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Hey Jen, I need some help! I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 and a half years, and, without going into all the boring details, did long distance for a while and then moved in together prior to lockdown and have been together ever since. Long distance was really hard for me (not her) and I felt like she wasn’t really committed to me at that time, but once we were living together, everything was wonderful for a while. It’s been the best part of two years now and things are… less wonderful. Not bad, but I just don’t feel like I am in love anymore. She really loves me and I think wants a future with me, but I just don’t think I want one with her, and I don’t really have a good reason. I feel awful blowing our lives apart just because “I don’t feel it anymore,” but I can’t help but feel like we aren’t people who will be together forever. She loves travelling and skiing and seeing the world, and I like being at home with my horses and competing. I hate leaving them and have so many goals for my young horse who is a lot of hard work and doesn’t do well with time off, she needs a lot of consistency. I also just miss them too much when I am away from them - and enjoy being at the yard more than anything else! She wants to do lots of things with me I’m just not that interested in doing and I feel like we would both be happier with someone who either wants to do the same things or is happy doing some of our things on our own. I know that she says she’s happy travelling alone but I don’t really want to be with someone who just wants to go away all the time. However on the other hand I feel bad I’m stopping her from doing the things she loves to do and even though she says it’s fine I’m not okay with it. This has been a ramble… sorry about that! Basically, what do you think I should do? I think I know what I need to do, I just feel terrible doing it. She’s been my first long term relationship and was so closeted and repressed before her. I feel like we have given each other a lot over our time together, I just feel a bit paralysed when I think about what to do next, and I feel terrible hurting her.

There is a reason why the saying "Love is not always enough" exists. Just because two people connect on many levels from emotional to intimacy does not mean their lives will mesh.

I said this in an early ask The length of a relationship is not a judgement on it's value. Not everyone who is in deep and honest love will stay together forever. Humans and life are far too complex for that.

If you can’t love her the way she deserves to be loved, care about her enough to break up and let her be free to find someone who can. 

We fall out of love, Our priorities shift, Lives don’t always mesh the way we thought they would. It can happen right away or after years. We can even still be in love and still not stay together. 

Advice from this older lesbian: I was where you are, but I stayed and it cost us both a lot of life that we could have been living instead of just surviving. . Don’t stay in a relationship you are not passionate about being in. You can fake it for a while. You can try to make it fit, work and try to convince yourself you are just being fussy or picky or expecting too much of love. But the fact is, eventually you will become unhappy, and possibly even resentful. She will feel this every step of the way and know something is not right. 

The hurt that happens now is temporary and will heal in time. If you stay together and it descends into mistrust, resentment and perhaps even hate will waste the  time and energy fr both of you and still hurt.  It takes a lot more effort and time to forgive all the negativity that will form rather than deal the the original issue head on, you should not stay with someone you are not passionate about staying with. 

A break up does not destroy all the good times or memories. It does not make the love you once shared disappear nor does it make the love you had less valuable or not real. Breaking up because you can’t be happy together preserves all of that instead of hiding it behind a fog of anger and regret. 

I know she helped you to be less closeted, more sure of yourself, but I say this often. you don’t owe anyone your happiness. You can be grateful and thankful and appreciate the lessons and memories she gave you but you don’t have to give up a chance at finding passionate love and happiness for her, or anyone. 

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idk who needs to hear this today, but don't go lurking on ex friends and partners. nothing you see or read will make you feel better there. all you're doing is hurting your own feelings. leave them in the past and do your best to move on with your own life, to make what you have now happier rather than dwelling on things that used to be (:

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My weakest moments are my strongest moments

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Why wake up stressing? When waking up is a blessing.

Anonymous (via wordsnquotes)

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Having dreams about people from your past whether it ex friends dead family or old lovers can be a lot on the consciousness makes me think something may be wrong with them and i want to check in but i shouldnt and at the same time i desperately want to stopping thinking or dreaming about them period

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I'm more than blessed on where I am right now.

I'm more happy to where she's at right now.

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Or maybe it's just a choice..

" The one who stays single were the one who's affected the most. "

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I'm the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

I'm just wiser and cautious.

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I'm more observant than before.

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Follow The Daily Positive on Instagram »

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A Friend of mine once told me, "Sometime we meet a few wrong people along the road before meeting the right one, so that when you Finally Meet that special one, We will already know how to be more grateful to that person."

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Invest on your ideas and dreams ( it won't fail you). Don't invest too much on people ( they will fail you )

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Let's be honest, I'm just not ready for any relationship yet

Why? I don't want to hurt another person.

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Investing on something that future me will thank past me for.

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Got to remind myself that I'm still the Best.