blogmy41

[blogmy41]

Blocks, Blocks Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink...

It's a wonder I can even write about this or use my phone in anyway because once again, I have no power cord! My phone was on 20% this morning and I needed to leave the house. One might say that I should be more prepared, but that is a story for another time.

I looked down at the outlet I use in my room and plugged in was a lonely charging block but of course, no cord. Sadly, I was not shocked. 4 more rooms revealed the same problem. There are charging blocks everywhere in my house, but no freaking USB cords! There are bigger problems, I know, but it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. I know a ton of us have this same problem, what do you do??

I purchased my own bright red cord that no one would dare steal because who wants to be the obvious thief, right? Wrong. That cord has gone missing as well. And no one is the wiser. These child criminals are brazen and not scared.  Do they sneak in in the middle of the night? What's even more unbelievable is the stolen cords seem to disappear too. So that eventually NO ONE has a cord.

What I have learned from this:

1. Having children = no power cords, no headphones and no matching socks. They vanish into some alternate universe never to be seen again where no one has taken anything and no one is guilty. I am constantly baffled. 2. Walgreens gets richer by $10 every week from my purchasing of USB cords. 3. Someone needs to invent a GPS traceable awesomeness for all of the items listed in number 1. 4. The dark side of me kind of wants someone to invent a type of smallish shock therapy: Kid tries to steal said cord/headphone and kid gets a little jolt... The light side of me thinks I'm just kidding.

[blogmy41]

The Friday Five

family

Oh there was a lot of this in the last week. My parents were in town and supposed to fly back to California but because of snowmaggedon their flights were cancelled - twice. Me, my parents and my boyfriend snowed in for 5 days. Throw in my kids for half of this time and I was expecting short tempers and a lot of crazy, but for the most part it was good. I thought someone (i.e. my mother) might have a small coronary when the coffee maker broke (I don’t drink coffee so I don’t understand these things) but all was okay because my dad MacGyvered that shit, boiled the coffee, strained it and I’m guessing it tasted okay because suddenly everyone was happy. We played games, did puzzles, made snowsticks, ate too much good food and of course drank many of my Dad’s Bloody Mary’s. Alcohol (and apparently coffee) are the key to everything people. They ended up flying out late Tuesday and I was sad to see them go. 

fashion

 This is what I lived in for the past week during our lovely 38 inch snowstorm. I would occasionally take it off to work out in the basement or run, but I wore it pretty much nonstop around the house, to bed, to the store, changed it up with various Ugg boots. My daughter was like, “Nice groutfit. Is that ever coming off?” I was like, “Huh? What’s a groutfit?” I looked it up and started laughing. So true, but oh so comfortable. I love me some groutfits.

Thanks to Urban Dictionary for the clarification: groutfit (noun) : an outfit made completely of gray; a gray top and gray bottoms.   Sally: Ohmygod did you see that girl's groutfit? Penny: Yes! I can't believe she wore that in public!!

fitness

This was tough in the snowstorm, but if I didn’t find something to do someone may have died violently. I need exercise to remain sane. I searched the App store for “custom workouts” and found a few. After reading reviews, I chose Sworkit. I downloaded it and it didn’t matter what this thing told me to do, I was going to do it. I took over the basement and got my sweat on. The app guides you through customized workouts based on time and what you want to do. For example, I chose 45 minutes and full intensity cardio. You then get a bunch of heart pumping exercises in sequence.  Sometimes they are awkward things like squat jumping jacks (made me pee a little not gonna lie), but hey I burned calories and everyone lived. I also risked my life and ran outside. This was non-negotiable. 

food

Well there was a shit ton of food this week so first, thank God for Sworkit and second, thank God for snowstorms and #Tasty (best Facebook link ever) that gave us time to get all cozy and make fantastic things. Luca even got taught how to make an omelet by his Grandpop. We had homemade pizza, slow cooker chicken potpie, homemade veal meatballs, homemade wild boar burgers, peppermint hot chocolate, amazing steaks, my incredible chocolate chip, raisin oatmeal cookies and then my not so incredible try at healthy raspberry oat cookies (Devon thought they tasted like dog food but the dogs didn’t even like them).

fuck-ups

I am not implying that my friends are fuck-ups by placing a picture of some of them here. What I am saying is how great it is to go out with real people and talk about how fucked up we all are. There is beauty in our imperfections and even more beauty in the soul who can be self-deprecating and laugh at themselves and share stories about their crazy life. We celebrated my friend Pilar’s birthday over funny conversation, great food, and of course, drinks- duh.

[blogmy41]

Easy Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

We've had some oh so fun sickness in the house of late, so yesterday I made my homemade chicken noodle soup. This soup is perfect on a cold day. It is always a hit with my kids and it helps boost their immune system at the same time. Freeze some (minus the noodles) for later. Enjoy!

The stuff you'll need:

3 chicken breasts 4 cups chicken broth 4 cups water 1 cup of sliced carrots 2 celery stalks diced 2 Tablespoons fresh rosemary 2 chicken bouillon cubes 2 cups dry egg noodles Salt and Pepper to taste

What To Do:

Boil chicken breasts over medium-high heat in the 4 cups of water until cooked through. Strain to remove funky bits and reserve 2 cups of this water. Slice or cube chicken breast into bite size pieces.  Add chicken, reserve water, chicken broth, carrots, celery, chicken bouillon cubes, and rosemary to a large pot. Bring to a boil and then simmer for about an hour.  Salt and pepper to taste.

In a separate pot, prepare egg noodles according to package directions. Add the noodles to the bottom of your bowl and spoon the soup over them. Always keep the noodles separate until time to serve, other wise they will get soggy.

So easy and so comforting! Freeze any remaining soup for another cold, sick day!

Serves about 5 people.

[blogmy41]

Keep Calm and French Kiss me. Actually, please don’t...

I have been known to offer and give random unsolicited advice to my children. They are kids so most of the time they don't want it – but I don't care – I'm their mom and this is my right.  “I birthed you! I will tell you what I want and you will listen!” (if they listen to 2% I will be happy).  I promise one day they will thank me for it.

On one such beautiful advice giving day I was sitting around with my boyfriend and my 12 year old and the subject of first kisses came up. Yes! I was so excited! I live for these embarrassing teachable moments! As I had with my older two before him, I had no problem telling my 12-year-old what to do when this moment happened. He was going to get fool proof kissing instructions. My boyfriend was in shock. He said, "you can't tell them how to do these things, they need to learn this stuff on their own."

Bahahahahaha. I was like, "uh-uh hell no" and this is why:

Believe it or not, my first real kiss wasn't until early eighth grade. Sexual experiences came on quickly from here but I did hold out until eighth-grade for the first kiss. Prior to this I had little pecks here and there but was scared to go all the way and stick my tongue in someone’s mouth. In fact, my seventh grade boyfriend who was so stinking cute, who I adored, sent me a note in class before the middle school dance and asked me if he could French kiss me there. Even though 2 minutes before that note was in my hand I thought I would marry him, I broke up with him so I didn't have to do it. True story.

Along came eighth grade. And by then, everyone was doing it. Tongues were flying around everywhere. But I was still scared. I started to "go with" (date) a cute classmate who because of the outcome of the story, we will call "B". For some reason my dumb parents allowed me to go to a lock-in at a local church. I think they felt secure because it was in a church and we were in Williamsburg. What the hell could happen in Williamsburg? I don't know what lock-ins are like now, but back then, a bunch of middle school students signed up, you went to the church, you prayed a little bit, played fun games, ate dinner, brought a sleeping bag, slept there and then left the next day. The boys and girls were supposed to sleep in different areas of the church – but this did not happen. I really don't remember any supervision. It was fantastic. Thank God we were all relatively innocent.

Somehow I ended up in a dark room with B and I knew that stupid kiss was going to happen. I was excited and nervous at the same time. So ready to finally get this wonderful awesome thing over with. B had kissed at least like 4 girls before so I knew this was going to be great. He was experienced. He grabbed me before we were even zipped in the sleeping bag and started kissing me. From the jump, his tongue came out and he literally licked me from my eyebrows to my chin. My whole face was wet. I still don't remember if his tongue was ever in my mouth. I didn't know any better so I participated but I was scarred for life. I was like what the hell? This was what everyone is doing all the time? Ugh.

I would say it was a cruel joke, but many girls that went to middle school and high school with me probably know who this person is because we all kissed him at one time or another and the story we shared was always the same. Wet sloppy saliva face. This kiss was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it showed me what not to do (I’ve had many great kisses since) but also a curse because, what the hell, this was my first kiss?

I’m not going to be courtside giving my kids the play by play but hell yes I will prevent them from becoming known as the worse kisser in school. That takes years to recover from. This poor guy still has no idea that there are many 40 something women who have this same memory of his tongue. I said to all of them, “You don't want to be "B". You don't want to soak someone’s face. Less is more my little babies, less is more.”

[blogmy41]

Bomb Banana Bread

I was planning on never divulging my recipe. Why? I’m not so sure but I’ve caved to the pressure. So by popular demand, here is my (not so secret anymore) banana bread recipe. Seriously like one of my only special skills. ;) Do me proud people. Enjoy!

The stuff you’ll need:

-1/2 cup (1 stick) room temperature unsalted butter -1 2/3 cups all purpose flour -4 extremely ripe bananas, peeled and sliced into 1 inch slices. DO NOT MASH! -1/4 sour cream -1/4 cup Heath toffee bits (not chocolate kind) -1 tsp vanilla extract -1 tsp baking powder -1/2 tsp baking soda -1/2 tsp kosher salt -1 cup packed dark brown sugar -2 large eggs, room temperature -9X5 loaf pan

What to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease your 9X5 loaf pan. 2. Combine banana, sour cream, vanilla and Heath bits in a bowl. In another bowl mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. 3. Use an electric mixer or beaters and beat butter and brown sugar on medium in another bowl until creamy and fluffy, at least 3 minutes. Add your eggs, one at a time and continue to beat for another minute or two. 4. Add your dry ingredients a cup at at time, beating on low until fully mixed. 5. Fold in your banana mixture. 6. Fold deliciousness into your loaf pan. 7. Bake about 60 minutes and rotate your pan halfway through.

Top should be golden and sides just pulling away when you pull it out. You do NOT want to over cook. Cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes then eat like crazy!

[blogmy41]

Gold Lame Christmas

I was in church this past weekend and the first song the band (yes, band. fancy damn church) sang was “O Holy Night”. I love this song. This is my ex’s favorite Christmas song and he, although not very religious, loves this song like no other. It always made him tear up a little and of course, right there in freaking church, I have a few tears I can’t help.  I’m crying, I think, about fond memories, worry for my kids, lots of changes, and how fast time goes. I’m crying because we loved Christmas. We did Christmas as a family so very well together.  From decorating, to baking, to gift giving, to light shows, to Christmas cards, to musicals and tree trimming, our family had it mastered.

Christmas Eve was always church, sushi, opening and wearing our new Christmas pajamas, reading Twas The Night Before Christmas, and two crazy parents making sure Santa visited the house. Christmas day was always mayhem starting at 6am in the morning, followed by the entire family at our house for great food, drinks, board games and dirty Santa antics.  In this crazy world, life happens and our paths have altered. I believe we are in better places now, but with divorce comes change. Depending on the year, my kids now do one of these things with me and I don’t know what they are doing the other day. I’m sure it is Christmasy and wonderful- it’s just without me.

Divorce is not easy people! I’m greedy and I want them in my life every day. Life now means dealing with 2 Christmases, 2 houses, 2 sets of presents, marrying old traditions with new and of course figuring out how to seamlessly fit in the new people in our lives. Navigating this is hard for many and has been difficult for me as I hurdle over that little bit of inevitable mother’s guilt. I don’t want my kids to feel any void in their lives. This new set of holiday happenings has brought some stress but remaining positive and present and surrounding myself with genuine, supportive people has helped me stay sane.

In my perfect dream world, everyone would be together (the kids, my ex, our significant others, all the family) and we would have an amazing holiday. We would all be smiling and toasting with our champagne glasses, wearing gold lame and tinsel and talking like we are James Cagney in a 1930’s fancy movie voice. Of course, this is not happening. It’s just my fantasy and we are not yet at this point. I know I’m idealistic, but my hope is that one day this dream will become reality (minus gold lame), but right now, that’s not to be and that’s okay. We are healing and moving on and building.

Holiday memories bring joy and I am hopeful and excited to create new ones. This season that fosters old traditions is also built on new beginnings. My life is full and blessed and for that I am very grateful. My amazing daughter showed me there is beauty in all those memories. There’s beauty in knowing that we have them to look back on and beauty in knowing that the future will be bright and the new things we create with one another will also last forever.

Now when I hear “O Holy Night”, I may tear up, but it will be from thinking fondly on those times shared and new seasons yet to come.  

[blogmy41]

My 42 Reasons to be...

My babies: Devon, Colton and Luca Sunsets over the gulf and the peace that they bring Lullabies that Mom-moms sing, that moms sing, that I sing A smile that shines so bright it lights up your heart and everyone else's at the same time All things Christmas Ocean air and the moment my feet touch the sand Long quiet hikes in crisp cold weather Dancing in the club, at a wedding, in the kitchen, in the bedroom Watching my kids play, excel, participate in anything that brings them joy Baking the best banana bread ever New York Mommy/daughter trips with the first one All the red wine Receiving anything in the mail that you don't expect Big bear hugs from my middle one KitchenAid mixers that make everything better Blueberry picking in New Jersey and eating more than you pick Siblings that know all your memories and ugly parts and still love you Stay at home movies in a warm snugglie bed on a cold night Good belly laughs that you only get with great girlfriends Rainy days at home that result in movies and crafts and a big mess Great tennis when it all comes together and you think damn I should have been a professional! (Not) In general- all chocolate Late night snuggles with the last one The solitude and comfort of tradition that I find in church Warm sunshine on your face and the smile it puts on your grandmother's Big spoonfuls of Pomegranate arils Calling an old friend you haven’t seen and its like no time has passed Watching your sweet baby sleep The sheer competitive joy of sporting events Harry Potter/Twilight movie marathons Wishing on 11:11 Running fast, running slow, just running The ability to travel and see the world with those you love The first lightening bug you see in June Shoes because they always fit even on your bloated days Snow days and the hot chocolate that warms The comfort of a good book and knowing another is waiting when you're done Home for the Holidays (best movie ever) which begins the best time of year Genuine love in another's eyes be it your partner, your family, your child and it warms you from the inside out Our earth, it's light, it's endless possibilities and limitless journeys it gives to us

And really, so much more.

[blogmy41]

Raisinets!!

We always start our meal time with, "What was the best and worst part of your day?" I love this simple statement because it gives me insight into what is going on in my kids’ precious lives, both good and bad. Being they are children of divorce with a very involved father, I only get them a little more than half the time, so I take full advantage! They pretend to hate me for this, but I think they secretly love it.

The things I find out are fantastic, sad, heartwarming, funny, and scary. There are things I would rather un-hear like how one kid they know is trying to see how long he can go without showering or how they egged a neighbor's house and didn't get caught (uh that's not okay buddy). But for the most part, I have learned great things, important things about their loves, anxieties, accomplishments, and general life.  

Here and there we will throw in a random question or a would you rather. The other night I asked, "If all food had the same nutritional value, and you automatically get water and you had to choose one food and one drink for the rest of your life, what would you pick?" Not so easy people! Being the food/alcohol addict that I am, it took me a little longer than my kids to answer.

Here are the responses…

Luca: Pizza. I think he already lives on this. Is that bad?  And Coke. I could have bet my house on this one.  Just what the world needs 12 year-olds running around on caffeine sugar highs and apparently egging houses…

Colton: Butterfingers. Gross. And Pina Colada. Totally understand and okay with that one.

Devon: Kiwi. Seriously? Weirdo health- nut. Of ALL the food in the world, you pick Kiwi? And black coffee. I don't drink coffee but I am thankful that it exists to make people like my daughter and sister happy in the morning.

Me: Red wine. This was a no-brainer. If you have kids, this needs no explanation. The possibilities are endless. And after careful thought - Raisinets!!  Part fruit, part dessert = total heaven. To me, there is no better food and I can have 9,000 a day and its the same as eating broccoli?? Duh. I did almost pick pizza too but then realized I am hormonal half the month and need chocolate.

The point of all this is -conversation. Just have conversation. Open, honest, conversation at dinner, in the car, anywhere they feel safe. There is no better thing. Serious or fun, it doesn't matter. They learn and I learn so much. Sometimes the worst part of their day is the food I've made and that's okay, I'll take it!  The beauty is that they get to hear my goods and bads too.

[blogmy41]

The Haunting of the Christmas Pug

First, please save your comments,  I now know this is an French Bulldog. However, because of my general dog ignorance he began a Pug and thus will always remain, in my heart, forever a Pug.

Once upon a time, at the beginning of November 2009, there were 2 ridiculously gorgeous women who decided to go to HomeGoods and "look" at all the new holiday decorations. All the usual amazing Christmasy things were there: Santas, snowmen, trees, wreaths, cards, ornaments, and fancy table nonsense. But on a top shelf, way up high, all by his ugly lonesomeness on his squatty, hind legs was one sad chunky looking Christmas Pug.

Fascinated that someone would ever make something like this, they brought him down. Gaudy, bedazzled, bejeweled in a fancy Christmas sweater just waiting to go home with some crazy person for the bargain price of $189. They laughed about how ugly he was, they took pictures because OH MY GOD WHO WOULD WANT THAT TERRIBLE THING??? They joked about how much he cost. Was he made by some renowned artist? Was he painted in gold? They put him back on the shelf, bought Christmas goose statues instead (because this is more practical) and left the store.

That was my sister-in-law and I and that damn dog has haunted me ever since. That night I couldn't stop thinking about his unique greatness. I wanted him and his chubby little self! I wanted him to be wanted and I was going to go save him! Confident that no one in their right mind would buy him, I waited and went to that same HomeGoods 3 days later. No luck. I spent the entire holiday season visiting HomeGoods in the area, looking and hoping. Nothing. I went after the holidays willing his black bug eyes to be on the clearance shelf. Not to be. I gave up but every holiday season I find myself on a constant hunt looking for him and every year I am disappointed. He haunts me and mocks me with his long bat ears.

I have seen him, he exists. He is my unicorn. The Christmas Pug has cursed me with this photo. I stare at it looking for a new detail to add to my google search. The search always turns up empty. This madness made me swear to myself that when I'm shopping, if I see something I love, no matter how ugly, even if its a little expensive, I will go with my first instinct and make the purchase. Sometimes you do need to "take a day and think about it" before buying something but sometimes you just need to buy the damn Pug! You would think after all this I would learn my lesson, tell that to the gorgeous white shearling coat I let slip through my fingers last Thanksgiving…

I'm still searching for both.

[blogmy41]

I run.

I run when I am fat. I run when I am skinny. I run when I am pregnant. I run when I am injured and sick and when my body hurts. I run as long as my legs will carry me.  I run to celebrate happiness, mend my soul when I am sad, to agonize in a defeat or delight in a victory. I run to reduce stress and to appreciate the little things.

I run to be in nature. I run to see the world. Alongside sunrises in the Caribbean, over old bridges in Florence, past the White House in D.C., through the Redwoods of California, up a mountain in Colorado, during the cold in Chicago. I run to feel healthy, to stay sane.

I run to be able to wear my skinny jeans and to eat endless Raisinets, to eat carbs and have a sharp mind. I run to hear new music and feel old music. I run to buy cute athletic clothes, and great new shoes. I run to smile and for love.

I run to meditate and clear my mind. I run to hear my thoughts. I run to feel alive and hear my heart beat. I run to live longer. I run to reduce my blood pressure and to sleep better. I run to escape my crazy life. I run to be present in that same life. 

You don’t have to run fast or far. You don’t have to be super fit. Runners are all sizes. You can do it anywhere and it cost nothing. Running feeds your heart. I promise.

[blogmy41]

Jason. Just in time for Halloween.

41. What is this age? It's fantastic and terrible at the same time. God has blessed us and cursed us with all of these wonderful things to do to ourselves that keep us looking and feeling younger. I honestly don't feel like I look 41 but damn, it is a battle! This shit just doesn't happen on its own people! It takes a village, literally. There are all kinds of crazy things I do for and to myself daily regarding fitness, mental health, skincare and nutrition.

When one of my friends found a deal on Microneedling and suggested I try it, I googled it and thought what the hell? The point of this treatment is to create microscopic punctures deep into your skin which in turn stimulates collagen production, which in turn helps us look younger longer.  How bad could it be? All kinds of celebrities have done it and look great and now we can do it too? I’m in. You would think the picture of the roller filled with needles or my hatred of pain would deter me, but no, nothing ever does deter me somehow.

Thanks to Groupon not only do I try way too many things in neighborhoods I probably shouldn't go in, I also do things to my face and body, mostly enjoyable, but that are also probably questionable too. Thankfully, my aesthetician does this procedure so I made my appointment with her. When I arrived, she lulled me into submission with a dark room and a warm cozy bed. She then washed my face and put numbing cream all over it.  If the small tiny needle weapon isn't your first indicator of how painful its going to be then maybe the topical anesthetic cream they apply all over your face as soon as you get there, should be? No matter, like a dummy, I was grateful for the numbing pain meds and my heated blanket.

The numbing cream set for 30 minutes and then we began. She used the roller all over my face. The procedure is very quick and honestly, most of it didn’t hurt. The places that were uncomfortable are the places with less or sensitive skin, like the forehead, nose and lip area. When she rolled over those areas I dug my nails into my hand and was saying fuck you under my breath. After about 10 minutes of the needle rolling, she rubbed a cream all over my face (more efforts to stimulate something) and put the cooling mask on (lovely picture above) and I relaxed for awhile.

Did it make me look younger? I think so? Why do I do this? I’m not really sure. When will I stop? I’m not sure of that either. I don’t think I will ever do a surgery like a face lift and I do know that aging will win this battle eventually, but I’ll fight for a little while because I’m kind of fascinated with all of the crazy technology and really good Groupon deals. Also, as long as someone is asking Devon (much to her annoyance) if I'm her sister then I’m down.

[blogmy41]

The Freakin Weekend

Let’s be honest, it doesn’t have to be the weekend to drink, having our beautiful children entitles us to this magnificence any time we wish. A little wine, a lot of vodka, a beer or two- it doesn’t matter- it just makes you happy and really is the best invention ever. Thank you ancient Egypt for figuring out how to ferment and thus give us alcohol. Props to you. To save face with the all the haters, let’s call it our “start the weekend drink”, even though we all know better.

Normally my first post about alcohol would be paying homage to Patron the amazing, feel good, no inhibitions superness (yes, I make up words) of a tequila that I adore. I promise there will be plenty of posts about tequila, both good and bad, but through the summer I came to love the Mojito, drank quite a few and became a big fan. I especially love a twist, like adding any kind of fruit and revamping for fall like with this cranberry recipe. I also like drinks that aren’t too sweet, so if you are a tropical fruit, grenadine, hang-over juice drink lover, this probably isn’t for you.  

I will tell you what to do but keep in mind this isn't writing class and I'm not a bartender so I may skip a step. At some point, you just have to use your imagination. It’s got alcohol in it so how bad can it be?

The ingredients for 1 perfect drink:

1 ghetto muddler (above is technically an avocado masher) Don’t judge me- I do own a real muddler. The whereabouts are unknown at the present time. I have used a wooden spindle bought from home depot as well. The point being: find and use what you can to crush/muddle these ingredients!

12 fresh mint leaves 1/2 tbsp brown sugar juice from 1 lime (I like a lot of lime) 1/3 cup cranberries

Put above ingredients in the bottom of a glass and gently muddle. You just want to mix the mint, cranberries and sugar- not make juice.

Add this to a glass filled with ice and 2 oz of Rum (whatever brand and obvs i use more than 2 oz but we have to stick to a recipe.)   Top off glass with club soda If you want to make it pretty, add lime or mint garnish as desired. Normally I would leave these off... but we have to take a pretty picture.

Cheers to the freakin weekend people. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere! I’m putting my drink in a solo cup and going to the beach.

[blogmy41]

Buh-Bye Mom Jeans -go away already

The “Mom Jean” trend might be the most terrible fashion trend in the last five jabillion years. When my daughter and her friends came in my house wearing them the first time, I was like, “What in the hell?” All these cute teenage booties and legs wearing things that were now probably in the back of the Goodwill (not even good enough to put out in the front).

Note to self: if there are a ton of websites giving you ideas on how to look great in this trend and ideas on how to make it work, it's probably not going to work. Second note to self: if Kylie Jenner looks awkward in this jean that's a good indication that we will look more than awkward.

Evolution is the reason that this fit went out of style years ago. Now, fabric is better, cuts are better and designers have figured out how to work denim on a woman's body. These designers must be bored because somehow this jean that gave me Buddha belly and long ass in high school is back. Respectfully, no thank you.

Fortunately, if you like to look attractive in your jeans, and also trendy (which I do), there are many other options. I mean, let’s be honest, anything is a better option. I actually love a skinny jean but boot cut jeans are back again and this is a good thing. They elongate your leg and they are flattering on pretty much everyone. Above is my favorite new one from Express. This one is called the Barely Boot Mid Rise. Little bit of stretch, not too low that your punanni is hanging out and not too high that you feel like you are in an 80s music video. You can see me here next to the lovely skinny model. I also love Express jeans because they are affordable ($79 for the above ) and they come in 3 lengths. Not all of us are long legged hoes. 

Let me know your favorite jeans. I love to shop. Also, I promise someone from the Kardashian family will not be in my next post...

[blogmy41]

Shit Show

Like many of us, I’ve often been told that my life would make a great reality show. I'm a 41 year old woman, mother of three crazy kids and left an 18 year marriage that was full of money and mostly happy times. Add to that my love of tennis, food, alcohol, often tumultuous friendships, crafting, interesting dating experiences, holiday psychosis, clothes (mostly shoes) and a crack ass crazy family and yes, you could fill many hours of TV. My life is a certified "shit show" (this is my favorite word so get used to it), but only in the most fantastic way. A mixture of calm and chaotic, sad and happy, serious and fun all spinning around each other in this perfect storm that is "Greta".

Calm in the moments  when my 12 year-old, Luca still reaches out to hold my hand while I'm driving him to soccer practice, or my daughter, Devon calls me from college just because or the dogs actually pee outside in the grass instead of on my beautiful gray throw rug. Chaotic in the mornings when I like to challenge myself with 30 minutes to: get 3 dogs walked and fed, make lunches, make breakfast, throw in "iron this shirt mom" and "i still have math homework mom" and "don't forget I need a check for school pictures today mom". WAIT- seriously there are freaking school pictures today and your hair is a mess and your teeth aren't brushed and you are wearing stinky athletic clothes? Awesome.  Early mornings are seriously the work of the devil, I swear. Throw them out the door for school and then get myself dressed and gone. Somehow I do it- I think I must like stress.

Sad when I realize there are 2 of everything in my children's lives now: 2 places to lay their heads, 2 Christmases, 2 sets of clothes and you just hope that you are loving them enough so that they are happy, adjusted, and productive people.  Happy when I get to listen to my 16 year-old, Colton play his latest and greatest on the piano or I somehow get all the ingredients I need for dinner and it gets on the table and we are all sitting around it with me asking (interrogating) everyone about their life and their day and their loves and I see their beautiful faces and smiles and know that life is okay.

Serious when I have to listen to my son tell me about the girl that he liked making out with another boy in front of him and seeing that he is hurt and controlling myself not to go punch this girl in the face or when I realize that I birthed Devon my senior year in college (which I would never change because she holds so much of my heart she can’t possibly imagine) but now have no real work experience but still have to figure out a way to earn a living sometime soon. Fun when I'm winning my tennis match and I get to hit the bitchy woman across from me with the ball (I'm very competitive and aggressive but only in the best, most fantastic way) or when I see a great outfit on the mannequin at one of my favorite stores and I put it on and it looks awesome and isn't a foot too long and my giant ass looks great, which let's face it, (thank you Kim Kardashian for the big ass trend) it always does.    

And really, just fun in general, because we have this calm, chaotic, sad, happy, serious life only once and it is short so why not just embrace all of that with your arms around your kids, a little botox, some laughter, a lotta shoes, tequila, the love of a great man, and if we are lucky, warm sunshine.