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😴

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🌞

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[Image description: screenshot of a Blaseball.com post from @facts_machine which reads: Fun Fact! Evil Conference Champions Season 2! Fun Fact! Due to INTERNAL ERROR, the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams (Awful Good) were able to claim this Season's Evil Conference Championship.]

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[Image description: the same as above except the Sunbeams (Evil Conference Champions) and the Flowers (Good Conference Champions) advance to the finals.]

[Image description: an ILB Season 2 Semifinals bracket: Good Conference: Sunbeams beat the Lovers to face the Flowers (who beat the Shoe Thieves) Evil Conference: Magic beat the Georgias to face the Fridays (who beat the Wild Wings), it was hand drawn by the Commissioner of Blaseball and Game Band Boss Parker MacMillan IIIII in his signature, unpretentious style, with lots of bright colors and artistry.]

Postseason continues tomorrow at 12 pm ET/9 am PT!

[blaseball]

hmm I'm being told that bracket is actually inaccurate and the Beams and Magic were swapped.

[Image description: an ILB Season 2 Semifinals bracket where the Sunbeams (who beat the Lovers) are actually facing the Fridays (who beat the Wild Wings) and the Magic (who beat the Georgias) are actually facing the Flowers (who beat the Shoe Thieves.) it was hand drawn by the Commissioner of Blaseball and Game Band Boss Parker MacMillan IIIII in his signature, unpretentious style, with lots of bright colors and artistry, and a big blue arrow indicating the Beams Magic swap.]

[Image description: an ILB Season 2 Semifinals bracket: Good Conference: Sunbeams beat the Lovers to face the Flowers (who beat the Shoe Thieves) Evil Conference: Magic beat the Georgias to face the Fridays (who beat the Wild Wings), it was hand drawn by the Commissioner of Blaseball and Game Band Boss Parker MacMillan IIIII in his signature, unpretentious style, with lots of bright colors and artistry.]

Postseason continues tomorrow at 12 pm ET/9 am PT!

[blaseball]

[Image description: an ILB Season 2 Semifinals bracket: Good Conference: Sunbeams beat the Lovers to face the Flowers (who beat the Shoe Thieves) Evil Conference: Magic beat the Georgias to face the Fridays (who beat the Wild Wings), it was hand drawn by the Commissioner of Blaseball and Game Band Boss Parker MacMillan IIIII in his signature, unpretentious style, with lots of bright colors and artistry.]

Postseason continues tomorrow at 12 pm ET/9 am PT!

[blaseball]

postseason :3

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The Commissioner's stats in text form as given to him by the TikTok Filter (non-scientific, just for fun :)

Batting: 3.5 Stars

Defense: 3 Stars

Pitching: 2.5 Stars

Running: 2.5 Stars

Sight: 0.99

Thwack: 0.16

Ferocity: 0.82

Reach: 0.81

Magnet: 0.02

Reflex: 0.86

Control: 0.09

Stuff: 0.83

Guile: 0.50

Hustle: 0

Stealth: 0.55

Dodge: 0.83

Thrive: 0.12

Survive: 0.33

Drama: 0.11

ok so context for this. parker was using a “blaseball player stats” filter that allows you to pick your team and then randomly generate stats for yourself. his caption was “this app is rigged”.

[blaseball]

WAKE UP HONEY IT'S TIME TO PLAY POSTSEASON BALL

wake up honey it's time to play ball

[blaseball]

THE STAGE IS SET!!! Fresh from the Desk of the Commissioner!

[IMAGE ID: A HAND DRAWN CHAMPIONSHIP BRACKET FOR THE INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL POSTSEASON 1. STARTING WITH THE HELLMOUTH SUNBEAMS VERSUS THE MIAMI DALE AND THE CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES VS THE KANSAS CITY BREATH MINTS ON THE LEFT. ON THE RIGHT IT IS THE MEXICO CITY WILD WINGS VERSUS THE SEATTLE GARAGES AND THEN THE ATLANTIS GEORGIAS VERSUS THE HAWAI'I FRIDAYS]

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soundtrack to The Monitor's TikTok can be found on the Blaseball YouTube (hour long version for extended existential dread/cosmic chilling)

[blaseball]

THE MONITOR POSTED A TIK TOK

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Behold: the Blaseball schedule.

[IMAGE ID: A Blaseball Schedule jpeg that's a starry sky background with the Black Hole in the upper right corner. It reads: Blaseball is played in alternating weeks of Seasons and Off-Seasons: Season Off-Season Season Off-Season etc.

SEASON (All Times Eastern) Mon 10 AM Wake up Play Ball! Games begin Tues-Thurs 4AM- 7AM Siesta 7AM Games Resume Fri 4AM-7AM Siesta 7AM Games Resume 4PM-5PM Siesta 5PM Quarterfinals 10PM-12PM Siesta Sat 12PM Semifinals 5PM Internet League Series 10PM Siesta begins Sun 12:50PM Voting closes 1PM Election results are announced OFF-SEASON Mon ???? do whatever you want this week Tues except watch blaseball games there are no games Weds keep checking the website though you may need to weigh in on things Thurs you can also strategize all week or just hang out Fri you could go on a picnic Sat or a nice walk Sun oh it's already sunday get ready play starts again tomorrow]

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unsurprisingly, baseball continues to blaseball, and this often means the presence of bu—i mean…..Features. yes. Features.

if you encounter one of these Features, you can now submit a handy google form so the qa team can take a look at it. they also encourage using this form for website feedback 🎤

here is the form! happy blaseballing

[blaseball]

wake up honey it's time to play ball (again)

wake up honey it's time to play ball

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wake up honey it's time to play ball

[blaseball]

With Blaseball Opening Day coming January 9, the Game Band is doing our first Reddit AMA on Monday 12/5 at 12PM PST/3PM EST on r/Games!