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Pararelational

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About the last post. I remember thinking how weird it was for witch parents to name their child "Raine", since in the Boiling Isles rain is dangerous and can hurt you. (It gives the same vibes as Wybie from Coraline being named "Whyborn")

But then I realized that maybe that wasn't their birth name, maybe Raine chose that name when they transitioned. Which means that baby Raine basically named themselves the witch version of "Acid". No wonder Eda thought they were so cool

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Some Twitter highlights lol

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- I can hear you. Don’t worry. I’m right here. 

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stampede

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public service announcement

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if you think about it, every time we tranquilize animals to transport them safely to another place, we are the sleep paralysis demon

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Lil Penguin Studios / Autism Happy Place

Autistic Traits

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There are two questions I see most often in discussions about masking.

One is, “What’s the big deal about masking? Doesn’t everyone have to pretend sometimes?” (This is usually from allistics or people who have not yet realized their own neurodivergence.)

And the other (usually from Autistic people) is, “Why do people say masking is bad? I think it helps me.”

But instead of thinking of masking in terms of good or bad, or whether it’s exclusive to Autistic people or not, it might be more helpful to think of it as a matter of degree.

Masking costs us something, everything from a bit of mental energy that can be replenished afterwards to our entire identities. Some people learn to take the mask on and off, while others find it quite the involuntary response. Some have to do it at work or school but get to be themselves at home, others have to keep it on 24/7 because even their home environment is unaccepting or unsafe.

Masking is a survival skill, something that develops out of trauma, and also has the potential to shield us from further trauma. At the same time, it’s linked to PTSD, burnout, and suicidality in Autistic people.

It’s a necessity for many Autistic people, whether it’s to keep a job or not get kicked out of a housing/school situation or to keep from getting killed. It’s also something that not everyone can do, no matter how necessary.

To better understand the impact of masking, try asking these questions instead:

How many of the things in the picture below are you/they having to consciously think about when interacting with people?

How much effort does it take you/them to suppress urges/perform as expected?

How much time per day do you/they have to spend masking?

How much time per day do you/they get to spend unmasked or recovering from masking?

How much time do you/they get to spend in community with people who you/they don’t have to pretend with?

How much is riding on being able to mask?

How much control do you/they have over the mask?

How much does the stress of masking manifest in physical pain?

How much of yourself/themselves have you/they lost to the mask?

Like I said, masking costs us something, always. If someone feels that the benefits they receive from masking outweigh the costs, then they will probably call it “good.” If someone feels they have lost more than they have gained (and that’s an awful lot of us), they will probably call it “bad.”

The one thing we can probably all agree on is that we wish we lived in a world where we didn’t have to do it at all. If you have an Autistic loved one, the more time you can give them where they can be their authentic selves, the better off they will be.

There are many more things that can go into masking than the things I listed below, I just ran out of room. What are some other things that go into YOUR mask?

(Image description in Alt Text.)

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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

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"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic

"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident

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i want all my friends and followers and mutuals and acquaintances to know from the bottom of my heart: i don’t respond to your messages because i’m an insane person, i am insane medieval hermit software running inappropriately on modern queer hardware and social media scares me. it is not your fault

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my mutuals:  *posts moomin*

me (has no idea what they’re talking about):  you’re so right

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Cheating on my mutuals by checking the "For you" tab

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“Then what am I?”

“… you’re Spring Sunshine Su-yeon”.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (이상한 변호사 우영우)

2022, dir. Yoo In Shik

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Sometimes when I feel like I've had a really great conversation with a friend, I'll read back through the texts and most of my replies are 1 word like

"Yes" "ok" "lol" "wow"

And then I understand why sometimes I feel closer to people than they do to me.

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being neurodivergent and constantly being surrounded by other neurodivergents is such a vibe. like,,,

*different and conflicting forms of stimming* "can you PLEASE stop pacing for one moment?? i'm trying to hear this song i've had on repeat for an hour and you keep distracting me"

"where the FUCK are my keys?!?!?" *30 minute group search*

"that's your masking smile. what's wrong??"

*floor time*

*body mirroring/doubling as the only way of getting anything done*

"let me infodump about the Peruvian Nazca Lines!" "okay, but then you have to let me talk about Korean phonetics."

*abandoned hyperfixations as far as the eye can see*

"i'm in hell" "you can do this. just try not to tap your foot. it's called exposure and response therapy for a reason! it's going to be uncomfortable." "i'm going to scream"