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Will You Ever Tell Stories About Me?

Will you ever tell stories about me?

Me - a secret you kept, be spoken of as fondly as how you've spoken to me about your former lover.

or will I be a pushed back memory, forcefully forgotten?

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On A Clear Night

It's been months since we had a clear night sky here at our place in Tagaytay. Constant rains and thick clouds made it difficult to lounge outside. While that weather sounds like it's perfect for staying indoors to read a book and sleep (which it is), I'd still much rather be outside and enjoy the cool breeze and the quiet darkness.

Last night though was different - pitch dark horizon, no cloud anywhere and the stars were shining! Perfect timing. I brought out my telescope, aligned my mount and pointed towards the brightest object i could see - Jupiter.

Jupiter was at eye level and can be seen even with no telescope. But if you don't use one, you might just mistaken it for another star. Above Jupiter was Uranus, another beaming dot in the sky. In the middle of both gas giants was Aldebaran. I took a glance at other objects in the sky, and, wow, it is such a beautiful night.

Reminded me of that exchange in the 2014 movie Comet:

Its a beautiful night though

What? I never know what that means when people say its a beautiful night? What does it mean?

So, well, to me it means it's comfortable, familiar yet deeply moving.

I've always been so fascinated in astronomy. With the time for clear skies coming, you know I'll be preparing my telescope hours in advance.

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Horsing Around

Okay so it's s been a month and some change when I formally started equestrianism at a private ranch near our weekend house in Tagaytay - progress through the hoof! (punny, yes? yes.)

I'm normally paired with Hershey, a young local stallion who can take my weight. He's all fun but since he's young, he's a bit unpredictable and not so receptive to instructions.

Today, I got paired with Salta, an older mare who's super chill, super comfortable and relaxed. Like riding a couch, essentially. Mia (my coach) did say older horses are more educated with riding practices than the younger ones. But hey, Hershey may be younger but he's one that I'd like to learn with. We're both *young* with a lot of learning to do.

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I’ll never forget Kevin

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this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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I’ll never forget Kevin

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Beach days:)

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NO THIS IS SOME QUALITY CONTENT

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play this at my wedding or funeral I don’t care where but just plAY IT

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Tuesday’s with mama. ☔️☔️

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Screaming! Who started this trend!?

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Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up

Are you hydrated?  If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours?  If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs.  Perhaps some nuts or hummus?

Have you showered in the past day?  If not, take a shower right now.

If daytime: are you dressed?  If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas.  Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?  Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed.  If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day?  If not, do so right now.  If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please.  If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?  Do so, whether online or in person.  Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?  If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?  If not, do so.  Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets.  Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.

Do you feel ineffective?  Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip.  Good job!

Do you feel unattractive?  Take a goddamn selfie.  Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?  Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day.  If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable.  Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?  If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?  That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?  That may be screwing with your head.  Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.

Have you waited a week?  Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause.  It happens.  Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through.  You are stronger than you think.

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How can you sleep at night knowing that you broke someone?

Heartless Jan 19, 2015 (via iwrite-myheart)

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