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[bisexual-spiderling]

"You Should Probably Leave" | Joel x Reader oneshot

Part 1 of Play it Again, a new series where each story is a oneshot, but all are shaped around country songs.

Song: You Should Probably Leave – Chris Stapleton Summary: He works long days. You help out with Sarah, make her dinner, put her to bed when he has to stay late. And then when he gets home you help him out, too, even though you both know you should probably leave. Tags/Warnings: MDNI, 18+, smut, porn without plot, prose but kind of poetry/lyrical, sexual tension, PIV, oral (m! receiving), sub!Joel, you're Sarah's babysitter, AU! No outbreak, set in the 90s. Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I've taken the lyrics and worked them into the story, so I'd really recommend listening as you read. I've been thinking about writing this series for sooo long because country songs + Joel is a match made in heaven. If you've got any song recommendations, let me know!

It’s like a dance, a well-worn routine that you both know, practised and perfected after months of repetitions. You both know where it leads but you’ll still follow all the steps. That’s how it is.

You put Sarah to bed ages ago, spent the last few hours of babysitting on the sofa finishing up some college work, waiting for Joel to get back. His key in the door is a familiar click, the latch sticking the way it always does, his shoulder forcing it open.

You stay where you are. When he comes into the lounge his toolbelt is still strapped around his waist, the remnants of a long day’s work painted across his handsome face and strewn in dust that’s collected on the knees of his well-worn jeans and callused hands.

He pauses in the entrance, arm stretched up above him to rest on the mantle of the door, t-shirt pulling up to reveal a strip of tanned skin above his belt. There’s a glass of wine half-drunk on the coffee table beside you and your feet are tucked up under you.

Neither of you speak for several long moments. You just watch each other, the tension too delicious to break.

“You should probably leave,” He says, but you make no effort to move and he stays where he is, too, dark eyes watching you.

His expression is open, taunting, and you already know what’s going to happen. You untuck your feet and shift them onto the worn carpet, standing to step towards him. His form takes up most of the doorway, his shoulders so broad that they almost touch both sides of the frame.

When you reach it he’s looming over you, blocking the exit off from you if you wanted to leave, but you don’t. You turn into him, press your nose to the slice of skin between his shoulder and neck and inhale deeply, smell the work of his day on him: the musk of sweat, the tang of iron and sharpness of wood shavings.

“I suppose it ain’t all that late,” he says, voice rumbling through his chest, “still time for you to finish your wine.”

You won’t finish the wine, but it’s all part of the well-worn routine the two of you have. He works long days. You help out with Sarah, make her dinner, put her to bed when he has to stay late.

And then when he gets home you help him out, too. Let him relieve some of the tension that he carries in his shoulders, on his thick-set jaw. You press the first kiss here, letting the rough caress of his stubble eat into your own cheek. When you let your hands course through his hair, scratching your nails into his scalp, he leans into it, eyebrows pitching up, something like a whimper falling from his lips.

There’s a devil on your shoulders, and its urging you each towards the same predetermined end.

“We shouldn’t.” He says, but he doesn’t move away.

“Just one kiss?” You ask, feeling him relax into your touch, the bulk of him slipping down the doorframe, bringing his mouth within reach of yours.

“Alright,” He rasps back, his voice pitching with need, and you claim the last syllable with your mouth, press your lips against his, pull a moan from somewhere deep in his chest.

“Say you want me to stay,” You tell him, and he does, whispers it into your mouth, chases your tongue with his.

When he looks at you his gaze so intense it’s almost intimidating, and you recognise the look in his eyes, the need that’s behind the blown-out pupils and hazy expression.

The slow retreat to his bedroom is well-practised, the carpet belying a well-trodden route you both know. He lets you walk him backwards up the stairs, sighs when you push him against the closed door to fit your mouths together again.

Inside, his bed is unmade and you press him into it, pin his hands above his head and lick a thick strip up his neck, following the tendons to the underside of his jaw.

His moans are the chorus of this well-rehearsed dance. They spur you on as you undress him, revealing the strong lines of his chest, the thick trunks of his thighs, the impressive bulge of his cock in his briefs, already half-hard.

He twitches in your hand when you draw him out and you shift down the bed to take him into your mouth, the head of him heavy and salty on your tongue. His cock swells, the vein that spans the underside pulsing against your palm.

It’s intoxicating and dizzying and familiar, the recognisable ache in your jaw as you take him into the back of your throat, fist gripping the part of him that won’t fit.

“So good to me, darlin’” He groans, running shaking fingers through your hair, trying to sit up against the headboard.

“Relax,” you tell him, pushing him back down to lie against the rumpled duvet, “I know what you need.”

You know him and he knows you, and you both know how this goes. You pull back, work your dress up over your head and pull down your panties, which are ruined with your slick, so damp they catch on your thighs as you peel them off. Joel’s eyes widen as he watches; he can never believe you want this – want him – as much as you do.

When you sink down on his length – the fat head of his cock catching at your entrance, making the stretch delicious and white-hot – he squeezes his eyes shut tight.

You run a finger along his eyebrows, coax him to open them and he does, a muscle in his jaw fluttering as you rise up and drag your cunt back down onto him again.

“I wanna do the right thing, baby,” he tells you, as though this – the pinching heat of him between your thighs, the tremble of his hands as he clutches at the flesh of your ass – isn’t the greatest thing that’s ever happened to either of you.

But you know he hates himself for it, hates that he’s a good decade older than you, that you’re Sarah’s babysitter, that this – this twisted arrangement you have where you stay when he gets back and then end up in his bed – is the only thing that gets him through those long works days sometimes.

“I know,” you say, “but it’s getting kind of hard to resist, isn’t it?”

“You should leave,” he says, thrusting up into you, “we should – Jesus, baby, just like that – we should stop.”

You arch up off the bed, tilting your hips so that he can drive his cock deeper, bottoming out and groaning brokenly into your ear. It’s filthy. Depraved, probably: The slap of his hips as he cants them up into yours, the breathy moans that tumble from your mouth, Joel’s desperate, needy curses.

It’s easy to make him come like this: Three steady, deliberate rolls of your hips and he’s a quivering mess beneath you, his hands fisting in the sheets as he spurts hot and wet inside you.

After, you tell him you should probably leave. He makes you come with his fingers first, tells you to finish your wine, that it still ain’t that late.

And when the sun’s on your skin at 6am, he’s there watching you sleep, hoping you’ll say you’ll stay, even though you should probably leave.

[bisexual-spiderling]

[SUMMARY: Joel deals with upsetting his overly sensitive eight month pregnant wife.]

Fluff

“Baby girl, open the door” you could hear the defeat in his voice but you didn’t respond. Joel knew he fucked up and he knew he had to fix it fast.

It was 3:30 in the afternoon, Joel should’ve been here by now. Here you sat in the waiting room looking at the clock every other minute, even waiting for a ring from your cell. It was your eight month sonogram appointment. Yes, Joel had been present for each and every sonogram but this was your last one and you wanted him there. Maybe it was your hormones but you could feel the heat in your cheeks as each minute went by and not even a call from Joel. This wasn’t like him yet it still set you off. When the doctor finally called you, you could feel tears forming in your eyes knowing Joel wouldn’t make it in time.

“Maybe he got caught up today, sometimes our job can get hectic, I’m sure he ain’t mean to miss it” Tommy spoke as he drove you home. He was nice enough to pick you up when you called him in tears that Joel wasn’t there. Sarah sat silently in the back, she knew how much this meant to you, she also knew her father didn’t do this selfishly.

Not saying a word you walked straight to the room closing the door shut. Tommy and Sarah giving you your space as you waited for Joel to show up.

A half hour later Joel rushed in through the front door throwing his bag aside.

“Where is she?” He looked around as Sarah pointed at the bedroom. Tommy and her both raising their brows not knowing what to expect.

You heard the front the door close, you knew Joel must’ve been home. The second the handle of your door turned you pushed yourself up as fast you could and rushed to the bathroom. Joel walked in, attempting to stop you from closing the door, reaching you a second too late, you slammed it in his face without saying a word. Locking the door shut you turned your back to it.

“Baby girl, open the door” you could hear the defeat in his voice but you didn’t respond. Joel knew he fucked up and he knew he had to fix it fast.

“I tried to get out of work as fast as I could, honey, I swear. These assholes delayed me then my phone was dead. I was in the other side of town, I came out rushing as fast I could” he explained.

Still no response.

Upsetting a pregnant woman was the last thing Joel wanted to do, upsetting his pregnant woman was something he could not ever have. You were under a lot of stress, anxious about giving birth, your sensitivity at an all time high Joel did his best to keep you calm but clearly failed at it today.

“Honey, please…ya know it ain’t good for you and the baby to get upset like this,” you rolled your eyes wiping away a tear.

“Fuck” Joel mouthed silently rubbing his forehead. He knew how important this was for you, he knew how much you wanted him there.

“Open the door, baby” Desperation in his voice when you suddenly opened up. His dark brown eyes widening with guilt noticing how puffy your eyes were, knowing you had been crying.

“Aw Jesus, baby” he whispered.

“You know today was the last sonogram-“

“I know” he whispered with sincere understanding eyes. His voice was gentle as he took a small step forward.

“I wanted you there, I..I wanted you to see him-“

“I know, baby”

“Did today even matter to you?!” You yelled as you felt yourself about to cry all over again and he could see it.

God damn those hormones.

“Of course it did” he took a step closer to you.

“How could you even ask such a thing?” You began to sob covering your eyes, his voice coming out more aggressive than he meant to.

“Shit, baby I’m sorry” he took another step closer slowly pulling you towards him. You took a deep breath wiping your tears.

“I…I don’t even know why I’m so upset” you looked down feeling a bit embarrassed. A soft chuckle escaping his lips as he held you, gently he kissed your forehead.

“That baby boy of ours is doing a number on you, honey” Joel whispered as a million things ran through your head.

“What if…what if you don’t make it on time to his birth? I can’t do this alone, Joel-“ you began to panic.

“What if-“

“Look at me” he gently tilted your face up at him.

“Ain’t no one or anything stopping me from seeing my son be born, ya hear me?”

You nodded in silence as you looked away.

“It was such a frustrating day, not to mention that damn man at the pharmacy got my vitamins wrong again” you walked around him towards the bedroom.

“Not again, ya need me to go over there and say somethin’ to him?” You could hear the playfulness in his voice.

“Joel” you turned to him rolling your eyes placing your hands on your lower back for support. He attempted to hold back a smile, the sight of you eight months pregnant with an attitude was something else.

“Are you laughing at me?” You asked as he quickly turned serious and shook his head.

“No mam” he took a step towards you as you tilted your head looking up at him.

Joel was forever teasing you.

“Ya know, after how upset you had me today, I highly suggest-“ Joel reached in his jacket unexpectedly pulling out your favorite pack of chocolate cookies you hadn’t found anywhere near by in weeks. You gasped with excitement making a big grin appear on his face.

“Where did you find them?!” You grabbed the pack out of his hand excitedly ripping the wrapper apart. Joel watched as you eagerly took a bite, closing your eyes, sighing with pleasure. It had been weeks that you were craving them, Joel had gone around every neighborhood searching for them, it was the only good thing that came out of working on the other side of town.

“Oh…Joel you’re the best” you continued to devour the cookies making him laugh.

“Oh I’m off the hook now huh?”

“Mmmmhm” you rolled your eyes back enjoying the taste.

“Anything for you mama” he whispered leaning in with a kiss as you sat back on the bed enjoying your snack.

[bisexual-spiderling]

Hyacinth - Joel Miller x Reader

Hyacinth (Hyacinthus) - Meaning: Please forgive me

Summary: After hitting your car, Joel Miller takes you out on a date to apologize.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count: 1921

Warnings: Fluff!, slight language, reader wears makeup and a sundress but is otherwise a blank slate, Pre/no outbreak AU, no Ellie, reader was left at the altar, dinner date conversation, making out, nicknames 'sugar' and 'darlin', Joel Miller is a warning in and of himself

I'm really happy with how this turned out! Just a fluffy first date with Joel Miller. Enjoy!

In Bloom Masterlist

Likes, Comments, Reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated! ❤️

“Am I crazy?” you asked your best friend, Maria, while applying your mascara. 

“For what? Going on a date with the guy who smashed up your car?” Maria asked dryly, shrugging her shoulders while she watched you get ready. “Nah, I’ve done crazier shit.” 

“What if I remember him much more handsome than he is? Like the adrenaline made me think he was super hot?” you asked. 

“You can always invoke the code phrase and I’ll call you from ‘the hospital.’” Maria offered, putting ‘the hospital’ in air quotes. You smiled over at her and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. She smiled back at you. “Though I hope he’s not a dud. It’s about damn time you got back out there.” 

“You’re telling me,” you muttered, touching up your lipstick. You hadn’t had anything more than a hook-up since you were left at the altar two years ago, throwing yourself into work and fixing up the house you bought with your ex. 

With a final look in the mirror, you fluffed your hair and gave yourself a look of approval, then turned to Maria for final approval. 

“You look hot, babe. This guy isn’t gonna know what hit him.” 

You laughed, “Good, cuz he’s the one who hit me. Well, my car, but you know.” 

Three days ago in the grocery store parking lot, you’d been pulling into a spot when a scruffy-looking man hopped into the truck in the spot across from you, started it up, and pulled forward without looking. The front of your little sedan stood no chance against the grill of his behemoth contractor’s truck. 

He’d been incredibly embarrassed and apologetic, offering his insurance info and to pay for the damages himself. Amidst all this, you couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. Brown curls with a striking hint of gray at the temples, broad, square jaw, and his eyes. Oh, you couldn’t get enough of his eyes and their dark brownness that threatened to swallow you whole. He must’ve noticed you staring because shortly after the tow truck arrived, he asked you on a date. 

“I know this ain’t the best time and, y’know if you’ve got a boyfriend or somethin’ feel free to tell me to shut up, but uh, I was wonderin’ if you’d let me buy ya dinner Friday night? As an apology.” A light blush had risen in his cheeks and he shuffled his feet like he was nervous, so you agreed to it. The smile on his face could’ve lit up the whole city. “Great, I’ll drive.” 

You’d both laughed at his joke. 

The doorbell you installed yourself rang, pulling you back to the present. Maria went downstairs and opened the door. You turned back to the mirror for one last once-over before Maria called your name. You descended into the foyer of your house and couldn’t help the smile that rose on your face. 

Joel Miller framed in your front doorway, wearing a dark green button-down and dark wash jeans would forever be seared into your memory. He looked, in a word, delectable. When he saw you, he smiled. 

“Hey,” he said. “Ready to go?” 

“Yep,” you said, but Maria cleared her throat from where she held the door open. “Oh! Joel, this is my friend Maria. Maria, this is Joel.” 

They muttered hellos and you grabbed your purse, muttering to Maria that no hospital visit was necessary. She smirked her knowing smirk and nodded, bidding you good night. 

Joel brought you to a nice Italian place, behaving like the perfect Southern Gentleman the whole time. He’d opened doors for you, pulled out your chair, and kept his hands to himself other than a hand at the small of your back to guide you to the table. You’d thought manners like this had gone the way of 8-track players and rotary phones, but you were utterly charmed by him.

While you looked over the menu, you couldn’t help but steal glances at him in the candlelight. You didn’t know he’d been doing the same since he picked you up until he cleared his throat. 

“Uh, you look really beautiful tonight,” he said. You could tell he was nervous — dark brown eyes darting all over, fingers tapping on the table.

You smiled warmly at him to try and ease his nerves, “You look really nice, too, Joel. I’ve been looking forward to this since you hit my car.” 

Your assurance seemed to calm him and he chuckled, “Me too, actually. Best accident I’ve ever been in. Well, second best.” 

“What’s the first?” you asked, curious. 

A pink hue tinged his cheeks and he looked down at the table. “My daughter. She wasn’t planned, but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“You have a daughter?” 

“Yeah, is that,” he cleared his throat again, “is that an issue?”

“God, no!” you insisted, “So you’re divorced? I hope?” you joked. 

“Uhh, her mom split before we got married. Haven’t heard from her since.” He muttered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as the server came over and took your orders. 

When the server left, Joel wouldn’t meet your gaze. Before you got the chance to ask about his daughter he leaned forward a bit and made eye contact. “I’m sorry, I don’t do this often. I think the last date I went on was when Sarah was in preschool so it’s been a while.” 

Because you had a faulty filter, or because you wanted him to know you knew how awkward dating was you blurted, “I was left at the altar two years ago. So I haven’t dated much either.” 

“Really?” His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. 

“Yeah. We’d been together for six years, I followed him out here for his job, and then on the big day — poof! He disappeared. Two days later, he called from Florida and said he’d gotten a job offer he couldn’t refuse but he didn’t want to uproot the life I had built here,” you scoffed at the bitterness of your memory, washing it down with a sip of wine.

In the dimness of the restaurant his features softened, but you didn’t see pity in his eyes. Only understanding. 

And damn if it wasn’t exactly what you needed. 

Joel, you were coming to realize, was exactly what you needed. 

“Well he’s a goddamn moron,” Joel said. “Only spent a few hours with ya and I can tell.” 

Your heart fluttered when his big hand landed on top of yours on the table. The weight of his hand on top of yours felt incredibly intimate, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to mind. In fact, you really liked it.  

“How old is Sarah now?” you asked, not moving your hand.  

“Almost fourteen.” 

You couldn’t help your reaction — your eyebrows shot up and you tried the mental math. Joel wasn’t that much older than you, maybe mid-thirties, late thirties max, so if his daughter was a teenager he had her in his early twenties. 

“That must’ve been hard,” you said, turning your hand over under his so you were palm-to-palm and squeezing his hand gently, “Raising her on your own.” 

Joel nodded and squeezed back, “Yeah, but my brother helps out and working for myself helps too.” 

“What do you do?”

“I’m a contractor.” 

You lit up at that, mentioning all the little house projects you’d attempted and the two of you chatted about how much subway tiling a bathroom sucks until your entrees arrived. 

You kept talking as you ate, finding more and more topics as the night wore on. Joel agreed to split a tiramisu even though he “didn’t much like sweets,” which you giggled at. 

“Me neither, but tiramisu is the exception.” 

You let him have the first bite, and he nodded in pleasure. “Yeah, that’s pretty damn good.”

Once the tiramisu was gone and the server dropped the check, you did the check dance, but he insisted that tonight was about him making amends so he should pay. You conceded, but only after insisting that next time was on you. 

He’d raised an eyebrow at you, dark eyes getting somehow darker, “There’s gonna be a next time?” 

Returning his smile, you nodded, “If you’d like to. I know I would.” 

Joel finished signing the receipts and stood up, extending a large hand down for you to take. He lifted you up and your body filled with heat at his gaze. Even though you’d just eaten, he looked hungry. 

“Me too, sugar,” he said lowly, lacing his fingers between yours and leading you out to his truck. Again, he opened the door for you like a gentleman and you could feel his eyes on you as you climbed in. You watched him round the front of the truck and get into the driver’s seat, eyes fixed on his hands as he turned the key and made a show of double-checking before he backed out of the parking spot which made you laugh. 

You couldn’t help your eyes landing on him every few minutes as he drove you home, talking incessantly about his daughter. It was incredibly endearing how enamored he was with his kid, how much he admired her accomplishments and how he wished he could spend more time with her without work getting in the way. You could tell this was a man who loved deeply, was loyal to the core, and would carve his own heart out of his chest to make those he loved happy. 

You were half in love with him already, but you shoved that thought away because it was way too soon.

Joel turned down your street and pulled into your driveway, hopping out and opening your door yet again. He helped you down and you kept hold of his hand. 

“Walk you to your door?” he asked, voice husky and eyes dark. You nodded and he led you by the hand onto your porch. It was like something out of a movie. The warm night breeze wafted his spicy cologne toward you, making you lean in closer. His eyes bounced from your eyes to your lips, his own lips parted. From this close you admired each of the gray hairs blooming along his temple and in his short beard. 

“Can I kiss you, darlin’?” he asked, accent thicker than it had been. 

“Yes please,” you breathed, and he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was warm, soft yet firm, like the first bite into a perfectly ripe peach. He tasted like tiramisu and your hands wandered up to his chest. Underneath his shirt, you could feel his pulse quickening along with your own as his hands came to rest at your hips. 

You wanted more, wanted to deepen the kiss and pull his firm, broad body flush against your own — 

But then your front door opened, revealing Maria. 

“Oh! Sorry, thought I heard…”

You and Joel broke apart at your best friend’s interruption. Joel looked sheepish, burying his hands in his pockets. 

“Give us a sec,” you said to Maria, who shut the door. Years of friendship told you she was eavesdropping on the other side of the door, so you kept it brief. 

“I had a really, really great time tonight, Joel,” you said. 

He smiled down at you, brushing some hair behind your ear. “Me too. You busy tomorrow night?”

You shook your head, “Free as a bird.” 

“Good. Pick you up at seven?” 

“It’s a date.” 

[bisexual-spiderling]

Do you think you could write a nervous Joel fic... like he's older and a single dad and hasn't dated in a REALLY REALLY long time...but he's still really sweet, maybe he has to stop and eat reader cos he's about to cum too soon or something 🤷‍♀️😭

Hey, babe!! So I hope this is what you were hoping for! It's super tender and I did end up listening to Hozier for a good portion of it, so do with that information what you will 😅

Also, I kind of did something a bit different and wrote it more from Joel's perspective, but it's still in 2nd person (pronouns = you)! Pls lmk how you feel about it ❤

Pairing: Older Joel Miller x afab!reader

Tags/warnings: Age gap (not specified), piv sex, oral sex (f), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, established relationship, (almost) premature ejaculation, accidental love confessions 🤭, self deprecating Joel™, big dick Joel™, kissing, stuff I'm probably forgetting

W/C: 1.9k

Summary: Your and Joel's first time together turns into so much more.

What Matters

“Are you sure, baby?” 

Joel watches as your eyes flick up to him, only kindness and patience in them. Even as you smile warmly and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him to you, he still has a sense of cautiousness in his movements. You’ve probably lost track of how many times he’s asked you if you’re sure. 

“Yes, Joel, I’m sure,” you laugh breathily. 

You’re both lying in his bed, half-naked. There’s a soft summer breeze coming in through the window and rustling the sheer curtains. The sun’s going down, but just barely, causing a perfect golden hue to coat the room. He can’t help but think that you look even more gorgeous than usual in this lighting.

Joel tries to ignore the nervousness in his stomach as he softly kisses your jaw and nuzzles up to you. He’s not stupid, he knows that you know he’s just trying to waste time, but you let him. You’re so fucking sweet like that. Always making him feel so wanted and appreciated. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you in this way, but that he’s worried he won’t be perfect for you. He wants to be able to show you affection in the same way that you show him. 

But what if he can’t?

You’re younger, after all, and he’s not been with a woman in so long. Maybe not since Sarah’s mom. If that’s the case, it’s been about fifteen, sixteen years. Point in case, you’re probably used to boys who can last longer and can make you come every time. What if he can’t? What if it’s been so long now, that he only lasts a couple of minutes? 

It terrifies him, the prospect that you may be disappointed in his performance. What if you decide to leave him because he’s not enough to get you off? No, he realizes, you would never do that. You’re so good, so thoughtful and generous and patient. You’d wait for him, help him get back to the point where he used to be. 

But that’s not what he wants. He wants to be good for you now. 

“Joel?” 

His name falling from your lips has his head raising back up. You look into his eyes with a desperation that he simply can’t ignore. 

“Please,” you whisper before planting a feather-light kiss to his lips. He nods slowly before he can think about it. 

“Alright, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” 

And he does, he knows it. He just hopes he can do it right. 

You’re already prepped. He spent probably half an hour fingering you to orgasm even though you had begged for the real thing each time you fell apart on his hand. It’s another thing he was worried about—being so big. Joel’s not a super cocky man by any means, but he is aware of his…attributes. 

He watches you carefully as he grasps his cock and guides it to your slippery entrance. Your eyes flutter shut as he pushes in, giving you about an inch each time he thrusts. His jaw goes slack once he’s about halfway in. You’re so fucking warm and wet and inviting. He keeps going, trying to keep his breathy whines at bay. He’s again reminded of just how long it’s been since he’s felt something other than the palm of his hand around himself. 

“Shit, baby,” he breathes as he bottoms out. He closes his eyes in concentration and lets his head hang next to yours. He already feels like he might blow his load at any second. You bring a hand up to cup his head and thread his curls through your fingers, holding him close. His breathing is heavy when he lifts himself back up to look into your eyes. 

His heart seems to skip a beat when he sees the adoration you’re looking at him with. It kills him every time. And no matter how many times you tell him that he deserves all your affection, he knows he’ll still find a lingering doubt in the back of his mind. There’s a reason the two of you have only been “together” for about four months even though you’ve been shamelessly flirting for about a year. 

It was just too good to be true. For such a sweet, gentle thing like you to want a rough old man like him. He was never the one to initiate anything, but he knows you’ve been aware that he had his sore eyes set on you since you met. How could he not? He’s never met anyone so kind and considerate. It was impossible to deny you of him any longer when it was one of the only things you’ve ever wanted for yourself. 

“You okay?” Your honeyed voice reaches his ears—or his good ear, rather—and he smiles at you. 

“‘Course, baby. Jus’ gotta give me a second, alright?” He can feel his cheeks getting a bit rosy at the confession. “It’s been a minute.” 

You nod, still no hesitation or any sign of regret. God, what did he do to deserve you? 

Once he collects himself, he pulls out just barely, and a groan tumbles from his mouth to mingle with your soft moan. He’s already starting to sweat from the effort of not coming too soon as he starts to push into you at a slow but rhythmic pace. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and tuck your head into his chest as you whimper with his thrusts. 

“You feel so good,” you whine. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, so d’ you. “Like goddamn heaven.” And you do; overwhelmingly so.

He cradles your head and lowers the two of you even more to deepen his thrusts. He knows he’s found your spot when your breath catches and you start to tighten around him every time he pumps his hips. Unfortunately, this makes it a lot harder for him to keep his composure. 

“H-honey, I have to pull out,” he grits out. He’s so embarrassed, it hasn’t even been five minutes. He won’t last long enough for you to come before him.

But you just nod into him, even though you must be devastated by the loss of your orgasm. “It’s okay, Joel,” you breathily assure him. 

He pulls out and squeezes the base of his cock, out of breath. He doesn’t meet your gaze as he starts to apologize.

“I’m sorry, baby, I—” 

“Joel,” You stop him by carefully grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at you. “It’s okay.” You nod, waiting for him to do the same before you continue. “Take as much time as you need. I love you no matter what. This does not determine—” 

You both realize what you said at the same time. Joel’s eyes widen and his chest feels like it caved into itself. Your lips stay still, parted in the middle of your sentence. Joel doesn’t realize tears have gathered in his eyes until his vision starts to blur and a smile spreads across his face. 

You love him. You said it. And he believes you. 

“I love you too, baby,” he whispers and lets his forehead rest against yours. “So damn much.” Fuck his age and whoever might see a problem with you being together. He wants this, and you want this, and that’s all that matters. 

Then you’re both laughing shakily, pressing kisses to each other’s lips. He only stops to start trailing them down your body instead, watching you writhe as his mustache tickles your bare skin. 

“Joel, p-please,” you beg quietly. Joel just huffs a small laugh through his nose as he lays himself between your legs, ignoring his protesting knees as he admires the entirety of you laying out just for him. You look fucking beautiful covered in a thin sheen of sweat atop his sheets, needy and panting all for him. 

He doesn’t waste too much time before putting his mouth on your sweet pussy, his tongue dragging up your slit to flick at your clit. Joel moans at your taste, sending vibrations racing toward your swollen bud. Your hips buck as your hands fly to grasp at his hair, tugging lightly and making his eyes roll back. 

He feasts on you like his life depends on it, worshiping you with all he has. He takes turns in running his tongue up you, fucking you with it the best he can, and suckling on your clit. He looks like a damn mess as he does so, his eyes not leaving your cunt unless he’s watching your face contort with pleasure. When you make eye contact with him, he knows he must look fucked out and desperate just based on the way you groan and lay your head back. 

It doesn’t take much for you to get to the edge, and it takes even less for him to push you over. You let out sharp, whiny sounds as he sucks on your clit and slips a couple of fingers inside of you to grip on to. Your entire body goes tense, and Joel has to resist the urge to smirk against you as you shake with the force of your orgasm. 

By the time you’re coming down, he’s back over you and slipping his tongue inside your mouth to share your taste. You moan into the kiss and pull him closer as he once again glides his tip into your cunt. Just as he had hoped, the distraction calmed him down enough to hopefully give him some more time. 

You both melt into each other as he bottoms out, the tip of his swollen cock hitting your cervix and making your thighs squeeze his torso. He starts at a faster pace than last time, too deep in his lust-filled haze to even try to slow down now. 

You pull away from his mouth to start leaving love bites on his neck, making his cock twitch inside of you with each pinch. He can feel you smile against his skin, and knows that you’ve found his secret. He does like a little pain with his pleasure. You keep going, sucking and biting marks before licking soothingly over them and moving to the next spot. You taste him like you’re addicted, like you could never possibly get enough.

It still doesn’t take him as long as he would like to before he starts to feel his balls drawing up and his thighs start to shake. His head goes foggy as he tries to hold on for you, but it’s too fucking much. He can’t hold it off when you feel so good around him. It’s like torture to stave off his orgasm when he’s thrusting into your soft heat. 

“Where d’ you want me, honey?” Joel asks you, his voice strained. 

“Inside,” you whisper against his neck without a second thought.

And it throws him over. He groans your name as his body stutters and his balls empty, coating your walls with his milky spend. It seems to go on forever. Each time he thinks he’s almost done, there’s another spurt and another wave of pleasure that tugs him deeper into euphoria. 

When it does end, he lets himself half-collapse on top of you. You embrace him with welcoming arms and the two of you catch your breath together in the now dark bedroom. He only pulls out once sleep threatens to take the both of you. A shower, snack, and a glass of water later, you both snuggle up together and fall asleep with content smiles and full hearts. 

*****

Want to read more requests or submit your own? Try this link!

[bisexual-spiderling]

Masterlist

Series

Tides of Desire

Ongoing: TLOU no outbreak AU. Joel Miller is a luxury yacht captain running charters in the Caribbean. You join the crew as a deckhand and unexpectedly complicate Joel's peaceful existence. Basically the TLOU bunch on a Below Deck yacht.

Chapter One - A Prelude to the Open Sea

Chapter Two - The Adventure Begins

Chapter Three - The Cut of One's Jib

Chapter Four - Cut and Run

Chapter Five - Red Sky in Morning

Chapter Six - Edging Forward

Chapter Seven - From Stem to Stern

Chapter Eight - As the Crow Flies

Chapter Nine - Close Quarters

Chapter Ten - On Your Beam Ends

Chapter Eleven - All at Sea

Chapter Twelve - Turn the Corner

Epilogue - Coming soon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fall Into Me

dbf!Joel x f!reader, ongoing

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Chapter One: The Day That I Met You

Chapter Two: It All Turned Around

Chapter Three: No Mirror for Monsters

Chapter Four: Until I had met you there was no sun in my sky

Chapter Five: My whole world came alive

Chapter Six: And I knew my heart wasn't mine

Chapter Seven: I'll Catch You Darlin'

One-shots

Lost Cause

Summary: Joel thinks you shouldn’t waste your time on him. You disagree. Oneshot.

Warnings: Explicit MDNI; Jackson-era Joel; canon-ish but also not; drinking; mentions of cigarettes, drugs, dark thoughts, and death; unprotected p in v; oral (m and f receiving); interesting use of red wine; unspecified age gap; despair and hope.

Inspired by the song Save Me by Jelly Roll. Some of the lyrics have been woven into the story.

[bisexual-spiderling]

Hopefully Growing Masterlist

Please note that my content includes 18+ stuff, so if you're younger than 18 years old please do not interact with me or my posts for both your and my safety. Thank you! 💜

* = smut

Sebastian Stan

you're mine*: Mob!Sebastian doesn't like it when his baby girl smiles at other men.

her own galaxy: Sebastian's babygirl is an artist and he's her canvas.

Stackie

touch the sky: Fluff ft. Papa!Anthony Mackie

something lent*: Mob!Sebastian shares his puppy with mob!Anthony for a night.

Bucky Barnes

love is patient: No smut + excessive loving on Bucky.

fingers fantasy fulfilled*: If Bucky's doll wanted his metal fingers then that was exactly what she was going to get.

needy baby*: Bucky's little baby has a wet dream.

just another perfect day (Nonnie ask #1): A domestic blurb ft. daddy!Bucky.

dada, open up (Nonnie ask #2): Daddy!Bucky's little obsessed with feeding him from her plate.

chef daddy adventures (Nonnie ask #3): Daddy!Bucky dealing with a little who's a picky eater.

daddy's pretty (Aqua's ask #8): Bucky's little reflects on how beautiful Bucky is to her.

making daddy okay again (Nonnie ask #9): Bucky isn't being himself and his little attempts to help fix that.

for your sake: Mafia!Daddy!Bucky would do anything to keep his little angel, the one and only person he ever goes soft for, safe.

heavenly sweet: Chubby!Pâtissière!Daddy!Bucky teaching his baby to make pie.

of course you do: The one where reader braids Bucky's hair.

safe (Nonnie ask #11): Mafia!Daddy!Bucky's little gets attacked by an intruder and has to remain big to fight.

when period attacks (Nonnie ask #12): Daddy!Bucky comforting extra little little!reader when her period is being mean.

signature needed (Nonnie ask #13): Mafia!Daddy!Bucky lashes out on his little angel and has to find a way to make it up to her.

empty (Aqua ask #14)*: Bucky's little feels empty when Daddy's not filling her.

tickle time (Nonnie ask #15)*: Bucky's little being obsessed with him tickling her.

cozy and clingy (WW Nonnie ask #16): Mafia!Daddy!Bucky cozily chilling with his angel on a rainy day.

never too much (Nonnie ask #17): Daddy!Bucky stuffie shopping with his little.

no licking (Nonnie ask #18): Chubby!Pâtissier!Daddy!Bucky catches his little one licking the dough.

Teeny tiny blurb (Gracie's ask #19)*: Jealous!Mob!Daddy!Bucky Barnes fingering reader in front of the new boy who keeps checking her out.

all of you (Nonnie ask #20)*: Daddy!Bucky loves on his girl the way she deserves.

secretly a stuffie (Lil Liz ask #21): Chubby!Pâtissier!Daddy!Bucky is a stuffie according to his bonbon.

too hot (Lil Liz ask #22): Chubby!Pâtissier!Daddy!Bucky helps his little one out when she unknowingly bites into a chilli pepper.

falling for angel: (Nonnie ask #23): How Mafia!Bucky and his angel 'met'.

barefoot (Nonnie ask #24): Bucky's angel learns the hard way about the consequences of walking around with no shoes on.

officially daddy (Nonnie asks #25 & #26): the first time angel calls mafia!Bucky 'daddy'.

my bucky?: Bucky's angel finally sees the hidden side of him.

don't call me daddy: In a world where little are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.

don't call me daddy II

don't call me daddy III

don't call me daddy IV

don't call me daddy V

perfect to me: Chubby!Bucky runs into his ex, who manages to mess with his head, bringing his insecurities to the surface again. His girl takes it upon herself to show him how perfect he is.

in the far corner of the forest I: For the longest time, the kingdom has used Bucky as their number one fighter, forcing him to win their wars for them. The only thing he asked for in return after he was done was that they give him a wife, and they did. They handed him the orphan he picked on a silver platter; it wasn't like anyone would miss her. It would've been perfect if she actually wanted to be there though.

in the far corner of the forest II

in the far corner of the forest III

in the far corner of the forest IV

SamBucky

learn to be careful*: Bucky's carelessness during a mission earns him punishment from reader and Sam.

broken rules*: Sam and Bucky's rules were not made to be broken and when they are, punishment ensues.

don't hide (Nonnie ask #4): Sam and Bucky's Little gets hurt and hides it from them.

unwanted (Nonnie ask #7): Sam and Bucky's Little runs away.

misunderstanding (WW Nonnie ask #10): Sam and Bucky have a fight and their little thinks it's over between them.

something lent*: Sharing is caring, no?

Stucky

daddy's best girl*: Uncle Steve just doesn't get how good Bucky's girl really is.

bratty angel (Nonnie ask #5): Bucky's little being bratty with Uncle!Steve when he's babysitting. Alternative ending (Nonnie ask #6).

Lee Bodecker

soft belly lovin'*: Reader's favourite sheriff gets insecure so she reassures him in her own way.

pinocchio*: Sheriff Lee Bodecker knows a lie when he hears one.

Ransom Drysdale

i own you*: Ransom bought himself a new toy and toys can't speak; they can't say no.

All dividers are by the beautifully talented: @firefly-graphics 💜

[bisexual-spiderling]

Domestic!Lee Mini Series

The following one shots were all written with the same reader in mind so I am combining them under the banner of a mini-series, in the sequence in which I imagined them to be. However, each can still be read on its own.

Read on AO3.

Strawberry Syrup (fluff + implied smut)

Reader bakes Lee's favourite cake for his birthday.

Miss You (fluff + mild smut)

A lazy morning in the Bodecker house.

fic moodboard by the talented & loving @starryevermore

Ours (fluff + angst + smut)

Reader has some news she needs to share with Lee (bonus: how Lee met reader).

Vow (smut)

A wedding night drabble.

[bisexual-spiderling]

Hello. I don’t know anything about posting fics on here. Because this is going to be my first one.

This was inspired by @slothspaghettiwrites & their reply to the idea of a most wonderful anon who goes by K.

I wrote this on my phone & tried to edit to the best of my ability. So, please be gentle. (And just so we’re clear, I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote this & even less now that I’m posting. 😬😅) 

I would also like to apologize in advance for the title. Just to be safe. *cringe*

Strawberry Syrup

Read on AO3.

tags: fluff/ angst?/ domestic/ slight ddlg

Lee likes strawberries. Ripe and plump between his teeth, the sensation of that sweet juice dribbling over his lips. Needless to say, he loves strawberry desserts.

Keep reading

[bisexual-spiderling]

Lee Bodecker FanFic Masterlist

Welcome Hoedeckers! 

This is an ongoing - forever being updated - list of Lee Bodecker x Reader and Lee Bodecker x OC fics. Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. There is no order to this list.

Submit Your Lee Fic Here

This list contains SMUT AND DARK fics, please view at your own risk. Please take the time to read tags for each post and respect the authors by liking and reblogging their works. 

Updated: 18 SEP 2021

Keep reading

[bisexual-spiderling]

18+ ONLY.

each fic has its own individual warnings. they are not exhaustive, but please read them.

main masterlist

five part miniseries:

headache - (fluff, smut)

until tomorrow - (fluff)

it’s all in the timing - (fluff)

sweet as sugar - (fluff, smut)

by your side - (angst, fluff)

one shots, drabbles:

babydoll - (fluff, smut)

dinner and a treat - (smut)

for the hope of it all - (angst, dark, fluff)

it’s no secret - (smut, fluff)

it’s you and me - (fluff, smut)

private indecency - (dark, angst, fluff, smut)

the devil’s bride - (dark, angst)

[bisexual-spiderling]

Sheriff Lee Bodecker

One-Shots

Home Remedies 🌶🍬

Summary: When your period comes with a vengeance, Lee is quick to dote on you. But when the regular methods of pain relief seem to be failing you, Lee suggests another way to make you feel better.

Find Out Next Week 🌶🍬

Summary: You and the Sheriff enjoy a relaxing afternoon in front of the T.V.

I Can’t Believe That You’re in Love With Me🍬

Summary: You can’t sleep, so Lee decides to stay up with you for a while.

Silent Treatment🍬☕

Summary: After a fight with Lee, you decide to give him the tried-and-true silent treatment, but the Sheriff doesn’t take to it very well.

Pity or Nothing Like It🍬☕

Summary: You have a lunch date with Lee, but a little run in with a snot nosed deputy gets in the way.

Series

Anything: The Series🌶🍬 Complete

Summary: It’s your birthday week, and to celebrate, Lee promises you anything you want. Anything.

Just For Us🌶🍬

Summary: Lee needed a vacation, but he’s nothing if not stubborn. Yet, somehow, you manage to get him in a cabin for an entire week. It’s going to be a very relaxing week, to say the least.

Drabbles and HC

In a Mood 🌶

Summary: Lee comes home in a mood and takes it out on you in the best way possible.

The Chop🍬

Summary: You’ve always wanted to cut your hair, so you do.

A Routine Pat Down🌶🍬

Summary: Your late night drive home is interrupted by the county sheriff, Lee Bodecker.

Bad Days🍬☕

Summary: Sometimes, all you really need is a hug from your fiancé.

Sunshine on My Shoulder🍬

Summary: You wander into the station with a hurt puppy, and with you, you bring the sunshine.

Afternoon Delight 🍬🌶

Summary: You show up at Lee’s office to give him a little treat.

Lessons 🌶

Summary: Lee’s gotta teach you a little lesson after he overhears something that happened at the coffee shop

Punishments 🌶

Summary: Lee punishes you while watching TV…. or at least he tries to.

[bisexual-spiderling]

gibson girl | neighbor joel miller

summary: your neighbor joel watches you dance in your backyard to your favourite song, enjoying the show a little too much than he should.

warnings: female reader! virgin reader!no outbreak au! unprotected p in v, fingering, dacryphilia, choking, daddy kink, age gap; reader in 20s, joel in his 40s, no use of y/n, pervy joel, breeding, corruption, some degradation

word count: 8k (what is wrong with me)

a/n: HEAVILY INSPIRED by @caskethrill ’s the cowboy next door !!!PLEASE check it out it‘s literally the best thing i‘ve ever read!!! oof i hope you guys like this one i've been rewriting it for days. ALSO NOTE!! this doesn't really have any correlation to the song (yes i know what gibson girl by ethel is about don't come at me) it was just something that popped into my mind when i had this song on replay 24/7 and had to write it down before i forgot. it's the vibe, i guess. anyways, enjoy! :p

Planting little flowers in your garden was a cute little hobby you’d grown accustomed to. You always watched your mother take care of the plants of the garden when you were a little girl, growing an interest. Watching her dug a hole, place the seeds in, covering it back with dirt and watering them every other day. You helped her one time and found it rather peaceful–so you asked her to teach you, and ever since then, you spent your free time caring for your own flowers. You always had the same routine.

Go to college, come back, do your work for the next day and then check on your flowers. 

You put music on everytime, whether in your headphones or brought a radio with you outside. 

Today was one of those days again. Except, it was a Saturday and your parents were gone for the weekend. The house was quiet–peaceful at most. You enjoyed it, enjoyed being alone without the constant nagging everywhere. After spending the bright Saturday morning cleaning your room, vacuuming your fluffy carpet, wiping the dust off your shelves and wiping the windows clean, you found yourself a new task,your little garden coming to mind.  You sat up from the bed, grabbing your headphones with you and strolled downstairs. There was a pack of columbine seeds on the kitchen island, left by your mother who had been too tired to plant them a few days ago. You figured you could do that now, as if you had nothing else to do anyway.

Sliding the glass door open, you pressed shuffle on your playlist and put it down somewhere on the table outside. Headphones on, pack of seeds in hand and you were ready to get to work. You approached an empty spot next to the sage your mother planted those few days ago and knelt down on the warm grass. Completely oblivious to any of your surroundings with your music blasting in your ears and your focus on the pack in front of you. 

Your hands started to dig a hole, carving out the soil manually. You put the container soil in the hole and reached for the pack of seeds. You ripped them open in a swift motion, slowly sprinkling them on the dark soil, pressing them in with our fingertips.  

Without realizing, you started to swing your body a little, jamming to the music in your headphones. Soon after, you started to mouth the lyrics, bobbing your head slightly as you put the remaining dirt on top of the seeds. 

Ethel Cain was playing. Gibson Girl. One of your favorite songs.

You wiped the dirt off your hands, making your way back to the backyard porch to get the watering wand. You bent over, grabbed it and went back inside to get water. Once you were all finished, you pranced back to your beloved garden, mouthing the lyrics.

You came alone to me

From however far away

You slowly let the wand hang down, water flowing through the small gaps down to the fresh soil.

Black leather and dark glasses

Pourin' another while I shake my ass

Naturally, your body started moving with the lyrics, your hands abandoning the wand to roam around your own waist– down to your hips. You bucked your ass out a little, hands making their way onto your hair, streaks dropping down your shoulders as you let it fall–in your own little world, without a care in the world of someone seeing you. You were just dancing, where was the problem in that? Besides, your house was on the end of the street– and the fence from the street was too tall for anyone to take a peek. 

Other than the one you shared with Joel. White picket fence, only about three feet tall. On the other side of the fence– much to your oblivious state, Joel was sitting on the white hanging chair he had built for his daughter Sarah when she saw one of them at her friends’ house, begging her father for months to build it for her. His hand was gripping the base of the glass filled halfway with whiskey in his hand, enjoying the warm Texas breeze until seeing a frame walking in his peripheral vision. Instinctively, he turns his head, eyes catching on you. He wants to say hi, but you have those white headphones on that in his opinion you always have placed on your head, tuning everyone around you out. Which he thinks makes sense for a girl like you. So he just– watches you. Not in a creepy way, just watches you. 

Okay, he’s staring. But he can’t help it– a smile tugs at his lips as he watches you kneel down on the grass working on the seeds you were about to place, a content smile on your face. He watches your fingers, the way the dirt gets under your nails, and definitely notices your dress riling up when you bend a little to get the pack of seeds. Columbines. Joel sees the image of the flowers on the package. He watches you bob your head to the music and he enjoys it. Enjoys seeing you like this. 

You were extremely shy and innocent– Joel noticed that when he met you for the first time a few years back, the way you looked down smiling when he simply just greeted you. So seeing you like this, all relaxed doing what he almost always sees you doing– he’s relishing it. 

Until you walk to the back porch to get something, his eyes following you up until you bend over to grab at something–though Joel is only focused on the way your dress riles up for your white panties to peek through. He doesn’t even notice you going back inside, just thinks about the panties and how much he’d like to rip them off of you. He could already feel his pants tighten. Wait, where are you?

No, that’s not right, Joel thinks.

She’s half your age, he shakes his head, sick fuck.

But how long has it been since he’d been with a woman? Too fuckin’ long– maybe that’s why he was acting this way.

But when you appear once again, he can’t rip his eyes away from your body. How you kneel down once again, watering the columbine seeds you just planted. A smirk plasters on his face when you start to move sway your body, letting the dark green wand plop down on the grass. He watches your hands wandering around your body, hips moving side to side slowly. Joel can’t stop staring at your ass, though– he sees your hands moving there for a second and it’s like you know he’s there and you’re teasing him on purpose. Yet you’re completely oblivious, until you turn around.

Says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up

And then he says to me,

“Joel!” you gasp, letting the hem of your dress fall, eyes widening as you take in the older man on his back porch. Your hands grabbed at your headphones, pulling them down your head. He’s smirking smugly, eyes raking up and down your body without shame. Your sundress was too tight on you–he thought. Probably an old one that you wouldn’t wear outside anymore– but used it around the house. Nonetheless, he fucking loved it. Your tits were fighting against the fabric, and the skirt of the dress was way too short. Your cheeks grew warm, spreading out to the entirety of your face. How fucking embarassing.

“Don’t let me stop you, darlin’ – m’just enjoyin’ the show.” his voice was husky and thick with lust– so were his eyes, going a shade darker. You didn’t know what to say, nails gripping into the leather of your headphones. Had it been Sarah, it would’ve been totally different– but this was Joel. Joel, whom you had wanted to fuck ever since he moved in next to you and your parents. You remember that day so clearly– you had just started college, going home after your classes when your mother told you about your new neighbor, Joel Miller. She was already baking her signature brownies with the intention of bringing them to him as a welcome from your family. When Joel was outside of his truck, getting some box out, your mother took that as a chance, pulling you along with her. Muffins in hand, she cheered to Joel, greeting the older man. Older, but a little younger than your mother, you assumed.

He snapped his head up, eyes squinting to block the burning sun out and look at the woman greeting him. 

“Welcome to the neighborhood, Mister–” your mother tilted an eyebrow.

“Miller , he replied, Joel Miller.” he spoke with a hoarse throat. Goddamn the heat was thirsting him out. Your mother, being the cheerful and extroverted woman she was, started a conversation with Joel right away, where you had no place in. Eyes observing the older man, but letting your mother do the talking. His hair was a dark shade of brown, tousled– beard scruffy. He looked scruffy– but it fit his appearance. He was handsome– and also really fucking hot, you realized. A dark brown t-shirt on, clinging to his biceps.

“Thank you for the treat, ma’am, my daughter’s gonna love these.” he shook your mother’s hands with an appreciative smile, “—and this is?” his eyes darted to you, taking your smaller frame in. He assumed, the daughter of the woman speaking loudly into his ear. You were quiet, nothing like your mother— that he instantly noticed. 

You were too much into ogling your new neighbor that you almost didn’t realize when your mom nudged at your side, snapping you out of your daydream.

“Oh! uhm” you stuttered, feeling the heat pool in your cheeks— you introduced yourself quietly, almost incoherent. Joel heard you. You were barely even looking at him with the attention on you now. 

“Honey, why don’t you help Mister Miller out with these boxes, I need to go back inside and watch the stew.” she turned to you, and you finally looked up. Please don’t, Don’t leave me alone with this man because I’d probably start moaning if I have to look at him any further.

“Oh, s’alright, miss. Don’t think a pretty girl like her wants to get her hands dirty.” Joel smiled, eyes glued to you, not even leaving your face as he responded to your mother. 

Oh. Pretty girl. The way his honeyed southern accent slipped when he complimented you made your panties dampen. 

Your mother insisted you help, Joel giving in soon after. She left you both alone moments after, an awkward silence filling the air– well, for you at least. 

“You go to school?” he asked, taking out the heaviest box for him and the lightest one for you. 

“Uh, yeah, here in austin.” you spoke quietly, hands grabbing at the box he handed to you. 

“Too smart f’me.” he chuckled jokingly, shaking his head slightly. You smiled when his teeth came into vision, head dropping down as soon as he caught your eyes. He instructed you to put the box on the front porch and he’d be fine; to which you obeyed. He came up behind you as you placed the box down, flinching when you saw his broader frame towering over you. 

“You’re a shy one, ain’t ya?” he didn’t need a response, he was already aware of your timid self.

“Well, that’s it– thanks for the help, honey.” fuck, listening to his southern drawl made you melt. And then he placed a hand on your shoulder while thanking you, stroking his thumb up and down slightly. You muttered out a ‘you’re welcome’, turning in your heels to walk back home.

“Bye Mister Miller.” you said a little louder now, Joel bidding you farewell soon after. Without looking back, you slammed the front door shut, pacing upstairs to collect yourself and decide what to do about the dampness in your underwear. 

Since that day, you always found yourself hoping to see the older man. Sometimes you stood by your window with a cup of coffee in hand when he mowed his lawn, the cotton fabric of his wife beater clinging to his body as sweat dripped from his forehead, droplets making their way down to his neck. You tried to be as careful as possible to not be caught directly staring at him, but when he sometimes turned his head and caught your prying eyes, he gave you a nod of his head with a small smile on his face, then turned back to the machine to continue the activity. There were also times when you found an excuse to sit on your front porch with a book and sweet tea in hand, trying to read your book– just to sneakily take peeks at his broad form that was working on his truck– whatever he was doing, you didn’t have a clue, but you loved watching the way his muscles flexed and the focused look he had on his face, full of frustration with the way his brows were pinched together. There was always an old country tune flowing from his radio, no matter where he was or what he kept himself busy with, there was always that sizzling radio placed on top of any surface near him. You recognized some of the songs at times, tracks by bob dylan, johnny cash, artists that your father always listened to as well. There was always a warmth that flooded in your insides, a burning desire in your chest for him– though you knew he only saw you as the next door neighbor’s daughter, even if he was so hard to read at times. 

Joel would glance up to see you sitting down on one of the wooden rocking chairs, long legs dangling and eyes stuck on the book in your lap. He would address you with a low toned ‘howdy’ , sometimes adding in a pet name, followed by a smile and a look up and down your form and you swore you’d be falling to your knees if you weren’t sitting. You noticed that he smiled a lot when he’d see you, just a little curve of his lips whenever you were near him, which he didn’t always do with the other neighbors around. There was one time when he was in his backyard with Sarah while they played a game of cards and you’d never seen the man grin so widely at his daughter– you’d found it so adorable, to see that hunk of a man who was always grumpy with a scowl on his face, who’d rudely shoo away and slam the door right in the faces of the jehovah’s witnesses whenever they knocked at his door or when any other neighbor other than your family tried to talk to him, always uninterested in what they had to say.

You’d also never seen him bring a woman to his place, though you were sure he had one night stands– for a man like him who was so handsome that your married female neighbors were pining over him, he’d surely have his bed kept warm occasionally. You don’t think he ever really had a girlfriend in the years you’d known him, which fit his character. Reserved, quiet and content with being alone. 

He was a quiet man that did his own thing in silence, and never really had any people over, other than his brother Tommy, to which you were also introduced to one time as you were walking down the steps to go to the store and Joel saw you, deciding to introduce you to his younger brother. He’d hang out on his porch as the sun was setting down, either with a guitar in his lap or downing a budweiser as he listened to whatever song was playing from his rugged radio, oftentimes humming along, tapping his worn out cowboy boots on the wood. 

“Well? Keep goin’.” he tilts an eyebrow, watching your reddened cheeks and your hands now fisting at the hem of your dress. Joel sighs, unimpressed by your lack of response, standing up from the chair, gulping down the remaining drops of whiskey. You watch him walk around the fence, getting closer and closer to you.

“Didn’t see you– sorry.” you swallowed, taking a step back from his persistent steps inching closer to you. You don’t even know what you were apologizing for yourself. His index finger nevertheless finds its way to your chin, moving it up to look at him. This is the first time today that you really looked at him. Beard scruffy as always, and hair slicked back. Oh my god, you found yourself liking the new way he styled his hair today too much. His eyes are dark and he has an unreadable look on his face– as always, you figure. Your body was heating up as you fully took him in, and you could only imagine how red you were in the face.

“Keep doing what you were just doing a minute ago, babydoll.” you gulp, shaking your head no.

“No?” he waits, quirking an eyebrow.

“C’mon, sweet girl– looked so pretty dancing.” he coaxes, hands finding your waist slowly, as if he’s waiting  for you to tell him to back off. But you don‘t, you loved feeling his big, roughed up hands engulfing the entirety of your waist. You let out an unwanted whine as his right hand wanders lower, almost at your backside but not fully, just testing the waters to see if you were comfortable. Your eyes drop down to his button up, the first three buttons opened from the warmth of the weather, chest hair peeking out. 

“S’not nice to stare, girl. Didn’t your daddy teach you that?” he tilts his head to the side, watching your slightly parted mouth. He smiles, thumb stroking the soft flesh of your cheek.

“Wasn’t starin’.” you protest, brows furrowing, shaking your head no, but you knew damn well you were practically foaming at the mouth. 

“You’re sweet.” he chuckles, head tilting down to your level to look into your shame-filled eyes. “You remember that dinner a few weeks ago?” 

You look up, eyes darting around as you tried to recall your memory,

“You invited me in, I kissed your cheek and gave you those pretty flowers– and then what did you do, huh?” 

Your memory of that evening was clear as day, knowing what he meant by his question. You excused yourself to the ‘bathroom’ right after putting the yellow tulips in a vase and paced into your bedroom to relieve the heat pooling between your thighs. Rutting against the edge of your bed, fingers searching for release as you quietly let Joel’s name fall from your lips. Meanwhile, Joel excused himself as well as he saw you pacing up the stairs with blotchy patches of red on your chest and throat, and walked upstairs, down the hall to the bathroom, passing by your room– the door slightly creaked open.

And there you were, moving up and down the edge of your bed in desperation. Joel thought you were an angel, until he realized what he was doing, and where he was, forcing himself to tear his eyes from you. He had heard your little whines, especially the ones that included his name, a smirk plastering its way to his face. He was aware of your crush on him– he just needed confirmation. You thought you were doing a good job at keeping your crush on the older man hidden; but Joel wasn’t stupid, he could see right through you. Squirming when he got close to you, cheeks a bright shade of pink whenever he coaxed you up with his southern charm. 

“Go a’n, say it.” he pushes, hands playing with the skirt of your dress. You shake your head, head dropping to rest itself on the warmth of  his chest, the button of his shirt’s pocket pressing into your cheek. You hum against him, quickly finding comfort while Joel holds you close to him. 

“S’not that hard, doll.” you gulp, finally finding the assurance to look up at him.

“I–” you hoarse, “touched myself.” your eyes droop back down but Joel was having none of it, grabbing at your chin to hold your head in place. 

“N’ who was on that pretty mind f’yours?”

“You were.” a tear slides down your cheek– and he wipes it away with his thumb, slowly and carefully bringing the digit to your lips to test the waters. 

“That’s right– attagirl.” Joel praises, brown eyes showing a twinkle in them. He nudges his thumb at your lips– and you open your mouth instinctively. He watches you with anticipation, before sliding the digit in between your lips, the warmth of your tongue making him let out a small groan– he could only imagine how warm your mouth would feel with his cock stuffed in your mouth. His buldge is fighting against his jeans, zipper almost popping open. He longs to bend you over the fence and fuck you till you cry but he knows he can’t do that with all the peering neighbors around. He wants to take his sweet time with you first, tease you so much until you’re begging on your knees for him to fuck you. His thumb leaves your mouth with a pop, coated with saliva that he brings down  and cups your mound harshly. You yelp, hand grabbing at his wrist to stop the tight grip on you.

Though Joel is much stronger than you and you know that. You also know that you don’t want him to stop– at all. He rubs your clothed pussy under your skirt slowly, fingertips pressing into the flesh. Your body is slowly betraying you, knees buckling so you grip on Joel’s shoulders for aid. 

“Joel.” you whimper when you feel his index finger hold the fabric to the side, your folds coming in touch with his warm fingers. 

“Shh, s’okay baby. Lemme take care of you.” Joel croaks, the wetness between your folds smearing all over his fingers. He held a smug look on his face when he realized how wet you were for him. This would make it all so much easier for him.

“You gonna let me do that? Hmm?” he hums, stroking the locks from your face away, fake pouting as if to mock you. You nod, head nudged in his chest.

“Use your words, honey.”  

“Please– please do anything– you want.” you were almost begging for him to plunge his dick into you, even if you’ve never done it before, you were more than ready and you hoped he would.

“When are your parents comin’ back?” Joel knew your parents were gone as your driveway had been empty since yesterday and the observation made him think thoughts he had to push into the back of his head. 

“Not until tomorrow night.” you manage, looking up at him, a small smile spreading on your face.

“Todays’ just about my lucky day, ain’t it?” he asks in rhetoric, before hoisting you up, his hands holding your legs around his waist in place. He walks over to your back porch, gently laying you down on the lounge. You wished he would bring you to your bed; but the couch wasn’t too uncomfortable anyway, so you let it go. Another time, you think. Or, you wish.

Joel stops for a moment, taking you in, sprawled out on the couch, cheeks rosy and shying away from him. You let go of your headphones, putting them down somewhere behind you.

Everything felt surreal at the moment. Joel Miller caught you dancing in your yard and decided that now was the time to give in to his desires? You weren’t complaining.

You wanna fuck me right now

“Are you gonna fuck me, Joel?” you quietly mumble, not exactly sure by what he meant about taking care of you. He chuckles in response, which makes you want to crawl into a hole. You felt so little– so young next to him. Afraid of what words you articulated yourself with to not come across as young as you wanted him to think you were. 

“Now where was that boldness a few minutes ago?” he asks, one eyebrow tilted.

“Gonna fuck you properly like you deserve, not how them college boys f’yours try to.” he continued.

“I didn’t– I mean I’ve never–” you try, but the way his eyes are boring into you , it was difficult to get a proper sentence out. 

“You a virgin?” Joel asks, a little surprised. He felt how his cock was straining against his jeans, your confession edging him one further. 

“‘Course you are. Good girl.” The thought of you being a virgin never crossed his mind of course– but thinking about it right now, made everything click in his brain.

The kind of girl you were, he knew you were a little more on the inexperienced side; always keeping to yourself and never seeing you leave the house a lot. 

His large hand hikes your sundress up, revealing your underwear to him. Joel smiles, his lips placing small pecks on your thighs before his hands guide your legs outwards to spread them.  You feel his index finger a mere second later pulling your panties down, to which he grabs them from your ankles and stuffs the cotton into the backpocket of his jeans. The gesture makes you bite back a smile– even though it’s a little perverted, but you like knowing Joel has your panties in his jeans pocket– mind wandering to what he might do with them.

“Pervert.” you huff, bursting into a breathy giggle. Joel’s eyes darted to you before smiling down at you, shaking his head.

“Need a lil souvenir.” he defends smugly.

“Am I that special?” you tease back, not knowing where your moment of boldness was coming from. You, who couldn’t mutter out a single word when Joel was around, was now talking to him with a little more ease. Maybe it was the way he was looking at you right now, eyes burning with compulsion. 

“You have no fuckin’ idea, sugar.” the sentence brings a hand to cover the red tint of your cheeks, then bringing back your focus to the two fingers that were brought to his mouth and back to your heat. He didn’t really need the saliva from his mouth in the slightest, the wetness between your folds making up for it. Joel’s ego was fed immensely when he realized the full effect he had on you– even when you tried to hide your attraction to him. Your eyes shy away from him, trying to look at anything else when he looks at you like he’s about to devour you. Well– he will if you let him. Your face falls back into a worried expression. 

“Are you gonna hurt me?” your pupils are dilated, looking at his broader frame with puppy eyes. Joel thinks you’re the sweetest doll he’s ever seen. And now he has you where he’s always wanted you, spreading your legs as you wait for him to deflower you. He notices the scared look on your face– like a deer in headlights; feeling you trembling underneath him. Poor baby, he mockingly pouts. 

“It always hurts the first time, doll.” he reassures, though his reassurance makes you even more nervous. “Don’t worry sweet girl– m’gonna make it go away.” he places a gentle kiss on your forehead, his chocolate eyes melting your worries away. 

With that, Joel moves back to his position where he stands between your legs, fingers making their way between your folds. You whimper out– though it doesn’t hurt because of the many times you had done the same thing to yourself in the privacy of your own bedroom. This time was much different— Joel’s fingers were much thicker and rougher by the hard work he endured for years as a contractor. “Joel– fuck.”

“Feel good, huh?” 

“Mhmm.” you nod, eyes screwed shut as you let the pleasure form throughout your body. A small smile pulls at the corner of his lips when he sees you already bucking up forwards, deeper into his hand. He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you slowly, your moans lewd and becoming louder. He knows you’re almost there, so he takes his fingers out and watches your irritated look at the loss of them. 

He hovers himself above you again, bringing his fingers up to his mouth to lick the slick off his fingers– and then brings them to yours just for the fun of it. Your lips grip around his fingers, sucking any remains dry before he takes them out again, a string of saliva connecting to his fingers. He groans at the friction when he rubs his clothed bulge against your heat– feeling almost like teenagers dry humping each other.

Your head snaps up to look at his lower half when you hear him unbuckling his belt, dragging it along him until everything’s out. With one hand, he grips both of your arms to hold them over your head in place, eyes widening as you realize what he’s up to. You want to protest, shimmying away from his hold but when the knot is tied tightly in place you get a sense of arousal and terror that you’ve never felt before. You realize that you like him being the one controlling and putting you in your place. 

His zipper is next to be pulled down, cock springing free from the paining fabric of denim. You don’t even dare to look at him– or rather at it, but Joel makes sure you do when he grips the back of your head to look up at him, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. Then you see it, and it’s fucking huge. Angry red at the tip with a bit of pre cum glistening around it, and veins coating all around his cock. He’s not just long, but he’s girthy too– and you almost feel your teeth chattering. 

“Joel– that’s not gonna fit.” 

“I’ll make it fit.” he sternly replies in that husky voice he always has. You’re scared that he’s going to potentially split you in half– but you nonetheless still want it. Need it.

Fantasizing about him for years and now you’re beginning to doubt him because of his size? 

“Gonna mold this pussy like I want it– heard it works best with virgin pussy.” you moan out loud at his words that normally would’ve disgusted you if it came from someone else– but hearing them from Joel makes the need for him rise whether you want to admit it or not. He strokes himself before his cock is on you, sliding up and down your slit easily with the help of your wet folds. You need to grip at something, but the way your hands are tied up the only thing you can do is bunch your hands up in a fist. Joel sees your failed attempts to release yourself from the tight knot and quirks a brow. “You achin’ that bad for it, hmm?”

You can only nod, biting your lip to the point it cracks and almost bleeds.

“Poor baby.” he mocks, silently enjoying you struggling against his belt, sensing the need for his touch. A hand swats your hair away from your face as he continues to tease his cock between your folds. He holds your cheeks in his hands, placing a kiss on your temple before he slides his tip inside of you with ease. The motion makes you cry out, and Joel has to kiss you to keep you quiet. 

“I know it hurts, baby– but you need’a be real quiet. I’ll go slow.” he comforts you, his tongue licking into your mouth to play with yours.  You feel his length sliding further into you and you feel like the air’s been stripped from your lungs. 

“Joel– need to…ngh– touch you, please.” you plead with him and Joel almost feels bad when he sees a tear run down your flushed cheeks. Almost. He doesn’t want to give in yet, wants to tease you a little more until you fully break. So he wipes it away, smiles and looks at your widened eyes as you realize that he won’t untie you. Instead, Joel cradles your head again, gently palming your scalp as he holds you close to him. It’s so comforting, your heart warms.

“You’re so mean.” you sob, and Joel nods, “I know, baby.”

The pain quickly crashes onto you as he stretches you out– and it doesn’t help much either even if he’s thrusting into you slowly. He’s not even halfway in and tears are already gliding over your cheeks, tasting the saltiness in your agape mouth. 

“You can take it, baby c’mon.” he quietly husks into your ear, nibbling at your ear as your moans mixed with sobs and whimpers fill his ears. It burns like hell as he tries to slide his entire length into you but you stop him with your legs wrapping around his waist and squeezing his cock. Joel groans, head dropping into your neck. The pain is still there, but you’re slowly adapting to his size and at the same time his hand holding your head feels so comforting that you think this isn’t as daunting as you thought your first time would be.

Joel, being the mean grump that he was, feels a tear from you drop down on his face as he laps at your neck and pulls back.

He’s met with your beautiful face all flushed and teary– and he finally gives in, pulling at the belt at the top of your head. He unties the knot and throws the belt somewhere far that it lands in the grass, the metal making a clicking sound. You give out a big sigh, your arms wrapping around his neck without thinking almost immediately. You need him close to you; to hear his sweet honeyed encouragement in your ear. He stills his movements for a minute, just holding you close to him. He knows well that he’s a sick man for being the one that’s taking your virginity, it should’ve been a nice boy your age, and if word got out that you were messing around with Joel, a man two decades older than you, your father would probably hunt him down and shoot Joel with his shotgun for ever touching his precious daughter.

“Joel–” you whisper, “More– need more.” yeah, Joel realized he was toast as your sugary voice filled his ears and he knew you were worth the risk. 

A cry erupts from your mouth as he slides into you with his full length– and your vision goes black for a moment; thinking you were seeing stars. Joel kisses you with so much need that your teeth clash together, the tip of his nose nudging into your cheek. The taste of whiskey on his tongue now lingers on your own and you breathe him in, smelling the shampoo from his shower along with the spicy and woody cologne he always wears that attracts women left and right. He feels you burning up– and the heat of Austin doesn’t help much either.

“There, baby, see? Wasn’t that hard, right?” 

You’re too much into bliss to answer him, moaning out instead. A loud gasp falls from your lips as he moves, sliding out fully until thrusting back into you, teeth gritting together as Joel enjoys the warmth of your cunt too much. He knows he shouldn’t, but you feel so good that he thinks he might never want to let go of you again. You practically melt into the couch, adjusting more and more to him with each leisurely thrust of his and the pleasure that forms makes you arch your back.

You want to scream so bad, moan into his ear so loud that even the crows get scared and scatter away but you need to remember where you are right now. Not in your bedroom or Joel’s, but outside in your backyard. You silently thank the tall fence that hid your yard away from any prying eyes off the street.  His thumb goes down to press down on your sensitive nub, circling it around. He sees the way your thighs flex and the muscles start to shake, grunts leaving his lips at the lewd scene in front of him. 

“Please, please please da-” you manage, eyes screwed shut when you feel your walls throb.

“What was that? Say that again, princess.” he urges, the usual curve of his smirk plastering on his face again. You can’t bring yourself to say it, shaking your head into the negative. You’ve said it so many times when you had your fingers knuckle deep inside of you– and now humiliation was flowing through your blood. Joel takes your lack of response as a way to pound into you with more force now, his thumb still pressed down on your clit. 

“Say it– say it, baby, tell me who’s makin’ ya feel good.” you almost explode when he uses that low and husky tone mixed with his southern drawl that nearly drags you to the edge. He knows what you want to call him, heard it come out of your mouth many nights when he stood by the window that was facing yours, your faint moans filling his ear from where he was standing.

“Da–Daddy, pleasepleaseplease, faster.” your eyes roll back, one hand gripping on to the headrest of the gray sofa and the other gripping at his graying hair. A low rumble leaves his mouth, satisfied. With that, he thrusts into you faster, the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the squelches from your pussy making the man’s grunts grow louder and louder. Joel notices your attempts to be quiet, but he knows you can’t help it with the way he’s fucking up into you. 

“Thatta girl, just like that– fuck, such a tight little pussy.” you mutter out constant yeses as you feel every inch of him searching for that spongy spot in you. It feels so fucking good, and you’re so glad it’s Joel who’s the first to claim you. You know he gets off on the fact that he’s the only one who’s ever touched you– and you do as well as you want him to claim your body. 

“My tight little pussy, ya hear me? Mine. Ya better not be whoring ‘round with someone else after this.”

“M’yours.” you shriek, mouth agape. Joel growls in satisfaction at your obedient words.

There’s a faint voice that’s too familiar coming somewhere from Joel’s house– but you’re too much in a daze to try and hear what’s being said and who’s saying it. The voice gets closer and closer and your eyes shoot up in terror as you realize who the person is calling for Joel– the man that literally had you pinned down on your back patio with his dick inside you. 

It’s Vivian, your newly divorced and obnoxious neighbor, taking a note of her voice quickly as like the annoying loudmouth she was. Even the knocks at (you’re assuming) Joel’s door annoyed you, filled you with anger that she was interrupting this moment. When you look at Joel again, he seems unbothered, too pussy drunk  to even care for his surroundings, he probably doesn’t even hear her.

And he genuinely doesn’t, his focus is only on you. He’s so ignorant of her search for him that you have to be the one to snap him out of it before something really embarrassing happens. 

“Joel! Stop– stop.” you say, gripping his bicep to hold him in place. He looks at you, worried that he’d done something wrong. You motion your head to his house and he turns his head and you think you feel the irritation radiating off of his body when he hears her. He shakes his head and turns back to look at you.

“She’s always wantin’ somethin’ from me. She’s like a pest that won’t leave me the hell alone.” he curses and you giggle. You giggle at how he grimaces when he thinks of her. Everyone in the neighborhood knew; even Sarah was aware of it, always poking fun at her whenever you two were together at some neighbor’s barbeque and she was there openly flirting with Joel. If you even stole Joel away for a moment to talk to him she’d always find herself barging into the conversation and giving you the dirtiest of dirty looks one could give. 

“Because Vivian's weirdly obsessed with you, Joel. It’s plain as day.” you say like its so obvious, but you’re right, everyone and their mother knew. You almost forget he’s even inside you. You both hear her tries, already calling out for Sarah. What the hell does she want? Joel’s clearly not answering the door, so why won’t she leave already? 

Your words make him smile, and you return it, feeling the warmth in your tummy. 

“She won’t leave.” you’re beginning to get aggravated, breath fastening. 

“Well, she’s f’sure ain’t gonna interrupt me when I’m fuckin’ this sweet pussy.” 

He moves again, and you sigh in relief when you hear her footsteps stomping down Joel’s porch. The thought of her catching you in the act makes you chuckle, imagining the horrified look on her face. To be honest with yourself, you’d want her to see just out of spite for every scowl she threw your way if you were even an inch close to Joel. Having said that, she’d probably tell your parents immediately– you didn’t think you cared.

Joel groans when you squeeze around him and it’s the sexiest groan you’ve ever heard. His breath hitches when your hands tangle themselves in his hair, the softness of it being like laying in a pool of feathers. His hand slowly finds its way to your throat, cupping it in his hand harshly, earning a ridiculously loud moan from you. The reaction makes him grin and place a chaste kiss on your collarbone and he finds himself pounding into you faster than before, his heavy balls hitting your skin. The sounds you make are like angels singing in his ear and he knows you’re close.

His thumb reaches over to where your windpipe is located, pressing his thumb into the flesh slightly. A gasp is immediately flown out of your mouth, eyes wide in terror– but a deep arousal flows through you at the same time at the thought of him having complete control over your life. You’re trying everything to be quiet, but Joel’s ruthless thrusts are making it difficult. He’s by no means any quiet as well, but he’s managing it better than you. Gosh, it’d be so embarrassing if one of your neighbors heard you. 

He’s still trying to find the spot that makes your cunt spasm, and he quickly finds comfort in your breasts, placing his mouth over your hardened nipples and giving the same love back to the other one. There’s a string of drool on the corner of your mouth, eyes filled with frustrated tears and hands gripping his own that are around your throat. It’s so wrong what the both of you are doing but it feels too good to stop. He’s more than two decades older than you but the thought always makes a pool form between your legs. He’s fucking into you relentlessly, teeth grazing your collarbone. You feel the harshness of his teeth biting down into your shoulder and you moan out in pain– yet it excites you to an extent. He bites down to suppress the moans that are begging to be let out but it’s simply too risky. Your nails graze his scalp, pulling harshly at his damp locks. 

“Joel–daddy, I’m gonna, m’gonna cum.” you choke out in a sob, panting for air by the constant rimming between your walls. His cock twitches inside you as you clenched down on him and he clasps a hand over your mouth to muffle your choked sobs.

With one last thrust of his hips, you came undone on his cock, walls blooming with white- hot liquid. Joel wasn’t done though, he kept fucking you through your orgasm till he was nearly seeing stars.

“You gonna let me cum in you, baby? Stuff your pussy full of my cum?” he growls against your ear,

“Yes– yes please, inside, cum inside of me, daddy.” That’s all it took for Joel to let out the most animalistic roar, coating your walls with his hot spend, trying to push all of it into your womb. His head drops down on your forehead, his body almost letting him go. He was so heavy on you, nearly punching the air out of your lungs but it nonetheless still felt nice feeling his cock nestled in you and the warmth of his body. He pulls out of you, and the sight of his cum dripping out of your pussy makes him want to take a polaroid of it so he can keep it in his wallet forever. He would if he could. He tucks himself back in, zipping his pants up and searching for his discarded belt. The panties that were in his back pocket are shimmied up to your legs by his hands, an idea popping into Joel’s mind. He’ll steal your panties next time, he reckons– and he’s sure there will be a next time. 

“Keep ‘em on, don’t let any drop go to waste, ya hear me girl?” The harshness of his tone makes your inside clench and you nod quickly, trying to sit up, legs going limp at your attempts to hold yourself in place. After you finally composed yourself, you look down to see a wet spot on the gray sofa and your eyes widen in horror, to which Joel takes immediate notice to.

“Don’t worry, gonna be dried by tomorrow.” he means before your parents come back. You look up at him with doe eyes, Joel’s hand quickly coming up to cup the sides of your face and bring his lips to yours. So soft, so syrupy it makes your teeth rot. You want more, you want to take his cock inside your mouth but that’s for another time. As if he could read your mind, he scoffs jokingly, shaking his head by the glimmer of hope in your eyes. 

“Next time, darlin’ girl.” he turns around, back muscles moving beneath his shirt which makes you long for more, but you know that atleast he'll fuck you sometime again. You watch him open his back door, slamming it shut and leaving you there all alone on your knees with his cum leaking down your thighs reminiscing on what the fuck you'd just done.

[bisexual-spiderling]

In The Woods Somewhere | Joel Miller (Masterlist)

Summary | Joel Miller, exasperated by his estrangement from Ellie, volunteers to scout out a new patrol route for Tommy. Weeks into his solitude, he stumbles upon a cabin, not abandoned, but filled with children, and you. Drawn to you like a moth to a flame, Joel's arrival into your bubble sets off a catastrophic chain of events. You're reliant on him now, having to trust him like no-one else to get you back to the safety of Jackson. You've done terrible things to stay alive, things that would disgust most people, so much so that you truly don't believe you deserve the kindness of this rugged stranger. After everything you've been through, you and the children, why does he deem you worthy of his love?

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Fic Warnings | 18+ Minors DNI. Canon typical violence, descriptions of death of both adults and children, description of injuries, cult activities, sexual violence & assault, domestic violence, religious trauma, children, explicit smut, protective and possessive Joel, mutual pining, dark themes, murder, slow burn, age gap (Reader is 32, Joel is 58), angst, reader is traumatised, the children are not hers, no use of Y/N.

Fic Notes | This came to me whilst I was away this weekend and it's been completely rotting my brain. It's a lot different to anything else I've written so please be gentle with me, but I hope you enjoy it none-the-less.

Chapters

Chapter One - a woman's voice, i quickly ran

Chapter Two - he doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman

Chapter Three - reach out, touch faith

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

[bisexual-spiderling]

Delicate | Joel Miller (Masterlist)

A TheTriumphantPanda & HellishJoel Fic

Fic Summary | Sarah decides, with a year until she leaves home for good, that it's time for her dad to start dating again. Joel doesn't understand the fuss, he's more than happy with how life is for him right now, but decides if it's for Sarah, he'll give it a go. After wading through the dating apps, he comes across someone new, someone who might just be able to be the company he's needed all along.

Fic Pairing | Joel Miller x Single Parent F!Reader

Fic Warnings | Joel traversing dating apps, single parenthood, no age gap, rom-com vibes, slow burn, mention of food & alcohol, discussions surrounding being a single parents, allusions to controlling behaviour from a previous partner, Sarah & Tommy being menaces in the best way, smut in later chapters, pre/no outbreak AU. No Use of Y/N. Please see individual chapters for more in-depth warnings.

Authors Note | @hellishjoel & I are so excited to drop the masterlist for the fic we've been working on recently. We've been having such good fun putting this together for you all, and we really hope you enjoy it! You’ll be able to find the masterlist on both of our Tumblrs, and we’ll be taking turns in posting chapters, so if you want to keep up to date with posting, please make sure you’re following us both! 

Chapters

Chapter One - Someone New

Chapter Two - Maroon

Chapter Three - coming soon!

More TBA

[bisexual-spiderling]

Bluebonnet

summary: Is Joel Miller your friend? No. You’re not even sure if he actually likes you or just puts up with you because of his kid. Then he kicks some guy's ass in a bar for getting handsy with you, and you’re starting to think maybe he might like you a little…

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, Grumpy Joel Miller, Protective Joel Miller, Soft Joel Miller, age gap (unspecified but reader was born before the outbreak), unprotected p in v (wrap it up), creampie, oral sex (f + m receiving), 69 position, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, spit mention, slight breeding kink, Joel has a big dick, Joel being kinda a dick, a random guy harassing you then getting beat up by Joel, canon typical violence, icing Joel’s knuckles, feelings confessions, Ellie being Ellie and the star of the show, AU where Joel doesn’t lie to Ellie and their relationship is still good)

pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader

word count: 5.5k+

a/n: Literally, a scene in this woke me up from dead sleep at five in the goddamn morning, and I spent thirty minutes plotting the whole one shot while barely awake. This fic was very spur of the moment that I wrote in less than two days, so it’s unbeta’d. All mistakes are my own. Please be horny about Joel protecting you with me.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Masterlist

Is Joel Miller your friend? 

No. 

Are you on friendly terms?

You thought so. 

Joel isn’t the most social of fellas—he’s basically a feral cat that wants to be left alone.

If you aren’t friends with him, then how did you become the regular occupant of the seat across from his in the Jackson mess hall every breakfast and dinner? 

The answer is simple: Ellie. 

It all started months ago when you first got to Jackson and met the teen after being assigned to a job rotation with her. She was so excited about finding out you lived in Texas for many years before the world went to hell she invited you to eat dinner with her so you could meet someone, and that’s how you were introduced to Austin-native Joel Miller. 

He’s a bit older than you, never smiles, and isn’t much of a talker but still polite enough to answer a question if you ask it, even if it’s more of a grumble at the start of the day. With Ellie, though, it was different. He talked to her, and his voice was like coming home after a long day and settling in on the couch—that familiar Texan accent making you feel all warm and comfy, his words wrapping around you like a tight blanket and taking you back to a time when things were good and safe. 

The morning after the first dinner, Ellie had called you over to sit with them for breakfast, and again that evening, little bits of conversation happening between bites as you got a grasp on what the relationship was between this young girl and man—it was clearly father-daughter in nature even if she didn’t call him ‘dad,’ and you savored every word she wheedled out of him. 

It got to the point where the teenager didn’t have to beckon you over, and you just knew to set your food down in the seat in front of Joel to eat with them, always smiling at Ellie giving him so much shit, chatting with them or more the young girl, with Joel occasionally offering clipped anecdotes, and you trying not to acknowledge his handsomeness—you weren’t sure if he even liked you or if he was just putting up with you for the sake of his kid.  

He does have a lovely voice and is very attractive with those expressive chocolate-colored eyes that sometimes soften when he looks at his daughter; you could imagine his grey hair would be soft to the touch, and it’s obvious those full lips of his are kissable. Honestly, it’s surprising he’s not seeing anyone that you know of or Ellie is aware of, with how damn pretty he is.

His broad shoulders and how his flannels stretch over his chest. 

His neck. 

God, he’s sure nice to look at. 

And Ellie is a great kid who trusted you, coming to you anytime she needed advice or wanted to talk about something, and you were happy to be there for her. 

The breakfast and dinner routine had been going on for so long that even though Joel didn’t talk at length to you, you’d managed to learn quite a bit about him from questions he’d answer or conversations he had with his kid or brother in front of you. He definitely knew a lot about you, too. 

Now, back to why you’re not sure if he likes you. 

That morning when you went to breakfast, you were running on autopilot—piled your plate with food, grabbed your cup of shitty coffee that made you want to cry with how much you missed Starbucks, and set it all down in your usual spot, where you started to eat. 

When your brain finally began working, that’s when you realized it was abnormally quiet at your table, and you looked up to realize Ellie wasn’t there—it was just Joel. He must have seen some kind of look on your face since he grumbled out she was with a friend. Then when you asked if he wanted you to sit somewhere else, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he told you no before going back to eating in silence.

That put a point in the maybe he wasn’t just putting up with you for the sake of his daughter column and made you smile a little the rest of the meal.  

She wasn’t at dinner either.

This had you standing near your seat, chewing on your lip, debating on sitting elsewhere until Joel sighed loudly, setting down his fork to tell you in a tone that brokered no room for argument to sit, so you did. 

After a few bites, you almost choked to death when he asked how your day was. 

There was actual back and forth between just the two of you, and you were in heaven at how much he was speaking, another point going toward he might like you. 

Those interactions had you feeling really hopeful, and you were excited for breakfast the next day, wondering if he’d try to talk to you more. 

It’s been over half a year since you arrived in town, and you have managed to make some friends, who you knew for sure were your friends, and also closer to your age. When a couple of them asked if you wanted to get a drink that night and play some pool, you happily agreed. 

The place is practically empty when you arrive. 

Standing at the bar, chatting with your friend Mathias as you wait for the bartender to make your drinks, you can feel someone staring at you. Doing a quick glance of the room has your stomach dropping and is the reason you’re pretty fucking sure Joel doesn’t care for you; he’s sitting across the room at a table in the corner, glaring at you—not just glaring, if looks could kill you’d be deader than dead he looks so pissed off, and you’re about to go find out what his problem is when two things happen:

Mathias excuses himself to the restroom, and some man you’ve never seen, let alone spoken to, gets your attention on your other side. 

“Hey.” The interloper squeezes your arm, which makes your head turn toward him, shaking him off.

“Don’t touch me,” you reply. 

There’s nothing special about the guy—he’s probably younger than you, has floppy blonde hair, and a clean-shaven face, but something in his eyes made you feel uneasy. 

“My apologies,” he says, putting up his hands placatingly. “This is my first night here, and I’m just trying to make a new friend. Have a drink with me.” 

“Welcome to Jackson, and no, thank you, I’m here with friends.” 

“I’m sure they won’t mind if you have one drink with me.” His voice goes lower, “We could have some real fun together.” He has the audacity to grab your ass, and you step out of his reach. 

“I said don’t fucking touch me.” 

The bartender has gone into the back, Mathias is nowhere in sight, and your other friend is in another room where the pool table is with the jukebox playing. 

Something flashes in his eyes, and it has your heart pounding. 

“Don’t be like that. Just one drink,” he says, coming closer. 

You are readying to fight the bastard when all of a sudden, someone is grabbing his collar, and you see a fist connect with his face in a sickening crunch that makes you gasp. 

Joel yanks the guy in front of him. 

“She said not to fuckin’ touch her,” he grits through his teeth. “And that she didn’t wanna have a drink with you.” 

“I’m sorry,” the other man wheezes, blood oozing from his clearly broken nose. “I’ll leave.” 

“Yes, you fuckin’ will—after I teach you some fuckin’ manners.” 

With that, he punches him again and again and again.

You’re no damsel in distress—you’ve survived the fucking apocalypse for the last twenty years practically alone and could easily fight your way out of dangerous situations. But having someone stand up for you and protect you? It’s really doing it for you, except you’re genuinely worried Joel will murder this man, so you move toward him. 

“Stop, Joel!” you shout, pushing on his shoulder, and he does immediately, his eyes meeting yours. “He’ll leave; toss him out. Please, Joel. Don’t kill him.” 

His chest rises and falls as he pants, nodding his head once before hauling the groaning man to the door and throwing him out. The bartender chose that moment to come back, as well as your friend. 

There was a worried expression on Mathias’ face. “Is everything okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” you answer. The drinks are sitting on the bartop, and you gesture toward them. “I’ve got something to do, so take those for me, okay?” 

Confusion is etched on his brow. “Okay…?” He strategically picks up the three glasses and heads for the other room with the pool table. 

Your attention moves to the man behind the bar. “Hey, can I get some ice in a rag?” 

“Sure thing,” he replies, going to the block and using the ice pick. 

Joel didn’t return to you. Instead, he went back to his table like the last however many minutes didn’t happen, and it makes you sigh. 

His mixed signals have you so confused you’re ready to just get it all out in the open. 

The bartender hands you some ice wrapped in a towel, and you walk over to Joel, having to drag the seat across from his around so you’re next to him, seeing his right hand shaking around his glass with bloodied knuckles. 

He won’t even look at you. 

“Give me your hand,” you order him. 

“I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not. Give me your fucking hand.” 

“No.” 

“Stop being a stubborn asshole, and let me ice your fucking knuckles.”

“I said I’m fine.” 

He won’t give you his hand, so you do the next best thing and press the ice against them while they hold his drink, Joel hissing at the coldness. 

His head turns to glare at you. 

“Don’t give me that look.” You glare right back. “I’m helping you.” 

“I don’t need your help,” he practically spits out. 

Taking a deep breath, you ready yourself for what you’re going to say. 

“We had a nice dinner,” you tell him. 

His eyebrows furrow. 

“What?” 

“We had a nice dinner with just the two of us where we talked—you didn’t smile, but it was the most you’ve ever said to me, and this morning, you let me eat with you. You’re not a people person, and I wasn’t sure if you liked me all that much, but our meals today made me think you might. Then tonight you were glaring at me—”

“When was I glarin’ at you?” he interrupts. 

“Before that creep started getting handsy.” 

“Oh, I wasn’t lookin’ at you…” His eyes dart away. 

You’re confused. 

“There’s like no one here. Who were you looking at?” 

He sighs loudly. “Your boyfriend,” he mumbles. 

“Huh?” 

“Your boyfriend—the guy you’re here with.” 

“Oh, Mathias? I’m not his type, and he’s already in a relationship. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or a partner—I’m not seeing anyone. You should know this.” 

“Oh.” 

“Okay, so you weren’t glaring at me, you were glaring at my non-existent boyfriend, and then you came in hot like some knight in shining armor and beat the shit out of that asshole for doing me wrong. Sooo, you maybe like me?” 

He looked at you with a squinted gaze, like the answer was obvious. 

“I more than maybe like you,” he replies. 

That has your eyes widening. 

“Wait, in the romantic or platonic sense?” 

“There’s no point in talkin’ about this,” he sighs, looking down at the amber liquid in his cup. 

“Um, yes, there is because if I have a shot at breaking off a piece of this Kit Kat bar, I’d like to take it.” 

His gaze met yours, and you could see the hope swirling in the dark pools. 

“In the, uh, romantic or platonic sense?” 

Smiling, you answer, “Romantic—I’ve basically been crushing on you since I met you. We’ve known each other for months, almost a year. You’re such a good father to Ellie, a hard worker around town, and you let some random person sit with you during your meals—”

It takes your breath away when he smiles softly and talks when you pause, “You’re not some random person, and I would’ve been stupid to turn away such a beautiful woman.” 

“Oh, god, you’re hot and charming.” He chuckles, and your heart picks up in pace. “How are you making me like you more?” 

“I don’t know, Blue.” 

“Blue?” 

“As in Bluebonnet.” 

Which was Texas’ state flower and makes you feel so soft at how sweet the nickname is. 

“I love it.” 

The smile falls from his face. 

“You, uh, don’t mind my age?” He scratches at his mustache. 

Ellie had made you very aware of how old Joel was. 

“No? I think you’re extremely attractive. Does the age difference bother you?” 

“No.” He shakes his head. 

“What now?” you ask. 

“Jesus, it’s been so fuckin’ long,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I guess I’ll court you—take you on a proper date.” 

“Second option, that’s more immediate, and we can go with your plan tomorrow.” 

He looks at you. 

“Yeah?” 

“Is Ellie home tonight?” 

His eyebrows dip together. 

“Yeah?” 

Smirking, you say, “Okay, so why don’t we go back to my place, and I properly thank you for what you did tonight.” 

You see his throat bob as he swallows, his voice going deeper when he asks, “How do you wanna thank me?” 

A smile pulls up on your lips, moving forward to whisper in his good ear, “I was thinking I’d suck your dick.” His breath stutters. “Then have you fuck me however you want.” That makes him groan, and you grin. 

His hand moves out from under the ice and up to cradle your face, along with the other, when his body turns, making you look him in the eyes.

“I was stupid for leavin’ you alone ‘cause I assumed you wouldn’t want anythin’ to do with someone as old as me.” 

You snort. “Uh, yeah. You went a little hard with the leaving me alone, but I’ll forgive you if you kiss me right now.” 

No other words are said. His mouth crushes against yours, swallowing your surprised sound as he kisses you hard. Your fingers end up tangling in his grey waves of hair, your heart hammering in your chest and pulsing at the apex of your thighs. It’s obvious he hasn’t kissed in a while, and you’re in the same boat, both of you figuring things out until there’s a rhythm, and things are heating up with a slip of your tongue into his mouth to slide along his. The need inside you builds and builds until your lungs start to ache for oxygen, and you break apart, his nose nuzzling yours as you both pant with a smile on your lips. 

“Let’s go,” he says, and you don’t have to be told twice.  

He washed his hands before you left the bar, so it wasn’t obvious he’d just been in a fight. 

Having Joel lead you through town is like having a big, scary dog on a leash with how people get out of his way. It’s a little surprising he even knows where you live when you find yourself walking through your front gate. 

“How—”

“Ellie,” he answers before you even ask the question, his feet stomping up the two porch steps and you following. “She’s free to hang out with whoever and go wherever. I just ask she tells me where she’ll be.” 

“That’s very ‘cool dad’ of you.” 

You’re standing at the front door, him out of your way. 

“She’s not allowed to leave Jackson without me. If I tell her to stay away from someone, she stays away from them. I expect her to be a model citizen and do the jobs she’s required to do. Unless we talked beforehand, she must be home in time for breakfast and dinner.” 

“So, today, you knew it’d just be the two of us?” 

“She asked last night to stay at Cat’s house.” That’s Ellie’s best friend. “They’re staying over at our place tonight.” 

“Probably won’t even notice you’re missing then,” you say with a smile. The door’s unlocked, and you push it open before turning to grab Joel by the collar, pulling him in for a kiss as he walks you backward into the house with his arms wrapping around your back. 

It’s a tangle of tongues, a clash of teeth, one of Joel’s hands moving to massage your breast while your fingers worked open the buttons on his shirt, him shrugging it off by the time you make it to your bedroom door you led him to. Once inside, he strips you first, spending quite a bit of time licking and sucking on your tits when they’re bared and stopping you when you try to work open his pants, learning he’s really fucking strong when he easily tosses you onto the middle of the bed. 

Quickly, you’re sitting up on your knees, and you get a good look at the sizable bulge at the front of his jeans; Joel standing there with his hands on his hips, staring at your body with a hungry gaze, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. Scars are littering the golden expanse of skin on his front and arms of varying sizes, a newer one you spot on his lower torso, all of them telling you he’s fought like hell to make it to this point. 

Shuffling forward, you’re tired of waiting, your hands going to the button on the front of his pants. Joel’s palm engulfs yours to stop you, his head tilting down to meet your confused eyes. 

“You don’t need to suck my dick for what I did,” he says. 

“Okay. What if I just want to suck your dick for the hell of it?”

His lips tip up in a crooked smile, and you’re enjoying seeing his different smiles. 

“Then have at it, but I wanna lick your pussy until you come on my tongue.” 

You suck in a breath, your cunt clenching hard around nothing. 

“If you can get me off with your mouth, you’re not gonna be able to get rid of me.” 

His eyebrow arches. “Is that so?” 

“Yeah. You’ll be stuck with me.” 

There’d been enough talking, so you deftly popped open the button and pulled down the zipper, grabbing the waistband to tug his jeans down his thighs. You’re pleasantly surprised he goes commando, and then you get a good look at his hard cock, and it’s glorious. 

He’s thick, long, with a nice curve upwards, and you’re wondering if you’ll be able to fit him in your mouth—you’re definitely up for the challenge, licking your lips at the thought. Your fingers don’t even wrap all the way around him when you take him in hand, giving him a few quick strokes. 

“Wait,” he says, stopping your movements. 

“What?” you ask, looking up at him. 

“Hold on,” is all he replies, getting his pants the rest of the way down, kicking them off, and removing his socks. Walking around the side of your queen size bed, you’re turning in place to follow his movements as he gets on the mattress with a groan and the springs squeaking as he moves to the middle, his legs on either side of you, grabbing one of your pillows to put under his head that he lifts to look at you. “Sit on my face.” It’s an order, and he pats his chest to show you he means it. 

“I thought I was giving you a blow job…?” You point at his dick resting against his stomach. 

“You are,” he replies. “We’re doin’ both. Now, get up here,” he orders again, his face grumpy, patting his chest once more. 

“Sheesh,” you say, moving over his leg and up the bed, thankful you showered before you went out. “You’re really bossy when you’re horny.” 

When you’re within reach, he replies, “I’ll show you fuckin’ bossy,” and he puts his strength to work again, grunting while hauling you onto him with your back to his head and legs along his sides. His hand lands on the side of your ass in a sharp slap that makes you gasp, feeling the wetness between your legs, coating your inner thighs. “I’m eatin’ this pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he says, positioning you over his face, his hand giving your asscheek another hard spank causing you to clench. “And you’re gonna wrap that gorgeous fuckin’ mouth around my cock.”

You can’t respond because all train of thought leaves your brain when his mouth latches onto your cunt, feeling him groan into your sensitive skin, the sensations making your toes curl, and fire erupt in your center. 

“Oh my god, Joel,” you moan. “It’s so good. It’s so fucking good.” 

It takes a deep breath for you to focus on your task, spitting on your hand before grasping his hard dick in your palm, the tip red and shiny with his arousal, lowering your face to take him into your mouth. He’s salty on your tongue, your jaw open as wide as it will go as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head, stroking the considerable amount that won’t fit. 

His hands have a firm grip on your hips, pulling you farther down on his face, and you’re really worried he’s going to suffocate while he eats you out like a man starving. Pleasure in winding in your belly, tighter and tighter, with how he’s licking at your folds, your eyes rolling back in your head when he sucks your sensitive little clit between his lips.

He’s really going to make you come, and it feels so fucking good you’re having a hard time sucking his cock, so lost in what he’s doing to you—saliva is dripping out of your mouth and down his shaft, making your hand slide easily along him while you have half a mind to suckle on the head of him. 

You hit your breaking point suddenly, the coil inside you snapping, your body tensing up as you come with a loud moan, euphoria spreading out from your core. Joel groans into your cunt, his tongue pushing inside your sopping entrance to taste your release straight from the source, his hands grabbing handfuls of your ass and squeezing hard.  

He must get his fill because he moves you off his face, hearing him take a deep breath. 

“My good fuckin’ girl,” he says through panted breaths, rubbing your hips, his words causing a shiver to move down your spine. “Am I stuck with you?” 

You’d given up on blowing him, your forehead resting against his thigh. 

“Yeah,” you slur, sounding drunk. “How are you single?” It’s been a while since you’ve had that good of an orgasm. 

He sighs and taps your hip. “Turn around, baby.” 

Doing your best to turn, Joel helps you, getting you to straddle over his lower torso, your hands finding their place on his warm, flushed chest, seeing the grey hairs of his beard shining with your arousal and his lips frowning. 

“Like you said earlier,” he says. “I’m not a people person.” 

Your eyebrows knit together. 

“I’m people…” 

“No, you’re not. You’re my Texas Bluebonnet—my Blue.” His large palm comes up to stroke your cheek. 

You’re wondering something. “Why did you talk to me at dinner?” 

A sheepish look comes over his face. “‘Cause we were alone, and I didn’t have to worry about Ellie teasin’ me in front of you about my crush.” 

“She knows?”

He grimaces. “Suspects. Since there’s only three people on this godforsaken planet I like, and you’re one of them.” 

“And I’m the only one who’s not family—oh, that’s obvious.” 

“Yeah…” 

“Well, how do you want me?” 

He looks confused. “Huh?” 

“I said you can fuck me however you want,” you answer, sliding your hands up his pecs. “How do you want me, babe?” 

When he smiles this time, you get a glimpse of his teeth. “Ride me.”

His answer has you grinning. “Cowgirl, like a true Texan.” 

“I just love your tits,” he says, his big hands palming them. 

“Good to know,” you reply with a wink. 

Sitting up on your knees, you scoot back to get over his hips. His dick is still wet with your spit when you grab it and slide it through your folds before positioning him at your entrance. 

There are nerves swirling in your belly, your eyes landing on his dark ones as you slowly start to drop down, seeing his mouth fall open with a gasp, his hands grabbing onto your thighs. You knew there’d be a stretch, but he’s bordering on uncomfortable in how your walls have to expand for his size, feeling the slight burn. When you finally bottom out, you’re beyond full—you’ve never felt fuller, and it takes your breath away. 

“Jesus Christ,” his words are said through his teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. “Don’t move.”

His hard cock is throbbing inside you. 

“Been a while?” 

“Yeah.”

“Same. You’re so fucking big I’m gonna be sore after this.”

His dick jerks as he groans, “Don’t say that.”  

“Damn, you’re that close?” you ask, soothingly stroking your hands over his chest. 

You watch as his eyes blink open, the grumpy expression you’re used to appearing on his face. 

“Don’t make fun of me.” He slaps your ass. “I haven’t fucked in a long time, and now I’m inside the perfect pussy—you’d be strugglin’ too if you were me.”

“I’m not making fun of you, Joel.” You lean forward to cup his cheek, feeling prickling stubble under your palm. “I think it’s hot. Like, you have no idea how flattered I’d be if I made you come right away—talk about an ego boost.”

He doesn’t look convinced, his eyes narrowing.  

“Are you just sayin’ that to make me feel better?”

“Nope.” To prove your point, you sit up, bracing yourself with your hands on his chest as you start circling your hips. 

His mouth goes slack, his eyes widening, a choked noise pulling from his throat that makes you smirk. “Fuck,” he pants. There’s sweat beading on his forehead, his cheeks a rosy pink. “You fit me like a fuckin’ glove.” 

You’re slowly building into an up-and-down motion, feeling every ridge and vein of his cock rubbing against spots you didn’t know existed, sparks of pleasure igniting in your center as you throw your head back. 

He must get a hold of himself because both of his hands come down on each of your asscheeks in loud, resounding smacks before he’s gripping them to help you move. 

Looking down at him, there’s concentration on his brow. 

“Your tight little pussy is takin’ me so fuckin’ well,” he says, hearing the wet sounds where you’re joined. “You love how I stretch you open?” 

“Yes,” you moan. 

You’re moving a little faster, moving up, and falling down a little harder, making the fire in your belly get hotter and hotter. 

“Lean down.” 

Doing as he says, your hands are on either side of his head while he continues helping you ride him. He lifts his face to pull a pebbled nipple between his lips, and the pleasure shoots straight to your pussy, making you gasp and more arousal spill around his length. 

He laves at one bud, then the other as you work yourself up, the new angle allowing the coarse hairs at the base of his cock to rub deliciously against your clit, and you know you’re close.

Joel is groaning loudly, clearly in heaven, with his dick inside you and his mouth on your tits. 

“You gonna come for me, baby?” he says around your hard nipple. “You gonna let me feel you squeeze my dick? Let me fuckin’ have it. Be a good fuckin’ girl and give it to me.” 

It’s all too much, everything coming to a head as you fall over the edge with a cry of his name, clenching so hard around him, you’ve stopped moving with his cock buried to the root, pleasure radiating through your body. 

Joel’s breathing hard under you, and you don’t sound any better while you come down from your high. 

His arms suddenly hug you close to him, and you squeak in surprise when he flips you onto your back with his dick still inside you and his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs. Lips find yours in a searing kiss, moaning as you taste yourself, welcoming his tongue when it slips into your mouth to tangle with your own. 

He starts moving to chase his high, his thrusts hard and fast. 

The bedsprings are squeaking loudly, the headboard banging into the wall, hearing the wet suck of your pussy taking his cock and your muffled moans paired with his muffled groans. There’s no mistaking what’s happening in this bedroom, and you just hope your neighbors don’t complain in the morning. 

Your fingers have threaded into his hair, your bodies sweaty, his lips leave yours, opening your eyes to see his face screwed up like he’s in pain. 

“Where do you want it?” he grits out. 

If he’s asking, then he knows the risk. 

“Inside.” 

He opens his eyes wide. “Are you sure?” 

It is a rare thing to want these days. 

“Yes.” 

His pace speeds up, grunting as he pistons into you, resting his head in the crook of your neck, feeling his hot breaths. 

“You can fuckin’ have it,” he grunts. “Fuck you full of me—milk me fuckin’ dry. Fuck, you’re perfect.” 

You know he’s close when his thrusts get jerky, then he’s pushing in hard one last time with a guttural groan, feeling the hot spurts of his come filling you, his hips continuing to roll until they finally come to a complete stop. It’s obvious he’s wrung out with how he practically collapses on top of you, but you welcome the weight, pushing your fingers into his hair and scratching at his scalp, which receives appreciative hums. 

Minutes pass that neither of you speaks. 

“‘M sorry,” the words are murmured into your neck. 

“For what?” you softly ask.

“Makin’ you think I didn’t like you.” 

“It’s kinda my fault, too. I mean, I am aware you don’t like people but you’ve eaten two meals a day with me for almost a year, so obviously you must like me somewhat.” 

His head comes up with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips frowning. 

“I like you more than somewhat.” 

You smile. His hair is a mess, and you go about combing your fingers through it as you say, “Yes, I know that now. You like me.” 

“I do.” 

“And I like you.” 

“Good.” 

“I said you’re stuck with me, so can this be more than a one-time thing?” 

His eyes squint in that same way where he thinks something is obvious. 

“What?" he says. "I’m not lettin’ you go anywhere. You’re mine—my Blue.” 

“Good. ‘Cause you’re mine, too.” 

He kisses you passionately, and you lose yourself in it for a second until a thought has your eyes flying open and you pushing his face away. 

“What?” he asks, bewildered. 

“How are you going to tell Ellie?” 

“Shit. Uh, we can sit her down tomorrow night—”

“No, this is a conversation you need to have with her alone.” 

He winces. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow night after dinner...” 

Is Joel Miller your boyfriend? 

He absolutely hates you giving him that label, grumbling he prefers partner, but yes, he is your boyfriend. 

Did Joel sneak out of your house in the early morning hours to his own so Ellie wouldn’t know he was gone all night?

Also, yes. 

It’s the morning after, and you’re trying to act normal, ignoring how nervous you feel and the soreness between your legs as you sit down in your usual spot in front of Joel with your plate of breakfast. He’s changed into clean clothes and looks like he hasn’t slept, sipping on one of the two cups of shitty coffee in front of him, Ellie next to him already digging into some oatmeal with her spoon, which makes you realize—

“Ah, fuck,” you say, both of them looking at you. “I forgot to grab a fork.” 

“I’ll get you one, baby,” Joel says as he sets his coffee down and starts to get up.

The three of you go completely still. Your eyes are wide, Joel’s close in regret, his cheeks turning pink, and Ellie looks like she’s going to explode with excitement until—

“You guys FUCKED!” she shouts. 

People around the mess hall turn to stare. 

“Ellie,” Joel hisses, his head whipping toward her. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she says in a quieter voice, the rest of the room returning to eating. “I knew it! It’s about fucking time! So when are you getting married?” She’s looking between the two of you. “You know, I’ve always wanted a mom! And a brother! I’ll settle for a sister, though. Is she moving in with us, Joel?” She’s staring at him expectantly with a grin. 

Joel’s face is bright red. “I’m gettin’ the fuckin’ fork,” he grumbles as he gets up from his seat. 

Masterlist

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[bisexual-spiderling]

but I would die for you in secret

summary: The relationship you have with Joel Miller is… complicated, and you’re not entirely sure what to even call it. There’s the fact no one can know, so his kid doesn’t find out, and you’re pretty sure he’s ashamed of your age difference—he’s not your boyfriend, but you only fuck each other; this thing started months ago, and Joel does not like it when men give you attention, because he wants you all to himself. But again, he’s not your sexy, older boyfriend.

pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, porn with some plot, explicit smut, Possessive Joel Miller, Joel being a lil dominant, age gap (unspecified, reader is an adult), secret relationship, sneaking around, accidental voyeurism, edging, orgasm denial, mutual masturbation, dirty talk (so much), oral sex (f receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), rough sex, explicit consent, creampie, spanking, spit as lube, love confession, Good Parent Joel Miller, Ellie giving Joel so much shit, TLOU AU where Joel doesn’t lie to Ellie and they’re good when they get back to Jackson)

word count: 7.1k+

a/n: Hey! I needed a break from my long fic that I’ve been writing nonstop for five months, and I was really missing Joel and Ellie, so here we are. I hope you enjoy! Thank you to @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Masterlist

The relationship you have with Joel Miller is… complicated.

To start with, there’s the age difference. It doesn’t bother you at all, and why should it? You’re both consenting adults who know what they want, but he’s got this idea in his head that he shouldn’t be chasing someone so much younger than him and that you should be with somebody your own age—he mentions this almost every single time you’re alone together, and you've learned a simple flash of your tits or a sudden kiss will make those thoughts disappear.

Then there's the fact he isn't your boyfriend, yet you only fuck each other. His days are spent working whatever job he’s assigned here in Jackson and he’s at your place most nights after his daughter goes to bed—however, that’s a secret; No one can know about you two, even though Joel’s a tiny bit possessive and doesn't take kindly to other men giving you attention; which you're not one to judge because you can't stand when women flirt with him, especially Sandra, his next-door neighbor who won't leave him the fuck alone after the many times he’s told her he’s not interested.

So, again, he's not your boyfriend, but neither of you wants to fuck anyone else; whatever this thing is between you has been going on for over eight months, and he doesn’t want people to know you’re together—yet, any time he catches a man being too friendly with you, there's a 100% chance a grumpier than usual Joel will show up at your house that night, and at some point, while he’s fucking your brains out, he'll let a 'Mine' slip out.

Clearly, you have some kind of relationship with him, and it borders somewhere between fuck buddies and him being your boyfriend; where it gets confusing is it's not all sex with him. If his kid is staying over at a friend's, he'll show up at yours earlier than normal, and usually, with a movie he hadn't seen since the world ended or a record he thought you'd enjoy that you both listen to all the way through for him to tell you facts and anecdotes that he could possibly be the only person on the entire planet who knows.

If you need anything fixed around your house, he'll do it, and sometimes you don't even have to ask. You'll mention something, and the next thing you know, he's at your front door with a toolbox—sometimes, he uses doing repairs as a ruse so people will see him arriving at your place with his tools when, in actuality, he’s there to spend the day with you.

You’re also probably the only person, unrelated to him, he has actual conversations with; there’s hardly any grumbling or muttering.

There is a reason he won't acknowledge you’re dating, and it's his sixteen-year-old daughter whom he doesn't want to know he has a love life—it's to where Joel's basically taken the role of the rebellious teenager, sneaking out of his own home in the middle of the night to ensure she's unaware he left.

It's an accumulation of factors why she can't know. The big two, you think, are your age, and you know for sure he doesn't want Ellie to think she'll be any less important to him or that he's abandoning her if he's seeing someone—he worries she won’t take it well, and from what you know she's been through, you can understand why he’s being so protective.

Do you wish you could openly be in a relationship with Joel? Sure, it'd make you happy to shove it in Sandra, his stupid neighbor's face that he's taken.

That isn't a possibility, though, and honestly, what the two of you have is good, so you're not going to make a fuss about labels.

It's been a few nights since Joel has snuck over to your place, and you know why he hasn't stopped by—Ellie—she's sick with a cold, and to put things mildly, her father is freaking the fuck out that it could turn into something worse, and he won't let her out of his sight.

Now, if a person didn't want their child to know they were dating anyone, they’d keep them separated, right? Well, you live across the street from them—that's how you met Joel; he saw someone had moved into the tiny one-bedroom, one-bath home across from his and came over to introduce himself—and since you live across the way from him, and Ellie, the two of you have this, 'Just being a good neighbor,’ act, where any interactions you have in public, are under the guise that you’re just friendly neighbors. So, Ellie has spoken to you many times and has even invited you to hang out and eat meals with them at their house or in the mess hall, where Joel always does his damndest to act indifferent.

Joel left a simple note three days ago stating Ellie was feeling under the weather on your front door. The next day, you stopped by, as the good neighbor you are, to drop off some chicken soup you convinced the kitchen at the mess hall to make. Joel had let you in with a ‘Thanks’ and took the large bowl from you to the kitchen, and you followed the sounds of sniffles to the living room, where you found the teenager wrapped in a blanket on the couch, her stuffed-up voice exclaiming when she saw you in relief you were there so she’d have someone other than her dad to look at or talk to; obviously, she was tired of him, and with how he was hovering, and fussing over her like a mother hen, you would’ve been tired of him, too.

The man had bags under his worried eyes and looked like he hadn’t slept since she’d gotten sick. After he served her some soup and saw she was eating it, Ellie and you convinced him to take a nap while you hung out with his kid—the kid you’ve had a suspicion for a while knows there’s something up between you and her father, simply because every time the two of you are alone, she grills you about your love life.

The thing is, she always fishes for information you won’t give her, but she never seems bothered by the prospect of Joel dating; frankly, she’s supportive and wants him to be happy. However, that wasn’t something you could tell him because he’d probably end things with you immediately, so you’d have to wait for them to eventually have a heart-to-heart for him to find out—which, you’re not holding your breath with how bad they both are at talking to each other about their feelings.

And now it’s been over three days since you last got laid, and after having great sex regularly, the horniness is hitting you hard tonight, and you need to come.

It might be the dead of winter, but you’ve pushed the blankets to the end of your queen-sized bed, the old sheets not as soft as you imagined they’d once been when they were new, your bare, heated skin pressing into them. You’re lying in the middle of the mattress, your head cushioned by a pillow that’d lost its firmness long ago, your naked legs spread while your fingers rub at your swollen clit just right, the others pinching at your pebbled nipple to have the pleasure welling up inside you. You’ve been biting your bottom lip so much it’s sore, your breaths panting from your lungs, the wood stove in the living room keeping your house warm, and that, combined with your arousal, has a thin layer of sweat coating your body.

Sure, you can get yourself off, but the orgasm will be nowhere near as good as what Joel coaxes from you; it’ll take the edge off, at least, so you’ll feel a little better.

For the last hour, you’ve been building yourself up, almost hitting your peak, and stopping, edging yourself over and over again to try to make yourself come as hard as you can by your own hand to assuage some of your need—the sheets are wet under your ass where you’ve dripped onto them.

Your heart is pounding in your chest, thinking about that one night Joel saw some guy about your age at the bar laying it on thick to get you to leave with him, and how after you turned him down and left, a familiar presence followed you along the dark streets. You had to keep quiet when those big, gun-calloused hands you knew all too well pulled you into the stable that had nobody in it except the horses—Joel fucked you from behind against a wall, having to brace yourself with your arms on it. You remembered his palm over your mouth to muffle your sounds and him blanketing himself over your back to have his lips at your ear while he pounded into you hard and fast, quietly grunting about how you were his and that no one could make you feel as good as he did. There was no forgetting how his cock stretched open your cunt, or how before he sheathed himself inside you, you heard him spit on his fingers to slick himself up; the way he made you come around him while he circled your clit with those same digits. The memory of how he’d worked himself up so much he’d forgotten to pull out and spilled deep in your pussy, has you so close to coming by your hand you moan loudly, “Joel.”

“Stop,” the familiar gruff voice makes your eyes snap open as you gasp, immediately sitting up on your elbows.

There at the foot of the bed is the man on your mind—he must’ve taken off his winter jacket in the living room—his green flannel shirt is gaping from most of the buttons being undone, revealing his chest, his grey waves of hair looking to be slightly damp from melted snowflakes. What steals your attention is the fact his jeans are unbuttoned and open, and he’s slowly stroking his hard dick; from how the tip is angry red, leaking precum, and his shaft shines, he’s been watching and jerking off for some time.

“Joel,” his name comes out as a whisper, and your eyes flick up to his, finding them dark and staring hungrily between your legs at your glistening cunt.

You’re so happy to see him you’re not even mad he ruined your orgasm, knowing he’ll make it up to you.

“How many times have you made yourself come while I’ve been busy?” he asks, finally meeting your gaze, his expression grumpy.

“No-none,” you stammer.

His eyebrow lifts. “You lyin’ to me, sweetheart?”

“No.” You shook your head. “Are you mad at me…?”

His face pinches in confusion. “What? No. I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m mad at myself for leavin’ you hangin’.” He undoes the last two buttons on his shirt and shrugs it off for it to fall to the floor, pushing down his pants to step out of them, now standing before you completely naked.

His body is a tapestry of littered scars that tell of his fight to survive this long, some from injuries you’re sure should’ve killed him. Yet, somehow, if by spite or the grace of God, he managed to stay alive—your fingers have traced many of them, mapping the silvery and pink lines in the quiet of the night with only the glow of a bedside lamp. With what people have to do in order to keep living these days, they rarely like to share the stories behind their close calls to death. Still, there’s a jagged scar low on the right side of his stomach lesser men would have died from, you noticed the first time he took his shirt off, and you always wanted to know the story of. Surprisingly, he told you how he got it a few months into this not-not relationship when you asked.

Excitement pools in your belly, your pussy throbbing needily, watching as he climbs onto the bed to kneel in front of you, between your legs, down by your ankles.

“Touch yourself,” he orders and takes himself in hand again, languidly pumping his cock. “I wanna watch you make yourself come; then I’m gonna show you how I’m better than everyone, includin’ you, at gettin’ you off.”

Your cunt clenches because he is better, and the promise has you doing as he said, sliding your hand down to the apex of your thighs to rub your clit the way you like while you watch him fist his shaft. This isn’t the first time he’s watched you touch yourself, and you’re sure if it was anyone else, you’d feel embarrassed, but with how the desire is clear as he stares at what you’re doing, it spurs you on.

Having been so close to coming when he told you to stop, and now, it’s turning you on so much that he’s jacking off to what you’re doing, all of it is building you back up quickly, the familiar heat growing at the base of your spine.

“Just like that, baby,” he rasps and wets his bottom lip. “Keep rubbin’ that pretty pussy—did you miss me?”

“Yes.”

He hums in the back of his throat. “Missed how good I make you feel—how I stretch open that perfect cunt with my cock? Do I fuck you so good, you were thinkin’ about me to make yourself come?”

The strokes of his hand sound wetter, your arousal drooling onto the bedding while the muscles in your belly begin to tighten.

“Yes,” you gasp.

“That’s right, you were. So fuckin’ pretty spread out like this for me—I wanna taste you, shove my face in your pussy, and drown in it; just look at how you’re drippin’ for me.”

“Joel,” you moan. You’re so close it’s not going to take much more.

“God, I fuckin’ missed that sound; I missed hearin’ your voice and how good you smell, how soft your skin is, and the few hours I get to sleep next to you—come for me, baby. Come all over your fingers, and I’ll give you my dick—I’ll make those gorgeous eyes roll back in your head and give it to you so good, I ruin you for anyone else.”

He’s already ruined you for anyone else, and you doubt there’s another who’d fuck you as good as him.

It’s the thought that he’s yours and no one else can have him like this that sends you over the edge, your body seizing up as you come, pleasure erupting from your center as you moan his name.

He doesn’t give you a chance to recover, batting away your hand to dive in and bury his face in your wet heat. He shoves his tongue inside your soaked hole, groaning loudly as he laps at your come, your body trembling when he drags the flat of it up through your folds to suck your clit between his lips. Your fingers press into his hair, soft sounds leaving your throat at how good it feels.

The one orgasm isn’t enough—you need more, his mouth igniting arousal to burn hot in your belly, making you feel achingly empty. He’s licking up every bit of your need, coating your sex, moving to flick his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re feeling greedy; what he’s doing isn’t enough, and you want, no, need him inside you.

You pull at his hair as you tell him in a somewhat whiny tone, “Fuck me, Joel—stop making me wait.”

His chuckle vibrates into your sensitive skin before he rises to kneel with a groan. “Impatient.” He smacks your thigh. “Flip, ass up.” And it’s not a suggestion, his hands on your waist helping you to roll over, pulling your backside up into the air while your torso is against the sheets. Your knees are sinking into the bed and spread a little, putting yourself on display for him, the mattress jostling when he shuffles forward, feeling his body heat behind you. His palm lands on your asscheek hard, the sharp sting making you moan. “Now, ask me nicely to fuck you.”

You should’ve known he wouldn’t care for your lack of manners.

Your head is resting on your crossed arms in front of you.

“Joel, will you please fuck me?” you ask as sweetly as possible.

“Yes.”

The sound of him spitting on his fingers meets your ears, and you know he’s slicking himself up. One of his hands holds your hip, the other guiding his cock through the lips of your pussy to wet it even more, nudging your clit—it doesn’t seem like he’s in a mood to tease too much. Your eyes slip shut when he notches himself at your entrance and starts slowly feeding himself into you, your tight, velvety walls expanding to take the considerable girth of him, whining as he fills you. He slides all the way home, your cunt throbbing around him.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he groans. “Is this what your needy little pussy wanted?”

“Yes,” you moan.

He’s as deep as he can go and pulls out until just the tip remains, and slams back into you hard enough to knock the air from your lungs—oh, this is going to be one of those times where he fucks you to the point your legs are too shaky to walk on afterward. The pace he sets is deliciously brutal and has your eyes rolling back, all thoughts leaving your brain, unable to think with how he’s pressing into so many heavenly spots, his grip tight on your waist.

The sounds in the room are obscene—the springs beneath you are squeaking, and there’s the noisy slap of his hips colliding with your ass, Joel grunting with each dull smack of his skin to yours, while you gasp out moans.

He’s fucking you so good, your orgasm is already taking shape, its fiery tendrils tightening in your core with each stroke.

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re so fuckin’ wet—I could live in this perfect pussy.”

His hand slaps your ass hard enough the crack echoes amongst the four walls, the sweet pain making you clench around him and press back into his thrusts, crying out his name.

“Does it feel good, baby?” he asks. “Did you miss getting fucked like this? You love this—this pussy is mine, isn’t it? You’re mine.”

He’s not wrong; you are his, and all you can do is mewl in reply, waves of your arousal seeping down his shaft to catch on his balls.

His gun-calloused hands adjust on your hips to get a better grip, pulling you back each time his dick impales you, fucking you harder and faster, hearing him panting behind you—the wet sounds of him working himself in and out of your drenched cunt, are loud, and lewd.

You’re so close; you’re just needing—

Joel leans forward to get his hand under your body to the swollen pearl of your clit, circling it how he knows you like it.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he grits out. “Let me have it—soak my cock with your come. Let me feel you—I know you’re almost there.”

That’s it—the knot in your belly winds tighter and tighter until the tension snaps, and you fall over the edge with a silent cry, your pussy clamping down on him hard enough that it slows his rhythm almost to a stop. Joel groans loudly while euphoria explodes out from your center, feeling it spread to your fingers and toes. Your brain goes blissfully blank, and your legs tremble under you like a leaf in the wind.

A gasp leaves you when he suddenly pulls out and flips you onto your back, taking his place between your spread thighs. He puts your legs high on his ribs, holding his weight on one arm while his other hand sheaths himself back inside you.

It’s not surprising that you’ve found yourself under his hulking frame with his hips snapping in and out of you—when you open your eyes, his are closed, his expression looking pained, and it’s his broad shoulders and head that take up your vision. This is how Joel wanted to fuck you from the start, but he’s a gentleman and did your preferred position first.

Your fingernails end up digging into the skin of his shoulder blades for something to hold on to, and he kisses over your chest to duck his head, wrapping his lips around a stiff nipple and sucking on it, the shock of pleasure causing a moan to slip from your throat. His breaths are heavy, and you know he won’t last much longer.

Your voice is hoarse when you speak, telling him what you know he needs to hear, “I missed you, Joel.” He whines. “I want you to come for me.”

His mouth leaves your breast to crash against yours, and you’d been wondering how long he’d go without kissing you—something about kissing while he fucks makes him come faster; maybe it’s the intimacy?

He’s told you the last woman he was with back in Boston wouldn’t kiss him because sex between them was just scratching an itch, and she wasn’t looking for anyone to replace her dead husband.

All you know is Joel loves kissing and touching—he’s admitted that he sleeps best with you snuggled against his back as the big spoon, which, you’ll never tell him, you think is adorable with how he scares people enough, they move out of his way when he walks down the street.

His kisses are fervent, and you give just as good as you get, welcoming his tongue when it presses between your lips, his pace speeding up. You love having him inside you, the way he fits all nice and snug to fill you completely. This is what you’ve been needing, and it’s perfect.

When his rhythm gets uneven, you expect him to pull out at any second to spill his release on your belly. What he does next, you’re not expecting.

Joel shoves his face into the crook of your neck, his facial hair scratching your skin, feeling his hot breaths.

He says something that’s too muffled to make out, so you pull on his hair to make him lift his head, finding his eyes dark and glazed over, looking totally and completely wrecked. His pace slows to him rocking in and out of you.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“Can I—�� he pants. “Fuck, can I come inside you?”

The question has your tight walls constricting around him.

“Fuck,” Joel hisses, his eyes closing. “Please, can I?” he asks again.

The answer that immediately pops into your brain is ‘yes,’ but thinking about how the only times this man has finished inside you in the past were all accidents, you’re worrying he’s just pussy drunk and not thinking straight; that if you fell pregnant, something you didn’t mind, he’ll regret it.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

He looks at you and nods. “Yes, I know—” The consequences, he leaves unsaid. “—please.”

“Then yes, come for me, Joel—fill me up.”

He raggedly moans, his face falling into your neck again. His thrusts speed up and become frantic as he pounds into you, your heels digging into his ass, feeling the muscles flex. He works himself up until he presses into you one last time as deep as possible and comes with a guttural groan—his dick jerks inside you, and the hot spurts of his spend gush into your depths, filling you up. Electricity zips down your spine as you moan, your tight walls throbbing around him while he grinds his hips, fucking his come deeper.

The weight of his body is welcome when he eventually slumps onto you, and instinctively, your fingers slide into his hair, scratching your nails lovingly against his scalp, the man practically purring on top of you.

For the first time in three days, you feel happy and finally sated, loving how he’s stuffed you full of his cock, and come. There’s no talking as your heartbeats slow together and your breathing evens out, basking in each other’s presence. Your eyes are closed, and you’re choosing to ignore your shaky limbs.

It’s hard to imagine a life without Joel, which is odd since up until this point, most of it had been spent without him, or anyone really. What you actually mean is you don’t want to imagine a life without Joel and Ellie—you think she’s a great kid, and you have a soft spot for her; plus, she and her dad are a package deal. Then there’s Joel, who you’re absolutely and completely in love with, and it bothers you that you don’t know what this relationship between you is or if he even feels the same as you.

Minutes pass, the old, wooden bones of your house creaking as the winter wind gusts outside.

“Joel?” you break the silence.

“Mhmm?” he hums, nuzzling into your throat.

“What are we?”

“Huh?”

“What are we? Like, what is this thing that we’re doing?”

His head lifts, and he pulls out, rolling off you to lie beside you on his back, pressing his hands to his face.

“Somethin’ I shouldn’t be doin’ in the first place,” he finally answers.

You turn on your side toward him, propping your head up on your arm. “Take my age out of the equation.”

His palms lift, and he looks at you confused. “What do you mean?”

“For some fucking reason, you are stuck on my age—take it out of the equation; if that wasn’t a factor, would you openly date me?”

“Well, there’s Ellie—”

“—let’s pretend she doesn’t give a fuck about your love life,” you cut him off, “and actually wants you to be happy, and my age doesn’t matter—would you openly date me?”

“Yes.”

“So, you have feelings for me?”

“Of course.”

“Do you love me…?”

“Yes,” he whispers, covering his face again.

One word has your heart picking up in speed.

“I love you, too.”

His head whips in your direction with an expression of bewilderment.

“What?” he asks.

“I’m in love with you—have been for a while, and I’m fine with doing what we’ve been doing if that’s the only way I can be with you, but I kinda, sorta, would like it if you thought of us as a couple, and weren’t ashamed of me…”

A secret relationship? You’re fine with that. But Joel being ashamed of you? It fucking hurts.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he says too quickly.

“Joel, if Ellie were okay with you having a love life, you wouldn’t openly date me because of how old I am—I’d just continue being your dirty little secret that one other person knows about.”

His eyes dart away, and the sigh he lets out is long and weary.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he says. “I’m ashamed of myself for fallin’ for you and not bein’ able to give you the future you deserve. I just felt like I was stringin’ you along when you could be with someone who can offer you more, but I’m so fuckin’ selfish.” He looks at you. “I want you, and I don’t want anyone else to have you—I can’t let you go, even though I should cut you free.”

Your fingers brush back the sweat-soaked hair on his forehead. “I don't want anyone else, Joel—I want you, and you’re not stringing me along. I’m happy with you and any future I can have with you and Ellie.”

He’s frowning. “If only it were that simple,” he sighs.

This is a conversation you thought might make him end things with you, but maybe giving him a slight nudge will be okay—at least, you hope it will.

“It is that simple,” you tell him. “I’m gonna tell you something that if you can work up the nerve to talk to her about, she'll confirm it.”

His eyebrows furrow. “What?”

“Ellie doesn’t care if you date. She’s told me she wishes you weren’t such an asshole ‘cause then the only negative thing about you is how ugly you are, and people love ugly things all the time, and if someone loves you, then you won’t die alone, plus it’d hopefully make you happy, and she really wants you to be happy—that’s pretty much what she said word-for-word.”

His eyes close, and the sigh that leaves him is that of a father who’s real tired of their child’s shit, and you smile.

“That’s Ellie,” he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’m not even sure how I should be feelin’ right now.”

“I hoped you’d be relieved at least, possibly even happy.”

He looks at you. “Yeah, I’m relieved and happy but also a little ticked at her embarrassin’ me like that.”

Scooting closer to him, you lay half on top of him with your arms folded on his chest, resting your chin on them to stare at his pretty face.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It was said out of love—she loves you.”

He sighs again, wrapping his arms around your bare back.

“I guess she does, even if she’s mean. Jesus, I can’t believe I just needed to talk to her sooner.”

“That’s usually how things work—it’s called communication, and you should talk to her.”

His eyes narrowed, and he smacked your ass, making you giggle. “There’s no need for the sass, sweetheart, and I was plannin’ on bitin’ the bullet and tellin’ her about us in the next couple of days.”

Your eyes widened. “You were? What?”

“Yeah, uh, I had a hard time with Ellie bein’ sick, and when you came over, I didn’t feel like I was goin’ insane with worry. Havin’ you there made it better, and I missed you.” His lips dip in a frown.

“I missed you, too—you were really gonna tell her?”

“I was.” He nods. “With how happy she was to see you, I thought maybe she’d be okay with it.” He shrugs.

You smile. “I think you’re right,” you reply, giving him a quick kiss. Meeting his gaze, you ask, “Is she feeling better?”

“Yeah, and thank Christ, she is.” He looks visibly relieved. “I think it was that soup you brought over—thank you for that and for givin’ me a chance to sleep.” He pecks you on the lips.

“It was no problem. I would’ve been there the entire time had it not been suspicious.”

He smiles. “I know.”

“Good. Sooo, I’m wondering, what are we now?”

“A couple,” he answers. “I’ve thought that for a while, but I’m too fuckin’ old to be callin’ myself your boyfriend.”

“I quite like having a sexy, older boyfriend.”

You squeak in surprise when he rolls you onto your back, your legs automatically opening for him to nestle his hips between. He’s holding himself up with his arms beside your head while yours loop around his neck, his lips pressing to the side of your throat, kissing the taut skin.

“You like havin’ a sexy, older boyfriend, huh?” His question is muffled, and you swallow hard when he sucks on your pulse point.

“I do,” you reply.

“I like havin’ you.” He’s kissing and nibbling along your jaw.

“‘Cause no one else can?”

He nips your chin, then hovers his head over yours to look you in the eyes.

His expression is serious. “Yes,” he says, “and I love you—if Ellie really doesn’t give a shit about me datin’, then every fuckin’ person in town is gonna know you’re mine.”

And something about that declaration thrills you.

“I’d like that.”

He gives you a small smile and kisses you for a moment before a thought comes to him, and he pulls back to meet your gaze.

“Maybe that neighbor, the annoyin’ one who doesn’t seem to know the meanin’ of no, will finally get it through her head, I’m not fuckin’ interested.”

You glare off into the distance. “Fucking Sandra,” you seethe.

The first time he met you, Joel knew he was fucked.

All he wanted to do was be polite and introduce himself to his new neighbor, then you opened the door, and his brain stopped working because you were so beautiful. It didn’t help when you blatantly checked him out, clearly undressing him with your eyes before looking entirely too pleased with what you were seeing.

If he’d been a stronger, honorable man, he wouldn’t have accepted your offer to come inside for a drink; he wouldn’t have kissed you back or laid you down on the couch to eat your pussy; he wouldn’t have let you choke on his dick or crawl into his lap and ride him; he wouldn’t have gotten so lost in being buried in your wet, warm, perfect cunt and your lips on his that he forgot to pull out when he came; he wouldn’t have gotten addicted and returned to you almost every night after.

If he’d been a stronger, honorable man, he would’ve ended things before it went too far and definitely before he fell in love with you.

From the beginning, he knew he was way too old for you, and he didn’t understand why you wanted him or kept letting him into your house. He had nothing to offer you, yet even when the opportunities arose for you to go home with men your own age, you rejected them and welcomed him into your bed instead. It made little sense that someone as young and beautiful as you would give someone like him all of your attention.

He’s lost count of how many times he’s told you that you’d be better off with somebody younger than him. It’s usually when he remembers your age or when you don’t know what he’s talking about when he brings up certain things from how life was before it all went to hell. He says the words out loud, practically a reflex at this point when the guilt gets to him, and as quickly as the feeling comes, it goes because, as he told you, he’s selfish; he doesn’t want you with someone else; he wants you all to himself. When you tell him there isn’t anyone you’d rather be with than him, it feeds something deep inside of him that won’t let you go, and hearing you say you love him has only made it stronger—you have his total devotion.

Ellie being sick messed up his head enough that in the moments when you came to mind, he was plagued with the thought that you probably found someone new. The only time he felt a modicum of peace was when you stopped by, and with that and how much his kid loved you being there, and in general, he came to the conclusion he couldn’t lose you:

It was time for him to tell Ellie.

Joel isn’t delusional; you’d grow tired of only getting his nights and the occasional day, eventually, and he needed to give you more of himself, which required his daughter to know about your relationship.

If Ellie knew, then he could give you more.

He’s ashamed of himself for hiding your relationship and, in turn, not having much to offer in terms of a future. It bothers him so much that he hasn’t been able to be with you out in the open because you deserve better than being his dirty little secret, as you call yourself.

He hates that.

He wants everyone to know you’re his and that he is yours.

When he realized he was going to tell Ellie, he started imagining how your relationship would change. You could finally have a life together, and it had him thinking about things he never would’ve considered before you and actively tried to prevent in the past, but you didn’t mind the idea of bringing a new life into the world, and he thought that might not be so bad; Jackson’s safe, and he has no doubt you’ll be a great mother—and it’s a future he’s pretty sure you want since your reactions have always been positive when he accidentally finishes inside you. That’s why tonight he decided to say fuck it and asked if he could; he wasn’t worried about the consequences anymore.

He’s kicking himself in the ass for not talking to Ellie sooner.

The only reason he hasn’t broached the subject with her is after what happened in Colorado, Joel’s treated her like she’s a fragile piece of glass that he doesn’t want to risk getting broken again—the way she lost her spark after that resort town killed him; and what happened at the hospital? If he had the chance, he’d murder every one of those Fireflies again for how fucked up she was when he told her their plans to kill her without knowing for sure if they could make a cure or not and that her life meant nothing to them.

It took a lot of time for him to put her back together again, and being in Jackson helped a lot with her making friends and having some semblance of normalcy. But he’s worried any major changes will mess her up, and add in her biggest fear of ending up alone, Joel dating seems like a recipe for disaster—Ellie will always be his top priority, even if it’s at the expense of his happiness.

It’s early morning, and he’s got another thirty minutes before the sun will begin its ascent on the horizon, fresh snow coating the ground, the temperature freezing. Joel is skulking home from your place to be there before Ellie wakes up.

His point of entry is the back door that leads into their kitchen, which doesn’t make as much noise as the front and can be locked when he leaves. He’s staying close to the side of the house, heading toward the backyard, and peeks around the corner to check the vicinity—his heart pounds when he sees a dark figure trying to get into the door, Joel pulling the knife, he walks around with, off of his belt, keeping his steps light, silently approaching them.

“Why the fuck don’t we have a light back here?” he hears them quietly mutter.

“Ellie?” Joel says at regular volume.

“Ahhh!” she screams, turning in his direction. Her hand is over her winter coat-covered chest. “Jesus Christ, Joel! Way to give me a fucking heart attack!”

He walks closer, sheathing his knife, as he says, “What the hell are you doin’ out here?”

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

His hands perch on his hips. “Doesn’t matter—you, on the other hand, just got over bein’ sick and shouldn’t be out in this cold. Move, I’m gettin’ your ass inside.”

She stepped aside, and he walked over, quickly unlocking and opening the door; he grabbed her by the shoulder and firmly guided her inside. He flicked on the room’s light once they were inside, and the door was closed and locked, Joel crossing his arms over his chest.

“Now, where the fuck have you been?” he asks.

She’s unzipping her coat. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“I asked you first.”

She shrugs off her jacket and tosses it onto the kitchen table. Joel sighs, walking over to pick it up—he’ll hang it alongside his by the front door before he goes up to his room.

“I was at the same place you were.”

He keeps his face neutral, but his heart is thudding, and he’s pretty fucking sure she wasn’t at your house.

He meets her eyes. “And that is?”

She smirks. “My secret girlfriend’s.”

“Goddammit.” His fingers press to his forehead as he closes his eyes. “You fuckin’ know—how the fuck do you know?”

“Let’s see, she’s literally the only person in town aside from me and Tommy’s family you like. You stare at her with, I don’t know what to call them, googly eyes? It’s that look the dudes have when they see the love of their life, or whatever, in those shitty romantic movies we like to make fun of. I’ve heard you call her ‘sweetheart’—” She fake gags, and Joel sighs. “—you’ve gone over to her house to fix so much shit that, at this point, it’s gotta be a whole new house. You sneak over there every fucking night. Oh, and when she sees the lady next door, the crazy one who’s got a real hard-on for you—gross by the way—when she sees ‘you can call me, Sandy,’ flirt with you—double-gross—I’m pretty sure she’s plotting murder; you’re definitely plotting murder when guys hit on your girlfriend—which, I don’t get why the two of you pretend like you aren’t together; is she embarrassed that you’re so fucking old and ugly, or something?” His teeth clench, and he glares at her. “God, don’t give me the murder eyes, Joel! I was kidding!” She playfully punches his arm. “Kind of… I mean, I’m happy you found someone who loves you even though you’re a grumpy asshole and look like that.” She points at his face.

“You done?”

“Telling you you’re old and ugly? Sure. For now. But I have one more thing that gave you guys away.”

His eyebrow lifts. “What is it?”

“When she came over the other day while I was sick as balls and hung out with me, you slept. Joel, you do not fucking sleep if there’s anyone else here besides me, which is why if I wanna have a sleepover with my friends, I have to go to their houses.”

“Were we really that obvious?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

She’s clearly confused. “I thought we were avoiding the topic.”

“What topic?”

“Like, relationships—you never said anything to me, so I figured it was something we don’t talk about.”

He cringes. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel…”

She smiles. “I don’t give a fuck if you date, Joel—if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

He matches her look. “I’m pretty fuckin’ happy. Are you happy with your uh, girlfriend? Have I met her?”

“Yeah,” she nods, grinning. “It’s Cat!”

His eyes round—he was under the impression Cat is her best friend, and he has met the other girl many times.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re way better at this secret girlfriend stuff than I am. I had no clue. I like Cat; she’s got all those neat tattoos.”

“She does!” she replies with a grin. “And I’m getting one!”

“You’re what?!”

Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[bisexual-spiderling]

Honey | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: A party is supposed to be the time of your life, but this party quickly turns into a nightmare. You called your Dad’s best friend Joel Miller. He comes to your rescue, and he is not too happy with your boyfriend…

Paring: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Tags: dbf! Joel Miller, protective Joel Miller (he would literally burn the world and not let a flame touch you), you have an asshole boyfriend (OC bf: Henry, OC best friend: Maya), age gap (you’re 21, Joel is 35), no outbreak au, hurt/ comfort, no smut in this part but part 2 will, just fluff, Joel Miller is a softie, Joel is a GENTLEMAN

Warnings: SA attempt- not by Joel (it’s very brief. I won’t get into too much detail), and vomiting. If any of this triggers you in any way, please don’t read!

A/n: Hello beautiful people!! Ahhhhh!! I’ve been wanting to do a dbf! Joel Miller fic for so long, and I’m so excited to write this! I will separate this story into 2 parts. Maybe I will add more, we shall see. Here is part 1. I hope y’all enjoy! <3

Pt. 1

Pt. 2: (in progress)

Masterlist

“You remembered,” you said. Joel tilts his head.

“With what?”

“You remembered I liked honey in my tea,” you said with a soft smile. Joel smiles back.

“Of course I remembered. I remember everything.”

College is all about discovering who are, learning new subjects, trying drugs and alcohol, and being wild and free, right?

You go to a university near your hometown, and you love it. It was a party school and parties were thrown left and right, and you don’t even need to be invited. You absolutely loved it. As you were a teenager, you didn’t have much experience with alcohol, drugs, parties, and even sex. You have very strict parents. They wouldn’t even let you have a sleepover. So college was the perfect opportunity for you to do all the things you missed as a teenager.

You went to a bunch of parties and met a lot of people. You even met your first-ever boyfriend, Henry. He was very much a playboy, but you felt like he was different with you. You were so wrong…

You both have been dating for just a few months. Your parents met him, and even your Dad’s best friend Joel Miller met him too. You might as well make him part of the family now.

Henry got invited to one of the biggest parties that was being thrown at your college. It was an end-of-the-year type of party, and Henry of course invited you along.

The party was on a Friday night at a frat house, and there were so many lights and music blaring through the speakers. You and Henry entered inside, and you saw him dab up some of his buddies. You stand there awkwardly. Without any warning, Henry then yanks your hand to come closer to him and his friends.

“So this is my girl. Babe, meet the boys,” Henry said.

His friends look at you up and down like you’re a piece of meat and one of them even whistles at you.

“Damn, so she is real,” one of his friends sneers.

Henry playfully punches his shoulder.

“Yeah she is, and she’s sexy,” Henry bragged.

You felt disgusted. You didn’t even feel valued or even flattered. You did not feel like a girlfriend. You just felt like a trophy that is being shown off to a bunch of assholes.

“She is hot. You did good bro,” his other friend chimed in.

You internally rolled your eyes, and you immediately needed a drink. Henry can be so sweet and kind to you, but then there are times when he’s like… well this.

“I’m gonna get a drink,” you said to Henry. You started to walk away from him and his friends.

“Alright, go get me one!” Henry yelled back.

You give him a quick nod and walk to the drink station. As you were making yourself a drink, a girl gives you a big hug almost making you spill your drink everywhere. It was your best friend, Maya.

“Hey girl!! You’re here!!” Maya squealed while hugging you tightly. You laughed and hugged her back.

“Oh my God! I didn’t know you were coming to this party.”

“Of course I’m gonna be here. I’m here to get fucked up,” Maya laughed. You laughed too.

“Who are you with?” Maya asked.

“Oh, just my boyfriend. You?”

“My boyfriend too, also some of my friends. We’ll actually be by the pool outside. We’re gonna… you know,” Maya then makes a smoking signal with her hand referring to weed.

You chuckle and nod your head, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Maya gives you one last hug and starts to leave you.

“Well, I’ll be outside. See you around!”

Maya skips away, and you smile at her. You finish making your drink and start heading back to Henry. Henry doesn’t even hesitate to take your drink and chug it down tossing the empty cup to the side.

Shit. You realized you forgot to make him a drink, and he was thinking your drink was his.

“Where the fuck were you? You took forever I was finally growing a beard,” Henry teased.

You weren’t even that amused by him. He’s just rude, especially when intoxicated. You were still not over how he let his friends treat you that way. You honestly would rather hang with Maya than with him, but you hope for the night to go better.

“Sorry, I was talking to Maya,” you replied.

Henry looks at you with a puzzled face.

“Who the fuck is Maya?” he asked.

Now you’re really annoyed. Maya is your best friend, and you’ve told him about her so many times. He’s even met her, yet he still can’t remember anything you tell him.

“My best friend…” you said with a tint of annoyance behind your voice.

“Ohhhh right right,” Henry said while slapping his forehead. Henry then takes a vodka bottle and hands it to you.

“Here drink,” Henry said. You take a swig of the vodka bottle, and you gag.

“Fuck, I forgot how nasty vodka is,” you said. Henry laughed.

“Now let’s have some fun babe,” Henry said while grabbing your hand and leading you to the dance floor.

The night goes on, and the party does not seem to die whatsoever. Maya did leave eventually, and now it’s just you and Henry. You and Henry are absolutely drunk and wasted. You both have been dancing, playing beer pong, and even at one point you both jumped in the pool. You forgot that you were even annoyed with Henry. You were having so much fun.

Your memory is now becoming bits and pieces. You were so drunk, you didn’t even know where you were, but you somehow ended up in someone’s room and Henry was with you. You were both making out on the bed.

You never had sex before. You’ve done oral sex, and you’ve received oral sex. And you’ve been fingered, all by Henry, but you’ve never done the real deal. However, tonight feels like it’s leading up to it.

Henry is on top of you kissing you and your body. He started to take off your clothes, and he was so rough with it that he ripped a fabric on your top. He then starts taking off his shirt. He holds you down roughly and hard. Your shoulder started to hurt because of how hard he was holding you.

You were drunk, and it was hard for you to piece everything together. But you were able to realize what was going on. You didn’t want your first time to be like this. You didn’t want this at all. You begin to push Henry away from you.

“H-Hen… stop,” you mumbled. You kept trying to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. You were incapable of pushing him away. Henry continues kissing you and slurs his words.

“Come on baby… I know you want this,” Henry slurred. You try pushing him away again. Nothing. He kept kissing you and touching you.

“P-please stop,” you said again except this time your voice was a little louder. Henry pretended to not hear you and kept kissing you. He started to unbuckle his pants which made you snap. You pushed him with all your might, and he fell backward.

“I said stop!!” you yelled and curled up into a ball covering yourself feeling small and vulnerable. Henry pulls up his pants, clearly angry at you.

“What the fuck!!” Henry yelled furiously. You started to scramble looking for your clothes and quickly putting them on. Henry walks towards you, and you immediately back away from him.

“G-get the fuck away from me!” you yelled and before you can even hear Henry’s reaction, you were already running down the stairs and going outside to the front yard. You were holding back tears still trying to process what just happened.

You took out your phone and looked through your contacts. You were thinking of calling your parents to come pick you up, but you couldn’t. Your parents would kill you if they even found out you were drinking and partying.

Say bye-bye to university, and say hello to community college while living with your parents. You kept looking through your contacts, and you couldn’t call anyone. All your high school friends are in different colleges, and your other family members don’t live in your town.

Then you thought of Maya. You clicked on her contact picture, and your phone barely even rang. It just went straight to voicemail. You tried calling again, and it was the same thing. It went straight to voicemail.

Shit, her phone must have died. You wanted to cry now that you have no one to contact. You look through your contacts again, and you see his name. Joel Miller.

Joel Miller, your Dad’s best friend. You’ve always had a little crush on him since you were 18. You always texted your friends that the Joel Miller was at your house hanging with your dad. He always gave you butterflies. He didn’t even have to say anything. He could just look at you with his deep brown eyes and your stomach would flutter.

His broad shoulders, scruffy beard, big hands, his rough voice, his muscles, his natural musk, everything about this man made you feel things you never felt before.

You wish he would want you in that way, but you were probably too young in his eyes, and on top of that, he’s your dad’s best friend. It could never happen. It’s absolutely forbidden. It was just a harmless crush, so what’s wrong with that?

But he was always kind to you. He was always there to give you advice. He always listens and never invalidates you. He understands you. You love your parents with all your heart, but you feel like they don’t get you. But Joel does.

And he’s funny. His jokes are always corny, but you can’t help to always laugh. You both had stupid inside jokes with each other. You both had a bond that felt like it could never break, but when you met Henry, you and Joel’s relationship started to fade. You didn’t talk to him much, and you didn’t see him that much either. This may also be because you never visit home. You wanted to be free and do all the things you were never allowed to do, but tonight made you realize you should go home more often.

You look at Joel’s contact longingly and you finally click his contact. He was the only one nearby that you knew since your university was close to your hometown. You crossed your fingers that he would answer. You were scared he wouldn’t pick up. It was close to three in the morning, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. Your phone kept ringing, and finally, it stopped.

“Hello?” Joel asked in a groggy voice. He clearly was waking up from his sleep, which made you feel bad, but you needed him.

“J-Joel?” you said with some distress in your voice.

Joel sits up and his voice quickly becomes concerned.

“What happened?”

Now he’s awake. You tried to hold back tears as you tried explaining to Joel what happened.

“I- I was at a party w-with my boyfriend and he…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence. You started to cry softly.

“Did he hurt you?” Joel asked. This time his voice became gruff. It was almost unrecognizable. Joel was always a calm man, but this time it was different.

“Can you please just pick me up?” you whimpered as tears fell down your face. You couldn’t even answer Joel’s question. You just wanted to leave this party.

On the other end of the line, you can hear Joel standing up, and grabbing his keys.

“I’m on my way. Send me the address.”

Your fingers were shaky as you typed the address to Joel. You can hear Joel start his truck.

“Do you have a friend at the party that you can stay with in the meantime?”

“N-no she left already,” you said while choking on your tears.

“Okay, just stay put. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. Okay?” Joel said. His voice was gentle and reassuring. He’s going to pick you up, and it’s going to be okay.

“O-okay.”

You hang up the phone and sit on the ground hugging onto your knees. You felt so cold and dirty. You cried even harder as you waited for Joel.

~~

It wasn’t even 15 minutes, and Joel was already pulling up with his truck. He must have been speeding to get here that fast. You stood up at the sight of his truck. Joel stops the truck and gets out immediately walking towards you. There was concern and worry written all over his face.

Joel studies your face and looks all over your body as if he was searching for any injuries you may have.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Joel asked frantically. He touches your face softly, and before you can even answer him, his eyes travel to your shoulder. He freezes. He sees the fabric of your top torn. He looks at you then back at your shoulder. He takes his hand and unfolds the ripped part of your top. He sees the bruise that was forming on your shoulder. Joel looks at you again. His eyes weren’t soft anymore. They were filled with rage.

“Did he hurt you?” Joel asked coldly. You stuttered. You didn’t want this to be a bigger issue. You just wanted to go home.

“Joel I- it’s nothing I swear,” you replied.

Joel ignored you. He knew Henry hurt you, and he was furious. He never liked Henry from the very beginning. He always knew he was a douchebag.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

In the blink of an eye, Joel was already heading towards the frat house. He was gonna find him, and he was gonna make him regret for ever laying a finger on you. Joel saw pure red.

You immediately grabbed his arm trying to hold him back. You then hold onto the front of his shirt with your hands. Joel didn’t look at you. He only looked at the house with the only intention to go in there and beat the shit out of Henry.

“Joel please don’t. H-he’s not worth it, please. I- I just want to go home, p-please,” you begged as your voice cracked and tears ran down your cheeks.

Joel then looks at you and the rage behind his eyes vanishes. His eyes softened at the sight of you. You were so broken and scared, and he just wanted to keep you safe and make you feel safe. He would never want to upset you more. He wanted to kill Henry. That didn’t change, but you didn’t need that right now. You needed someone by your side, and he was going to do that for you.

You kept begging Joel to not do anything, and he eventually calmed you down by surrendering all of his anger. He nods his head and holds onto your hands that were grabbing his shirt.

“Okay… okay,” Joel softly said. You sighed in relief.

“Thank you…” you whispered. Joel looks at you with the most gentle eyes while holding your hands.

“You want me to take you to your parents?”

You immediately panic at the idea of being at your parents. They would kill you if they ever found out about any of this.

“No, no, please. Not my parents,” you said quickly.

You were thinking of him just dropping you off at your dorm, but you didn’t want to be alone. Not tonight.

“You want to stay at my place?” Joel asked.

The amount of relief you felt that he suggested that. You would love that. To be with him, to feel safe.

You nod your head, and with that, Joel gives you a soft "okay" and wipes your excess tears with his thumb. His gentle touch made you melt. You never wanted him to stop touching you.

Joel then grabs one of your hands and walks towards his truck. His hand was so much bigger than yours, and it made your stomach flutter.

Joel opens the passenger door and leads you inside. He takes off his jacket and puts it over you. It smells just like him. It made you feel so safe. Joel then puts on your seatbelt and closes the door. He walked to the other side getting on his seat and was about to start the truck, but he hesitated. He still wanted to go inside and punch Henry right in the face. You notice his hesitation, troubled face, and the way he was gripping the wheel tightly. You knew he wanted to fight Henry. He didn’t even have to say anything.

"...Joel?"

You put your hand on his arm to break him out of this trance and reassure him, and he immediately looks at you. All the features on his face soften. You both said nothing to each other. There was no need for words. Joel sees you, and you’re safe. He wants to keep it that way, so he breaks eye contact as you let go of his arm. He starts the truck and drives away from that nightmarish party.

Joel drove, and the both of you were silent. You didn’t say a word and neither did he. Joel was itching to know what happened to you, but he knew it was bad. He didn’t want to push you to say anything that you’re not comfortable with. He kept his hands on the wheel and occasionally would look at you just to make sure you were there. He felt silly that he would even think you would disappear from him, but he physically needed to make sure you were there, safe.

You stopped crying, and you felt the dried tears crusting all over your cheeks. You kept your face forward not looking at Joel. You did feel him look at you from time to time, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to look at him right now.

Finally, Joel pulls up to his driveway. His house was the same as always. He still had flowers in his front yard, which you always teased him about, but he takes very good care of them by the looks of it. You saw the same two plastic flamingo statues in his front yard. Sarah, his daughter, picked them out and added her own designs onto them which included stickers and glitter. You find it very wholesome that Joel never took the flamingos down.

Sarah was only 7 now. Joel and his ex-girlfriend had an unexpected pregnancy hence Sarah was born. They broke up and never got married, but they made a mutual agreement to co-parent. Sarah will stay at Joel’s for a couple of weeks then she will stay at her Mom’s for a couple of weeks.

It always crushes Joel when she has to go. Sarah is his whole world, and he is such a good Dad. You saw how good of a Dad he is.

Joel stops the truck and the both of you get out. Joel gets out his keys and unlocks his front door.

“Is Sarah here?” you asked meekly.

“No, no she’s not here. She’s with her Mom right now,” Joel replied. You nod your head. Joel leads you inside into the living room letting you sit down on the couch.

The inside of his house was the same. Nothing has changed. It was so manly, yet it was sprinkled with girly stuff all around because of Sarah.

“I’m gonna make you some tea, okay?” Joel said.

And before he could leave, your stomach dropped at the idea of being alone. You didn’t want to be alone, not now. You instantly held his arm.

“W-Will you be back?”

Joel noticed your panic and bent down at your level.

“Of course I’ll be back. I’ll be right over there, okay?” Joel reassured you with a soft smile. You nod your head, and he leaves the living room going into the kitchen to make tea.

You sat on the couch waiting for him. You slowly started to feel anxious being alone, but then you would hear a little noise in the kitchen which gave you comfort that he was still here. He never left you, and it’s going to be okay. You look around the living room trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. You look at the pictures around you. Some had just Joel and Tommy, his brother, being goofy with each other. There were others with just Joel and Sarah. There was one picture in particular of Sarah sitting on his shoulders with the biggest smile on her face, and Joel’s smile was even bigger. It made you smile. It was so sweet seeing this. Joel and Sarah against the world.

You picked up the picture taking a closer look. You looked at the picture longingly, and you got interrupted by the sound of Joel's footsteps. You looked up, and Joel was there with your tea in his hand. Your cheeks flushed feeling flustered, and you immediately put the picture down.

“Sorry,” you said.

“No, it’s okay honey. You know, Sarah kept begging me to get on my shoulders. I kept saying no, but I learned that day, I can never say no to that face,” Joel chuckled. You chuckled as well. You can perfectly envision it. Seeing Sarah begging for something, and Joel eventually giving in after saying no multiple times.

“Well, it made a good picture.”

“Yeah it sure did,” Joel said while sitting down on the couch. You sit down next to him, and he gives you your tea.

“Thank you,” you said as you take your tea.

“Of course darlin’,” Joel replied.

You blew on the top of your tea and took a sip. You recognized there was honey in it as there was a kick of sweetness. You loved honey in your tea. He remembered. He remembered you liked honey in your tea.

You look at Joel, and he is already looking at you finding approval if you liked the tea or not.

“You remembered,” you said. Joel tilts his head.

“With what?”

“You remembered I liked honey in my tea,” you said with a soft smile. Joel smiles back.

“Of course I remembered. I remember everything.”

You look at him in awe. This man cannot be more perfect. Henry couldn’t even remember your best friend, but Joel remembered you liked honey in your tea. It made your heart flutter, and your cheeks become warm. You eventually broke eye contact and kept drinking your tea.

“So, I don’t see you much anymore,” Joel said breaking the silence.

You felt him looking at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You kept looking at your tea almost feeling a little ashamed you don’t visit home often.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know I should be visiting home more often,” you replied.

“No, it’s okay. I mean you’re an adult. You should be able to make your own decisions, but… it would be nice to see you more often.”

You look up at him and give him a playful smirk, “Do you miss me?”

Joel chuckles as if that was a foolish question.

“Of course I missed you.”

His face became serious. He means it. He misses you so much. After your freshman year of college, you stopped going home. He understood that you’re probably having fun in college with friends and with boys, but he wanted to see you so bad. He would often visit your Dad not even to see him, but to see if you visited home. Each time, it was a disappointment.

“Well, I’ll visit more often,” you said.

Joel gives you a smile.

“Good.”

You kept sipping on your tea, and it was a comfortable silence between you two.

“Are you okay honey? After… tonight?” Joel asked.

You freeze and become tense. You grip harder onto your tea. You wished this never happened at the party. It happened so fast, you’re still trying to process everything. You felt so naive and stupid.

“I… I don’t know. Henry’s a dick.”

“Yeah, he is. And if I ever see him, I’ll beat his ass,” Joel said. You give a humorless laugh. It was supposed to be a joke, but Joel was also very serious.

“I know you will.” You take another sip of your tea, and Joel puts his hand on your unharmed shoulder.

“Look, I don’t know what happened tonight, and I’m not gonna force you to say anything. But I’m here for you always, and you’re safe. I would never do anything to hurt you or make you afraid, okay? I’ll always be here if you need to talk.”

Tears started to build up in your eyes. Joel cared for you so much, and you knew he would never hurt you like the way Henry did. You start to cry, and Joel without hesitation puts your tea to the side and puts you on his lap.

“Oh honey, c’mere. C’mere. It’s okay. You’re okay,” Joel mumbled into your hair.

You sit in his lap crying onto his chest. Joel rubs his fingers through your hair so tenderly. He whispered comforting words to you over and over again. You felt so safe, so protected. Nothing can harm you now being with him.

Joel continues holding you. You both sit that way for a few minutes, but your stomach starts to turn. You felt nauseated as you felt your body slowly start rejecting the alcohol in your stomach.

“Joel I’m gonna throw up.”

Before Joel could say anything, you got off his lap and ran to the nearest bathroom. You opened the toilet and vomit immediately escaped your mouth. You kept throwing up, and you eventually felt Joel by your side. He held up your hair and rubbed your back.

Between throwing up, you kept apologizing. You felt embarrassed being this vulnerable with Joel, but Joel was so gentle with you.

“I’m so s-sorry Joel,” you sobbed.

“Shhh, don’t apologize honey. Just let it out.”

You throw up more, and Joel continues rubbing your back and holding up your hair.

“Attagirl, let it out.”

This went on for a few minutes, and you felt so much better. You caught up with your breath and leaned against the wall. Joel gets a towel and runs it in water. He tilts your chin up so that you’re looking at him.

“Look at me.”

Your stomach did a whole backflip as he said this to you. He takes the wet towel and starts wiping the excess throw up on your lips and your chin. His touch was so gentle and precise as he wiped away the remainder of your throw up. You felt your cheeks become warm as you felt embarrassed again.

“I’m sorry…” you mumbled.

“Honey, stop apologizing.”

You nod your head, and Joel finishes cleaning you. He observes your face.

“Hm, we should get your makeup off,” Joel suggested.

You don’t even know what your makeup looks like. It probably looked horrendous. Your cheeks became warm again.

“Follow me,” Joel said. The both of you get off the floor, and you flush the toilet. Joel led you to the master bathroom, and he started searching for something in his cabinets. He finally stops and pulls out makeup wipes. You looked at him confused because why would he out of all people have makeup wipes.

“Makeup wipes?” you asked curiously.

Joel chuckles. “It’s Sarah’s. She likes it when I do her makeup and sometimes she likes doing mine.”

You giggle softly. You found that very cute that he does her makeup, and that he allowed her to do his for fun.

Joel pulls out a makeup wipe and gently wipes the messy makeup off your face. He wasn’t aggressive or rough when wiping away your makeup. You just look at him unable to really say anything. He was so kind.

“There. All done.”

You felt so much fresher now that your makeup was off thanks to Joel.

“Thank you,” you said.

“Of course darlin’. You want uh… to change clothes?” Joel asked with a bit of hesitation in his voice.

You nod your head yes. Joel heads to his closet and pulls out one of his shirts and sweatpants. He then hands them to you.

“They might be a little too big, but it should work for tonight.”

“Thank you, Joel,” you respond with a smile.

Joel smiles back, “Of course honey. I’ll be downstairs on the couch.”

You hear Joel’s heavy footsteps walk down the stairs. You take off your ruined clothes and slip on his shirt and sweatpants. It looked huge on you. His clothes smelled just like him, and it was comforting.

You walk down the stairs meeting Joel on the couch. Joel looks at you and his eyes widen slightly. He clears his throat as he sees you. Secretly, he liked seeing you in his clothes.

You sit next to Joel on the couch. You wanted to get your mind off of everything that happened tonight. A movie would be a perfect solution for that.

“Can we watch a movie?” you asked.

Joel clears his throat again, “Yeah, yeah. What do you want to watch?”

“Jurassic Park.”

Joel smiles. “Ah, that’s a classic.”

“It’s a great movie,” you replied.

Joel turns on the TV and searches for Jurassic Park. It was on none of his streaming services, so he rented it for 4 dollars. You and Joel only sat next to each other. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t cuddle with him. You kept your distance and so did he.

As the movie kept playing, your eyes became extremely heavy, and you started to fall asleep. You didn’t realize, but you leaned closer to Joel and your head was on his shoulder. You fell asleep not even halfway through the movie. It was like your body and mind telling you that you were safe. No one is going to hurt you, and it’s safe to sleep. Joel is safe. Safe.

Joel noticed you slumped over on his shoulder. He didn’t dare to move. He found it endearing watching you sleep on his shoulder. He wasn't even watching the movie anymore.

The movie ends, and Joel turns off the TV. He carefully gets up and picks you up in his big arms. You groaned as he moved you into his arms, but you were fast asleep. Joel walks upstairs and goes straight to his bedroom. He gently sets you down on his bed and puts you under the covers. He wanted you to be comfy in his bed while he slept downstairs on the couch.

Joel tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and as he pulls away from you, you subconsciously reach for him. Even though you were asleep, it felt so empty without him being there. You whimpered and desperately searched for him in your sleep. You felt his arm, and you put his arm near your chest holding it like you were holding a stuffed animal. You stopped whimpering, and you felt safe again in your sleep.

Joel sighed. He didn’t want to leave you alone. You clearly didn’t want to be alone, so Joel decided to stay with you. He pulls himself into the covers with you, and he holds you from behind. You fit like a glove in his arms.

This felt so intimate for Joel. It almost scared him. He never wanted to be intimate with anyone after his ex, but he can’t help it for you. You were perfect. So perfect. What were these feelings he was feeling? You were like a delicate flower, and he didn’t want to wilt or crush you. He can’t feel this way, not with you. You’re his best friend’s daughter. It's wrong. So wrong, but Joel feels so warm and light when he’s with you. He never felt this before, but he brushed his thoughts to the side and pulled you in closer. This will be tomorrow’s problem, but now, he’s going to give you the support and comfort you need even in your sleep.

And the both of you fall into a deep, deep sleep.

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Thank you all for reading!!! I hope y'all enjoyed! Stay tuned for part 2... it's gonna get spicy ;)