more between them. her lips refraining from twitching into amusement, even if she’s sweetly smiling in the inside at saying she’s smart and beautiful. until she has to wonder if he’s saying the next thing to deter her or because there’s some type of meaning. “what’s that mean? you’re sayin’ you’re as bad as billy taupe?” she questions confusingly, brows gently knitting. “you don’t have to leave, you can stay right here, livin’ under my bed forever.” the songstress jokes, shrugging and smiling like that’s logical. “but i know…you’re a wanderer in the wind.” lucy gray has to roll her eyes again, only because it makes her a little mad. where does he plan to go? go wandering off then get sick again and die off this time? she has to wonder why can’t he just sit in one place for awhile. she sits still, letting his hand tuck dark curls behind her ear; finding it soothing before she softly starts laughing in amusement at his shamus excuse again. she figures it is time to let him get out now. “if only you knew my secret too, you know.” she looks down at him with a devious smile, amusingly smiling down at his hands tugging her shirt down for her. well, at least she’s learned from this she now knows he’s a gentleman. then she playfully bows for being such a good participant at her show before turning and leaving the room.

[billysgirllol]

BILLY THE KID Season 2 Episode 5

[billysgirllol]

“well, fine. maybe you’re right about it definitely not bein’ a number if you were really thirty five. but you’re ignorin’ me when i say you’re barely not a child, cause you’re not thirty three you’re nineteen. you were just one too, two years ago. and accordin’ to me… you still are. but all right, i understand.” she nods even if she’s still feigning a pout, lips sulky and frowny. “how would i trust you teachin’ me about self defense? what if you accidentally wound me?” since she had no idea how experienced he was with a dangerous weapon like a gun. “cause you wouldn’t be here with me if you did. though, i like ruby jean. that’s right adorable.” she cutely smiles at that. “well, i didn’t have a reason to point it out even if i’ve been thinkin’ it and you did point a gun at me— so that’s why else it’s took some time for me to warm up to you.” lucy gray claims, then goes quiet as he lets her down about anything being able to be more between them. her lips refraining from twitching into amusement, even if she’s sweetly smiling in the inside at saying she’s smart and beautiful. until she has to wonder if he’s saying the next thing to deter her or because there’s some type of meaning. “what’s that mean? you’re sayin’ you’re as bad as billy taupe?” she questions confusingly, brows gently knitting. “you don’t have to leave, you can stay right here, livin’ under my bed forever.” the songstress jokes, shrugging and smiling like that’s logical. “but i know…you’re a wanderer in the wind.” lucy gray has to roll her eyes again, only because it makes her a little mad. where does he plan to go? go wandering off then get sick again and die off this time? she has to wonder why can’t he just sit in one place for awhile. she sits still, letting his hand tuck dark curls behind her ear; finding it soothing before she softly starts laughing in amusement at his shamus excuse again. she figures it is time to let him get out now. “if only you knew my secret too, you know.” she looks down at him with a devious smile, amusingly smiling down at his hands tugging her shirt down for her. well, at least she’s learned from this she now knows he’s a gentleman. then she playfully bows for being such a good participant at her show before turning and leaving the room.

"no, i would not. but– i've grown up in five years. i'm two years shy of bein' eighteen, don't that make me an official woman?" big expressive browns rolled at that, wondering how over night that somehow when she turned eighteen; she was now deemed as a woman.

"maybe all that don't matter to me," she corrects, "maybe i can handle my own and won't let none of this world treat me terribly without a consequence to it." lucy gray firmly states. although, it's sweet of him to seem so protective over girls and women.. she also didn't like being categorized in the mix of them being so weak. "but you don't... you don't got an eighth wife and three kids." meaning, she wasn't considering just any 35 year old. only if he had been. "oo, four big years uh huh." she snorts, "you're just a kid. as much as me. baby face and all," small hand lifts, patting him on the cheek while he's crouched over in this corner of the tub like she stinks all the sudden. "so that's why it ain't no sinister thing." cause he's a kid, like her. "as my maw used to say.... we're both still poopin' yeller," thickening her accent just to add to the hilarity of that expression. "not just me." she reminds once again. "so now you're on your merry way, huh?" brows lift, pursing her lips and sitting back in her chair with a dramatic plop with her arms crossed once she stops smooching him and gets shoved back by his big ole palm stuffing in her face. "alright, hmph," she pouts like a baby since he wants to call her one. "now i'm your mama to your sister. world changes quick, don't it." feigning more pout, staring at the wall. "but thanks, i'm still lookin' forward to the horses." she mumbles, looking down at her feet she kicks out in front of her under her skirt. before head pops back up and lucy gray's pestering him again, "you sure i can't still come swimmin' with you? there won't be no smooching or anything, i promise." she suddenly stands up, pretending she's going ahead and grabbing the hem of her shirt without pulling it up past her belly button.

[billysgirllol]

"no, i would not. but– i've grown up in five years. i'm two years shy of bein' eighteen, don't that make me an official woman?" big expressive browns rolled at that, wondering how over night that somehow when she turned eighteen; she was now deemed as a woman.

"maybe all that don't matter to me," she corrects, "maybe i can handle my own and won't let none of this world treat me terribly without a consequence to it." lucy gray firmly states. although, it's sweet of him to seem so protective over girls and women.. she also didn't like being categorized in the mix of them being so weak. "but you don't... you don't got an eighth wife and three kids." meaning, she wasn't considering just any 35 year old. only if he had been. "oo, four big years uh huh." she snorts, "you're just a kid. as much as me. baby face and all," small hand lifts, patting him on the cheek while he's crouched over in this corner of the tub like she stinks all the sudden. "so that's why it ain't no sinister thing." cause he's a kid, like her. "as my maw used to say.... we're both still poopin' yeller," thickening her accent just to add to the hilarity of that expression. "not just me." she reminds once again. "so now you're on your merry way, huh?" brows lift, pursing her lips and sitting back in her chair with a dramatic plop with her arms crossed once she stops smooching him and gets shoved back by his big ole palm stuffing in her face. "alright, hmph," she pouts like a baby since he wants to call her one. "now i'm your mama to your sister. world changes quick, don't it." feigning more pout, staring at the wall. "but thanks, i'm still lookin' forward to the horses." she mumbles, looking down at her feet she kicks out in front of her under her skirt. before head pops back up and lucy gray's pestering him again, "you sure i can't still come swimmin' with you? there won't be no smooching or anything, i promise." she suddenly stands up, pretending she's going ahead and grabbing the hem of her shirt without pulling it up past her belly button.

upon  hearing  lucy  gray’s  reassurance,  billy  cringes  inside  but  somehow  manages  to  keep  his  outward  demeanor  composed.  “well,  yeah,  no,”  he  stutters  a  bit,  unsure  how  to  put  his  thoughts  into  words,  “womanly  things,  like  a  period,  don’t  make  you  a  woman  grown.  would  you  say  a  twelve  year  old  is  a  woman  just  because  she  bleeds  once  a  month?”  there’s  a  certain  kind  of  conviction  in  his  voice,  jaw  set  in  that  disapproving  yet  determined  way  of  his  that  means  he’s  leaving  no  room  for  negotiations.  “sixteen  is  not  much  different  than  fifteen.  besides,  why’d  you  even  want  to  grow  up  ahead  of  time?  it’s  not  like  this  world  treats  women  much  better  than  it  treats  girls.”  may  24th.  he  might  be  annoyed  with  her  silly  explanations,  but  still  makes  sure  to  memorize  the  date.  she  means  the  world  to  him,  even  if  he  can  no  longer  crush  on  her.  she’s  the  person  who’s  saved  his  life,  his  guardian  angel,  she’ll  always  be  important  to  him.  that  will  never  change.  “alright,  but  at  thirty-five,  he  might  have  a  dozen  kids  and  be  on  his  third  wife,  doesn’t  that  make  him  an  old  guy  in  the  eyes  of  a  teenager?”  he’ll  end  up  wrinkled  and  with  gray  hair  if  she  keeps  saying  things  like  this.  “that’s  not  unfair.  i’m,  what?  four?  four  years  older  than  you.”  and  that  makes  him  more  of  an  adult.  it’s  simple  math.

“actually,  lucy  gray,  i’d  argue  with  that.”  her  being  fully  conscious  at  fifteen  and  therefore  being  able  to  consent.  “just  ‘cause  you’re  highly  intelligent  and  probably  can  anticipate  the  likely  consequences  of  your  actions,  doesn’t  mean  you  can,  or  should,  own  said  consequences.”  he  doesn’t  want  to  come  off  harsh,  but  he  feels  like  someone  should  tell  this  child  that  she  should  give  herself  more  time  before  making  life-changing  decisions.  “alright,  that’s  fine  with  me.  i’m  a  baby,  too,”  he  sighs,  but  doesn’t  argue  with  her  logic  —  if  they’re  both  babies,  they’ll  stay  friends.  just  friends.  “lucy  gray,  i  hate  to  be  the  one  to  break  it  to  you,  but  any  man  who  finds  a  CHILD  attractive  is  sinister,  no  matter  how  nice  he  seems  on  the  outside.”  he  runs  a  hand  over  his  face,  the  water’s  growing  cold  and  he’d  love  nothing  more  than  to  dry  himself  and  get  dressed,  but  as  long  as  she’s  sitting  by  his  side,  he  can’t  really  move.  “yeah,  exactly,  i’m  not  this  type  of  guy  so  we’ll  be  friends,  alright?  i’ll  still  teach  you  how  to  ride  a  horse,  i’ll  help  you  with  the  animals  and  cooking  and  cleaning,  and  then  i’ll  go  on  my  merry  way,  and  we’ll  stay  friends.”  emphasizing  the  word  friends,  he’s  about  to  politely  ask  her  to  leave  and  give  him  some  privacy  so  he  can  finish  scrubbing  and  put  some  clothes  on  when  she  begins  to  lean  closer  to  him.  he’s  got  nowhere  to  run  and  so  he  freezes  in  place  when  he  first  realizes  what  she’s  trying  to  do.  startled,  his  heart  nearly  jumps  out  of  his  chest.  his  reflexes  might  be  slower  than  usual,  but  he  still  brings  a  hand  up  and  presses  it  to  her  face  in  time,  his  palm  covering  her  entire  visage.  he  gently  pushes  her  away,  quick  to  protest,  “friends,  lucy  gray,  we’ll  be  the  best  of  friends,  but  friends  don’t  kiss  when  one  of  them  is  naked,  alright?”  he  doesn’t  want  to  break  her  heart,  even  if  part  of  him  thinks  it’s  extremely  suspicious  how  she’s  so  suddenly  into  him,  but  he  won’t  let  this  get  any  farther.

[billysgirllol]

Tom Blyth and Rachel Zegler on set of TBOSAS

[billysgirllol]

"i've long graduated teddy bears. i'm a woman, i assure. i have my womanly things like... a period for five years now. and my birthday's may 24th, so i'll be sixteen real soon." nineteen. she'll actually be nineteen in a few days. "thirty five is not an old guy, a thirty five year old has no wrinkles or grey hair." giving him another roll of her eyes, "sixty year olds must be ancient, then. if thirty five is old." she laughs, leans up off the tub and plops back down in her chair next to him. "we're both teenagers and somehow you're more of an adult than me? well, that ain't fair." sighing, shaking her head in feigned disappointment. "yeah, but i'm fully conscious in sayin' it's alright with me. –you're still learnin' and growin' too, cause they say your brain isn't developed until you're thirty so you're just a baby like me then." reaching out and poking his shoulder with an amused smile starting to grow on her lips when he scoots away, like she has the plague or something. but she won't push, she doesn't want him to absolutely freak out and he seems to be about there with how badly he's stressing. which is actually cute at how serious he's taking it. "that's definitely true. BUT i wouldn't go for an older guy who was sinister, i know who to watch out for. but you aren't this type of guy, so it's all fine by me." nevermind about pushing...she's about to reveal she's just messing with him so she has to do one last thing before she gives up the charade. she leans back over, making smoochy sounds with her lips, trying to chase for his cheek as he's leaned over against the tub.

under  any  other  circumstances,  billy  would  be  laughing  until  his  chest  and  face  hurt,  but  now  that  he’s  convinced  himself  she’s  only  fifteen  years  old,  he  instead  finds  himself  gaping  at  her,  looking  like  a  fish  straight  out  the  water.  flirtatious  jokes  no  longer  amuse  him,  quite  the  opposite  actually  —  they  make  his  stomach  twist  and  turn  with  concern.  who’s  taught  this  child  about  things  like  one-time  love  affairs  and  nights  that  feel  like  a  lifetime?  he  can’t  help  the  look  of  worry  laced  with  disgust  that  overtakes  his  handsome  features,  dark  brows  inching  closer  together,  jaw  setting  as  he  ponders  his  next  words.  “you  know,  ma,”  god,  does  it  feel  weird  calling  her  that  now,  “lucy  gray,  i  mean,  maybe  you  should  dust  off  your  teddy  bears  and  focus  on  them  for  a  few  more  years.  give  yourself  some  more  time  before  some  nice  fellow  comes  ‘round,  trying  to  win  over  your  heart.”  his  thoughts  wander  back  to  that  billy  taupe  guy,  wondering  whether  it  was  him  who’d  given  her  the  inspiration  needed  for  this  particular  story.

“thirty-five  is  no  old  man?!”  he  notices  the  way  she  stumbles  over  her  words,  believing  her  even  more  now  —  if  he’s  ever  had  any  doubts  about  her  being  a  young  teenager,  now  they’re  all  gone.  he  runs  a  hand  through  his  dark  locks,  pulling  on  the  roots  to  keep  himself  from  screaming  or  throwing  up.  “lucy  gray,”  he  says,  shaking  his  head,  his  voice  calm  but  firm.  he  sits  back  up,  pulling  his  knees  to  his  chest.  “thirty-five  didn’t  sound  all  that  bad?  that’s  —  that’s  old  enough  to  be  your  father.  it  is  as  old  as  sixty.  i  mean,  it  should  sound  as  old  as  sixty  to  you,  anyway.  you  don’t  want  to  get  involved  with  someone  twice  your  age,  trust  me.  something’s  very,  very  wrong  with  men  who  don’t  mind  dating  children,”  he  insists,  hoping  to  talk  sense  into  her  young  heart.  he  can’t  help  but  worry  about  her,  a  teenage  girl  who  doesn’t  see  the  dangers  of  flirting  with  older  men…  there’s  plenty  of  evil  jerks  out  there  who’d  happily  take  advantage  of  her.  “it  doesn’t  make  anything  dandy.”  each  word  that  rolls  off  her  tongue  only  serves  to  make  him  feel  more  uneasy,  his  jaw  nearly  hitting  the  floor  with  how  he’s  gaping,  trying  to  understand  where  she’s  got  this  crooked  mindset  from.  someone  must  have  taken  advantage  of  her,  that’s  the  conclusion  he  jumps  to  because  it  makes  sense  in  his  head.  was  it  the  preacher  or  billy  taupe  or  some  old  fart  she  hasn’t  told  him  about  yet?  “lucy  gray,  look…  it  might  not  seem  like  a  lot,  but  it  is.  that’s  five  whole  years.  i’m  a  man,  and  you’re  still  a  child.  even  if  you  feel  all  grown  up,  you’re  not,”  he  sighs,  trying  to  talk  sense  into  her  but  fearing  she  might  not  be  listening  to  him.

the  unexpected  attention,  combined  with  affection,  that  she’s  now  all  the  sudden  giving  him  makes  his  skin  crawl.  the  fact  that  he  was  thinking  about  and  craving  this  very  thing  only  a  moment  ago  causing  his  stomach  to  roil.  he’s  so  disgusted  with  himself  that  he  can  barely  hold  her  gaze,  his  visage  flushed  with  shame  and  regret.  “there’s  everythin’  wrong  about  you  bein’  five  years  under  me,”  he  says  softly,  convinced  something  absolutely  terrible  must  have  happened  to  her  to  make  her  feel  this  way.  he  could  yell  at  her  and  tell  her  to  get  lost,  but  he  feels  sorry  for  her  and  wants  her  to  see  why  falling  for  men  older  than  her,  especially  now  while  she’s  still  a  child,  is  dangerous.  “remember  what  you  told  me  ‘bout  kisses  while  someone’s  unconscious?  when  i  first  woke  up?  well,  it’s  kind  of  like  that  with  age,  too.  when  you’re  as  young  as  you  are  now.  you’re  still  learning  and  growing,  and  can’t  fully  understand  what  you’re  saying  yes  to,  alright?  i  don’t  mean  to  sound  rude  or  belittle  your  intelligence  ‘cause  it’s  not  about  that.  it’s  about… maturity,”  he  reasons,  scooting  away  from  her  as  far  as  the  tub  will  allow.  “yeah,  no,”  he  gently  takes  her  hands  into  his,  peeling  them  off  his  skin  and  pressing  to  her  own  person,  away  from  him,  “an  older  man  attracted  to  a  younger  girl  is  a  loser  and  an  idiot,  lucy  gray.  men  like  that  are  sinister  and  just  want  someone  they  can  easily  control  and  take  advantage  of  in  every  way.  they’re  not  more  mature,  they’re  predators.  they  seem  wiser  because  they  know  how  to  manipulate  young  girls.”  he  shakes  his  head,  feeling  horrible  for  finding  her  attractive  and  flirting  with  her  in  the  first  place.  

[billysgirllol]

"mmm, i don't know. maybe you did take a little bit of my shade of hair. mine's just a tinge darker." she analyzes, picking up a strand of her hair off her shoulder. "you took your skin and eyes off your daddy, though. i knew him for a night but that night felt like a lifetime. then he just up and left, gone with the wind. i know he would've stayed though if he knew what that one night brought, though. he was too kind of a feller, just a busy one." she hummed with hands on her hips, looking out towards the window where white curtains hung. like all of this was real, but she did always have a ginormous imagination. she felt a hand– wet and leaving a soaky imprint on her skin but warm chocolate hues fell onto his visage and then melted like cocoa at his touch and his words. "well, now i have to forgive you so easily." she amusingly smiled at the hilarious way of being called ma in a simultaneously sincere moment. but then that hand fell quicker than it had came and lucy gray's dark brows lifted, doe eyes blooming alert before skillfully hiding the amusement that lurked behind them at this sudden change of demeanor from him. well now, he passed one of her tests; now she knew he wasn't weird. all while amusing her greatly on the inside at his noble reaction. "well... i..." she feigned a way of sounding like she was 'tripping up' on her words. on the inside, she wasn't stumbling a bit. "thirty five don't sound all that bad. that's not like'a old man or anything, come on. thirty five ain't sixty... so course i am." her voice pepped, nodding once. "nineteen?" brows lifted again at his real age, deciding she'll smile real big, "well, see. now that helps everything and makes it all dandy. that's just five years. what's wrong with that, honey peach. and november's far off anyway." she gave him a dismissive hand, eyes rolling at him like he's crazy and doing all this worrying for nothing. "shamus is all fed for right now," stepping back forward, she purposely patted his shoulder. "cause there's nothin' wrong about me bein' five years under you." elbows plopped on the edge of the tub, holding her chin in her hands as lucy gray looked closely at him, "that's why i didn't think to tell you." saying affectionately, reaching out a hand to gently turn his face her way. "i promise, darlin'. in fact, an older man is a wiser man. which is real attractive to me." she puts on this act, like now that she's discovered he's a bit older... she's head over heels in love. thinking she just needs to freak him out for her own entertainment. maybe a little payback too for pointing that gun at her and saying she's forty-fifty something. "see, that explains why you're so much more mature actin' than those boys at church. they're little boys and you're a man." the love in her honey eyes just continued to grow.

the cowboy doesn’t even try to hold his laughter inside, erupting into airy giggles almost as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “yeah, it’s plain to see i take after you with my olive skin and brown eyes and height, but what about my hair? do i have my pa’s hair? who even is my pa?” he jokingly inquires, tapping the side of his chin in wonderment, eager to see what she comes up with. “hey, don’t be sad, ma. it was only a silly jest.” he knows the look on her face, much like the one on his own, is only an act, and still his heart breaks. he cups her cheek with his wet palm, stroking her soft skin affectionately with the pad of his thumb to soothe the sting of his words, worrying he might have gone too far. that is, until he hears her next words, which have his hand falling back into the tub as though her skin was afire. “fifteen?!” he repeats, dumbfounded. he falls for her act, her explanation about having to grow up faster making perfect sense, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach for flirting with her without a care in the world. he was convinced she was no child, but clearly — he was wrong. “i apologize, lucy gray. you obviously don’t look fifty-three, but i did assume you were a couple years older than you actually are.” does he regret wishing she weren’t such a mystery? yes, now that his insides are churning, yes. “thirty five? you think i’m thirty five and here you are, scrubbing my back and…” he trails off, trying to keep the tremors in his voice under control. has she been flirting with him as well? he’s almost certain that yes, she has. eyes open wide as he shakes his head, cheeks flushed with embarrassment because this is something jesse’s strange friends would do, not billy. “i’m nineteen, twenty this november,” he admits truthfully, staring at her in utter disbelief. a child, lord almighty, she’s a child. the thought makes his nauseous, butterflies evaporating from his belly.

“no,” he’s quick to protest, hearing her wonder aloud whether he’d like her to go skinny dipping with him. he cuts the flirting all at once, bashful eyes leaving her face, shamed. he should have known she was just a child still, the teddy bears he’d glimpsed in her room, the bubbly personality befitting a young teenage girl. he wants to kick himself for failing to put two and two together. “what time do you serve dinner to your goat? she already ate?” he’s so embarrassed, his brain fixated on how he’s just fallen in love with a child, disgusted beyond belief with himself, that he wishes she could just give him a moment to recover by himself. he doesn’t know how he’ll look her in the eyes again, but he does know this playful bickering has to end. fifteen might be a woman grown to most men, jesse and his friends surely wouldn’t mind, but he’d rather bite off and swallow his own tongue than agree with them. “lucy gray, why didn’t you tell me sooner? that you were fifteen? you should have. i wouldn’t have acted like an idiot around you. i’m sorry.”