bisexuallego

[bisexuallego]

i’m either overly detached or way too attached. there’s no in between

[bisexuallego]

why am I scrolling . What am I hoping to find

[bisexuallego]

murder-suicide can be a happy ending. if youre deranged enough

[bisexuallego]

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

[bisexuallego]

Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

[bisexuallego]

[bisexuallego]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[bisexuallego]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[bisexuallego]

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

[bisexuallego]

im sorry u cannot make me believe a sexy album cover is a real problem. U can’t. Not even in a like "actually I think it’s satirical or subversive or a commentary on blah blah blah" kinda way tbh maybe she just likes giving bjs and having her hair pulled and that is the entire meaning. So???? I still cannot find it in my soul to be bothered. Get it girl i guess like. Who cares? Who really cares? Why do any of you care ???????? The fascists have won and you care about sex???? Why???????!!!!!

[bisexuallego]

nothign wrong with me that an orgasm a glass of orange juice another orgasm tweleve hours of sleep another orgasm a fuckload of pasta another orgasm a hot bath anothe roorgasm a bullet to the head another orgasm taking up smoking anpther orgasm a large alcolgic beveerage and aother orgams wont fix

[bisexuallego]

asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

[bisexuallego]

what’s wrong? nothing in particular but everything in general

[bisexuallego]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[bisexuallego]

is anyone else not vibing with the always looming sense of impending doom or is it just me

[bisexuallego]

[bisexuallego]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters