bleeksharton - Tumblr blog

[bleeksharton]

back in my day we didn’t call it “shitposting”, we called it “nightblogging” and blamed the australians

[bleeksharton]

[bleeksharton]

You forgot the IT WORKS fat wraps

[bleeksharton]

[bleeksharton]

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

[bleeksharton]

ny’all mind if i

[bleeksharton]

you: astrology isn’t real

me, pointing to every scorpio simultaneously: then explain THIS

[bleeksharton]

me to a water sign: hey maybe….some of this….is your fault too?

water sign:

[bleeksharton]

who speaks out loud anymore? it’s 2017. stop talking.

[bleeksharton]

I hate how on Tumblr, a username like lisa486 is almost certainly a pornblot, while someone named solidsnakesasscheeks is almost certainly a real person

[bleeksharton]

[bleeksharton]

in 20 years: exact same headline, minus the quotation marks

[bleeksharton]

[bleeksharton]

the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five

[bleeksharton]

[bleeksharton]