blessedandthemanchild-blog

[blessedandthemanchild-blog]

Today #Blessed has to work so Manchild is Man Of The House. He invites a friend over to use the pool. #Blessed does not require Sunshine and Moonbeam to wear any sun protection of any kind in the middle of the day in the Australian summer. So neither does Manchild. But he does wear a cap backwards so that everyone knows he is Super Cool and Down With the Youngens.

Manchild’s friend gets out of the car looks around shiftily. Shifty is immediately offered a beverage. That’s like the secret handshake to enter His Pool.

Most importantly, though, Manchild is given a skateboard by his new friend. He swears a lot in front of Sunshine, Moonbeam and another child that appeared out of nowhere but might be Shifty’s son because he has come equipped with a contraband boogie board for use in Manchild’s Pool. After he stops swearing and steadies his drink, Manchild squeals at almost Minnie Ripperton levels for a while. There are no dogs nearby so they can’t comment, but it seems like Manchild ignores the fact that he is twice the acceptable age for a skateboard and is DELIGHTED that he has a new one to add to his collection. His other skateboards, scooters, electric skateboard and motorbike were getting a little lonely. It’s hard when you’re Man of the House.

[blessedandthemanchild-blog]

It’s morning and it’s summer. It’s time for Sunshine and Moonbeam to head out of the house. Today, both are miserable and crying softly, but that is not Lovely so #Blessed ignores them.

Once the other children are out of the house, this means that Manchild can head out to His Pool and play techno music. Manchild believes that everyone needs to hear techno music. He also believes that everything is better loud and that’s why you can hear his TV two houses away.

Manchild swims some laps before realising that he needs to regularly blow his nose into the pool. He marks his territory as he will need revisit the pool with #Blessed, Moonbeam and Sunshine for their regular afternoon at Their Pool. This will give him an opportunity to play more techno and give #Blessed a chance to catch up on some phone time while Sunshine and Moonbeam do all they can to get her attention.

[blessedandthemanchild-blog]

It’s New Years Eve, so it’s important that Sunshine and Moonbeam return home.  They must be #presented. Soon after Sunshine and Moonbeam arrived home, the whole gang arrived. There was #BlessedSister and her family, Beard and Beard’s Wife, and #Blessed’s parents ManBag and BowlCut. 

DrunkFriend who had arrived with someone else a few days ago and left his RealMan 4WD parked out the front returned this morning and, by observation, may have have returned from a session of Very Intense Drinking. He arrived on a RealMan motorbike and took his RealMan 4WD and now we are stuck with a RealMan motorbike that everyone seems to have forgotten about. Important to add that DrunkFriend was not invited to stay with the #Blessed family for what looked excitingly like a day at the pool.

Each of #Blessed’s friends made at least three trips to the car because it is important to bring Drinks if you are invited to a #Blessed pool party (especially if it is the third day in a row that they will be using Their Pool).

Rules don’t apply to #Blessed and Manchild so, even though they had been asked to keep quiet on several occasions, it was important to make sure that Moonbeam and #BlessedSister’s kids could still loudly pretend they were dolphins. It was also important that Beard was allowed to express his creative spirit by loudly destroying waterbombs with a pool noodle. Screw you, waterbombs, you belong in the pool filter. While #Blessed and Bowlcut were frantically filling the waterbombs for Beard, Manchild was nowhere to be seen.

Beard appeared to feel that the pool noodle made him look a little silly and was Not Manly, so it was lucky that they had also brought a cricket bat. That was more fun because it not only made more noise, but was More Manly.

Someone else recklessly walked across to Their Pool before realising that it was not a complex pool but Their Pool and there were eight hundred members of #Blessed’s family in the water, two hundred flotation devices and the remnants of Beard’s Manly Rampage, so it’s important that the reckless person realises that it is Their Pool. 

Bowlcut instigated an emu parade for parts of the six million waterbombs that were scattered like confetti. Everyone tried to collect the confetti except #Blessed because she was Being a Good Hostess by giggling. This is better than when she got drunk last Australia Day and sung loudly while Manchild took the role of the responsible adult and kept her afloat as she drank herself into utter embarrassment.

It started to rain and #BlessedSister wanted to go home. It is important to note that #Blessed did her first public parenting for the year after Sunshine and Moonbeam did not listen to her like #BlessedSister’s children had done. Normally, #Blessed prefers to use her phone by the pool while Sunshine and Moonbeam cry out for attention, but the whole gang was there so there was no phone needed.

[blessedandthemanchild-blog]

On Boxing Day, #Blessed and Manchild had friends over. Sunshine and Moonbeam were not home to participate in the frivolities. Beard and Beard’s Wife had come over with three bags of what can only be assumed to be various alcoholic beverages intended for consumption in the beverage-free pool area.

Late on Boxing Day night, the following conversation of considerable urgency audibly took place within the residence:

Manchild: Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella? Bella? Bella? Bella?

#Blessed (Bella) is meanwhile entertaining the guests and is somehow not hearing Manchild’s increasingly urgent calls. Manchild continues.

Manchild: Bella?! Bella?! Bella?! #Blessed: What? Manchild: Do you want a coffee?

It does not appear that coffee was offered to Beard and Beard’s Wife.