blutonews

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/23

Bluto Ignored The Tiny Famous Man

Bluto was upset at streamer. Streaer say "Bluto what'd I do wrong to offend you?" streamer cry waa waa. Big oaf Bluto harrumphed his head to the sky "I don't talk to the likes o' yous no more and ya ain't to be my best man [either]", as streamer was meant to be at his wedding, "ever since you became addicted to amputations you been nothing but a head on the floor and your brain is metabolizing your ears". People at the scene reported seeing tears stream down his face. "Oh, but I can change"! Streamer pleaded, "Please let me be a flower boy and I can roll down the isle like a tumbleweed! First thing after the wedding, I'll buy a body made from tin cans and wear a barrel with suspenders"! There was a pause as Bluto thought, "Little man, I'll see that you do". He extended his hand for a handshake, forgetting that everything below the head of streamer was only an open wound.

The reporter at the scene cried at such a heartwarming moment of comradery.

[blutonews]

SEXUAL POPEYE REVOLUTION

I SEE YA BEHOLDIN ME OLDEN FEETS! D'YA LIKES IT?

POPEYE WIGGLED ALL FOUR OF HIS REMAINING TOES TO THE CAMERA DISJOINTEDLY WHILE WEARING A HAT THAT FIT MORE SNUGGLY THAN THE OTHER ONE OF FAME. HE SMOKED THE NORMAL PIPE THO. WELL IF YOU LIKE THIS FUCK YOU.

NA NA NANA NA

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/22

He Called The Man A Donkey, But Wasn't Quite Sightly Himself

While on a dat with Ms. Olive, Bluto went to mock the quaint navy sir, Popeye. Removing his photo from the phrame, he tore his visage in to the shape of a donkey but leaned back in laugher and looked silly with a side of scary. Ms. Olive was quick to abscond after because she scared of him now.

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/21

Bluto Gave A Terrible Handjob To The Somebody With a Long Weird Penis and They Jizzed Anyways

Bluto was always bad at handjobs but he loved doing them, so he was ecstatic when his newest hookup let him touch their weener! he tugged and pulled and twisted it painfully, this gave the long weird penis friction burn but they blasted gunk anyways making Bluto squeal and giggle with joy.

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/20

Nipple Rubbers Rule This World!

During the contest with no other goal than showing off, Bluto threw his axe to top that twerp, Popeye. When the axe hit the tree impressively, Bluto bit his lip in a smile and poked both thums into his nipples to further revel in joyous sensation.

drip

drip

drip

as a little milk came out!

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/19

Bluto Laughed At Popeye's Largest Thumb Yet

Today, Popeye walking into the association's club to have his association ritual to the club. Upon offering his hand for a shake to the club's heavily associated leader, Bluto, he was laughed at for his recently injured and swollen thuumb, parasiticly stealing blood from the other fingers to further swell. Bluto so saw a hand so stupid and laughed, hands claspededly.

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/18

Bluto Likes to Shake his Ass while He climbs

Bluto is a strange man! he likes to shake his ASS as he climbs like some sort of pervert. admire it while you can. because he wont be around forever you know....

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/17

A Certain Someone Got Shown Tickling Affection By The Great Maestro

Miss Olive was play her harp one day as playful practice for the great performance which she was tasked, it just so happens that she would be paired with Bluto of all maestros. Upon viewing her visage, he approached her while still managing the rest of the performers, the master of multitasking he is. Using his violin to orchestrate, he managed to fit in a few chin tickles, much to the delight of Miss Olive and surely to the concert-goers later that night.

[blutonews]

htps://www.blutonews.org/article/16

Bluto dressed Up like a Woman And abused him

Bluto abused him today while while being a woman and bluto was very pretty and then she wrapped him in chains and cinder blocks and made his body hurt. the chains were so tight that he stuck his butt in the air and bluto looked at his butt while being pretty

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/15

Bluto Made his teeth thin for no reason

bluto was wearing his favorite yellow hat when he saw nothing and there wasnt anything, but he still made his teeth thin for now reason, and his eyebrows got so close it looked like one eyebrow

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/14

Bluto Waggled His Butt a Bit Strangely

November 2nd, 2024

Bluto waggled his butt quite strangely today. He whipped it back and forth and up and down and around! He thrusted it back one final time and awaited the train to come flatten him and kill him badly.

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/13

Wooooooow

Oct 25th, 2024

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/12

bluto waited his turn

APRIL 30, 2024

bluto waoted his turn today when he was waiting in line and popeye was in front of him. he usually doesnt like pooeye but today he was really polite and touched his fingers together and smiled

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/11

Someone Fell Asleep Listening To Stories By The Fire

April 28, 2024

Bluto had a big glass of warm milk while spending time at Olive's after his big shift at work. He was hauling all sorts of heavy things off the boat and all his big muscles were so sore after, but he never backs down from a promise. He was deadset on seeing Olive after his voyage like he promised! Such a noble man! Olive decided it would be okay for him to stay later tonight and let him treat himself, so they had a hearty and warm dinner and she made his bed, which he was mighty thankful for. Bluto is beyond too tired to smile, but don't let that mask the pure joy he's feeling right now, and he plans to pay her back tenfold for such a good welcome back! Good night, Bluto!

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/10

bluto jumped into a fish bowl and started swimming

APRIL 27, 2024

bluto jumped into a fishbowl today to make a baby laugh and he started swimming. bluto jumped from the chair into the fishbowl and he started swimming but the baby didnt laugh. the baby kept crying.

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/9

Bluto's cool new teeth tatt's start a revolutionary practice!

FEB 28, 2024

Once was the age of wearing your heart on your sleeve, now comes the newfangled genius of wearing your words on your grin! Bluto's become quite the fashionista as of late and has been making daring stride in the industry. Here we see him sporting his new 'teeth tattoos' inspired by froot by the foot tongue tattoos and grils of ghetto fashion. The words depicted draw to his natural bravado and cordial nature paired to his brashly affectionate tendencies. Pulling it together with the fashionable ideation of the klondike gold rush, Bluto might just have what it takes to make it big, if he isn't big enough!

[blutonews]

https://www.blutonews.org/article/8

BLUTO was CAUGHT like a STUPIDBUG!

FEB 27. 2024

Bluto was at the fair doing his job as ringleader when Popeye needed to take a break, Bluto happily stepped in to take his place as strongman. Popeye should have been thankful as Bluto is very much so built for the job, but he just couldn't stomach being shown up by someone so strapping! His rebuttal was severe and fierce, launching Bluto into the air and then catching him in a jug. WHAT AN IDIOT I HATE HIM PLEASE HELP US GET BLUTO OUT WITHOUT HURTING HIM