bizarrebird

[bizarrebird]

the novelty of having a pet will never wear off on me i’ve had animals my entire life for 23 entire years and i still sometimes stop and go holy fuck there is just a little guy in my house

[bizarrebird]

I joke about being mean and evil but then people are Actually just genuinely shitty and I’m like. Doesn’t it make you feel bad when you act like that

[bizarrebird]

So many times the mean girl in movies would put on a fun performance with singing and dancing and lights just to lose to the boring main character who just stood there and sang a slow song it’s twisted it’s sick

[bizarrebird]

[bizarrebird]

Stuck.

(it’s 2am, and according to your therapist, you have “a whopping case of ADHD”

[bizarrebird]

hannibal lecter does the typical “are you a danger to yourself or others?” therapist thing but if they say yes he’s like nice.

[bizarrebird]

The way this app is so intimate but so isolating the only thing i can compare it to is like we’re all in a museum at the same time. Or eating in our cars in a mcdonalds parking lot

[bizarrebird]

no you dont understand, i’m obsessed with him

no you dont understand i’m obsessed with him

[bizarrebird]

i love people who are continuously surprised that there aren’t men kissing in marvel

[bizarrebird]

We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of one of our brethren, cruelly taken in his prime due to cholera. Which reminds me...

[bizarrebird]

Kon for years: I have a crush on Tim but he's straight 😔

Tim after Urban Legends: hey Kon meet my new boyfriend

Kon:

Kon: your fucking WHAT

Tim: my boyfriend bernard

Kon:

Tim: Kon, are you... homophobic?

[bizarrebird]

“I wish my favorite characters would go to therapy 😭 😭 😭” well I don’t! I’m having fun. I hope they kill even more people

[bizarrebird]

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything

[bizarrebird]

rb this and tell me the piece of media, art, literature, music, etc. that you feel was the turning point in the development of your personality

[bizarrebird]

my gender is picking “woman” on a form but feeling kinda weird about it

[bizarrebird]

[bizarrebird]

college is so STUPID why can’t i go 5 times and major in 10 different things for $999 total and then do like, 3 MFAs on the house