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Survivor’s Guilt

by Joseph Vazquez (@YungVazquez)

What responsibilities do you have to the past, in the present? When you make it out of the hood — or out of any shitty situation — what do you owe to those who are still struggling?

How are you supposed to feel?

Kendrick Lamar’s new album, To Pimp a Butterfly, resonates most for me when he addresses these questions of responsibility head-on. Specifically, all the emotions, tensions, and contradictions that come with making it out the hood. Survivor’s guilt.

In ‘Mortal Man’, Kendrick talks about it directly. He talks about gaining success and influence while ‘my loved ones was fighting the continuous war back in the city.’ More than just wars between gangs or against the police, these are wars to make a living, to feel empowered, to be respected.

Kendrick feels the hood’s struggle and internalizes it. It beats him up, but ultimately calls him home, to ‘tell the homies what I learned.’

It’s something that anyone who’s ‘made it’ can relate to.

I’m not Kendrick Lamar. I’m not from Compton. I’m not as rich or successful in my field. Nor do I have his influence.

But I am a Mexican-American kid from East LA who went from eating Lean Cuisines while Mom was in school to getting all meals served for me at work. I graduated from a good school and landed a nice job. I live in a nice apartment with a heated pool in a nice neighborhood.

And I care deeply about the people and places that I came from. It keeps me up at night.

It hurts me that my grandpa spent two years in a depression so paralyzing that he refused to speak. Why? Because he was given bad medication, but was unable to communicate that to his doctors. Or seeing my childhood friends struggle to find steady career paths because no one showed them that college is not just for nerds or rich, white kids. Or having my dad struggle with alcoholism, because, like 2Pac said, “once you turn 30 it’s like they take the heart and soul out of a man.”

I wish I could just go back and tell the homies what I learned, if it were as simple as that. But the reality is that it’s not.

Because success doesn’t prepare you for the disconnect between you and your old friends.

Drew, I hate that we don’t talk anymore, you were my best friend. But having to talk you off a ledge every time you drink really fucked with my head too.

Or the jealousy within your family that boils over into resentment.

Auntie, you should be happy that my Mom moved to London. Stop throwing shade over group emails.

Or even the smallest comments. Like when when your abuelita tells you “she no longer knows what color you are” (in Spanish).

Abuelita, if you only knew how hard I’m trying, not just for me but for all of us. So that we can gain more respect in this world.

Survivor’s guilt.

Kendrick puts words to, and thus validates, my feelings of alienation. He articulates the inner tension that comes from gaining success and influence in the bigger picture — whether in your job, school, or craft — yet feeling powerless to help the ones closest to you.

He puts it best in ‘u’, when he talks about his relationship with his sister:

Situation had stopped with your little sister bakin’ A baby inside, just a teenager, where’s your patience, Where’s your antennas, where is the influence, You preached in front of 100,000 but never reached her (u).

Every day, I regret not doing more to include my sister in my success, and being selfish in my pursuit of greatness. I should’ve realized that picking her up from school wasn’t enough. Leading by example wasn’t enough. I should have been there to listen and to sympathize. I should have shared the lessons I learned when I first realized I was a “minority’ in high school. I should have been there to empower her. I should have been patient.

But I was too busy hiding my differences that I lost sight of what mattered most: my people. That’s what keeps me up at night, and that’s what I’ll spend my life trying to make right.

Thank you, Kendrick, for reminding me that I’m not the only one.

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A Definitive Ranking of Scott Storch Productions*

After thorough investigation, I believe that have come up with a conclusive, top-ten list of Scott Storch productions*. Storch, the patron saint of taking L's, is known primarily for his work with the Roots in the 90s and later Dr. Dre in the early 2000s. Over time though, I've come to realize his contributions to The Culture run far deeper. Without further ado, the list, in ascending order (w/ official music videos):

Mario - Let Me Love You

Gucci Mane ft. Soulja Boy - Bingo

Jadakiss ft. Mariah Carey - U Make Me Wanna

The Game - Let's Ride

P!nk - Family Portrait

Ja Rule - Clap Back

50 Cent - Get Up

Fat Joe ft. Lil Wayne Make It Rain

Beyonce - Baby Boy

Big Boi ft. Cutty - Shutterbug

Beyonce Me, Myself, and I

Eve ft. Gwen Stefani - Let Me Blow Ya Mind

G-Unit - Poppin' Them Thangs

Lil Kim - Lighters Up

50 Cent - Just a Lil Bit

Terror Squad - Lean Back

Justin Timberlake - Cry Me a River

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck

*Productions meaning tracks he is credited for. In other words, no, "Still D.R.E." does not count.

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Sam Gelliatry - Belonging

There is a pretty rich history of rappers using film to color their tunes, but whereas before it felt like the majority of movie samples were used to further a mood (e.g. a Scarface bit in a song about being the new Scarface), some artists are finding more value in juxtaposition.

It all started for me with “N____ in Paris”:

(2:40-2:47)

I don’t even know what that means!?

No one knows what it means but it’s provocative

No it’s not, it’s just gross

It gets the people going!

For the longest, I had no idea where the sample came from (shouts to my fellow laggers), but that didn’t really take away from its effect. In a genre that takes itself way too seriously most of the time, Ye and Jay managed to poke fun at themselves and their seriousness with a goofy sample that’s more Weird Al than hip-hop. And the greatest part was that it didn’t mess with the flow of the tune -- it took it to another level. Suddenly it was okay to turn up and be silly at the same time. This was a watershed moment that made it all a little more complex and interesting: using vocal samples that stretch what we think about when we think about hip-hop.

See Jimmy Brooks. The former paraplegic turned rap superstar is a living contradiction: who else in the rap game stunts with that bar mitzvah money like his last name Mordecai? People can throw infinite shade, but you can’t argue with his track record of experimentation. In his still young career, Drake has proven that he’s willing to adopt a new flow or hop on unconventional beats in order to push the envelope. So is it a surprise that Drake threw Eastbound and Down samples in “We Made It”? Not really, but it’s another example of a nonsensical yet hilarious sample adding another dimension to an otherwise straightforward banger about handing out business cards and saying “N___ we made it!”.

We’re going to have so many f*ckin fixin’s up in this m*otherf*cker

This sh*t’s gonna go through the roof, man

Goddamn, I’m sh*tting gold these days!

This is why people like me like Drake . Singing along to a track like “We Made It” is as delusional as the homie Kenny Powers is most of the time. To be honest, I haven’t made it yet. But that’s okay because it’s a lot of f*cking fun to pretend sometimes. Isn’t that what we all do when we sing along to a rap track anyway? Including this sample feels like a wink from the 6 God himself. Like, yeah bro, you can dream too. Stunt on dem’ haters.

This all leads me to a new track by producer Sam Gellaitry called “Belonging.” The song begins with a sample from the most unlikely of places, Breakfast at Tiffany’s:

People do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness. You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

The sample itself embodies the point I’m making. Read Paul Varjak’s thirst-ridden monologue like this: “Holly, you can only go so far with this holier than thou attitude. Take a risk, baby. Go out on a limb and be with me, and let me take you to even further heights” ** cue Diced Pineapples **.

In other words, greatness is achieved through going beyond oneself, and exploring new things and people and ideas. It’s what a lot of good music does: start with a format or convention and then turn against it by exploring new sounds or structures. Kanye and Drake have become masters at this, and it’s awesome to see the young fellas like Sam G catching on as well.

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Jaden Smith's Been Dropping Heat Recently and I'm Not Entirely Sure How To Feel About It

I've never been as bullish on Jaden Smith as most. Sure, his online persona is endlessly hilarious, but to me, that never indicated a penchant for navel-gazing as much as it did an understanding of his personal brand. Plus, every single one of dude's tweets is certified platinum (word to @nonmogul) and as a dude still trying to get someone, anyone, to slide into his DMs (@QRosborough), I can respect that.

Last week, Jaden dropped "Fast," a song that at 1:45 in length, is oddly more interesting than most singles dropped this year (Thugger and Mustard-blessed tracks not included). It's so surprisingly good, in fact, it makes me come up with ridiculous statements like: "Yo, if Jaden dropped a full project this year, it would probably be more interesting than most rap albums to drop in 2014," which is exactly the type of wild statement your boy is prone to making just to win an argument at a bar.

For those still hating, consider this for a second: If "Fast" was made by anyone else, would you dislike it as much as you do? If your answer is yes, I respect that. And well, if your answer is no I respect that too because as R. Kelly has repeatedly made evident, separating art and artist isn't always so cut and dry. (If you don't agree, read this wild Village Voice article.)

At the end of the day though, does it really matter though that Jaden's pops is one of the most successful actors of all time? From Carlton to Geoffrey to Will Smith (character) to Will Smith (actor), didn't The Fresh Prince of Bel Air teach us to not judge a book by its cover? By preemptively dissing Jaden are we not just Uncle Phil-ing his Jazzy Jeff --tossing out a young dude who's just trying to get his shine on?

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that the discourse surrounding Jaden recently is a lot like what we were all saying about Drake in 2007 even though "Comeback Season" was raw af, and we were just being closed-minded and swaggerless.

I'm sure this article is gonna come back to bite me like everything I said about Odd Future before "Goblin" dropped. But I'm out here for the content culture, y'all. Also peep this dope remix Gravez dropped on soundcloud:

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Blaireau: "Centralia"

At a party last week, a friend introduced me to the possibility of using the phrase "No Flex Zone" defensively. Every time one of us would make a joke at his expense, he'd put his hands up and shout "Hey man, No Flex Zone!" in the same way one would call "no take backs." To him, declaring a space to be a "No Flex Zone" creates a barrier against any perceived flexes, in effect rendering the flexer ineffective (or flexless, if you will.). His logic is infallible.

Tumblr is littered with blog posts about recommitting one's self to blogging, and that's largely because it's an empty promise. Life happens man, and in my case, "Life" happened to be Fallout 3, and what I'm guessing to be seasonal affective disorder.

But yo, since your boy's been gone he's been up to a lot:

experimenting with speaking in the 3rd person

simping over various women

using the phrase "that's not hip hop" as a euphemism for bad

rediscovering my love for The Diplomats

watching hella vine comps

and becoming a capital "w" Writer

I quit this blogging thing to get out in the real world and try to connect with people, but as it turns out I have a predilection for talking to strangers over the internet, so I'm back at it (Juug Man voice).

Imma save all the talk about how I'm gonna get back to posting regularly, cause I don't even believe that mess myself. I'm going to write until I don't feel like it anymore. You leave me alone. I'm allowed to do that on my blog, word to the god Bill Simmons. No Flex Zone.

Anyway, I'm out here rambling like a black supremacist (which, ironically enough, will be my Halloween costume this year.). As some of you may know I make music myself, and a couple of weeks ago I went into my fortress of solitude and came out with this fire beat 7 hours later:

A lot of the stuff I've been trying to teach myself over the last few months came together on this one, so I'm pretty proud of it to be honest. Check it out, leave feedback, share it with your homies.

I'm back, or whatever. Let the eagles go.

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Young Thug: "Danny Glover"

About 6 months ago, Chance the Rapper sat down with Hot 97's Pete Rosenberg for a particularly illuminating interview in which he discuss amongst other things, "bruh-bruhs", his relationship with Barrack Obama, and why he's yet to sign with a label.

You should watch the entire thing, but one point that resonates the most comes around the 6:30 mark where he says, in fewer words, 'Thank god for Future and Drake, because so few rappers are making use of melody in their rhymes.'

He's absolutely right here. It's Chance's ear for melodies is what makes Acid Rap so enjoyable, and its something he has in common with Future, Kendrick Lamar, and other rappers most people would be hesitant to group him with. Melody is what makes a song catchy, its what gets it stuck in your head, and is the reason why artists like Chief Keef are making millions while your favorite lyrical rappers are out here grinding for YouTube views.

You'd be hard pressed to find a rapper who embodies this sentiment more than Young Thug, the 21 year old rapper hand picked by Gucci Mane to join his 1017 Bricksquad label. If you're not familiar, Young Thug is a Cronenbergian hybrid of Danny Brown, Future, and "The Carter"-era Lil Wayne. In other words, he's fucking dope, and 6 months from now he's the guy your coworkers are most likely to ask you about at the water cooler because you're their go to for all things hip-hop (not unlike Trinidad James this time last year).

Thugger dropped a new joint titled "Danny Glover" a few weeks ago, and its pretty excellent. Take off your hater-blockers and let this one ride, because it'll grow on you. Listen to the track below, and if you're thirsty for more be sure to check out "Picacho", "2 Cups Stuffed", and "Foreign".

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"It's probably because I talked to Bill O' Reilly and asked him if he was mad." Cam'ron sits down with Noisey

Y'all aready know how I feel about Cam'ron, so I'm not even going to summarize his most recent interview with Noisey, there are far too many quotables. Just trust your boy and read it.

Plus, it gives me the opportunity to post my two most favorit-est cam'ron related things.

This:

And This:

Stay trill.

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Dead Dilly Rebrands the NBA

Rumor has it that in the coming years, we'll start to see brands incorporated into NBA jersey design. As awful as it may sound, Dead Dilly, a designer based in Ontario, took a stab at incorporating some of the world's biggest brands on current NBA jerseys, and the results are hella dope.

Now, we might never see a Bape x Boston Celtics Larry Bird jersey, but if designers take a similar approach when designing real brand sponsored jerseys, it might not be such a bad look after all.

View the full collection here.

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