bitchpaw

[bitchpaw]

i think a lot of lgbtq people who are extremely into respectability politics and treat others like shit as a result of it are basically just forcing the burden of their own low self-esteem and self-hatred on to us and being like “it’s your duty to fix this. i will give you nothing in exchange but i will insult you and harass you whenever you’re not fixing my own personal issues”

[bitchpaw]

[bitchpaw]

do you ever think about how if bart or homer simpson got diagnosed with adhd and given the resources to address their neurodivergence they could finally get a chance to break the cycles of abuse and self-sabotage they live in and then feel kind of sad because they’re just cartoon men and their recklessness and carelessness and self-destruction and emotional volatility have been analyzed to death in feminist circles as toxic masculinity but you recognize so much of the way your own brain fails you in the constant cycles of frustration and despair and you just want someone to sit down with bart and say look, there’s a reason you can’t pay attention, can’t sit still, can’t behave, can’t think ahead, can’t control your impulses, can’t trust yourself or anyone else, can’t even imagine what it might be like to be as competent as your sibling, there’s a reason and it’s not because you’re a bad kid. it’s not because you’re a boy. there’s a word for what’s gone wrong and there’s medicine for it and you could be a better person. your dad could be a better person. your dad could stop spacing out at work and binge-eating and binge-drinking and getting so angry he hurts you and getting so sad he cries at night when he thinks you can’t hear. there’s help. there could be help. 

but they’re cartoons and men who fuck up are men who fuck up are men. you either laugh it off because men should get to fuck up all they fucking want to, or you get angry because men should take some goddamn responsibility for themselves for once– like we don’t see how awful homer feels that he can’t figure out how to be any better than he is, like we don’t see how much caring about himself hurts bart because he’s just a kid with the exact same inherited brain problems as his dad and he can’t fix what everyone tells him is wrong with him, and no one else can fix it either. 

there’s an episode where lisa wants to understand why her dad and brother are such fuckups and if she’s going to end up the same way. it’s concluded that all the simpsons men inherit being stupid and this can’t be changed and bart looks sad for a minute, before shrugging and running off to do something stupid, and it’s funny. it’s supposed to be funny. men can’t better themselves and it’s funny. cartoons can’t show us growth and change and hope because apparently no one wants to see that and it’s funny. 

these men will never age and they’ll never stop fucking up and they’ll never get any better. but they could. i got help. i got better. and it makes me sad sometimes. 

[bitchpaw]

HOT WENCH AUTUMN.

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Big Eden (2000)

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5,500 km route of a loggerhead sea turtle tracked by Turkish scientists.

Zoomable map >>

[bitchpaw]

I'm that bitch. Been that bitch, still that bitch. Will forever be that bitch

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this, uh... wish ad...

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It’s Eat His Pussy Thursday make sure you eat his pussy

[bitchpaw]

The level of performance you demand from bi people as a whole, but especially of bi women, is motherfucking insane. I really don’t get why you all demand bi women virtue signal their sexuality by “rejecting” men in order to not deem them gross lesbophobes by virtue of existing. “Even” if they prefer men that’s not necessarily out of some internalized homo/biphobia. They just like men. That’s kind of part of (most bi people’s) bisexuality. Shocker, I know.

A lot of the behaviors you all accuse bi women of (not taking other women seriously as partners, for example) are behaviors a lot of lesbians in denial exhibit too but in us you see victims of our own pain and misogyny who need help and understanding, while in bi women you see vile irredeemable perpetrators who must be ostracized and punished.

You blame them of their own abuse at the hands of cis straight men in ways that if you remove the “bi” from “bi women” you would recognize as disgusting victim-blaming, WHILE rejecting them & pushing them out of LGBT spaces, which, guess what you fucking geniuses; leaves them to have cis straight men as their only viable option. Funny how that works. You’re all “women should stay away from dating bi women” or “bi women fetishize lesbianism by wanting to be with women” but shame bi women for being with men IN THE SAME BREATH. What the fuck do you want them to do? Be celibate for your own biphobic comfort?

I legit saw idiots on Twitter say “normalize lesbians only dating other lesbians” as if that’s not what’s normalized already. Bi women are already seen as gross sluts that kiss women at parties to turn men on and only seriously date men. What the fuck isn’t normalized about lesbians dating lesbians only?

You think that I, a literal fucking dyke, didn’t see women at some point as hot for sex and men as the only viable partners for serious relationships? Would you see me as a disgusting dangerous misogynist for having been there, or as struggling with internalized homophobia? If it’s the later, why don’t you extend that same compassion to bi women? Only difference there is that I’m a lesbian and they’re bisexual.

Sure, they like men so being with men isn’t INHERENTLY torture for them like it is for me, but you don’t think that thinking/behaving that way is traumatizing for them too? They love women and are depriving themselves of that experience out of internalized biphobia, misogyny and homophobia. You think that doesn’t fuck them up too? They’re hurting too, but you think that, unlike a lesbian who does the same, THEY deserve that suffering.

And no one is telling you to date them or to suffer for them through it just because they’re suffering too. What you’re being told is to see them as the non-straight women they are who’re suffering too and understand the complexity of their situation the same way you would someone like me.

You think too that the “solution” to the horrendous rates of IPV they face with cis straight men is swearing off men. Would you tell straight women to do the same if they don’t want to be abused by male partners? You wouldn’t. Because you see straight women as not having “an option” but think bi women do and thus they MUST be asking to be abused. Literal “asking for it” shit. It’s all victim blaming + Boys Will Be Boys, but add a “bi” to it and it’s progressive somehow.

This points to you seeing women’s attraction to men as only ok when it’s not “chosen”, just a passive reception of misogynistic violence (which, way to take away the agency of women’s sexualities, you dumb bitches), but when they IN THEORY have a “choice” because they also like women, their attraction to men is active instead of passive, and thus they’re cock-sucking sluts who’re choosing to endanger themselves. You see women whose desire for men is active, as deserving of whatever results from their involvement with men. You can’t be a biphobe without being a misogynist.

You see bisexuality as a fractured amalgam of homosexuality + heterosexuality instead of its own standalone identity, and thus they can and MUST choose one or the other, because their “heterosexual” attraction and their gay attraction are in active competition within them like the fucking two wolves shit. You can’t be a biphobe without being a homophobe.

Bi women’s attraction to men is NOT normalized and biphobes are living proof of it. It’s not normalized; they’re bisexual, not straight. Their attraction to men coexists with, interlinks with and isn’t independent of their attraction to women. Bi women ARE shamed and punished for liking men because they don’t like men alone, they simultaneously like women and those are inseparable for them.

If it was normalized, it wouldn’t be widespread to blame them for the abuse they receive when involved with men, like they should pick a side for their abuse to count or matter. They wouldn’t be pushed out of LGBT spaces for being with men, it wouldn’t be seen by other LGBT people (even many bi women themselves) as a flaw in their sexuality that makes them a gay-straight chimera. They wouldn’t feel ashamed of their attraction to men. They wouldn’t be seen with suspicion for liking men if it was normalized.

Them simultaneously liking men is seen as not loving men “correctly” AND as not loving women “correctly”. No LGBT women (including cis bi women and straight trans women) are seen as doing love and sex “correctly”.

You can only claim bi women’s attraction to men is normalized if you see bisexuality as a Lego combo of straight + gay and thus their attraction to men is separable from their attraction to women. It’s not. They’re not cherry-picked bits and pieces of heterosexuality and homosexuality. They’re 100% bisexual, always, no matter in what way their bisexuality expresses itself. Be it bisexual with no preference, bisexual with a preference for women, or bisexual with a preference for men.

It’s not 50-50% straight-gay, 25-75% straight-gay, or 80-20% straight-gay respectively. ALL are 100% bisexual-bisexual. If you can’t respect that, you’re a homophobe and a misogynist.

And yes, it is HOMOphobic to see bi women with suspicion for liking men. You see “homosexual” attraction as inherently in jeopardy if there’s a coexisting “heterosexual” attraction because the gay one will be lesser and you see the “straight” one as a threat that’ll take precedent. That’s your gay insecurity from internalized homophobia speaking.

Then too, there’s a reason biphobes think bi men are secretly gay, and bi women are secretly straight. You see men as the superior and inevitable choice for both. That’s misogyny. If you’re a biphobe, you ARE undoubtedly a misogynist and a homophobe, even if you’re gay and/or a woman yourself.

Every time people make armchair judgements of bisexual women as man-worshipers all I can think of is my sister who cried rivers of tears to me about how painful and stressing it is to over-perform her attraction to men who’re not even her type (she likes gnc men!) just to stay closeted, and when I think of that, I wish so badly I could slap each and every person doing that.

And yeah! You read right, GNC MEN. Bisexuality is “gay enough”, “even” in their different-gender attraction, that plenty of bi women prefer gnc men, and plenty of bi men prefer gnc women. In fact, plenty of bi people, including the cis ones, are gnc themselves (with a specific tendency towards androgyny but there’s many who’re distinctly masculine/feminine at it) and thus much more visible as gay than someone like me; a fucking lesbian, but I’m fem-presenting.

“Bi people can stay closeted while in relationships.” So can gay men and lesbians who have beards, who hide our partners, whose partners are trans and closeted, if we’re trans and closeted ourselves, or if we’re single and not visibly gnc.

My relationship would be seen as straight by outsiders because my fiancé is a closeted trans lesbian. Unless you’re a transphobe you would NOT call that a fucking privilege. It’s not a fucking privilege that she’s forced to hide herself and hide that the nature of her exclusive love for women is gay. That shit fucking kills her inside. It’s not a privilege that to keep the love of my life safe and myself too I have to pretend that our love is straight when it was so fucking hard for me to just detect, let alone ACCEPT and take pride in that I don’t like men.

All of that keeps us safe, but at great emotional cost. Being closeted is safety for all LGBT people, but it’s not a privilege, it’s PAINFUL. You understand this when it comes to gay men and lesbians, and can feel compassion for us. Why not for bi people? Why are you so angry at bi people? Why do you hold so much contempt for bi people?

I’ll tell you why: BECAUSE YOU’RE BIGOTS.

[bitchpaw]

We want characters to either be loved or hated. One of the best examples of that is Solas. Half the community wants to kill him, half the people want to marry him, and another part want to do both.

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some dude: women have no uses other than as sexual objects, and they don't and shouldn't desire anything else. They are too stupid to be trusted with any power or agency, but at the same time they are master manipulators who will ruin the lives of anyone they touch. Any complaint they make about their treatment is just because they're bitter and looking for attention. Some self-proclaimed feminists: *bi women

LMAO YEAH

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help a black gay man who has been through some unfortunate circumstances get back on his feet 💜 trigger warning for csa, sex trafficking, abuse

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People will say that they’re all about respecting sa survivors until it comes to victims of incest. Will expand later.