bitchygladiatorprincess - Tumblr blog

[bitchygladiatorprincess]

I’m just using this as a rant page cause I can’t talk to other people lmao

[bitchygladiatorprincess]

I am the creator of my own loneliness

I've always kept people at an arms length, even the people that are close-ish with me. I have a lot of friends yet I've never felt so lonely in my life but I only have myself to blame. I hardly ever go out, or text anybody, or arrange anything and if it weren't for a few people who occasionally make me go out I wouldn't have any friends outside of school at all. My two longest friends forgot my birthday this year and I think it's because they genuinely forgot, because I don't make an effort anymore. I don't like talking to people about how I feel, I never really have. I especially don't like talking to my parents about that. My mum just tries to act like an annoying glorified therapist for an hour eventually breaking me down in to tears and I like to keep my relationship with my dad light-hearted. 

It’s a never ending cycle. I want friends and close relationships but I never make the effort. I never ask my mum to drop me off with my friends cause she always just complains and Icba dealing with it anymore. It’s easier to just do nothing but it’s so lonley