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bluetigerrecoveryllc · 7 years ago

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How to Deal with Betrayal When Your Partner Is Addicted to Porn

Porn addiction is a real problem these days, not just for individuals who are addicted to porn, but more so for the partners who have to deal with betrayal or feeling both sexually and emotionally betrayed because of it.

It is easy for the offending partner to label the other party’s feelings as a form of overreaction or even deny the addiction. To minimize confusion, we’ll talk about denial of porn addiction on a future blog. For this post, we’ll talk handling your own feelings and thoughts regarding dealing with feeling betrayed as well as coming to terms with your partner’s porn addiction.

How Do You Deal with Betrayal When Your Partner is Addicted to Porn?

This issue is more complicated than it seems because of so many factors that may not be on the same page for the partners involved. It might be difficult for the offending partner to accept the hurt feelings that their significant other harbors because they view their addiction and their relationship as entirely separate things. For someone hurting when a partner is addicted to porn, the pain usually stems from feeling unwanted as well as feeling like not being enough for the significant other, resulting in feeling betrayed.

Understand That Feeling Betrayed is Valid

It is common for those whose partners are addicted to porn to feel that they’ve been cheated on. Although some individuals (usually the porn addict) can compartmentalize between watching porn and having a relationship (often because of the porn phenomenon, people who are not as exposed to it may feel that porn is a replacement for perceived inadequacies because they have a different values system and perception as opposed to their porn addicted partner.

There are some who may feel guilty about feeling betrayed, thinking that feeling so is wrong and would try to rationalize their way out of it. Acceptance and self-awareness are key here. If something is causing you emotional distress, the first step is to find out what it is and acknowledge that it exists.

Why?

Because the sooner that you accept that you feeling betrayed and hurt is valid and real, the sooner you can uncover and fix all the little details that contribute to it. This is true whether or not your partner will seek treatment for porn addiction.

Deal With Betrayal and Its Lasting Effects

Dealing with betrayal, both the sexual and emotional form is an ongoing process. That is the reality. You won’t wake up one day and feel that everything is back to normal. Trauma healing takes time and you deserve all the time you need to empower you to deal with betrayal trauma.

Realize that it is okay to seek support from sex and addiction professionals who understand what you are going through. People who can also help your partner deal with porn addiction while assisting you so that you can better deal with betrayal on terms that work for you.Professionals who are on your side and willing to stand by you through the ups and downs of recovery from betrayal trauma.

The above is what we do at Blue Tiger Recovery! We will guide you each step of the way so that you can recover from betrayal trauma as best as you can. As for your porn addicted partner, we can have him or her sign up for our 12-day Intensive Sex Addiction Boot Camp Program. Call us at (888) 645-0180 today for any questions you may have. We’ll be happy to talk about how we can best help you!

The post How to Deal with Betrayal When Your Partner Is Addicted to Porn appeared first on Blue Tiger Recovery.

Source: http://bluetigerrecovery.com/how-to-deal-with-betrayal-when-your-partner-is-addicted-to-porn/

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bluetigerrecoveryllc · 7 years ago

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Internet Porn Addiction

In the age of the internet young people and teens are at a higher risk than ever to become addicted to porn. Due to oversaturation of information and entertainment at their disposal, unlike any generation before, today’s teens and young adults are at a higher risk than prior generations with what can be an unhealthy addiction to pornography. Teenagers who get caught up in viewing internet pornography run a risk of developing an unhealthy attachment to pornography; an attachment which can become on the order of an addiction as they move into their 20s. Additionally, some of the content on the internet has the potential to be mentally and emotionally damaging to younger people.

Teenagers and young adults can stumble on these images accidentally. Internet pornography is everywhere on the web these days. Since younger people—people who are growing up with the internet—see internet activity as a natural part of life, they will easily and inadvertently come across websites which contain graphic and potentially disturbing pornographic images. Without an understanding what they are a looking at, they will naturally infer the meaning and value of these images. This has the potential to distort their ideas of sexuality in general. It can lead to anxiety and depression and more far-reaching emotional and psychological issues.

Teenagers and young adults are still developing sexually. Their understandings of themselves and the complexities of sexual relationships are still forming. As these younger people become inured to internet pornography and the steady flow of images, they are in danger of acquiring a habit of being stimulated by this type of content and of developing a distorted understanding of adult sexuality. As this habit of finding gratification in internet pornography progresses into young adulthood, the reliance on internet pornography can become an addiction.

Like other addictions, a dependence on pornography creates a cycle of behavior in which people are unable to find sexual stimulation or gratification in anything other than the pornographic images they have habitually watched. They will require more exposure to these images in order to achieve the effect they desire. All of this operates in the same manner as alcohol with an alcoholic. Eventually, the use of internet pornography will become a preoccupation. These young people who have grown so used to looking at the images and films on the web will indulge in these activities to the exclusion of more important things. They will neglect family and friends in a manner strikingly similar to people addicted to drugs and generally isolate themselves in order to spend time on the internet looking at pornography.

The first order is to prevent this type of behavior. Monitoring what young people are doing on the internet is essential for parents today. As stated above, young people can find internet pornography even by accident. And it is important to keep in mind that younger people who are growing up with the internet are extremely adept at finding their way around it, hiding what they are doing, and covering up what they do. Taking an active role in what young people and teens are doing on the internet requires vigilance and attention. There are effective treatments for pornography addiction. Seeking treatment early and interrupting the problem of internet pornography addiction before it takes over the life of a young person is also a real option.

The post Internet Porn Addiction appeared first on Blue Tiger Recovery.

Source: http://bluetigerrecovery.com/internet-porn-addiction/

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bluetigerrecoveryllc · 8 years ago

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Guide to Sex Addiction Counseling

Addiction can come in many forms and it does not always have to do with substance abuse. Anytime a person compulsively pursues something in spite of the negative consequences it is having on their life it can qualify as an addiction. Sex is a natural part of dating, marriage and relationships but like anything else, it can be taken to the extreme and cause problems for people that lose control.

When someone becomes addicted to sex they will be consumed by their pursuit of it without being able to abstain, moderate or control their behavior. Like any other addiction, it is a progressive disease that becomes more problematic as time passes and behavior intensifies. Professional counseling and other treatment methods are usually necessary for a person to fully recover from sex addiction. There are plenty of options to talk to a counselor and get help if you are suffering from this problem.

Common Sex Addiction Signs Addiction can be quite a complex problem and it can be hard to tell when someone has developed an unhealthy and compulsive habit. If you are worried that you or someone you love might have sex addiction there are certain signs and symptoms that can help indicate that they might need help. Sex addiction is characterized by the inability to control the impulses to engage in sexual acts. This can mean that the person has sex more frequently and with more partners than they intend to. They might also need to engage in sexual behaviors more often and for a longer period of time as their addiction progresses. People with sex addiction also have compulsive problems with activities related to sex such excessive use of porn, cybersex, or voyeurism. They might spend excessive amounts of time thinking about, desiring and obsessing over sex. Eventually, as with any addiction, their behavior will start to interfere with daily responsibilities such as work, school or family obligations.

Sex Addiction Facts Most people are not very familiar with sex addiction and don’t understand what causes the behavior to occur. While there are many different factors that can lead to someone pursuing sex compulsively, one of the physical reasons is that sex (like most pleasurable activities) releases dopamine in the brain. Some people are more inclined to get addicted to the rush of dopamine that can occur from sex or other things like drugs, food or gambling. Sex addiction itself is often associated with different mental health issues. People with bipolar disorder often engage in risky sexual behavior during a manic episode and those with borderline personality disorder frequently have unsafe sex as part of a pattern of self-harm. There are a number of cases where people with sex addiction are victims of childhood sexual abuse and they repeat sexual behavior as an attempt to gain control over their early trauma.

Help from Sex Addiction Counseling Even though sex addiction can involve a lot of guilt and shame over their behavior, most addicts find it cathartic to talk with a counselor about what they have been going through. Before you go into counseling it is important to find a therapist that has plenty of education, experience and knowledge about sex addiction so that they understand your situation. A more general therapist or counselor may not have the skills necessary to deal with sex addiction so make sure to research their areas of expertise before beginning your sessions. Counselors can use different types of therapies but methods like cognitive behavioral therapy can be very helpful for this type of addiction. Counselors might also explore your personal history and address any childhood trauma, abuse or symptoms of mental illness. Talking about your behavior and past problems will allow you to find ways to resolve issues with the help of a professional.

How to Quit Porn Addiction Some people struggle with specific aspects of sex addiction such as the compulsive need to view adult material. Porn addiction can either be a component of sex addiction or its own individual problem that interferes with daily life. People often use porn as a way to numb their feelings and escape from problems that are affecting them in real life. In order to quit porn addiction you should find help from a counselor and take steps to minimize the amount of time you spend viewing adult images. Some people may be able to quit cold turkey but others might have to gradually find ways to reduce the habit. While sex is a natural and necessary part of life, porn is something that is best avoided if it is causing problems in your life. Some helpful skills are learning to identify your triggers and finding substitute activities that are more productive and allow to you cope with your emotions in a healthier way.

Help from Porn Addiction Treatment If you find it too difficult to quit viewing porn on your own or you are making very little progress then you might benefit from treatment. There are options for treatment programs available for people who have very severe addictions and need a more strict approach. Entering treatment can make it easier to completely abstain from porn use and begin the process of adjusting to abstinence. While in a treatment program, addicts will have no access to the type of websites or other materials that they normally are addicted to. They can benefit from daily counseling, group meetings and discussions that are all designed to educate patients about their addiction and teach them strategies to abstain. Addicts can also attend twelve step meetings which can be an ongoing type of therapy that they continue even after they complete treatment. Having enough support and professional help is crucial in quitting any addiction.

Quit Porn Addiction and Other Behaviors Often people who have issues with compulsive sexual behaviors do not simply suffer from one isolated problem. Many people have both a porn addiction and a sex addiction so that they also engage in frequent sexual activity as part of their illness. It can be complicated to treat multiple problems at once especially because the two have very different treatment approaches. People with porn addiction are typically asked to abstain from any use while with sex addiction patients in treatment usually must commit to a contract with themselves. People with sex addiction cannot completely eliminate sex from their lives but they must commit to avoiding problematic sexual behaviors and choose to engage in non-problematic behaviors moderately and appropriately. This agreement to change their behavior is known as their “sexual sobriety contract” and it is something they must adhere to while in treatment and continue to follow once they return home.

Drug Addict Porn Recovery Certain types of addiction can either be co-occurring meaning that there are two problems present in one individual or some addictions can become substitutes for another. This is why substance abuse and sex or porn addiction can become linked because when an individual has the tendency to become addicted they might suffer from multiple addictions. People with drug addictions may also struggle with compulsive sexual behavior and the two problems become intertwined with one behavior reinforcing the other. In other cases, an addict in recovery might struggle so much to stay sober from drugs that they end up developing another addiction such as issues with porn or sex as a kind of substitute. It is a common problem for people in recovery to trade one addiction with another because they find it difficult to combat their addictive tendencies. People with co-occurring addictions will need to receive treatment for both issues simultaneously.

Love Addiction Treatment People who struggle with sex addiction may not have relationships or love in mind when they are engaging in compulsive behavior. However, another type of problem known as love addiction involves an obsession with the rush of meeting someone new and the feeling of falling in love. People with love addiction focus on the early stages of a relationship and the excitement of infatuation, using the surge of neurochemicals they feel from love as way to escape their problems. Love addiction can cause people to lose control over their romantic fantasies as they become preoccupied to the point of obsession.

A love addict might also have trouble staying in long-term relationships and end up serial dating because they lose excitement about their partner. They might even be searching for another partner while in the midst of a relationship. With treatment people with love addiction can begin to understand the causes of their problem and find other ways to handle their emotional issues. Therapy will offer them a chance to examine their behavior and find ways to stay in relationships so that they can have more intimate bonds with their partner instead of constantly pursuing romantic fantasies.

Entering Sex Addiction Rehab There are many different subcategories when it comes to sex addiction but a good treatment center will be able to address any problem that an addict is going through. There are plenty of rehab facilities that offer residential treatment for people that are suffering from different kinds of sex addiction. If you are looking for a treatment center then you should consider calling and visiting a few different options to make sure that they offer the type of amenities and services that you need to address your personal issues. Doing some research prior to entering treatment can help you ensure that you are getting the kind of care you need in a place where you feel comfortable.

Every rehab has its own approach and a unique list of activities and therapies that they believe are optimal for treatment. The most important thing is that you feel the staff members are qualified and experienced and you are willing to comply with the facility’s rules and guidelines for recovery. Look into each staff member’s certification and education so that you can make sure they have knowledge and experience in treating people with sex addiction. Although it can be similar to other addictions in certain respects, sex addiction is a unique problem that requires expertise and training to resolve.

Improving Mental Health at Sex Addiction Treatment Centers Because there is not as much of an element of physical or chemical dependency as there is with drug abuse, much of the focus of treatment for sex addiction is on mental health and behavior. The underlying cause of sex addiction in most cases is psychological stress either from past trauma or issues like depression and anxiety. The goal in rehab is to improve some of the symptoms of any underlying mental health issues and help patients find healthier ways to cope with their emotional stress. People with various kinds of sex addictions also need to learn how to develop healthy relationships and improve their intimacy skills. They may have issues that are preventing them from being in a loving, monogamous and long-term relationship. They instead seek short term or temporary connections with people that satisfy a need to escape. In therapy they can learn how to communicate more effectively with people and start to develop healthy sexuality.

Managing Symptoms after Leaving Treatment It is not realistic or necessarily healthy for people with sex addictions to remain abstinent for the rest of their lives. Even if they spend a period of time abstaining from sex, eventually they will need to return to moderate and appropriate sexual behavior. After leaving treatment, former patients will need to continue to abide by their decisions regarding their “sexual sobriety”. That includes having healthier, more intimate relationships and being cautious about sexual activity. In order to stay on track it can be helpful for patients to continue attending twelve step groups or stay in follow up treatment so that they are less likely to relapse. It can take plenty of time and hard work to recover from an addiction, not matter what the issue may be. Spending enough time in treatment and staying vigilant after finishing a program can help you stay focused on your goals.

The post Guide to Sex Addiction Counseling appeared first on Blue Tiger Recovery.

Source: http://bluetigerrecovery.com/guide-sex-addiction-counseling/

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bluetigerrecoveryllc · 8 years ago

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Tips for Coping with Social Obligations in Sex Addiction Recovery

For any type of addiction recovery, certain situations can be full of triggers and you need to be prepared to handle any issues that come up in different scenarios. For people that suffer from sex addiction, social obligations can lead to a lot of stress as they try to cope with the many feelings and desires that can be brought up when they are at parties, weddings or other types of gatherings. People in recovery are used to structure and routine to help manage their symptoms and social obligations are often unpredictable situations that can cause problems.

For someone with a sex addiction, parties with alcohol could have led to reckless behavior and casual sex with strangers in the past. People in recovery from sex addiction need to learn strategies to help them deal with the types of social triggers that could potentially lead to relapse. Here are some tips for handling social obligations while still remaining abstinent

1. Make sure to keep close friends around

Feeling of loneliness can often trigger people with sex addiction so it is important to stay connected with people you know and feel comfortable around at a social gathering. If you have a few friends at a party you can always talk to them anytime you are feeling stressed or worried about the situation. If you are not going to know anyone at a certain party you can bring a friend with you who knows about your recovery and can be there to support you and hold you accountable.

2.Try bookending – calling someone before and after

If there is no way to get a friend to go with you to a party then a common strategy for people in recovery is to use “bookending” when they go into a potentially triggering situation. This means having a trusted friend, sponsor or family member to call before and after the party so that they know everything went smoothly. Talking to someone right before and immediately after can provide comfort, support and most importantly will keep you in check so that you are less likely to relapse.

3.Avoid parties with exes or old casual partners

Seeing someone who you might have had a sexual relationship with in the past whether it was a serious relationship or a casual hook up can be problematic. If you are invited to a party where you know an ex or prior partner will be attending it might be best to sit it out. If this is an obligation you can’t get out of then make sure to limit your time there and don’t engage with these people from your past more than necessary. Reconnecting with old partners can often lead to relapse so keep any conversations brief and cursory if possible.

4.Create boundaries before going according to your sobriety plan

People in recovery from sex addiction may be at various stages of sobriety and have already set certain boundaries for themselves. If you are in the early phases of recovery and are remaining completely abstinent from sex then you can create specific boundaries for parties such as avoiding flirtation or conversation with attractive strangers. For those in later stages of recovery who are open to dating you might want to have different limits that still allow you to meet a potential romantic partner but avoid casual sex. You will know what your triggers are and can create a specific set of boundaries to stick to before you go into a social situation.

5.Be aware of your emotional state, leave early if necessary

Although sex addiction involves compulsive behavior and acting on desires, beneath those actions there are actually deep seated emotions like anger, loneliness, depression or fear. If you are at a party and you are not remaining mindful of your emotional state you are more likely to act out as a way to cope with your feelings. Being able to identify your feelings and use strategies like deep breathing can help prevent them from becoming overwhelming. If you are having trouble dealing with your feelings then have an exit plan ready. Whenever you find a party is too stressful or too much for you to handle then you should always feel entitled to take care of yourself by leaving early.

The post Tips for Coping with Social Obligations in Sex Addiction Recovery appeared first on Blue Tiger Recovery.

Source: http://bluetigerrecovery.com/social-obligations-in-sex-addiction-recovery/

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