bippityboppitybabe

[bippityboppitybabe]

I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

[bippityboppitybabe]

y'all it's about to get really fucking humid and hot

[bippityboppitybabe]

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

[bippityboppitybabe]

not to be an american but like. air conditioning is the greatest invention of all time.

[bippityboppitybabe]

Yes. Have YOU considered that sometimes working on hard things is both necessary and worthwhile?

[bippityboppitybabe]

Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.

[bippityboppitybabe]

its kind of beyond fucked up that u don't even have to be born in the 90s to be in ur 20s anymore. like they're letting just fucking anyone be 20 now. u were born in 2004? sure yeah u can be 20 this year yeah no whatever man it's cool . what the heeellllllll

[bippityboppitybabe]

[bippityboppitybabe]

idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal

i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.

anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.

open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.

i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.

[bippityboppitybabe]

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

[bippityboppitybabe]

What the “haha millennials can’t even make phone calls” crowd fails to appreciate is that making phone calls is a far more user-hostile and physically uncomfortable experience than it was 15-20 years ago.

[bippityboppitybabe]

Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?

I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.

[bippityboppitybabe]

[bippityboppitybabe]

ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

[bippityboppitybabe]

trying to explain to tumblr that the Middle Class in not their enemy

[bippityboppitybabe]

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

[bippityboppitybabe]

legitimately my first feminist awakening as a ten year old child was realizing that girls were expected to respect “boy stuff” but boys were never expected to respect “girl stuff”