birdkid
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hey! girl in the mirror!
kagami no mukou egao no mahou kakeyou ♡
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the idea that people experiencing severe pain should be screaming, crying, flailing, and otherwise seeming to be in pain is largely unsupported by reality. is this a response that some people have to some kinds of pain? absolutely. should people who don't respond to pain in this way be dismissed or disbelieved? absolutely not.
ask anyone who deals with chronic pain. it would be exhausting to constantly project our pain in that way, and in some cases, it would make it worse. when i have a migraine, my voice becomes monotone and quiet, my movements slow down, and i don't emote much. this is my natural response to the pain, and doing so helps me avoid making it worse.
i become that clip of captain holt saying, completely monotone with a deadpan delivery: "I am in... incredible pain." screaming, emoting, rapidly moving, even crying only make my pain worse. and when i'm experiencing a level of pain that would send abled people to the emergency room, the last thing i want to do is make it worse.
i shouldn't have to perform pain in order for you to believe me.
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You know what? My disability does hold me back! I'm sick of pretending it doesn't because society only thinks we're worthy if we're actively trying to "overcome" our disabilities or that we "defy the odds". I'm sick of hearing "you can do anything you put your mind to" because that's just not true and is often invalidating of the struggles disabled people face.
I am worthy either way, regardless of whether I can contribute in a way that society deems acceptable or not.
The same applies to you! You are worthy if you can't drive, can't finish school, can't work a conventional job. You are worthy if you can't live on your own without help. You are worthy if you'll need assistance for the rest of your life. You are worthy, always.
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you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.
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it's not that I need a quiet day or a day off exactly; it's that I need a pocket of time that exists entirely outside of linear time as we know it that would allow me to get things done without time passing in the real world, and frankly, I don't think that's too much to ask.
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