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Come here, puss.

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One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard

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my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

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perfect !!!

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y’all talk a big game about loving the Found Family trope, but have you ever personally burst into tears while watching 2000 Disney classic The Tigger Movie, in which Tigger realizes the existential horror and bone-aching loneliness of being “the only one” and starts desperately trying to contact other tiggers, building up his hopes only to have them crumble like like cheap honeycomb, but then he realizes that he already HAS a family right here with his friends in Hundred Acre Woods? huh? get on my level.

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Reblog if you've actually SEEN the movie "The Aristocats"

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scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet

peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,

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Miller: You were so drunk last night

Bellamy: I barely had anything to drink

Miller: You were flirting with Clarke

Bellamy: So? She’s my wife

Miller: You asked if she was married, then you cried when she said she was

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look @ these two idiots stressing eachother out

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Doctor Linda Martin: Therapist to the multiverse

Linda was finally learning to spot them when they came sauntering in her office. She wasn’t sure how the word had gotten out that she was a specialist, but it had and now her client list was growing exponentially. At least for a certain kind of client.

It had started innocently enough with adopted siblings, an easy case of fraternal rivalry or so she thought until the blonde haired one said; “Then he kidnapped our elderly father and lost him.”

“I did not lose him” the dark haired one snorted miming quotation marks in the air. “Odin went to Norway because he wanted to.”

“Odin?” Linda had asked, already feeling slightly sick and not really wanting an answer.

“Yes Odin Allfather, king of Asgard; our Dad, he died recently” The giant blonde one looked away, his brother patted him on the shoulder gently.

“I’m sorry for your loss” Linda, made a note, these boys would need grief counselling. “So Mr Odinson-”

“Call me Thor”

“Okay” She shook herself . ‘just another client, they are just another case’, she reminded herself while ignoring the incredulous scream constricting her chest, why was the multiverse doing this to her? She smiled brightly at the dark haired one “And what should I call you?”

“Loki, god of mischief”

“I’m the god of thunder” Thor interjected, a smug smile tugging at his bearded lips. Linda amended her notes to ‘serious competitive sibling rivalry’.

And that was how it started. Some of her clients were easier to deal with than others. The blonde thirty something vampire slayer with the complicated love life was just after some perspective, the teenager in the spiderman suit missed his Dad and struggled with his identity, but there were others who stretched her capabilities. The Doctor, for instance, who never seemed to show up with the same face for more than two appointments in a row and who had once brought a past Scottish version of his/her/ themselves to a session for ‘anger management’ strategies.

Then there was these two, Linda peered over her glasses at them in resignation. Dean was sat at the extreme end of the couch arms folded, pointedly looking away from Castiel. Who for his part just stared at him with pleading puppy dog eyes. “So how have things been going since our last session?”

“Jack killed my Mom” Dean growled.

“This would be your son Jack?”

“Yes,” Castiel interjected “But it wasn’t his fault he burnt off his soul killing the Arch-angel Michael and-”

“Okay,” Linda sighed and looked down at her notebook. Only three pages left that wasn’t going to be enough, she leaned down and picked up a fresh one. “lets start at the beginning.” These two were so tangled in denial, it was a wonder they managed to walk straight; straight Linda allowed herself a small chuckle, there was nothing straight about either of them. At least she could get some more pointers on how not to raise a nephilim. She wrote ‘don’t let Charlie burn his soul off’ in capital letters in the margin of her notes and circled it twice.

Linda was trying to eat her lunch when without even knocking, her newest client strutted in and threw his tall gangly, sunglasses wearing form on to her couch with an overly dramatic groan. She put down her bagel and glared at him. “Do you have an appointment?”

“do I need an appointment? I was told it was drop in on Thursdays.” Another English accent, he sounded familiar, looked familiar too.

“It’s Wednesday.”Linda narrowed her eyes, “Is that you Doctor?”

“I thought you were the Doctor?”genuine puzzlement.

“I am, forget it long day.” Linda stood up and rounded her desk, holding out her hand. Her visitor bowed deeply and kissed her knuckles, his skin was hot almost feverish.

“Anthony J. Crowley at your service.” He swept off his sunglasses, revealing lizard like yellow eyes. Linda wondered if he was trying to shock her. She sat down and picked up yet another new notebook. She wrote his name on the cover and then on the first page, ‘Anthony has an exhibitionist streak and a deeply performative nature’.

“So Anthony, why have you decided to come to therapy today?” he had put his sunglasses back on and was looking at her with his mouth open. “You are not my first demon.”

“I didn’t mean to fall, just hung around with the wrong crowd.”

“I um, have a problem with an angel” he leapt to his feet gesturing wildly “or rather I have a problem with my feelings for an Angel and I would quite like it to stop.”

“I see” Linda took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“You see? How can you possibly see? It’s hardly a common problem is it? Bet people walk in your office everyday saying; ‘Doctor help me, I’m in love with the Angel who helped me stop the apocalypse!’.”

“You would be surprised, sit down please.”

“Really?” Crowley asked. Linda nodded and wondered if perhaps she should set up some sort of group therapy session.

“Fridays at four o’clock suit you?”

“Yes I suppose.”

“Now tell me all about it.”

“Well, it all started in the garden of Eden…”

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and don’t you dare forget it

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I think it’s cute that thing humans do when they see a boat pass and the people on the boat wave at them and they wave back. For absolutely no reason. They don’t know each other they’re not trying to communicate anything other than “LOOK! I am on a boat!!! Hello!!!!” “I see you!!!! On the boat!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!!” in a genuine moment of wholesome human connection and excitement.

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what if chickens had front facing eyes

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where do TV shows get this idea that high school is constant drama, nothing even fucking happened to me in high school

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Bucky: I do not love anyone

Tony: Valentine’s day is coming up but I don’t think I’ll get any cards :(

Bucky: