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Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry

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i wish i had critical thinking skills so i could talk about dead plate the way other fans talk about dead plate like the obe post i reblogged talking ab how differently vince treats rody compared to the other cooks or how manon was right abt rody being too self sacrificing but all i can think about is "hehe silly cannibalistic toxic yaoi" or "wow both vince and rody are so pretty"

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A little fic about Vince the day before things went to hell. Warnings for mentions of cannibalism, murder, blood.

It will go like this:

[Un]

“What’s this?” Rody will ask, surprised as he looks down at the plate you present him with. You will keep him late, after all the chefs have left for the day. Just the both of you, so you can savor the reaction, all to yourself.

“It’s-” for you. It’s a gift. It’s that ex-girlfriend you can’t shut up about, but who will now nourish you in ways you could never return. It’s all your love, neatly presented. It’s my heart, bared before you. It’s yours. Take it.

“-leftovers.” you will say instead.

[Also on Ao3]

[Deux]

Rody will take the plate, equal parts confused and curious. Tilt his head to the side and hum, like some mutt. He’ll eat it here, in the restaurant, he won’t take it home like he’s been doing all week. You won’t give him the choice.

He’s so stupid- too uncultured to comment on the presentation, but that’s not what you will focus on. 

The fork will sink into the meat, into its pre-cut slices, nicely. You will note the way his lips wrap around the utensil, how his eyes will widen as the flavor seeps in. Pupils will dilate and his breath will catch, so clear and damning in the echoing kitchen. You’ll note the way his throat bobs around the swallow, and the way he will grin.

[Trois]

“Vince!” Rody will look at you. His eyes will shine, that warm honey golden brown that haunts your dreams. His gaze is admiring, reverent. “This is amazing!”

You won’t be able to stop the way your heart will thump in your chest, so loud you will wonder if he can hear it. You’ve never been able to so far. Maybe it will be more. Maybe it will beat so fast it’ll leave you feeling winded. How will you cope? You should prepare for that.

“I know.” you will respond, airily, after taking a deep breath.

He’ll dig in, clean his plate with a gusto, the way no one has ever done before. It will disgust you, the way he shoves food in his mouth. Uncultured pig. But beneath the disgust will be a bone deep satisfaction that you’ve never felt before, so you can’t imagine it now.

[Quatre]

While he eats, Rody will look up at you, every emotion clear as day on his face. Like it always is. He’ll be so clearly impressed and grateful and yes, happy. You will have made him happy.

And he would say:

“Whatever you did this time, it really worked. It’s so rich and the spices are blended so well! So moist and the baste is-”

Ah. No, not that. Rody’s not- he hasn’t got a sophisticated palate to have those opinions. He’d probably chew through half a boot without noticing anything wrong.

Maybe…

“They were so wrong about you,” he will look you in the eye. Trusting, honest, raw. Your mouth waters. “Those articles. The critics. You’ve always had it in you. This is just- it’s so good, Vince! I can taste the heart that went into this.”

Yes.

[Cinq]

He’ll ask if there are any more leftovers, desperate and hungry for more. You’ll say no, that’s all you had, just to delight in the disappointment that washes over him. Of course he will- it’s the best thing he’s ever had. He’ll be ruined, after this. He won’t be able to get the taste out of his mouth let alone settle for anything other than your cooking.

Now you know. Now you are able to- to touch people, like this. Touch him like this, in a way you will never experience. That’s a power that you’ll never give up.

So you will tell him no, sorry, that’s all that was left.

“What’s your favorite food, Rody?”

“Hm?”

I’ll make it for you next. There’s plenty of meat left.

“You never told me.”

“Still don’t have one…” He rubs his chin and looks up. Where will the two of you be then? Still in the kitchen? Or will you have this conversation outside, after the dishes are left and as you shut and lock the door behind you? Every thought about her will be so far from his mind as you both leave her- what’s left of her- in the freezer.

“Although,” he’ll smile at you, cheeks flushed and oh so happy. So alive. “I guess tonight my favorite is- whatever you make!”

--

“Shit!”

The knife slips out of Vincent’s hand and clinks against the tile floor.

He blinks back to himself, away from the daydream, and scowls. His breathing is labored and his face is flushed.

“Always distracting me, even when he’s not around…”

He bends down with a sigh and picks up the knife. He takes extra care to step around the puddles of blood to make it to the sink and rinse it off. Too much blood, so much more than he’s used to, is making things more slippery than he’s used to, but the general process is the same. Second nature for him.

It doesn’t disgust him- what he’s done. Who he’s done it to. Her eyes weren’t the familiar brown he ached for. Her hair was too light, too neat, not the wild, fiery ginger mess that’s been dashing around his dining room. Barely presentable for his job but- it’s soft. Vincent knows it’s soft. His hand remembers the way it felt underneath his skin when he dried Rody off.

Vincent shivers again, and realizes the tap water is still running.

Shutting it off, he makes his way back to the counter. There’s still much to prepare before the day begins.

—

The countdown doesn’t even begin; Rody just had to go snooping where he doesn’t belong. 

Now there’s blood, his blood, that fills your mouth. His cartilage, soft and squishy between your teeth. You swallow it down. A piece of him, inside you.

Rody staggers and screams, his expression growing more horrified, pained, disgusted by the second. His eyes go buggy and he brings his left hand up to his wound, he’s crying. No. No, no, no, no-

You think about his smile. His kind, soft, moronic, naive eyes were supposed to be fixed on you, were supposed to find you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way-

He’ll never love you now.

It’s- it’s his fault. All of this. Here you were, trying to do something nice, and he spits it back in your face. It’s not like you were ever going to tell him what [who] he was eating. He could have lived in blissful ignorance. Happy, content, with you-. He would have forgotten about her eventually.

He calls you insane, and he might be right, but he doesn’t have to be so dramatic about it.

Ugh- now he’s accusing you of being a fucking cannibal, Jesus Christ. Imbecile. Your eye almost twitches in annoyance. Of course he’d jump to that conclusion, it’s not like he uses his brain to think for more than two seconds. You ought to take the other ear, for that. Or a finger. A hand.

…An arm. A leg. Your eyes trace his body, slowly.

Did- did his ear taste like anything, going down? You can’t remember. It- maybe it did. Maybe what you need is something meatier.

The girl never would have tasted like anything to you and in hindsight, of course she wouldn’t have. Maybe not even to Rody either. You never loved her, and she never loved you. Rody, though… Rody would be made with all your love. That’s what people talk about, right? That’s what you needed all along.

He comes to the realization at the same time you do. Your eyes meet. Honey brown. Alive, alive, raw.

He’s what you needed all along.

[bingbangboom666]

some dead plate fanart!! Rody and Vincent have captivated me 😤😩♥

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I just can't stop thinking about how differently Vince treats Rody.

Remember that scene with Vincent and one of the cooks on Day 3? Pretty messed up already, but one detail that makes it even worse caught my attention - cook's posture. Hands still behind his back, no struggle. Complete obedience. Employee is being humiliated and threatened, but there is no sign of resistance. It just shows how inadequately high Chef's demands are. How harsh he is.

And when we have Rody. Fella was late on his second day and also got soaked in the rain making Chef himself take care of that wet dog. Buddy ignores his intied tie even more than dirty dishes in the kitchen, talks to his boss in informal way without a second thought. And ofc can't forget about the elephant in the room - restaurant review mentioning Rody's poor service.

And yet... Vince tolerates him. He simply doesn't pressure that much or even turns a blind eye. Harsh professional who only cares about restaurant's prosperity... suddenly had a change of heart.

Cold-hearted chef: you better not be silly clumsy ginger guy with dog vibes

Rody: hey

Cold-hearted chef: 🤯🤯🤯

I just can't, my heart is melting 😭😭😭

Here, take this stupid hyperbolic meme as a reward for enduring my writing

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I'm so so normal about them don't kill me

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a loving relationship between a guy who says “wowza!” and a guy who says “hm. intriguing.”

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From the bottom of my heart I hope 2024 is a better mental health year for everyone

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Press play, the audio is worth it.

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THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

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Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

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Kinda gay to be a construction worker. What do you mean you're going down a manhole? 🤨🤔👀

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why is it that all the new addams family media from the last like 20 years has been like “oh wednesday doesn’t fit in with her family” “oh wednesday is striking out on her own and discovering her own interests” as if she’s not literally the perfect ideal addams and she doesn’t love being the perfect ideal addams meanwhile pugsley is a colorful bright-haired optimist who adopted a puppy and then joined the boy scouts until his parents called a therapist on him

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diversity win! the high school bully who steals your lunch money is bisexual

and good looking also.

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EAT EMBUP EST EM UP EAT EM UP

Reese puff

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