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fresh start

In the midst of the chaos i found myself struggling to survive; not just financially but mentally. I have been battling anxiety and depression for the past 4 years since my dad’s passing. Day to day, i need to wake up, prepare 3 cups of coffee, and make breakfast for 4. Coping in this battle of sanity was never easy, but luckily I get by just fine without medications and just being with myself. And then everything starts to fall down one after the other. When I was left without a choice but to shut the remaining source of income that i have since covid happened. I broke down and never knew how to start a new. I have to sell one of our property and vehicle. I never imagined that I have to go through this hell. But i have no choice but to move forward and have a fresh start, with my husband, mom, and sister. I need to get by every single day, pay our business’ debt, selling cooked meals on line, looking for a full time job, taking in small VA work, and the list goes on. I’m tired, my body aches, my head aches, my whole being is in pain. I have to ignore everything and keep myself sane.

I celebrate small wins to help me see the lighter side of everything. I landed on a full-time day job in an advertising agency, we’re making sales little by little with our small start up business, debts are being settled little by little and in a one at a time pace, and most specially I am still okay and my sanity is still intact.

Hitting the restart button is never a bad idea, you just need to be brave. And I know that i will get to where I want to be in time; this is just one part of the process, I just need to be patient and still.

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pandemic plot twists

we all  thought that 2020 will be a great year for everything. for some yes, for some no. with me experiencing both the highs and lows of this pandemic really made last year one hell of a ride.

covid-19 may have locked us inside our homes and made us spend quality time with our family, is one of the bests of 2020. it opened opportunities for micro-entrepreneurs to widen their market. personally on this note, it gave me an outlet on what to do with me losing event jobs, school service, and other businesses in one month; i was able to launch another business to at least cope on my loses as a business woman. i was able to penetrate in the farming business where i get to sell eggs (the white ones) on their freshest state and bring them straight to our end user without delays.

on the other hand, other businesses like ours in the food industry really need to shut down due to health protocols and precautions. luckily the company we used to cater did not allow it to happen. but some things and relationships must come to an end. again, i lost another business. now, i am running two businesses, the egg business and the party tray (food to-go) business. we are in our lowest.

i sell assets to pay all liabilities before it closes or put on inactive status. i never imagined that i will be dealing with the same problems my parents encountered 20 years ago. it never came to my senses that i will have to brave it myself. i have so much on my plate that it started to go out of hand. i never thought of being this low, losing almost everything with one snap. i was so established, i am in control, i am doing my best, i conquered almost everything; and then this happened. my fall back is still my family. my husband, my mom, my sister, and my in-laws. they’re all i have.

its a pandemic twist.

one day you’re living the life you wanted to live, the life you see on tv, the life of the rich and the famous. with just one snap, everything crashes right before my eyes; piling up one after the other.

it all goes back to being human, being humble, and being God centered. not everything will always be in your control but in God’s favor and grace. these detours in my business life may be God’s direction to something better, His protection, and His affirmation of His love and grace. i never lose faith and hope; besides i am still blessed to have a family like no other, i still have roof above my head, food on our table, and a small business to start with. i always tell myself to count my blessings and not my misfortunes, to see the brighter side of the situation, and the rewards of life.

i still have a long way to go before i get back on track, but one thing is certain; God will always be enough that my cup will overflow that i am willing to share it with everyone i meet.

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Happy 145th mamyn! @badboydel #nagiYSAparakayDEL #engagednasidelysa (at Doña Jovita Garden Resort) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuBNg6GHIh2ILICN_Ym23IAHihrQrcmOWFeBRA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a75iw9dt3hnn

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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. #prayerofserenity (at People's Park in the Sky) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqoGZotHubj1CchiQ5kOc6wLHDIjXhEeKFzx3M0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ek19guiup9y8

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Nobody has the ability to make me as weightless and carefree as you can. @badboydel #nagiYSAparakayDEL #engagednasidelysa #delysa18 (at Tagaytay City) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqUsBhpHTGWXjG7jPKMKDh9eerPDnKcELHebMo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=v6jhetlt4pz

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I am happiest when I’m right next to you. Happy 142nd my labs! @badboydel #nagiYSAparakayDEL #engagednasidelysa #delysa18 (at Nuvali) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqTQPZQHEF2bIODCN0tJn2VmruuZa73SflTSxM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=61rp6cl42tcx

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I love random date nights and chill weekends with you 💕💕💕 @badboydel (at Nuvali Ayala Land) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpc9KTMA7SsX9y-dLUuXGbAym8J1AQvaGV7pn00/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sniib71k1rh9

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"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao Tzu Happy 141st month, my labs! 💕💕💕 @badboydel #nagiYSAparakayDEL #engagednasidelysa #delysa18 (at Biñan City) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpDKKneg2TtcuAITBRxr7LniST9HDPWXxt0OCw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14g9r2gdejib0

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Friends are God's way of taking care of us.  -unknown I thank God for sending me an angel who sticks by me through thick and thin. Who walks with me through dark and light. And who loves me unconditionally no matter the circumstances may bring. Happiest birthday mare! I miss you so much! See you the soonest! Love you and take care always 💚💚💚 @lovenotspoiled20 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn7cNOrA_Ip9UKfn-K_vdXAZKitEvlIeAktsoo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1oftljaj7hidp

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Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.      -Franklin P. Jones Happy 141st my labs! To more spontaneous road trips and goofy moments with you! @badboydel #nagiYSAparakayDEL https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn2AzG9gLtwQt7TqYPwaf0AWFdLkBT4gG-cjgg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ojkxcabp40sk

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a @badboydel #engagednasidelysa #nagiYSAparakayDEL https://www.instagram.com/p/BnR3Q5blEXaHbZ-qHgpYvnkIXNJtSUJm48IaLA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=q6bxwhzc9t9w

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What ya lookin' at?! Di maganda gising ko, ako lang ang maganda! Char! 🙈🙈🙈 #sweaterweather #dayoffniInday #kunwarikoreana #filtermomukamo

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🚗 🚗 🚗

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Full size bisyo 😍😍😍 @etudehousephilippines

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I miss you dada 💔

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Today marks your 18th year babs! And i get so emotional to know that you're already a grown up. We wish you your success in your chosen path. We only want the best of the best for you. To God, thank You for the wonderful 18 years of life you have given my not so little babsy. And thank You for blessing her the knowledge, wisdom, and faith. Babs! Be a good girl always, continue to make us proud of your achievements, and be the daughter every parent will wish they have in this life time! Mommy, ate ysa, and kuya ran loves you so much! Happy birthday babsy! 🐷💚🐷💚🐷 Ps. Manglibre ka naman 😘😘😘 @ynnabanana25 @badboydel

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"I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone." — Lord of The Rings Happy 138th my labs! @badboydel #delysa18 (at Splash Suites Tagaytay)