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Probably because I was in his bed boo <3, and you’re right, he does have excellent taste that’s why we spend so much time together. I’m sorry I actually see him when he’s not at work. You get there one day! Maybe he will see you and you won’t have to work as hard :(!

Hi Doc, any good summer food recommendations? It'll be 40C this weekend in my area.

Ice. Ice.

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Aww… you thought you ate! That’s so cute!! You’re right, I don’t go to the meetings I can’t afford him being distracted at work. Plus I also kinda have my own job, sorry I’m not stuck to him like a barnacle. :(

We do text during meetings though, and get lunch together from time to time. We don’t really talk about his work though (shrug) to much other stuff to talk about. And thank you! I will enjoy my swag though not as much as your boss does! :)!!

Hi Doc, any good summer food recommendations? It'll be 40C this weekend in my area.

Ice. Ice.

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Maybe your just not cool enough? Me and Mycroft be listening to some swagalicious tracks. Then again company time and personal time are different so (shrug)

Hi Doc, any good summer food recommendations? It'll be 40C this weekend in my area.

Ice. Ice.

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Sup again homie g funk, I’m grateful that me and my Mycroft share that in common, the science community wants our head, which I don’t blame them it’s pretty good.

Listen man, I’m just trying to give my pookie enrichment that isn’t paperwork. Traveling around the world is cool and all, but without someone to share your experience with it’s pretty eh, I’m just here to give him a little charge to his electric boogaloo.

Also I would never attempt to accidentally do anything, everything I do I do on purpose. Unless it actually is an accident, I am quite prone to those… regardless, doing actual crimes makes my tummy hurt so I will obviously not be trespassing. It’s not my fault that me and my pookie have similar taste in classical art. That or his favorite section is next to mine, all this to say I just want to look at my water paintings when I’m there. Though I do with they had some works from Ivan Aivazovsky, he is a personal favorite of mine.

Between the waves- Ivan Aivazovsky (1898)

If I took your brother out to the museum and a nice little Italian place do you think he’d let me smash? Asking for a friend (I am the friend)

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What’s crackalacking, so I can’t help but notice that you said he doesn’t glitter but nothing about him being a princess, I’m glad we both agree that he is still my princess.

For the animal pet names, fair. I understand why, though it pains me to not be able to call him my kitten meow meow, I will just settle for pookie, as a reference to my favorite being Garfield, try to sue me if you wish but I’m an an American sadly, so I have the freedom of speech that I will continue to use for tomfoolery.

What’s wrong with my speech? I’m hip to bone. I apologize for my swagger, I shall turn it down so that your team can remove their shades. We both know I’m as threatening as a squirrel, but on that same note I am also as persistent as one trying to get my..I’ll leave that in the air.

He is indeed decorative, and endangered. Thats kinda part of his job… but hey I would not complain seeing him without a suit so I willing to bend on this point of conjecture.

Thank you for your continued surveillance, I now have seven new friends, who are all scarily good with a gun, we are getting soft tacos later. Would you like one?

Listen man you gotta level with me, I’m trying to wife up your brother here, if you help me I swear I can keep him outta your hair for at least..at leasttt three weeks maybe more, if and only IF I can rizz him up, so help me help you.

Hmm. Tempting. But what makes you think he'd agree to let himself get 'rizzed up' by you? No—he'd be appalled by your terminology alone.

SH

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Yo sup, I’m back. I apologize for the late response I was in fact sleeping,(something I could do with your boss if you’d let me.) regarding my scent this is my actual favorite scent the color is in fact a coincidence, the universe favors me; maybe that’s why. For it being so banal, I must ask you this, are classics not classics for a reason? It has far more notes than just those, all I supplied was the base notes, do I need to describe it in more detail so you can smell the cologne on your bosses shirts? I can just bring you the bottle if you’d like( I have several, this is not a joke, see attached photo.) 

As for my memes, all I have to say is this; My memes are like 100% pure soul juice, daddio. the soup in my bones, and the hyuck to my yah, without them it’s a no bones day, dawg; All fax no printer. Translation my memes they are a part of my soul, the lyrical essence of my being; the poetry in my veins, the laughter in my eyes, and for that I am certain that everyday I walk without them is a day I spent broken.

As my for scheduled down fall, please. I have a death wish, I do not mind.

As for my baked goods, not every Texan is the same. I do not like pecans, and yes have you ever had a tres leche, it really does help with trama I should know my mom died(this is true, I can makes jokes about as you can see) and well it didn’t fix it but by golly did I feel a little better!

Synopsis, yeah some of them fish hit me up, I don’t know how? But someone pushed it through!paper was wet though, took ages to dry. I must say that you are painting your boss to be a work in progress; and to that I say, hand me a hard hat and an OSA certification, because I am WILLING to be his construction worker. <3

To my glorbo, can we get coffee again? I promise I’ll pay this time(lie.)

(Out of character, is it safe to assume you’re having fun with this? Like I’m not bothering you?)

Trynna bag me a Holmes the older on preferably how’d you do it? Do I need like a certain scent or something? Lay out a cake under a cardboard box and string? Any tip will help a homie out!

First of all, bold. I respect your confidence.

Second, if you’re thinking of catching Mycroft Holmes with cake and a cardboard box, you’d better upgrade your trap to include diplomatic immunity and about five levels of plausible deniability.

He’s not exactly the type to fall for bait. He is the ‘knew you were planning it three days ago and already sent someone to intercept your sponge’ type.

As for scent? Try something that says ‘I could blackmail a lord, but I won’t unless you bore me.’

Honestly though, if you do manage to bag him, write a manual. The rest of us have questions.

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Listen gang, I have the perfect scent already, Oxford Bleu. It’s delightful with a vanilla and sandalwood base(please sponsor me this soup is expensive.) I promise, he would enjoy it. Listen I have self control, but do not take my memes from me. Would you take the bells from a jester? And risk removing his very soul from his performance? I’m glad my man has my IP address, he can show up whenever he pleases; it’s not something I tried to hide, I would never hide from my wifie; he’s too gorgeous for that. As for baked goods not working, you’ve clearly never had mine, I’m from Texas baby; we know how to cook.

Trynna bag me a Holmes the older on preferably how’d you do it? Do I need like a certain scent or something? Lay out a cake under a cardboard box and string? Any tip will help a homie out!

First of all, bold. I respect your confidence.

Second, if you’re thinking of catching Mycroft Holmes with cake and a cardboard box, you’d better upgrade your trap to include diplomatic immunity and about five levels of plausible deniability.

He’s not exactly the type to fall for bait. He is the ‘knew you were planning it three days ago and already sent someone to intercept your sponge’ type.

As for scent? Try something that says ‘I could blackmail a lord, but I won’t unless you bore me.’

Honestly though, if you do manage to bag him, write a manual. The rest of us have questions.

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I could be so good to him, bro; he’d be my glitter princess! My Wife! My pookie bear!, as for my colloquials, there apart of my charm man. You wouldn’t clip a birds wings would you? Get rid of the Mona Lisa’s smile? No it makes them all the more beautiful and unique.

Listen man you gotta level with me, I’m trying to wife up your brother here, if you help me I swear I can keep him outta your hair for at least..at leasttt three weeks maybe more, if and only IF I can rizz him up, so help me help you.

Hmm. Tempting. But what makes you think he'd agree to let himself get 'rizzed up' by you? No—he'd be appalled by your terminology alone.

SH

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I shan’t!

If I took your brother out to the museum and a nice little Italian place do you think he’d let me smash? Asking for a friend (I am the friend)