bluegreenoopshi - Tumblr blog

[bluegreenoopshi]

Oh so you kin James Potter?

What's it like being a perpetual people pleaser? What's it like remembering everything about everyone else but sometimes wishing they remembered anything at all about you? Or how you pour too much of your own money or time into other people. How you wish you didn't. How you hate change but won't admit it and even though you seem like a leader you're more likely to be a follower. How does it feel to tell yourself you haven't had it bad enough to consider it trauma? How does it feel, to wish you had someone who reciprocated even an ounce of the affection you give to other people. How does it feel to fall in love with people more quickly than you can register? How does it feel to be an ambivert? To have some days where you can't shut up and others where you hate yourself for it. And tell me how it feels to have no greater desire than some sort of group or conformity to reside in? How does it feel to not know who you are when you aren't around other people? How does it feel to be acutely self-aware and more than logical but to still let your emotions get the best of you? How does it feel, to feel unwanted? How does it feel to blame yourself for things entirely out of your control? How does it feel to lay awake at night thinking about your parents and the stray cat in the alley and the man you saw looking awfully down in some passing moment on some sidewalk today? How does it feel to have used every prayer you ever thought you had on the burdens others carried? How does it feel to have been the little kid adults confided their issues in from an early age? How does it feel to give the best advice anyone could ask for but have no sense of direction in your own life? How does it feel to strike a match on yourself to keep others warm? You only seem to set things on fire that way . How does it feel to have an earth-sized hole in your chest? How does it feel to think with your heart not your head?

How does it feel to feel too much?

How does it feel to own things until they are just near broken because you never learned how to let go? How does it feel to be watering dead flowers? Why can't you let things die? You can't love things that don't want to be loved. You can't care enough for the whole word.

[bluegreenoopshi]

marauders fans latching on to ttpd like its their last lifeline

[bluegreenoopshi]

do you ever just need a hug from louis tomlinson

[bluegreenoopshi]

I wanna go to a party and have the best fucking night of my life with all my favourite people and after i wanna go home together w my fav person and just cuddle to fall asleep, that's all I want please

[bluegreenoopshi]

I wouldn't do it myself but if someone would kill me I don't think I'd complain

[bluegreenoopshi]

They way that I'm just now realising how much I actually relate to her. Tbh since season 2 I've loved Imogen and maybe that's why but I don't know.

Even though Imogen is such a small part of the show, the bits and pieces we get from her are so telling and make my heart ache for her. The way she stayed in her friend group even when Harry clearly didn't respect her. How even though she's close to Nick, she doesn't listen to his warning about Ben because she's clinging to anyone who makes her feel wanted. The lost and sad but unsurprised look on her face when everyone starts forming their Paris trip groups and she has no one to group with. The way she asks about joining Nick and his friends and is pleasantly shocked when they seem to actually want her there. She's so obviously a girl who's spent a long time if not her whole life feeling undesired and will latch onto affection wherever she can find it as a result, and though that part hurts, my favorite little side plot was her slowly integrating into the main group and seemingly finding real community and connection for the first time. I'm so glad Alice Oseman added her to the show. And admittedly I'm a bit tempted to write a little one-shot fleshing out her history and her becoming part of the group because she's important to me.

[bluegreenoopshi]

I am fucking scared to death that they don't trust me anymore like before, that we're losing our connection, that they're not interested anymore. I am absolutely done with existing if that ever happens.

[bluegreenoopshi]

Desperately in need of a girlfriend? Well let me tell you something-

See this is why I was hesitant on putting it there I'll remove it lmao I practically already have one it's not like I want anyone else

[bluegreenoopshi]

[closed]

[bluegreenoopshi]

I'm still trying to figure tumblr out, I don't know how it works but it seems so fun. Someone please help me