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We don't talk enough about the fact that Ren disappeared for two whole seasons. We don't talk enough about the fact that Martyn wins a game during that time, while the Watchers wreak havoc in his mind.

The first time Martyn sees Ren in Wild Life, he isn't excited; he's scared. So much has happened in the two seasons he's been gone. Having him back doesn't feel real. It feels like another trick from the Watchers. Martyn is too tired for hope, but here's Ren, playing his guitar.

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Hermit Hobby Headcanons - Part 1

Some of the things hermits do to unwind:

Bdubs got a pottery wheel as a Christmas present from Grian, and ever since he'd been trying to make clay pots, and sculptures. All of it, currently, looks absolutely awful, everything ends up a complete mess whenever he tries, but he's in absolute denial of this.

Sometimes Beef does landscape painting. As in, those huge renaissance oil paintings with a billion details. Sometimes Scar joins him as well, they just sit and paint together. They particularly like painting Bdubs's bases because A: just look at them, B: they get to spy on Bdubs, and C: Beef hides a tiny angry bdubs stickman somewhere in his piece

Cleo and Joe have whole chess tournaments together. Sometimes they're huge professional events with chess timers and Xisuma keeping them in line, and insane strategy, and sometimes Joe organises them. Cub also sometimes joins in, but they banned him after he became unbeatable. Once Cub roped in Scar to play with Cleo, and Scar ate Cleo's queen to stop her from winning.

In season 6, Cub became obsessed with making the perfect cake, which he did eventually achieve, and from there gained the repuation of being the greatest baker on Hermitcraft. From there he grew his repertoire to include pastries, sourdough and sinnamon buns. He's still learning to make cookies and traybakes, and is driven absolutely insane by the fact Scar just dumps random amounts of everything into a bowl and gets perfect cookies every time.

He also stargazes with Scar

Doc does hyperbolic plane crochet. (Yes this is an actual thing, my IRL friend does it). Which is insanely mathematical, and complicated, and gives you the strangest shapes of fabric. He once just gave Cub a piece of crochet in a convex hyperbolic plane and expected him to understand it. He also crochets socks for the hermits with hooves and once a set of cheerleader pom poms to cheer on Etho in the TCG final.

After third life Martyn gave Etho a broken wooden puzzle box that is completely unsolvable as a joke. Etho is in denial about this and still working on it in Season 10.

False rollerblades. She once had a bet with Ren of who can wear rollerblades/rollerskates instead of shoes the longest. Ren fell over twice within his first 30 seconds of wearing them. False kept her rollerblades on for about 5 days, and from then it just became another choice of regular footwear. They've been especially useful in pranking get-aways. False also does skiing and bobsled, particularly in Season 9 around the mountains in her base. She, for some reason, cannot seem to learn ice skating. Tango, very good at ice skating, always laughs at her for this.

Grian keeps a knitting project on him at all times. Sometimes this is a new red sweater for himself, or some Christmas/birthday present for another hermit, or The Long Boi (giant scarf Grian has been slowly adding to since Evo). Whenever he's bored, stressed, or needs to fidget, he just pulls it out and absently continues it.

Gem fences. She's been doing it for an incredibly long time and is terrifying at foil, epee, and sabre, but she prefers foil. She's tried to teach Pearl and Impulse how to fence. Impulse really picked it up for a bit, but never had the agility of Gem at it. Hypno also fences, and is also very good at it, so the two often meet up and have fencing competitions. Once they did a match where they didn't know how many points the other person was going to. And they ended up both going to 15 points. (Actually happened to me and my friend)

Hypno's an avid birdwatcher. He's got a huge feather collection, all perfectly organised, and a bird journal of species he sees, with stunning pencil illustrations of birds. Wels and Jevin have gaslit him into thinking he's almost discovered a completely new bird, by leaving painted chicken feathers around and inventing bird calls for it. Wels also sometimes sends his trained falcon amock when Hypno's trying to birdwatch, and once convinced Grian (without much difficulty) to fill Hypno's base with chickens. There's also a running joke between Hypno, enjoyer of observing feathered creatures, and Jimmy, avian/canary hybrid with connection to many eyed-gods, about birdwatchers vs bird-Watchers

Impulse tinkers with electronics far more than advisable. He's gotten electrocuted more than every other hermit combined, once caused a complete redstone power outage (and was left facing Doc's wrath), and accidentally created a horrifying death-trap of wires, crocodile clips, and circuitry that Xisuma had to confiscate for safety purposes after Mumbo nearly perma-died to it. He also made a supercomputer that Grian immediately broke.

Jevin speedruns solving rubix cubes. He's currently trying to solve 6 by 6, and once stayed up 54 hours attempting to fix one of his 5-by-5 cubes before Hypno admitted to switching around two of the stickers. Jevin refuses to admit that xB is actually better than him, because, to him, xB just messes around with increasingly large cubes and solves them by accident. Both of them collect fancy cubes as well, and they once got each other the exact same holographic cube of different shades of blue for Christmas one year. (Jevin solved his first)

Joe writes stand-up comedy shows. He's got an entire storage unit of scripts for full-length hour long shows he's written, edited, beta tested, and then never performed.

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Headcanon:

Different Hermits use different things for their inventory. The standard for players is a bag that functions basically like a Bag of Holding from DnD, a pocket space that you can look or reach into.

The most common thing to do is to customize your bag in some way: Pearl’s this season is her mailbag. False’s is her briefcase (which also contains several rivers of course). Gem has a leather coin pouch attached to her belt. Juppet has a similar felt pouch sewn onto his pants.

You can, however, redirect this pocket dimension elsewhere if you want, though it takes some finessing and can be awkward for larger objects so most people don’t bother. Cleo, notably, has their’s tucked into their open body cavity. Cub’s is in an inner pocket of his lab coat. X appears to just pull stuff from nothing because he actually has it embedded in a glove.

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knight gem

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picnic :3

check out the fundraiser

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sure. scarian wedding. why the hell not.

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Like how a group of crows is called a murder or a group of rattlesnakes is called a rhumba, all the Hermits have their own collective nouns.

- An Overgrowth of Bdubs

- A Swarm of Cubs

- A Scheme of Docs

- A Lab of Ethos

- A Flight of Falses

- An Army of Gems

- A Good-Times of Scars

- A Pesky of Grians

- A Hut of Hypnos

- A Gloop of Jevins

- An Excess of Impulses

- A Poem of Joe Hills

- A Stare of Keralises

- A Cutlery of Mumbos

- A Flutter of Pearls

- A Pack of Rens

- A Buddeh of Skizzes

- A Church of Joels

- A Skadoodle of Tangos

- A Butchery of Beefs

- A Guard of xBs

- A Derp of Xisumas

- A Herd of Zedaphs

- A Horde of Cleos

- A Chivalry of Wels

.

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Hermit a Day May; Day 16, Scar, God of Delight. ...

His full portrait without the background:

This AU has come to life because of Hermit a Day May, who are running a fundraiser! If you like my work, please check it out! Check it out here!

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HaDM 14: group/collabs pt 1: Convex

I have fanart coming later.

(Spoiler alert: It's more Convex because Convex are the best)

PoV: Cub

Baking the perfect cake is a science. 

And it’s one I’ve spent an awful lot of time studying.

I’ve read hundreds of books on baking and food science, memorised what every single ingredient does, tested every single quantity of every different kind of flour, sugar, dairy, fat, raising agent, flavouring. Hours spent testing, comparing, sampling. Of course, it was the secret ingredient that caused the most chaos, and Scar’s now officially banned from talking about the time he found me in the middle of the S6 shopping district, high on vex magic.

But it was all worth it. After hundreds of cakes, and hundreds of recipes, and hundreds of hours, I found what almost every hermit has unanimously decided is ‘the perfect cake’. I put the issue to rest. The hermits were happy, Scar particularly was happy, so I decided to be happy.

From then, it didn't take long to gain a reputation as the guy who makes perfect cakes. A reputation I refuse to take alone, as the only reason they’re any good is the stunning work Scar does in designing and frosting them. For every event, party, situation, we’re the first people any Hermit calls. 

And, so, 5 years later, it’s only natural that Impulse called us for Skizz’s surprise 1-year-of-Hermitcraft party.

I stand by the furnace, counting down the final seconds, oven gloves over my hands, poised to grab the final layer of our five-storey cake of Skizz’s pyramid at  the exact right moment. The rest are in varying levels of cooling and frosted on the table behind, Scar’s busy on layer two. 

The timer beeps. With well-practiced skill, I open the furnace, grab the cake, and place it on the surface behind, simultaneously slamming shut the furnace door with one foot. A quick check with a metal rod proves it’s cooked. I switch off the oven, smiling.

‘It is taking everything in me to just sit here and frost these instead of eating the entire thing right now…’ Scar calls, deep in concentration, from across the room. I chuckle back.

‘Cheers. You’re doing an incredible job, man.’

Scar glances up at me with, also well practiced, sad puppy eyes. ‘Do you have more cake scraps for me? As payment?’

‘Coming right up!’ I say, grabbing layer 3 to start trimming down, right as the timer for cooking finishes. I slip it from the tin, measure exactly the height it should and cut slowly and carefully across the whole layer.

‘Thanks, Cub! You’re the best! Layer two is very nearly done… I’ve just got a few more bricks to go…’

‘You love to hear it!’ I stick a crumb-covered finger in my mouth, taste-testing.

And freeze.

A sour taste fills my mouth, a blandness, a dry wodge where the texture should be light and fluffy. I can't swallow. I just stand there, dangerously close to crying, running through the recipe, running through everything I did, every step, every quantity I carefully sized down for each cake. How did I get too little sugar? This much too little sugar? So much that it’s not just imperfect, it’s almost inedible.

‘Cub?’ Scar says behind, noticing my silence. ‘What’s wrong?’

I sprint across the room, snatching the recipes from the side, the one I checked, and double checked, and triple checked, scouring until I see.

Fuck.

I put the quantities of sugar on the way round. On cakes three and four. There’s not enough sugar. 

Which means cake four is fucked up too.

And if we’re missing two of the cake layers, then the whole cake is ruined.

Skizz’s surprise cake is ruined.

‘Fuck!’ I slam my hand on the table, scrunching the recipe as tears blur it. 

‘Hey- hey, Cub? What happened? Come on- sit down. It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok. Just tell me what happened.’ Scar puts a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to face him. Tears run down my cheeks. I try to take deep breaths.

‘The- the sugar- I fucked up the sugar and now the whole cake is ruined-’

‘How bad it is? Is it a little messed up, or a lot?’

‘Messed up is messed up, Scar! It’s practically inedible. When it’s supposed to be fucking perfect.’

‘Ok. Cub, we’re just gonna sit down… sit down with me, Cub.’ Scar places a hand back on my shoulder, forcing me to the ground. I lean against the counter, tears running down my face. ‘Breathe. We have time.’

‘No we don't, I didn't plan time for me to fucking remake-’

‘Breathe.’ Scar repeats. ‘We can just sit together for a bit until you’re feeling better.’

‘We don't have time.’ I try to stand again.

‘I’ll get Impulse to delay. He’ll understand…’ Scar searches through his pocket until he finds the 

Indiana Jones flask always keeps on him. He passes it to me. ‘Here. Have a little. It’ll calm you down.’

I take a sip of what I know is infused with vex magic. Scar nods, squeezing my shoulder.

‘Good. Just breathe, Cub. It’ll be alright. What happened with the sugar in the cakes?’

‘I got them the wrong way around. Between the two recipes. And somehow didn't notice that. Because I’m an idiot.’

‘No you’re not, Cub.’

‘And now we’re gonna be late to the party, or have either half a cake, or have a whole cake that’s partially inedible, and in any case it’s going to be awful, because this is Skizz’s party, and he’s been waiting to try my cake for months, and he deserves to have the best, but not half an hour late because-’

Scar hugs me, silencing the ramble into shock. My mind still buzzes, the thoughts still prevail. I start sobbing into Scar’s shoulder. He rubs my back.

‘It’s ok, Cub,’ he whispers. ‘It’s ok. I know this sucks for you, especially with your whole reputation, and after all your amoyzing cake research that, honestly, Cub, I don't know how you didn't get bored of it, or give up, or throw up more… You’ve put so, so much effort into this, you should be so proud of even having a perfect cake recipe to mess up.’

I’m still sobbing. Every second is one I can't spend correcting my mistake, every second is another apology to all the other hermits waiting for us, all because I messed up, and more than that, I couldn't cope with messing up.

Scar’s communicator buzzes, repeatedly.

‘Oh, shoot- Grian’s calling me- hang on…’ Scar slips from the hug, answering. I stand, downing the water. My head clears enough to start thinking, remaking the cake. ‘Grian? Hello- yeah, it’s coming… there was a little incident… yeah… no, Grian, I can't come over… no- no I’m staying here with Cub, I’m still helping him. Bye.’

He hangs up. I start gathering baking equipment back from where it’s piled in the sink, taking deep breaths.

‘Do you want help?’

‘I’m fine. Keep going with the frosting, it looks amazing.’

‘Oh, it’s not much. Pretty simple design… I can help you and still have time…’

‘I’d rather do it myself.’ I glance at Scar. He nods, understanding. ‘If you don't mind.’

‘Oh, of course.’ Scar steps back. ‘Just say if you need help.’

‘I’ll have to do one big batch…’ I murmur, finding sugar and butter again. ‘That’s the only way…’ 

Ten minutes later, I’ve almost finished the new lot of cake batter. The only stage left is the most important, adding the tiniest amount of vex magic, just enough to make the cake ‘perfect’ but not enough to hurt the non-Vexling hermits. Scar’s finished icing the second bottom layer of cake, and positioned it on top of the first. I hear him racing across the room to grab the next one.

And then the crash.

I snap my attention to him, sprawled on the floor, right next to the ruined remains of the top layer of cake he just dropped, plate and all, on the ground. His bare hand, desperately scooping up shards of sharp porcelain.

‘Oh my gosh- oh- oh no Cub I’m so sorry!’ Scar apologises, in tears. ‘I didn't mean to, I just tripped and then- ow- ow-’

‘Shit Scar, are you ok?!’ I drop the vex-magic bottle into the mixing bowl and sprint over. His hands are bleeding. But more than that, his arm, where it must’ve landed on the wreckage, running with red.

‘Oh Cub- your cake- I dropped it- and- and now I’ve ruined the ones you were remaking by distracting you-’

‘I don't care about that, Scar, I don't care about that… oh man, that looks nasty…’ I carefully take his hand, assessing the tiny cuts right down his arm, where he landed. ‘Come on, sit down over here, we’ll clean this other mess up after the party.

‘But-’

‘Scar. You’re my best friend. I could be baking a cake for the Vex themselves and I’d still stop if you were hurt. Now, come on, I’ve got some tweezers somewhere, and some bandages…’ I lead Scar to the table where he’s been decorating the cakes, grabbing medical equipment from my 

pockets as I go. He’s taking deep breaths, clearly ashamed.

‘I’m so sorry, Cub. I just messed everything up again…’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ I start picking the tiny bits of broken plate from his arm. ‘It’ll be ok.’

‘Be honest with me, Cub. Please. If you’re annoyed about the cake, be annoyed.’

‘I’m not annoyed.’ I look him in the eyes. ‘Certainly not at you.’ I’ve just moved on to cleaning the cuts as Scar’s communicator buzzes again.

‘Not now, Grian…’ I mutter. Scar answers it anyway.

‘Scar, where the hell are you?! Skizz is right outside, Impulse is doing everything he can to keep him there, and we still don't have a cake! Don't tell me Cub’s going insane trying to make it the ‘perfect cake’.’

Red creeps up my face at Grian’s words. Scar glares towards his communiator.

‘He’s actually helping me. I tripped over and hurt myself, Cub’s being a real gentleman and treating my gaping wounds!’

‘Oh SCAR…’ I can hear Grian’s exasperation through the screen. ‘You need to stop getting hurt, buddy!’

‘It’s not his fault.’ I interject. ‘He was rushing, because I’d messed up one of the cakes. Well- two of them,’

‘Right. Should someone order something instead? Or is this fixable within the next 2 minutes?’

‘We’ll bring what we already have.’ I decide, glancing at Scar’s two beautifully decorated cakes. Scar’s eyes widen with an are you sure? look. I nod, silently replying.

Better than being late, right?

Yeah. He signals. Even though I can see in his eyes he’s unsure.

‘Good. Make it quick- oh shoot- hi Skizz! What’s going on bud?’

Grian hangs up. I finish with the last of Scar’s cuts, gently his hands in bandages.

‘What do you want to do with the cake?’

‘It’s your cake.’

‘Our cake, Scar,’ I correct. ‘You’re in charge of decorating. Except you’re not going to do anything with your hands like that, so I’ll just follow your lead. What do you want to do?’

‘Well… we can't just deliver a grey cake to Skizz,’ Scar mutters. ‘We need to do something else with it.’

‘Any ideas?’

‘One. We’ll need blue food colour. And the frosting in the piping bag with the tiny detail nozzle.’ he says. I spot the food color amongst Scar’s collection of colors.

‘How much?’ 

‘Just a couple drops.’ He says. I obey, mixing it in and getting it all into the correct piping bag. ‘And hopefully, if we have time, we can still make this the most amoyzing cake ever…’

20 minutes later.

‘Oh my gosh- this is a trap, right? You’re gonna kill me?’

We all fall silent as Skizz stumbles, blindfolded, into Impulse’s base where all of us are waiting. Me and Scar have the cake. Grian and Impulse successfully distracted Skizz with his own base for long enough to get Scar’s plan for the cake complete. We now wait, near the middle of the room. My heart races. I stare down at the far less impressive two layers of cake we’ve got, covered in squiggles of blue frosting.

Impulse tells Skizz to stop, pulls off his blindfold and-

‘HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SKIZZ!’ everyone shouts. Except Scar, who very confidently says ‘Happy Birthday!’ instead.

‘I knew it!’ Skizz bursts out. ‘I knew you were planning something, Impulse!’

‘You did?!’

‘It was obvious, man! You were acting so shifty all week- this is amazing. Thank you. Wait- oh my gosh- I got my own Rubba-dub Cub cake?!’ Skizz notices the cake, running over.

‘No, you got yourself a Sir Scar AND Rubba-dub Cub cake.’ I correct, putting my free arm around Scar’s back. He smiles. ‘Happy one year of Hermitcraft, Skizz.’

We hold the cake closer. I look down at the blue icing messages of every single hermit on the cake. Only two layers, definitely not as impressive as I was hoping for. I await disappointment that never comes.

‘What- dude- this is incredible! Is that everyone’s name?! Rubbadub-Cub… you’ve outdone yourself.’

‘All Scar’s idea. It was going to be your base, but uh-’

‘Hey, accidents happen. This is Hermitcraft, man! And it’s going to taste amazing anyway- oh man, I’ve heard so much about this cake, Cub…’ Zedaph passes Skizz a knife. He cuts a generous slice of cake for himself, then every other hermit. We all wait for him to try, for his reaction… Skizz takes a huge bite of cake. He chews experimentally, giving us a billion hilarious expressions to go along with it, before swallowing. He opens his eyes.

‘Are you actually kidding me right now?’ I give a nervous chuckle. ‘Cub. Rubbadub Cub. Cubfan135. How are you amazing at absolutely everything?! This is incredible! How, man, just HOW?’

‘Baking cakes is a science, Skizz,’ Scar explains. ‘And if Cub here is one thing, it’s a scientist. And a wonderful, magic, magic man.’

‘It took a lot of attempts.’ I say.

‘...And wanderings of the shopping district, high on vex magic.’

‘You’re banned from telling that story, Scar! Remember?’

‘You didn't give me my chest of diamond blocks as bribe money, remember?’ Scar shoots back. We both laugh. Behind, Joel mutters something.

‘Honestly, I prefer Lizzie’s cake.’

Scar opens his mouth to protest. I just shrug.

‘Honestly?’ I say, turning to face him, thinking through all the hours of stress and trouble. ‘I think I do too.’

The end!

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grian giggling and being mischievous for 35 seconds

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HADM: Day 11-Cub

It seems like things aren’t as easy as they seem… where in the world could Grian be?

Next >>

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Beginning

Assets under the cut ;P

(Note: I gotta go somewhere early today so y’all get this one earlier than the others

The amount of times I’ve had Hermit’s eyes be unable to be seen you’d think I hate drawing eyes. It’s the opposite, I don’t know why this keeps happening

I’ve also been hit with the realization that I have to somehow figure out how to draw Jevin as a human, wish me luck)

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Hermit a Day May; Day 12, Pearl, Moon Incarnate. You... Think this might be Jimmy's fault?

...You also know too much, Moon.

Her full portrait without the background:

This AU has come to life because of Hermit a Day May, who are running a fundraiser! If you like my work, please check it out! Check it out here!

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da da da~

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Hermit a Day May; Day 11, Cub, Champion of Innovation.

His full portrait without the background:

This AU has come to life because of Hermit a Day May, who are running a fundraiser! If you like my work, please check it out! Check it out here!

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Hermit a Day May; Day 10, Gemini, Personification of Luck.

Her full portrait with transparent background:

This AU has come to life because of Hermit a Day May, who are running a fundraiser! If you like my work, please check it out! Check it out here!

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I found the best jimmy and tango centered super heroes' fanfic the other day and I had to make fanart for it!!

its called Even Ice walls fall down go check it out if you want a well written hero villain dynamic

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what da (ren) dog doin?