blazingsnark

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I tried a little animation of blooming flowers in old anime style, with blur and shitty resolution, hope it works as intended !

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I understand that museums have to be dark because light can destroy fragile artifacts. That said, I’m always afraid to walk around the blind corners because what if there is a skeleton

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Its so well made its perfect

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When I had to travel to San Francisco for training I flew down for five days. The mattress company had rented a car that I’d be driving. I stood in line and confirmed the car with a nice woman behind the counter.

She said, “Welcome to San Francisco, have you ever been here before?”

I smiled politely, shaking my head.

“It’s not safe,” she said, her customer service chirpiness dropping away like a lead balloon, leaving a grizzled veteran in its wake. “Don’t leave anything in the car. Ever. Not even the trunk.”

I thanked her and moved on to pick up the car, slightly shaken but thinking it might just be her catastrophizing.

A nice man handed me the keys down in the garage. He walked me through the vehicle and asked, “Have you ever visited us before?”

“No, first time.”

“It’s not safe.”

I stared at him.

He smiled but was dead serious, “Just stay calm. I’ve been held at gun point three times but I’m still here! Don’t leave anything in the car, and don’t honk at people.”

I nodded hesitantly.

I got in the car and drove to the hotel. This is a lie I took a pit stop to visit Richard and have dinner while keeping a watchful eye on the rental car, but narratively it’s tidier to skip that part.

The trainer in charge of my class the next day asked which of us were from out of town. Several of us raised our hands.

“Okay, for you guys just be real careful, okay? Don’t leave anything in your car, you can get your windows smashed for a phone charger. Great, let’s get started!”

It felt like being in a fairy tale, the three warnings had been issued and now I had to wait and meet my grisly fate.

Nothing bad happened.

I was just anxious anytime I was anywhere near the car.

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#Elmo's so real

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IG @amazinggardenideas

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bollock daggers — what are they?

i wanted to cover one of the commonly seen items in KCD2 because they're just as silly as you'd think—the bollocks dagger! one of the longest trending fashion statements in recent history, the bollocks daggers were in use from 12-13th century until 17-18th century. the name comes exactly from what you're thinking—the carefully carved bollocks (aka testicles) above the guard. this dagger's handle emerged likely among commoners first before entering the sphere of nobility. it was intentionally phallic, because people thought it to be funny. that's pretty much it.

kubyenka's bollock dagger—mounted unusually high up. cock shame? bollock daggers were more utilitarian rather than knightly—they weren’t really made for combat the way a rondel dagger was. warriors usually preferred their swords and rondels. this was more of a commoner’s tool, something practical, a bit of a status marker, but mostly just part of everyday wear.

godwin's well used bollock dagger.

bollock daggers were most commonly threaded through the gap in the pouch on your belt. they were also often set in front of one's own crotch for reasons you're likely once again thinking—yes, it was supposed to look like your cock.

a nobleman with a "properly" displayed bollock dagger in front of his crotch. source from Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry.

there are some unlikely theories that say that bollock daggers were shaped like that because knights used them to stab the vulnerable and unprotected areas between the armour gaps on one's groin, but this is likely sensationalist and unlikely, because like i mentioned before, these weren't really combat daggers.

adder's rondel dagger with a round pommel. round pommels on the other hand were much more specialized for stabbing, with their large and wide round pommels assisting the action.

here are some more images of characters seen brandishing a bollock dagger; one of my personal favourites being istvan toth. you have to admit the guy had a sense of humour.

istvan toth's... polished and elegant bollock dagger.

honourable mention goes to hanush of leipa.

hanush's bollock dagger. what a fashion statement piece.

all KCD screenshots provided by @telafel refs.

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$30 is the new $20 which we all know is an adult $1

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spoke deeply to me.

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i really do think that "let me in" is the most potently horrifying phrase ever conceived of. just let me in. that's all you have to do. just invite me inside. show me kindness. trust me. all you have to do is say yes. all you have to do is open the door. the rest is up to me. but you can trust me. have faith. you wouldn't leave me out here. you wouldn't turn away. not you. you aren't cruel. you're a good person. i can see that. i need your help. that's why i'm asking this of you. just let me in. let me in. let me in let me in letmeinletmeinletmein LET ME IN

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Cheetah cubs feasting on an impala Taken in Maasai Mara, Kenya Photographed by Madhur Nangia

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glimpse into my beautiful imaginary world where arthropods are really big and we domesticated them

edit: people are starting to say some "my worst nightmare" or "eeeww no that one is yucky and scary" comments on this like they do on any bug post and id like to say. it's fine if you don't like bugs it's fine if you're scared of bugs but don't put that on MY post clearly talking about how much i like them and how cute i think they are. you can make your own damn post about how much you hate wasps or spiders or whatever. i'm blocking people who make these kinds of comments.

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live laugh love Herbert Ponting's descriptions

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I’ll just be thinking about this forever