biloybiloy - Tumblr blog

[biloybiloy]

Love, I’ll choose you over everything. I’ll choose you over the things that I can’t understand. Over the fights and sleepless nights. I’ll choose you over the fears and the doubts. Over the hard times and those times that I might feel like giving up. I’ll choose you over pain, over what other people may think or see. Love, I’ll choose you. As long as you keep me. As long as you choose me too.

(via sandarafreedompark)

[biloybiloy]

She paces around the room, searching hard for the right words to say. “I don’t think he ever truly loved me,” she whispered. “If he did, he wouldn’t have been able to breathe as easily as he did when he left me.” Her best friend paused for a while. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced at her broken best friend with relaxed eyes. “Then why did he say it so often, and with such certainty?” “Because he was a dreamer,” she continued. “He knew how it would all go down. He continuously brought himself down and proved time and time again that he only wanted me for my body. He showed no effort. I cried every night for him because I wanted him to be okay and he never shed a single tear for me. He kept me not because he fought for me; but because every night he would whisper a breathless "I love you” and it would sweep me every time.“ "You fell for it.” She felt uneasy. “He said I was the girl of his dreams,” she said, “but he made every day a nightmare.”

// b.k. (via breathless-writings)

[biloybiloy]

And how phenomenally tragic it is to have so many words you wish to say, but they only burn in your chest; they are never spoken.

// b.k. (via breathless-writings)

[biloybiloy]

I met you and the storm inside of me finally stopped raging. I met you and the demons in my head faded away at last. I met you and it all began to make sense.

// b.k. // it’s you, it’ll always be you (via breathless-writings)

[biloybiloy]

I handed him my heart with shaky hands. “Please take care of it,” I whispered, “everyone else has shattered it.” He gazed into my eyes and accepted my most fragile possession into his lovely existence. “I will, darling. Don’t worry.” It was my fault not to have known all the while that he was slowly tightening his grip. I handed him my whole heart with hope in my veins that he could take care of it. Instead, my worst fears came alive. In the most deceiving, beautiful and tragic way: He shattered it.

// b.k. // trust issues (via breathless-writings)

[biloybiloy]

“How did you do it?” she asks her friend, shards of her broken heart causing her to choke on the words. “Do what?” “How did you let him go? How did you go from having a best friend to share everything with, to so suddenly having nothing at all?” “It was like knives,” she whispers, “stabbing my fragile body with every breath I took. I could not escape the thought of him. I didn’t know that the absence of a single person could weigh my heart so heavily.” She closes her eyes for a moment and remembers the strength it took to make the choice to pick herself up. “But it comes down to a choice,” she continues. “You can mope around the house all day overwhelmed with sadness and burn your toast on purpose and stain his t-shirts with tears. Or, you can get up. Get out of bed at 6am to watch the sunset. Eat expensive desserts. Exercise. Check out abandoned coffee shops. Dance in your underwear. Laugh until you cry because you’re finally laughing for yourself. You have to take care of yourself and realize that new beginnings are on the way and they will be beautiful. It’s hard to let go of it all. I know it is. But when the choice comes along, you have to choose yourself.”

it’s okay to be alone (via breathless-writings)

[biloybiloy]

I don’t know if it’s me, my exhaustion, or the whiskey in my hand; but it seems like lately the days are running together and I can’t stop myself from missing you.

KG (via foreverkennady)

[biloybiloy]

[biloybiloy]

unrequited love i hate phone calls but if it’s you, i can talk for hours or just listen to your stories  about someone else. and this is not okay at all. but what can i do? i am always weak when it comes to you. everytime i make rules so i can stop loving you, i can always find ways to change them so i can beg the universe to draw me closer to you, once again. i tell myself, “i’m sorry” all the time, but in the end i just make the same mistakes enough for the world to call me stupid and the gods to stop accepting my apologies. if it’s 4 in the morning and you need to see love through hugs & exclamation marks, call me. i want my hands through your hair, my arms around your neck, yours around my waist but you only love me when the sun is gone and it’s time to talk about how someone out there is wasting all your love, dummy. look here. it is warmer right here, with me. whoever is pulling your strings away from where i am, i hope they’re pushing you closer to someone who will love you in ways you want to be loved. i’ll try to write shitty poems about you while waiting. & i don’t know how long but it seems like i have a lot of things to write about.

1836 / mc (via procastiwriters)

[biloybiloy]

My biggest fear is that he likes the idea of me more than my true reality…. But the truth is I need to learn to appreciate myself without someone else’s validation…. And the reality is I just don’t know how….

Uncomfortably numb (via procastiwriters)

[biloybiloy]

Lost, when awake. Found again, when dreaming.

Jerry Saintilus (via wnq-writers)

[biloybiloy]

I cannot keep it all inside my head, the information transforms into madness the feelings transform into madness the echoes of my human loneliness transform into a scratchy madness. madness is a process of recycling thoughts over and over. A switch stuck on a laundry spin cycle of a 30 year old washing machine that continues to wonder if its still of any use.. what is my output? Do I at the very least clean all these dirty rags that I take into my soul..these projects?

I overwhelm my circuitry with all of it…my attachment to the nuances of this old world. How much longer til I reach my sandblasted zen? I’d give it all away again, as I have several times already, for that nicotine comfort of life, minus the smoke.

And so I write..this is my breath work meditation, dictated onto a pixel board. No audience necessary.  I need to let the words and pictures out before the ink poison seeps into my blood. I try to simplify my life, to slow down the flow, but the pauses in between events, they are the quiet moments that dispel my peace. I cannot comfortably be alone. My addictions keep me chained to human contact, physical or digital.. And yet I feel so always out of place with the human race.

What do i want? What do i want? What do i want? I seem to keep this a secret from myself for some wicked reason..as if to prolong the mystery a little longer. God forbid I discover my purpose sooner than needed, boredom may be the fear of fears..I suppose existential distress will have to do for now. I’m supposed to know everything..I’m supposed to know it all from the depths of my inside, but all these doubts and distractions keep my busy on the surface. My face has worry wrinkled into the skin. My eyes are turning grey, their gaze hollow, lost in some past or future. I am not here right now. I haven’t been for a while, a walking answering machine with a broken dial tone, a slow pulse of a lifeline with a squeal of a beep. beep.. beep… beep..

Please leave a message.

[biloybiloy]

Instead of being his priority, you were only an option, a second choice, all this time. And that’s not what you deserve to be. That’s not what you should settle for, never, no matter how much you think you love him. No matter how much he says he loves you. Because in the long run it won’t make you happy. And you have every right to tell him that this is not what you want.

don’t sell yourself short n.j. (via procastiwriters)

[biloybiloy]

I’m scared of the love I have for you. Because I know it will ruin me. And I also know that I will let it. I love hard.

sandarafreedompark  (via wnq-writers)

[biloybiloy]

No. I am not blaming you. I chose you and it’s all my fault. I fell into your words when I should’ve hold on to my guards. I broke my divisions when I should’ve tighten my reservations. I let you in and let you explore inside me. You saw me bare and fragile and generous infront of you. I let you touch me in my most vurnerable parts hoping that you will caress me with care. I told you that I am breakable. I showed you that I am. I chose you and it’s my mistake. I let you ripped me up with your promises. I should’ve been more wiser because I thought I was wise enough before I met you. I gave you all of me. Things that I’ve kept. Things that is not so attractive about me. I’ve given you myself whole without minding that you can drop me just like that. But no. I do not blame you for fooling me. I am not even mad at you. It’s just that, I gave you the trust that I’ve been earning for a very long time and I thought you will never waste it. But I’m wrong. Yes, I’m the wrong one. You’re not. I believe that you are a wonderful person. And I won’t regret the time and my everything you have thrown away. Because when I let you in, I know that you will break me. But I also figured out that even I knew it for a fact, I will let you. Don’t worry. I’ve expected this to happen. I just didn’t thought it would be this soon.

(via procastiwriters)

[biloybiloy]

this version is from JaDine’s ASAP prod no. ..here’s the link for the #OTWOL episode (CLICK ME).. NOTE: he made small changes with this ASAP version

Sampung Bagay Na Natutunan Ko Mula Sa Mga Umiibig by Juan Miguel Severo

Una, napakatamis ng mga simula Ng mga umaga na ang bumubungad sayo Ay ang kanyang mukha Nag-aalmusal ka ng kilig At pagdating sa gabi ay baon mo s'ya Hanggang sa paghimbing dito, Dito mo matututunan ang tunay Na kapangyarihan ng isang ngiti Ng ibang kamay na humahawi sa'yong buhok Ng mga mata na sumisisid sa'yong kaluluwa

Pangalawa, napaka daling maging kampante At masanay sa pagmamahal Ang malunod sa kapangyarihan ng kami, Ng inyo,ng tayo Ang malimutan ang pangangailangan ng kaniya Paano naman ang kanya lang? Paano naman ang ako? Napaka daling malunod sa akalang ang iyo, Ay mananatiling iyo

Pangatlo, mapapagod ka, pero,

Pang-apat, ang tunay na pag-ibig Hindi naman dapat sinusukuan diba?Pero,

Panglima, ang tunay na pag-ibig ay hindi parating sapat Kapag ang mga pakpak na binigay nito sa'yo ay bumigat At naging kadena ni ayaw kang patayuin, Kapag ang langit na minsang nilipad mo Ay naging kulungan na Na nasa'yo naman ang susi at kandado Pero ayaw mo pa ring lisanin

Pang-anim, ang pinaka mabagsik mang apoy ay mamamatay Maghanda ka sa sakit Pero wag kang mag-aalaga ng galit Ito ang pang,

Pang-pito, iiwanan kang puno ng sugat at pilat at paltos nito, Iiwan ka nitong abo,

Pangwalo, maghanda ka sa wakas,

Pang-siyam, Alam ko parang hindi ka pa talaga handa sa wakas Pero wala naman kase yata talagang  nagiging handa sa wakas Pero nandiyan na siya, ang wakas, At sa wakas,

Pangsampu, mahalin mo pa siya Sa tingin, sa tanaw Mula sa abo na iniwan ng dati ninyong apoy Mahalin mo pa sya Pero kapag ang pakpak ng dati ninyng pag-ibig Ay naging gapos na Kapag ang langit sa puso na minsan mong nilipad ay binilanggo ka, Mahalin mo sya, Sa huling pagkakataon, Pagkatapos, Bitaw na.

[biloybiloy]

Kakampi natin ngayon ang oras, pero hindi natin alam kung kailan tayo tatalikuran nito…

Juan Miguel Severo, OTWOL Spoken Word And time has its way of revealing things… (via your-future-md)