bitchardhendricks

[bitchardhendricks]

rats of d20

[bitchardhendricks]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[bitchardhendricks]

[bitchardhendricks]

On Love and Community

@princes-heels // ? // @inkskinned // mitski, my love mine all mine//@littlespoonsokka // @boymiffy // @2aminhouston // ? // @theviralwitch // @noodle // @criterioncollectiongirl // @fatsoupy // ? // @mjalti // george saunders, congratulations, by the way// @jb-blunk // @ponchopeligroso // @headspace-hotel // everything, everywhere, all at once(2022) //@cheruib // ? // ? // @tordenvejr

[bitchardhendricks]

important life update: my dog came out of the woods with half of an artisanal baguette

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[bitchardhendricks]

cis people will say “I found out I’m having a baby girl at my anatomy scan and I’m experiencing gender disappointment” but be mad when you say “who knows? maybe you’ll end up with a son anyway”

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saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

[bitchardhendricks]

one day he'll follow you home

[bitchardhendricks]

jonathan harker's arc is about him accepting that he is actually into being dominated by an evil vampire as long as that evil vampire is the woman he loves. mina murray harker's arc is about her accepting that she has a right to take up space and speak her mind instead of bowing to social norms. lucy westenra's arc is about how the polyamory didn't change anything, it didn't save anyone, but it still matters that the polyamory was there. arthur holmwood's arc is about learning to cope with a sudden massive tragedy by opening himself up to others and strengthening his social bonds. quincy p morris's arc is about being hot and owning guns. abraham van helsing's arc is about not getting complacent in the idea that he has an open mind and accepting that he might make wrong calls based on his biases. jack seward's arc is about rebounding from life altering heartbreak by getting back in contact with his old favorite professor from med school who he sucked off one time. count dracula's arc is about fumbling a series of bad bitches so hard that he flees the country and dies.

[bitchardhendricks]

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

[bitchardhendricks]

Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?

I swear to God, it was an accident.

My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.

The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.

Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.

My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.

He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.

They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bitchardhendricks]

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

[bitchardhendricks]

brennan on murph crime is always present but getting a group of actual wwe superstars to say “honor the cock” is perhaps the most blatant example of it

[bitchardhendricks]

reblog for easter

[bitchardhendricks]

I'm just-

we classified the colossal squid in 1925, put together from pieces found in sperm whale stomachs.

we've found them dead or dying or in distress, floating on the surface or entangled by trawlers.

but now

in 2025

100 years later

we finally find one alive and thriving in the deep Antarctic sea

and it's a baby.

[bitchardhendricks]

i love the lawyer so much guys you dont understand. you first meet him and you think hes just another one off straight man character for the gang to bounce off of, but then as the episode progresses you realize hes just as batshit insane as the rest of them hes just more chill about it. he keeps a gun loaded in his desk drawer just in case of something like charlie kelly showing up unannounced demanding a duel (which he immediately agrees to and very excitedly yaps about how hes gonna put a bullet through charlies teeth and out the back of his neck)

hes petty as hell, has a restraining order against the gang but immediately tracks down maureen once he hears dennis is getting a divorce just so he can fuck him over in the legal process and then afterwards happily smiles and puts his hands over jacks hands for the photo (this ALways kills me)

and the proof that hes just as insane as the gang is that this motherfuckers life is never ruined whatsoever by them. every other reoccurring character forced to interact with the gang slowly deteriorates over time (cricket, the waiter, maureen, macs dad) but not the lawyer. the worst that happens is his eye getting attacked by guillermo del toros bird.

i love him so much. underrated side character