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[bitemetvt]

starting in January, Bite Me! TVT will become an askblog-comic hybrid

Asks will still be answered, but The Comic will be your main source for Story Beats

[bitemetvt]

well. you say you're human

part of being human is navigating the unknown of other people. including the fact yeah, some of these people are bad and would hurt you

"I. Suppose I have a lot to learn."

"Better. Better. I'm better now."

"Nobody is touching my church, or the people of it."

"Go rest, Lestat."

"Dawn is breaking."

"Alright."

"Goodnight."

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"Father Spice, I've returned-"

"Where WERE you?"

"You were gone for-"

"How long did he talk to you?"

"We talked for a while. But then, went to investigate with our combined knowledge."

"... and I told the person we were investigating where I reside."

"... but. He's a man of God."

"So. It couldn't be him. Right?"

"... ... ..."

"... Lestat."

"Sometimes, even those who follow the doctrines of the church can do. Terrible. Terrible things."

"An apple tree will always have a few apples that are Infested by Bugs."

"Your faith in the church, and its people, is pure and good. And I do not blame you for this. It is my fault for never correcting you. I am not mad at you."

"With that said."

"..."

He steps out of the room.

And there is an audible. Very loud. Very Distressed Scream into some sort of muffling surface.

"... if there is truly bad among the good."

"How am I supposed to know Who They Are?"

"..."

"Hm."

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tough shit lestat you gotta tell him. its the right thing to do

"..."

"The sun is almost up. I'd better hurry. Before people start waking up."

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the detective whose job it is to find usually human murderers thinks hes the murderer. you have to tell your dad that lestat

"He's n-"

"I mean. Okay."

"But I don't know if. He's gonna take it well."

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INCLUDE THE FACT YOU TOLD THE MURDER SUSPECT WHERE YOU LIVE

"Murder Suspect? I don't suspect him at all."

"He seemed like a Holy man. A man of God."

"Someone like that wouldn't hurt anyone."

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you should tell your dad what happened here, lestat

"See you tomorrow Mr. Hobbs-"

"He is not-"

"I. Fully intend to tell him what happened."

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jeremy your new friend si fucking doomed

"I will have to ask the Father about this, but-"

"I'll take care of this guy."

"You. Just. Go. Home."

"He was being. SO WEIRD."

"..."

"Alright, Mr. Hobbs. I apologize. For. Possibly impeding your-"

"You didn't impede anything."

"I don't- listen. He knows where you live. It's also almost Morning, and. I need to figure out exactly what I'll be doing about this."

"Going home may seem like the worst idea. But. It's a Church. People pass by it all the time. He won't be able to Do Anything."

"I don't know if he will. But. That does make sense."

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WHATS PLAN B. jeremy btw lestat told this guy where they live

"Oh. We're gonna stake out the cemeter-:

"YOU WHAT."

"What? What's wrong?"

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blondie the totally not a murderer wants to be friends with you. do you want to be friends with him

"..."

"... I. Don't know."

"..."

"BYE! BYYYYE!"

"WE'RE OUT."

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"My friend."

"Would you like to be. My Friend?"

"I. Um."

"I am on this earth to Protect God's People."

"I. Don't know if-"

"They're MY friend. So You can SUCK IT, BUDDY."

"Ah, where are we-"

"We're moving on to a PLAN B."

"And LEAVING."

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ok blade

"... what?"

"Do you want to be friends?"

"HUH?"

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what do you mean look lovely. theyre a fucking vampire

"They're touching silver and Not Burning."

"They're wearing a Cross and Not Burning."

"I am NOT a vampire."

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you win, clondie. check and mate. what now

"Um- it seems our friend has begun Rambling Violently. And pacing."

"... I haven't seen You before. Are you new to town?"

"Me?"

"Oh, no sir. I live in The Church."

"... I apologize if my appearance initially frightened you."

"You didn't scare me at all,"

"I think you look lovely."

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jeremy are you seriously falling for this. i thought you were the only sane man. hold it together

"I am NOT falling for it. I'm-"

"Duchess Darlene of Queensland."

"SHE'S FROM MAINE."

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hey blondie your distraction worked

"Huh? My what?"

"anyways, I heard she was a Very rich duchess."

"I COULD SMELL THE SULFUR COMING OFF HER CLOVEN HOOVES."

"And it was ARRANGED."

[bitemetvt]

divorce is when people stop being married

"You can do that?"

"YES."

"And it was VERY NECESSARY."

"That woman was EVIL."