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And ueah. I have friends that will tell me that they DO care for me nbut i cant trust it i just cant. I worry my brain will self sabotage the remaining relationships i do have. Its already done it to my intermediate family so hey why not

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Also…trying to strengthen my existing relationships but getting absolutely no where makes me want to tear my hair out man. Doubly worse when you see everyone around you able to deeply confide in one another or hang out every day Or know everything about each other Or they just have soooo much in common but its never fucking meee!!! I dont know whats so unappealing about fucking MEE!!!!!!

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Like… the worst thing I can experience and i experience this a LOT is people ignoring me. And its always so obvious to me when it happens. I dont knkw if my brain just tells me that ppeople are ignoring me because they dont like me but it genuinely does feel that way. And people only eeally interact with me out of pity and because im in proximity at that one moment in time. I dont know man.

I dont know itd probably be better if you called me a whiny baby and told me to fuck off

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how it feels to post a message in the server and for the conversation to immediately go quiet

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Can we start killing everyone involved with these fucking data centers

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horses pt 2

in other news, i am trying to get on VGen! My username is peepy :)

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I genuinely think all of my friends secretly hate me snd i have to fight that feeling every single day….

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I want a screen tablet soooo fucking bad but firs i have to make sure im 100% /srs about drawing again. Ill give it til christmas and if i have extra money saved up ill get one

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i think of this image at least once a month its so funny how this is just what its actually like

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I do have to play south of midnight tho

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Oh and if they are apart of the diaspora its genuinely never a black american. Like. Black. From america. Not carribean or nigerian or anything which i LOVE MY COUSINS THEY DESERVE THE REP!! But theres genuinely close to no representation