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11/29 Pleasure Principles: Exploring The Medicine of Pleasure for Black Women Convo Resources

In this conversation, we discussed our definition of pleasure, our relationship to it, what we have been taught about pleasure by our families and social institutions, how to create a pleasure practice in real time and how Black Women in pleasure act as a healing and revolutionary force for ourselves, our friends, our lovers and our communities. During the chat I (as well as a few attendees) shared a few medicines to work with in order to facilitate pleasure in our lives. Here’s a recap of what was shared:

Herbal Therapy for Pleasure 

Mother Earth provides for her children because she wants us well and she also wants us to experience pleasure, happiness and joy. The following herbs have resonance with pleasure. Not only do many of these herbs strengthen the nervous system to facilitate ease, relaxation and receptivity in the body, they serve several emotional and spiritual functions as well.

Lavender: Gives a sense of peace and stillness in the mind and body, relieves tension, aids in getting unstuck from old mental habits, eases shyness, self consciousness and embarrassment by engendering relaxation, calms frustration and irritability, an aphrodisiac that attracts male lovers, resonates with throat and third eye chakra

Rose: Known as the Queen of the Flowers, promotes an appreciation for beauty and pleasure of all kinds, balances yin energy in order to give an overall sense of well being, promotes self love and compassion, supports the ability to heal from rejection and deep loss that inhibits openness to pleasure, joy and happiness, aphrodisiac that helps to embrace sensuality and sexuality, inspires creativity and fertility, promotes heart chakra healing

Damiana: Aphrodisiac in nature, promotes a sense of groundedness for full embodiment and presence, provides energy and vitality in the face of exhaustion and fatigue, arouses feelings of lust and desire and awakens sexual appetite, facilitates the healing of sexual hang ups, inhibitions and trauma, promotes creativity through activating vision and inspiration, resonates with sacral and third eye chakra

Lemonbalm: Promotes joy, happiness in the heart and good cheer, chases away melancholy, grief and sadness, promotes creativity and self expression, works to address the inner child and mother/feminine wounds to cultivate goddess energy, works in strengthening/healing the heart chakra

Chamomile: Calms the mind and body, relieves feelings of anger, irritation and overheating, soothes inner child wounds, assists in releasing frustration around not having wants and needs met, gives a nurturing mothering energy, assists with tendencies to over-control and promote letting go in a healthy way, promotes comfort with receiving what others have to give, supports a sunny disposition, resonates with solar plexus and throat chakra

Jasmine: Aphrodisiac in nature and reawakens the sensual/sexual nature, especially when it has been repressed by fear, frigidity and anxiety, reawakens feelings of desirability, beauty and attractiveness, helps address feelings of inadequacy, promotes creativity and feelings of being divinely inspired, supports intuition, promotes rest and high quality sleep, resonates with heart chakra and third eye chakra 

Ylang Ylang: Helps address and eradicate fear surrounding pleasure, sensuality and sexuality, promotes reconnection to the body and to the senses, uplifts and relaxes the body and mind, quells inhibitions, assists in relieving depression and anxiety, resonates with the heart and sacral chakra 

Explore the herbs in whatever way you see fit. Not only can these be enjoyed via formal medicines like teas, tinctures, flower essences, yoni steams etc, they can also be incorporated in magickal/spiritual workings, baths, aromatherapy, smoke blends, in self/body care products etc. Something as simple as burning a candle or incense with the fragrance of the herb can be healing. Simply be sure to research your herbs first and consult with a medical professional before ingesting. 

Breathwork 

The element of air is crucial! The body has to breathe. Many of us are not breathing deeply enough and therefore our bodies are not fully alive, fully engaged or fully primed for pleasure. Make a practice of breathing deeply, all the way down through the stomach and the genitals. Tonglen Meditation is an example of breathwork that not only helps us circulate air throughout our bodies, but also assists in transmuting undesirable energy and teaches us the art of giving and receiving. 

Inner Child Work

Many Black Women were robbed of the opportunity to just be girls. Therefore many of us are disconnected from the part of us that is carefree, imaginative and light hearted. Inner child work can help to reclaim this aspect and reacquaint us with what delights and satisfies us. Taking time to consider what you used to enjoy as a child/what you always wanted to do/be/have as a child is a simple yet powerful piece of shadow work that teaches to play and imagine our way back to pleasure, aliveness and pure joy. 

Chakra Engagement 

The health and functioning of our feminine chakras (energy centers) play a large role in our ability to perceive, receive and experience pleasure. 

Sacral Chakra: The seat of creative power, stores our emotional experiences and those of our ancestors, deals with relationships, the ability to connect, the ability to feel and experience pleasure. When balanced we are juicy, comfortable with our sensuality/sexuality, able to experience healthy relationships of all kinds, have good emotion regulation and good taste and are able to give and receive pleasure with ease. We are able to play the role of the Empress. When out of balance, there can be shame, guilt, fear, codependency, martyrdom, self denial, issues with addiction, frigidity and disengagement from the senses that inhibits the ability to experience satisfaction and pleasure. This chakra is supported by staying hydrated, spending time by water, movement of the body, making time for creative self expression and leisure, yoni steaming, herbs such as ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, orange, ylang ylang, jasmine and crystals such as carnelian, citrine, orange calcite, tiger’s eye and moonstone.

Heart Chakra: The connector chakra, speaks to our ability to give and receive, holds genetic, ancestral and past life memories, deals with issues of self worth, deservedness and self esteem, helps us perceives beauty in ourselves, in others and in the world and speaks to upholding boundaries. When balanced we are able to receive just as much as we give and experience reciprocity, feel worthy and hold ourselves in high regard. We can show up healthily as the lover, of people and of live. When out of balance we may have poor boundaries, an inability or refusal to receive, experience relationships with unsatisfying power dynamics, a poor self image, be plagued by the issues of our ancestors/our past life selves and a lack of appreciation for the beauty of life. This chakra is supported by loving affirmations, exposure to beauty and culture, honest communication and connecting authentically with others, herbs such as rose, lemonbalm, sandalwood, bergamot and mint and crystals such as rose quartz, rhodonite, rhodochrosite, chrysocolla, malachite and pink opal.

Third Eye Chakra: The place of vision, speaks to our ability to perceive beyond our 5 primary senses, deals with our ability to dream and allows us to correctly discern. When in balance, we are able to receive intuitive messages from our bodies about what is pleasurable and good for us, imagine new possibilities for lives and instinctively know the truth. We are able to rest in the energy of the High Priestess. When out of balance, we lack vision, are prone to deception by self and others and disconnected from divine intelligence. This chakra is supported by meditation, dreamwork, healthy sleep and rest routines, prayer, visualization, herbs such as mugwort, lavender, frankincense, passionflower and holy basil and crystals such as herkimer diamond, amethyst, lapis lazuli, lepidolite and clear quartz. 

Ancestral Practice

Living in pleasure is an intergenerational affair. We inherit many of our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and patterns around pleasure from our ancestral lineage. It can be extremely impactful to bring up the issues of pleasure, happiness, joy and satisfaction at our altars for healing, insight and wisdom. Consulting with the ancestral mothers (and the daddies, too) can help us heal and untangle intergenerational traumas for ourselves and for our dead. Many of our ancestors did not have opportunities to experience the pleasure we now have access to now and they want us to get our inheritance. If you are interested in learning how to begin/nurture an ancestral practice, we recommend checking out the following reputable practitioners and priestesses:

A Little Juju Podcast  @Jujubae

Satarra @iamsatarra

Iyalosa Osunyemi Akalatunde @got2boshun

Negarra A Kudumu @negarraakudumu

Astrological Moon and Venus

Planets in astrology represent psychological impulses and can shed light on how we receive pleasure, what we deem pleasurable and how we can get our needs met. The planet Venus is the planet associated with affinity, our tastes, preferences and likes, style of connecting, how we give and receive affection (love language), receptivity, femininity, aesthetics and sensuality. The moon is associated with the body and its cycles, physical and emotional needs, our natural instincts and what is inherited through the bloodline, particularly through our foremothers. Taking time to explore the chart can assist in getting us acquainted with what we want and what we need to maximize the pleasure we experience in our day to day lives. I recommend checking out the following astrologers for more information:

The People’s Oracle (Sidereal Astrology)

Samuel F. Reynolds (Tropical Astrology)

Sagittarian Mind (Tropical Astrology)

Books

We stan a book over here. These are suggested reads from me and a couple of the beautiful ladies who contributed to the conversation.

“Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good” x adrienne maree brown 

“Please: Radical Self-Care for Wild Women of Color” and “Pussy Prayers” x Black Girl Bliss 

Chakras and Their Archetypes: Uniting Energy Awareness and Spiritual Growth x Ambika Wauters 

“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century” x Barbara Carrellas 

Fascinating Womanhood  x Helen Andelin

The Herbal Alchemist’s Handbook: A Complete Guide to Magickal Herbs and How to Use Them x Karen Harrison