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the year is 2006. you’re an avid fan of collegiate exy. kevin day recently transferred from the best team in the league to the worst after breaking his hand in a skiing accident. before the season starts, janie smalls attempts suicide. she’s a fox, so absolutely no one is surprised by this. however, this means that david wymack has to find a new striker. he picks up a neglected, unremarkable kid from millport. for some reason, this mysterious nobody thinks it’s okay to publicly humiliate riko moriyama, king of exy. apparently, neil josten and kevin day talk shit about riko all the time (this confuses you. kevin and riko are supposed to be best friends). not long after, seth gordon dies of an overdose. once again, it’s the foxes, so no one should be surprised, but something is… off. seth was clean, and it didn’t seem likely for him to throw it away. the foxes don’t get anyone to replace him. despite being short a player, they’re performing better than ever before. you don’t want to admit it, but neil josten can probably be credited with a lot of the foxes success. and something is off about that kid, too. he’s a 5’3 brunette with brown eyes, and then suddenly he’s not. he comes back from winter break with red hair and blue eyes, but more interesting than that is the number four tattooed onto his face, marked for the ravens, marked for the perfect court. the normal minyard twin murders someone in cold blood. neil josten is actually nathaniel wesninski. his father, the butcher of baltimore, tortures him and burns his tattoo off. the trojans throw away their shot at winning. kevin covers up his tattoo with a queen chess piece. he’s never been skiing, the theories behind what happened to his hand are endless. jean moreau transfers to the trojans. this isn’t helping with the abuse allegations. despite everything stacked against them, the foxes beat the ravens. the unhinged minyard twin shatters riko’s hand to stop him from murdering the mafia kid on live tv. for some reason, this is riko’s final straw and he kills himself. some people are blaming kevin, andrew, and neil, but you personally believe that it’s a tad bit dramatic to commit suicide after losing one game and breaking a hand. the rest of the ravens don’t seem to agree, as they’re all suddenly in the most fucked up game of “follow the leader” known to man. jean moreau is spotted being escorted from the foxes dorm room a bloody mess, but that’s only the beginning. one of the ravens stabs himself with a letter opener, another steps onto the subway tracks, and a third overdoses. it’s 2007, and you started saying that the ravens were in a cult as a joke, but you don’t know if it’s a joke anymore. you’re seriously starting to consider that your favorite sport was created solely as a front for the mafia

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well anyways. back to hoping for the downfall of the catholic church

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OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

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chloe grant posted this reel on on insta that i just saw and i know it’s pretty par for the course for girls and women in motorsports but it just reminded me how many talented and driven women r in motorsports who simply do not have the funding or sponsors to compete at the same level as men.

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Join me on my journey to finally unbalance my hormones, toxify my body, boost my inflammation, maximize my cortisol and absolutely destroy my gut health.

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i love the conclave. what do you mean the entire world has tv cameras trained on the chimney of an old italian palace waiting for days or weeks until the color of the smoke changes and we find out who’s been elected as the next supreme dictator of catholicism

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i dont think it’s healthy to keep rotating drivers what if the car gets a venereal disease

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cannot take this sport seriously when it actually has cartoonishly evil figures that have been previously banned for being cartoonishly evil coming back and instantly acting in cartoonishly evil ways

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all timer to me

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ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

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you can go outside and hit things with a stick. it’s spring you can do anything

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"do you want a woman in f1?" no, i want WOMEN in f1. i want women in fe, i want women in f2 f3 and f4, i want women in wec, in elms, in alms, i want women in rally, i want women in indycar, i want women in nascar, i want women everywhere because that's where we belong.

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anybody else like old person candy at the ripe age of 24

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told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

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scientists wont tell you this! (because it's not true)

experts don't want you to know this! (because it's made up)

doctors HATE this one trick! (because it's dangerous and unhealthy)

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poszedłem do pasmanterii kupić zakrzywioną igłę, którą znam pod angielską nazwą curved needle, i przychodze patrze na babke z obsługi i troche miałem laga mózgu i zapomniałem jak to sie po polsku nazywa, ale że jestem zaradny chłop to popełniłem kalkę językową. Niestety jednak zarezultowało to pytaniem ''czy macie może zakurwione igły?"

nie zrozumiała o co mi chodziło.

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so. i mentioned that I'm having a shit day to the girl i'm talking to. like, in the morning, whatever. and I just got flowers delivered??? with a message "currently fighting the universe to make your day better". HELLO???? what kind of rom com bullshit is this, what the hell am I meant to do now?? fall in love?? kill myself??? CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME