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Axel Vervoordt

Source: https://www.axel-vervoordt.com/vision#chapter-castle-ofs-gravenwezel

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artist: Sadaharu Horio

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Nancy Crow

At the library yesterday I picked up Nancy Crow’s book on her quilting through the years. Normally with these art books I just mine for images, but her tone and honesty about her artistic process hooked me in and I ended up reading most of the text too. I’m not drawn to most of her quilts, but she has a few that I really like. I have a lot to learn from her as an artist, though!

“When I work on a quilt, I put away all thoughts that are not helpful and channel my energies towards relaxing and becoming one with my fabrics. Since I work intuitively, this is absolutely important. I begin to see shapes in my head and think about how to cut them out of my huge palette of solid colors that I have hand-dyed in my basement dye studio. Never, ever do I think about what others expect or want or what will sell, but rather I look at my time in my studio as a PROCESS OF DISCOVERY. I love being inside my brain and pushing myself to think in ever more complex ways, because I know the ideas are there for the taking. It’s all about being focused and disciplined, and making use of one’s abilities.” (pg. 1)

Interviewer: So you set a really high bar for yourself. Nancy: Yes. That’s the way I am. And I’m, frankly, pretty disappointed that almost nobody in quiltmaking is willing to do that. I’m going to just say it for the record. I feel very strongly about it. One of the disappointing things for me is that most people sell out their talent. I don’t know why. I think it takes enormous courage and enormous character to keep on with your work knowing full well that at any point in time, the work may not be acceptable to anybody but yourself. (pg. 284)

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Ruth Adler Schnee, American textile designer

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Egyptian Revival design (popular through the 1800s and early-mid 1900s)

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Reproduction of the original Frankfurt kitchen. (via Matthew Bird Industrial Design lecture #5)

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Domestic efficiency. (via Matthew Bird Industrial Design lecture #5)

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Developments in kitchen efficiency. Love the flour that goes right into the sifter! (via Matthew Bird Industrial Design lecture #5)

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Gilbreth light images (checking for efficiency).  (via Matthew Bird Industrial Design lecture #5)

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Gas stations early on. (via Matthew Bird Industrial Design lecture #5)

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Silvia Heyden, weaver

Watched the documentary “A Weaverly Path” tonight and have a new appreciation for tapestry as an art form. Notes from the doc:

- the triangle is the oldest weaving form/shape - “Color doesn’t live on its own - it’s always interrelated, communicating with the others.” - tapestry allows the colors to truly stay separate, rather than blending together like in painting

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Silvia Heyden, “Rhythmic Tapestry” (2011) 48″ x 36″

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The Four Questions

Example: Paul lied to me. Repeat your statement and ask: 

1. Is it true? (Yes or no? If no, move to 3.) 

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.) 

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 

4. Who or what would you be without the thought? 

Turn the thought around. I lied to me. I lied to Paul. Paul didn’t lie to me. Paul told me the truth. As you visualize the situation, contemplate how each turnaround is as true or truer

- Byron Katie

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222

One of my favorite herbalists, Organic Olivia, sees the number 429 everywhere. For her it is a sign of encouragement that she is on the right path. I heard about this secret number-sighting almost a year ago and was intrigued. I tried (very minimally) to start paying attention to numbers around me, but nothing jumped out. This past week, though, I noticed that nearly every day I would randomly look at my phone and it would be 2:22. For fun, I looked up a website on angel numbers and read about 222. The big ideas were that 222 (important numbers being 2 and 6) is a sign of encouragement and a reminder to stay positive rather than getting caught in negativity about the future or how things are looking. It is also a sign of two sides/opposites being brought into wholeness - the same thing Evan and I have been talking about all week (specifically relating to how to maintain close friendships when you have very different ideas about the world/health/etc). 

Evan and I were out for a walk yesterday evening and I was telling him about this angel numbers idea and my spotting of 222. Right as I finished telling him, “I keep seeing 2:22 on the clock, but I haven’t seen it out in the real world,” he grabbed me and pointed. The car we were just passing had the license plate number “222.” I felt my stomach drop immediately and we both couldn’t believe it. We talked about important numbers for the rest of the walk and it is an idea I need to think about more. 

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Well my essay a week didn’t pan out. Once again I’ll switch things up and attempt to use this blog as a space to more freely jot down ideas I want to contemplate more.

First up: full moon inquiry. In Women Who Run With the Wolves, Estes writes, “Seven is oft considered a woman’s number, a mystical number synonymous with the division of the moon cycle into four parts and equal to menses: waxing, half full, and waning. It has been usual in the old ethnic women’s traditions that at the full moon cycle an inquiry should be made into the state of one’s being; the state of one’s friendships, one’s home life, one’s mate, one’s children,” (294).

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What Do the Animals Do?

On our way back from Tacoma last weekend, Evan and I stopped by Half Price Books. Evan had never been to that part of Tacoma, and he commented that it looked just like the South. As soon as he made that comment, I noticed all the huge trucks, chain restaurants, and bland architecture. 

Evan gave me permission to buy whatever I wanted at the bookstore, but I limited myself to Folk Medicine, Birthing From Within, Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and a book about a Native American medicine woman. I’m about halfway through Folk Medicine right now and am very intrigued by the author’s lifestyle and recommendations. He bases his research on Vermont folk practices and particularly the use of apple cider vinegar (apparently the source of important minerals) and honey (better for your blood sugar, promotes healthy sleep, etc.). What I love most about the book besides its earthy simplicity is that everything comes back to the question, what do the animals do? This is the same question that was shared in a Mythic Medicine Stories podcast I listened to over the summer that revolutionized my understanding of birth. Mammals retreat to dark and secluded spaces where they can feel safe and unobserved. Contrast that to the idea that it is “safest” to give birth in a hospital room (already a scary place for many) where you are hooked up to machines, laying on your back under fluorescent lights, with doctors/nurses you may have never seen before putting their hands into your body to assess you. I’m more amazed now that women are even able to give birth in hospitals. 

When I was at my Ayurveda class a few months ago, the teacher shared an anecdote about how before the tsunami hit Sri Lanka, people noticed that the animals were running up into the mountains. Of course, when the tsunami threat was realized, the wisdom of the animals came to light. How did the animals know? They followed their instincts that they needed to be higher up. Those instincts come from somewhere, though! There must be some innate intuition given to creatures to help them survive; after all, animals seem to possess it. Was that intuition not given to humans? That can’t be right. The more I learn about cultures where people were especially connected with nature, the more I see those same instincts in humans. 

My word for this year is intuition. My tarot cart for the year is the Moon. I want to begin the journey of hearing and responding to my intuition. At this point I don’t even know what that looks like - all I know is that my intuition is buried somewhere down inside me and I am going to let it see the light.

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On the Other Side of Fear

I write from the couch, feet soaking in a large plastic bucket I bought from Fred Meyer’s today on a whim. Organic Olivia told me a foot soak was better than exercise in the lymphatic drainage department and I took her word for it. The water is cold and I have a slight headache from the fragrance (why, Dr. Teal?), but somehow the self-care attempt is bringing me some comfort. 

Today our landlord came over to block off the fly portal Evan discovered inside our heater. Evan had been catching upwards of ten flies a day, so we covered up our heater, bundled up, and waited for a second pair of eyes. After dinner, as we ate platefuls of lasagna and relaxed in our fly-free home, we heard an odd squeaking sound (just once!). We froze and then spent the next 20 minutes or so trepidly investigating the laundry room. Nothing was discovered except for a new fear in rodents. 

Although we do not desire a house full of critters, Evan and I have both been struck by a newfound compassion for the little guys. This past year Evan dramatically overcame his arachnophobia to the point where he now gets excited to spot a spider in our house as it provides him with an opportunity to identify its type, catch it in a jar, give it a benediction, and lovingly send it on its way in the great outdoors. While my fear was never as intense as Evan’s, I have also found a new sensitivity for spiders. It is fascinating to stand on the other side of fear - still close enough to remember the visceral experience of aversion - now having a completely different experience of the same stimulus. 

I have experienced that most potently with my recent obsession with childbirth, specifically undisturbed home births. Ten years ago (gosh, that sounds longer than it feels) I vividly remember telling my best friend that I was planning on adopting because I didn’t want to go through childbirth. Despite the “you’ll forget the pain as soon as you see the baby” mantras I heard from mothers around me, childbirth seemed a cruel and unfair punishment. I would (and actually still do) have to close my eyes and plug my ears in cinematic birth scenes that always involved a woman screaming bloody murder and writhing in unparalleled pain. Recently, though, I’ve experienced a complete shift in my understanding of childbirth. Through the Freebirth Society (among others), I’ve seen a glimpse of childbirth as an empowering, spiritual, normal experience that has the power to heal trauma and connect one to the divine feminine. I’ve learned that, rather than a curse, childbirth can be salvific. 

While I’m sure I still have my fair share of work to do in unraveling the fear of childbirth, the process of going to the gates of Life and bringing a new soul into the world now sounds exciting and awe-inspiring. While fear can play an important role in keeping us safe, most of the fears in my life are actually more of a threat to my wellbeing than a help.