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bluesdrummer420 · 8 years ago

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My Relationship With Love Chapter 2.

I've posted these kind of sort of short stories on a couple sites and you all seem to like it..so...here's another.

Chapter 2 in the tragedy that is my love life.

A few months go by after the sudden break up with Taylor and I still feel like shit BUT I do what all guys do, I bury it and keep my mind busy. Well, this chick from kind of another group that is friends with one of my friends girlfriend asks said girlfriends friend (still with me here? Hahah) about the, not kidding this is a direct quote, "weird lonely looking asshole that slams his head into lockers to scare the normies?" She said "from what Brian says that's his way of dealing with break ups...your guess is as good as mine, I think he needs to visit a padded cell for a while but that's just me."

Yeah it was kind of a way to deal but I got tired of people asking me about it so I did the next best thing I could think of, looking back probably not really a very good thought hahah, but this made her even more curious. She started hanging around our table, I sat down at the end..alone, they respected (and out of slight fear) my wish to be left the fuck alone. On, what would've been our 1 year anniversary, she skipped them and sat down on the other side of the table while I had my head down listening to Slipknot - (sic). I heard them slowly fade into silence as she walked past them.

I looked up with "fuck off or I'll give a new meaning to murder" eyes. She didn't budge, fuck..she grinned, I finally said "can I help you?" Here's another line I'll never forget. She said "yeah. You can tell the voices in your head to shut the fuck up and stop moping around over what I'm assuming was your first girlfriend." My eyebrow shot up and I couldn't help myself "how did you know I hear voices? Do they yell at you too? Do they yell you the same regurgitated babble bullshit that everyone else has said? The first is always the hardest but there will always be more and more heartbreak and blah dee fuckin blah. You have no fuckin clue. I can see it in your eyes that no one has talked to you like this before. No one has challenged your attitude with an attitude plus rage before. Do you really want to know what the voices tell me?" I'm standing at this point with her eyes wide and the color in her skin fading as she nods. I stand and lean in and whisper "the voices tell me to move the fuck on and forget about her but the fact that I was played by a bully bitch jock and his whore of a girlfriend is what stings the fuckin most. I hide myself away so I won't have a black out and wake up in a jail cell for murder." I lean back and continue "that's what they fuckin tell me. I sit back down and after about 30 seconds maybe longer she says "well....I'm glad." I look at her with slight confusion. "I'm glad you barely have control of your rage, after all.." she grins "..wheres the fun in it?" I slowly let out a grin as the bell rings.

2ed period class. Now things have changed a bit in my schedule since Taylor, I requested a bit if a change since I saw her in most of my classes so the guidance counselor helped me transfer into other classes now I only see her in gym, BUT I have the new chick, Kerstin, to keep me distracted...actually Kerstin is in most of my new classes.

Gym rolls around and I'm not looking forward to it. I change and head out as they're stretching. The teacher asks if I'll be joining the game or if it's the same old same old, I kind of grin and head for the track door, I hear her say "should've known." I open the door and start my walk around the track when I hear someone running behind me, I glance back and it's Taylor, she slows up and walks next to me then says "Look I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't know that you were serious if I did I would be told you what was going on, I know the jocks try to pick on you and I don't agree, but I want you to know that me and him are through. I'm not asking for a second chance but at the very least don't hate me." I stop and look at her. "How can I hate someone I actually fell for ,granted yeah I'm young, but I'm old school when it comes to this shit and you know it. You knew subconsciously that he was trying to fuck with me you just didn't want to believe it because.." I'm mocking at this point "..he's such a good guy that he'd never treat another like shit just because he can. Yeah no. I don't hate you I just fuckin hate that I love you." I start to walk towards the door as he comes in looking for her he sees her behind me with, what I was told later, her holding back tears. He gets pissy and speed walks to me, at this point I want him to fuck up in front of a crowd so I antagonize his a little, as a few students notice and get a teacher's attention. He grabs me by the shirt and yells "what the he'll did you do?!" I didn't respond but I had a slight grin on my face not because I hurt her, that's the last thing I wanted, but to push him to fuck up and hit me and it worked. He shoved me to the ground and as I got up he kicked me in the ribs. He went for another but I was faster. I grabbed his foot and twisted until he fell then I started wailing on him, I blacked out after 2 or 3 punches. I came out of it as 3 officers, 4 security guards, and 2 teachers were trying to pull me off of him with the entire class watching. I let up and let them drag me away after I saw what I did. I let years of bottled up rage out on something petty.

3 months of anger management and psychiatric help later I was cleared to finish out my year at that school, to answer a question or two..no, not a single bully picked on me and yes..he lived. I was driven to school by a sheriff, and yes he walked in with me as a precaution, he parked and we started for the doors. I could hear them talking from outside then a slow silence started when they noticed me and an officer walking in the first set of doors, I tired so hard not to grin hahah, the security guard hesitated to grab my bag so he could check it thinking that I might snap again so I took it off and handed it to him and walked though the metal detector. He handed me back my bag and leaned in to say "I hope you're feeling better because that was the worst thing I've seen and I used to be security at a prison." I look at him and say "I'd like to hear what you saw I'm curious about what happened and so is all 7 of the therapists that helped me in the nut house." He nodded and said "at lunch." I walked on. The crowd parted like I was Moses parting the Red Sea as I walked through to my table, again I was trying to to smile or grin.

The cop knew I was better but I asked him to keep his hand on his gun as we walked though just in case someone got a stupid idea, he wouldn't go for the cuffing me until we got to the table idea, I made it clear that I didn't want any interaction with most of them. We walked to my table and I turned to the cop and shook his hand and thanked him for the ride, he nodded with a grin and turned around and headed for the principal's office to hand in some paperwork for me. I sat down like nothing happened 3 months ago at the end of the table took out a book and began to read when I hear someone sit down, Kerstin. She hesitated but said "hey." I replied with a smile "hi, how have you been?"

Yes I know I'm mind fucking everyone but she should know I don't care as long as they leave me the fuck alone.

She looks at me with confusion and a little bit of fear so I lean in a little and say "look, I'm aware of what happened 3 months ago and yes I've gotten help for it. I don't really remember what all I did or why for that matter but the important thing is i got help and they will leave me alone. Did you happen to see any of it?" She nods. I look into her eyes "I'm sorry you had to see that." After probably 35 or 40 seconds she says "wait...you shouldn't be. He was a bully and you stepped up, granted you beat the living shit out of him but he kind of deserved it." She leaned in closer "I can't confirm 100% but I heard he would smack her for talking back.." she stops realizing that I hate with a fiery passion woman abusers and looks at me worried. I look at her and say "that I wouldn't doubt but of your worried I'd go look for him and give him another beating..I know exactly where it is..still in the ICU and I think he got enough of a beating if he did smack her around so don't worry and calm down...I'm not THAT fuckin crazy.." I grin "..i think."

Rest of the day goes as such...awkward looks in every class and the hallways, not one teacher calls on me, silence as I walk by, and not one bully even looks at me...the only downside is Taylor can't look at me without tearing up. I feel bad for that and I tired to talk to her but she just walked away. The next couple weeks is pretty much the same shit different day except Kerstin and I have started dating, and continued until I moved 3 years later, I think if I never moved my life would be SO much different but I would've never met the next woman in my life that I fell for harder than both of them combined.

Hope you enjoyed this one let me know if you what a chapter 3.

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bluesdrummer420 · 8 years ago

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Here's a story about my relationship with love.

My first love was, and will always be, music. The first song I ever heard was Garth Brooks - Shameless. I grew up on 90s country, grunge, hard rock when hard rock was GOOD hard rock, and yes...pop. It's a guilty pleasure and god damnt it's a pleasure for SOME pop music. When I got older and started to really read into the meanings behind my favorite songs I always came back to my first song. "Shameless as a man could be you could make a total fool of me and I just wanted you to know I'm shameless.." that will stick with me for life.

When middle school came around I was borderline goth and a skater. I had the dirty jeans and a black band shirt that was ripped and held together by safety pins and a little bit of duct tape. I had the messy hair and fuck you attitude with a hard head and very few friends. At that time I was listening to Slipknot and Avenged Sevenfold a lot and I walk into school one day and see a new student, fucking gorgeous 5 foot 4 pale chick wearing a choker and ALL black. It didn't take long for her to find our table and he sat at the end ignoring us.

Well one day my buddy Tyler decided to venture down there and say hi, admittedly that's when he noticed she was sitting down there, she looked up at him and said something that I couldn't hear and he walked back to us with a look of disbelief on his face. He leans in to me and says "dude...go talk to her." I ask him why he replies with "because all she said was 'The fuck do you want? And did you just realize I was down here?' I didn't have a response so she said 'go away and I won't murder tour soul.' Dude...you're a creepy guy why don't you go talk to her?" I look at him and say with a smile and loud enough so she can hear me "go away and I won't disembowel your soul." He stares at me for a couple seconds and slowly walks away.

Out of the corner of my eye I see she's looking at me so I look over at her and say "What? Is the pentagram still on my forehead? Or do you just like staring at people?" Admittedly I had no fucking clue how to flirt, fuck I still don't, so that could've went 2 ways...good or more likely horrible. The next day I was sitting at her end of the table face glued to an Edgar Allan Poe book I may or may not have... liberated from the school library when I notice her walk in and slow down when she saw me. She sat down and grabbed the book from my hand and looked at it. She said "this is where it is. I've been waiting to check this out for a fucking week..when are you gonna be done with it?" I replied with a grin "it's Edgar Allan Poe probably never" she looks at me then shoves the book back to me and pulls out a book. "I'm sorry if that came off assholeish but this book keeps me sane when dealing with them" I motion to my friends down the table" today is an especially shitty day so I'm down here away from them...I figured you wouldn't talk to me so I can have some peace before class." She looks up from her book for a few seconds and says "shitty day?" I reply "yup" and return my gaze to The Raven.

I have her attention now. She closes her book and says "normally someone would explain why" I replied "Not to be rude but it's really not your business now if you don't mind this is one if my favorites" she asks "which one?" I reply "The Raven" and I look back down. The bell rings as I finish the last sentence so I get up and start to walk away but I stop and turn around and walk back to her. "I've read this at least 20 times now so here." I sit it infront of her and say "Just let the librarian know you have it now" and I walk away.

3rd period was my study hall, pretty much a 45 minute nap for most but a chance to listen to music in the very back for me, I just sat down and got my CD player out when I hear someone sit down a chair away from me. Now I had a certain reputation in this school after some brain dead jock pissed me off and I threw a table at him EVERYONE sat at least a table away from me. I look over and there she is. I look back at my CD player and get out my Slipknot Iowa album and I pop the CD in and skip to Get This then get out my binder I write down angry poems in, a nice therapeutic way to deal with anger issues instead of throwing a table at someone. I can see her glancing over more interested in my hate poems than the Edgar Allan Poe book. I slowly turn to look at her and she notices after a few seconds. "Sorry. I didn't mean to read I'm guessing your personal poems?" I grin and turn to a recent one then slide it over to her. The more she reads the more her eyes widen. I sit back in my chair and let the..soothing..sounds of Slipknot fill my ears.

When she finishes she slowly slides it back and takes out her composite note book, the small black and white note book with the hardish spines, and flips to a page them sits it infront of me. I read it with a straight face then look at her and say "Nice. But that one you read..isn't even close to the tip of the iceberg that is my mind." And slide her note book back to her. With shock on her face the bell rings.

Last period..gym. I'm last into the locker room. It's not because the thought of changing infront of guys creeps me out I didn't have a problem with it but the class I had was full of jocks that didn't necessarily fear me but thought my anger was just a show so they tempted me by shoving me into lockers or throwing their shoes at me. The gym teachers knew but didn't really care. I walk out into the gym and, yet again, there she is.

The teacher asks me if I wanted to participate today to which I replied "hell no" so I did my usual walk around the track until the bell rang. 3 or 4 laps in I was coming around to the doors that lead in from the basketball court and in she walks limping. I walk over to her with a chair and she says "thank you but he wants me to walk it off." I reply "I'm a skater trust me..sit down a minute." I look at her ankle and gently feel around then say "you need ice."

I carry her to the nurses office and sit her down and I wrap the ice bag in a towel and gently lay it in her ankle. She asks the nurse why she's not doing that and she replies "honestly he's better at it" I look up at the nurse and say "well when your worst enemies include gravity and the ground you tend to get good at simple first aid" the nurse laughs and says "you're in good hands just sit back and try to relax" then walks out of the room as the bell rings.

The next day she still has a slight limp as she walks over to us and sits down next to me. The group goes quiet. Tyler says "so...are you gonna introduce us to your new girlfriend?" I look at them then her them back and say "Taylor..assholes..assholes...Taylor." she giggles. Tyler says "so you're nice to him but not me when I just wanted to ask if you wanted to join us?" She replies "I like him more he's the nicest asshole I've ever met." A couple weeks go by and we're "dating."

About 2 months later we break up. Did you see that one coming? Neither did I. She was my first love, at least from the opposite sex, and it sucked when she ended it out of the blue. The next few days I spent outside by myself before the bell rang and I had to goto class.

That was just ONE kind of short story about the tragic story that is my love life and how it all started.

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