blvebeary

[blvebeary]

while she may intentionally ignore the signs, seolran is quite good at picking up people’s feelings—it’s a talent she’s honed especially over the past two years from observing her peers. his shy smile and sheepishness remind her that (sometimes) her personality can be a bit much.

the yeonchella air has left her feeling more docile (considerate), so she’s mindful to turn her excitement down a notch. also, it is probably best that she conserves her energy for the rest of the day. the last thing she wants is to crash before she can see the top three acts she’s been dying to see.

“alright,” she says, significantly more calm compared to her previous statements moments ago. “i’ll just sit like this.” seolran relaxes her shoulders, sinking back further into the chair. her hands are clasped together in her lap. however, they don’t stay connected that long. she lifts them up to wave off his concern for being a slow artist. she doesn’t mind waiting longer if it ensures that she gets a cute memento.

“it’s okay, you can take your time. i don’t mind waiting if it means the caricature turns out cute. also, i’m not in a rush right now.” she’s not entirely telling the truth—she has to meet up with reiko in an hour, and she does want to grab a bite before the concert. tut one little white lie never hurt anyone. “i’m ready when you are,” she adds as an afterthought.

she allows their conversation to be consumed with silence for the next minute or so, despite the burning urge to say something. as a cheerleader, she’s used to having multiple pairs of eyes on her at all times, but there’s just something unsettling about being gazed at when all she is doing is sitting. after another minute, seolran decides to break the stillness. She trusts that he will tell her to stop speaking if he truly needs her to remain quiet so that he can maintain his focus.

“so, how have you been?” she questions, going the small talk route to make it easy on both. and because she can’t resist her urge to snoop for stories for aulait constantly: “has anything interesting happened to you lately?”

jiyul has, thus far, managed to avoid having to draw caricatures for the art club booth, which is a bit of a miracle. to be fair, he's in a lot of clubs and has been pretty busy with other aspects of the festivities.

today, however, he is not so lucky. it was really only a matter of time, and he intends to skip out of the booth early today to see baekyun and baek yerin, so it's really only fair, too. the booth is busy, and before he knows it they're pulling up another easel and tagging jiyul in.

he probably could say he really didn't want to do it, but this is jiyul, who can't say no to much of anything. so he takes a seat in the chair, smiles, close-lipped and polite as their "customer" sits down, and then turns his attention to the blank canvas in front of him.

he recognizes seolran, of course. he remembers her name, too, but he doesn't bring it up because he figures it's not relevant and she probably doesn't remember him.

much to his surprise, she does remember him, though. he offers a more sincere, albeit shy, smile in response. "yes," he replies, soft-spoken as always. "seolran...?" now that he says her name aloud, he's worried that he's wrong. no, it's fine. even if he is wrong, mistakes like this happen all the time. surely she won't think too badly of him if he got her name wrong.

"ah, um..." he looks from the canvas to the girl and back again, trying to determine what will be easiest for him to draw. "whatever is most comfortable for you, i think...i'm...kind of a slow artist." he smiles sheepishly. hopefully she doesn't expect to be in and out too quickly. he can't take too long, though. and she says adorable, clearly expecting something impressive.

i'm not really that good, he wants to warn her, but he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and feel obligated to reassure him that he's probably fine. and he is probably fine. he's just not nearly as artistic as his brother or mother. slightly above-average at best, he'd say.

"i'm really just drawing you from the neck up, so, however you want to sit is fine," he elaborates. he'll work with whatever she gives him.

[blvebeary]

there’s a brief moment when her cheerful mask falters, gaze turning sharp with annoyance from being (half) ignored. it’s a pet peeve of hers: not being acknowledged. however, the sharpness dissipates as quickly as it occurs. putting herself in his shoes (a decision somewhat uncharacteristic of seolran), she can understand why he would need some time to orient himself. it must be unsettling waking up in an unfamiliar apartment. not that she has experienced it herself—she doesn’t make getting wasted a habit of hers.

she brushes off his thanks with a soft, yet unamused hum. it’s not like she could have left him outside, banging on her door for the entire night. not when it meant she would get shit for bothering the rest of the floor. she supposes she could have just called hyunwoo herself, to get him to drag mouse to his apartment, but she wasn’t even sure if he would be awake that late.

she sets the blender down, using her now free hands to gesture at him to take a seat at the (pink) barstool across the counter. “so, what do you remember about last night,” she questions, as she busies herself with preparing his drink. (twelve ounces of liquid, slightly sweetened, exactly seven ice cubes, a glass cup, and a glass straw—the ultimate drink aesthetic of those social media influencers.) she slides the cup over to him once she’s finished, bringing her own drink up to her lips to take a small sip.

“well, regardless of if you remember anything or not, it seems like you had fun,” she says. her eyes burn from exhaustion, but she doesn’t comment on it. after a brief pause, she turns away from him, reaches into one of the drawers, and pulls out a protein bar. “here, some sustenance.” she says as she slides it over to mouse as well. she’s not giving it to him out of the kindness of her heart. as if the blender waking him up was not petty enough, she’s actively pawning off the flavor she hates the most to him.

seolran’s voice is loud, but faraway somehow. mouse feels like his head is underwater as he tries to make sense of what’s happening. he’s starting to put the pieces together, however strange it still seems to him that he’s in seolran’s apartment of all places. on top of that, he’s pretty sure he’d texted hyunwoo. he almost remembers seeing hyunwoo last night as he’d stumbled in and drifted off to sleep. then again, he'd really outdone himself last night - the more he thinks, the less he remembers hyunwoo and the more he remembers... desperation?

half-ignoring seolran, though he had heard everything she said, he opens his phone. he checks his texts; to his surprise, he had texted hyunwoo asking if he could crash at his place, but the text never went through. either way, he would've been an unwelcome guest. he's not sure if it's better or worse that he'd shown up at seolran's instead.

"um, i don't know... what to say," he admits belatedly, sliding his phone back into his pocket. admittedly, this is a new low for him - recently, it seems he's been subconsciously conducting an experiment on just how far he can push his luck.

the whirring of the blender stops, allowing room for a ringing silence to take its place. he approaches the kitchen, one unsure foot in front of the other.

"thanks for... letting me in...?" though he isn't certain how much control she'd really had in the situation. she could have called the cops on him, though, so he's grateful that she hadn't. he doesn't say as much in case he's viewing the disturbance as a worse situation than she is.

he should leave. he should turn down her offer and get the hell out of her apartment. he knows that he should, but he's staring wide-eyed and hopeful at the blender. he's never really been one to turn down a handout.

"yes please on the matcha, though."

[blvebeary]

his comments over the phone have the unintentional effect of calming her frightened heart—not because they contain heartfelt words of comfort. rather, she feels her panic quickly replaced with annoyance and disbelief. leave it to eun jeongmin to be a killjoy and know-it-all. (still, the part of her that love learning files away this cool fact in the back of her mind.)

rolling her eyes, even though she knows he can’t see her, she replies, unamused. “thank you for the information, you encyclopedia. however, this must be a new spider who moved in, considering i’m always at home and awake at this time.” she pulls the phone away from her ear, clicking on the phone screen so she can see the time. only a minute has passed since she called him, but she finds herself impatient. the faster they deal with the spider situation, the faster they can go back to their regular program of not acknowledging each other.

“don’t be greedy now, i’m not made of money.” it’s not technically a lie; her parents fund her lifestyle, but it’s not as though they give her free rein with their riches. “unless… you’re saying that because you want to spend more time with me one-on-one at a fancy restaurant?” she jests, turning up the sweetness in her voice to annoy him. serves him right for wanting more from her. she already said please, is that not enough? she’s about to make another annoying comment, but she’s interrupted a knock on the door. hanging up before he can respond, seolran rushes to the door (of course, not before glaring up at the spider.)

“thank goodness you’re here.” she says, immediately after seeing him. “the little monster is directly above my bedroom door.” she drags him inside, using her free hand to point to the spider.

there’s very few things jeongmin values more than routine. the peaceful order of planning things beforehand and having them occur in the same way you expected is one of the simple pleasures of life, it’s truly a shame some people are too disorderly to ever experience it. turning the page of the book he’s reading, he takes a small peek at the watch on his wrist— a real analog watch, not those ben 10 looking contraptions people have the nerve to call watches—, and hums, low and pleasant, as he feels his day coming to an end. soon enough, he’ll put the book away, do a final revision of the things he got done and the things that he will do the next day, and finally get some sleep, just as his calendar dictates. another successfully planned and wrapped day.

another thing about jeongmin is that his phone is almost always on do not disturb, and he does not share his focus status. only his family, some friends, the mail app and calls from saved contacts are set up to bypass the notification silencing, the rest can definitely wait. 

it’s finally when the call comes in that jeongmin finds his peace disturbed. putting his book face down on his bedside table, he reaches over to grab his ringing phone, face frowning as he reads the name of the person calling him. what ever could im seolran possibly need from him that she can’t talk her way into obtaining somewhere else?

listening to her, jeongmin gets up from the bed, thankful he hadn’t changed out of his outside clothes yet. “you know, i recently read that spiders tend to memorize your routine and only come up when they know you’ll be out,  isn’t that so considerate of them? maybe, you should ask yourself what are you doing wrong that you’re going out of your routine right now. it’s not really the spiders fault that you’re out of schedule, is it?” he lightly taunts her as he grabs the things he needs before heading towards her dorm. “i’ll be there but you owe me now. and i’m not interested in those sweet corn meal vouchers you’re offering to whoever finds your water bottle.”

[blvebeary]

cool down to yuri (@ololiuhkui)

the cold water bites against her bare skin. legs submerged in the pool, she lets it wash away all the excitement and exhaustion of the past three days. she’s tired, cold, and a little on edge, but her mind is wired from one too many matchas to go home and sleep. so she sits on the pool’s ledge, taking in the relative peacefulness of the dying afterparty. for once, her mind is not on paying attention to her peers, trying to find moments where they slip up so she can feature their actions on her blog. (to be fair, she’s already gotten enough potential stories about yeonchella to last a month.)

seolran just wants to sit here, by herself, and dissociate from the world.

a loud shout breaks through her daze, a hot flash of annoyance coursing through her veins. the voices echo into the night, and seolran finds herself confused (and intrigued) when she recognizes both voices. one is more familiar than the other, but she supposes your brain does not automatically purge the vestiges of long term friendships after they end. she has half the mind to let both parties continue to make a fool out of themselves by publicly airing out their dirty laundry, but her curiosity prevails.

after drying off her legs, she slowly makes her way to the pair, craning her ears to listen to the argument more carefully. it’s the name agatha, and an accusation of a kiss that catches her attention, and she has to make an effort not to laugh manically when she realizes the issue at hand. the selfish part of her does not want to intervene, happy to continue listening to the public crash out, but she’s not entirely evil. (though she's sure some people might disagree with this statement.) the other part of her can't help the feelings of sympathy that well up when she listens to the genuine anger and pain in yuri's voice.

she sighs quietly, shaking her head for getting involved, before stepping out of her hiding spot. seolran brings her hands together, the clap echoing in the hallway to get both of their attention. she wears the mask of a concerned bystander as she slips between the pair to divert their attention off of each other.

“now now, you both. don’t you think this is a conversation you should be having in private?” she jerks her head to the direction of the pool, where she knows people are still lounging around. her eyes flicker over to yikyung, gaze expressing her disappointment in his actions. but it doesn’t stay on him for much longer. she turns her body to face yuri, lips curving up into an empathetic smile. “yuri, why don’t i walk you back to your apartment?”

[blvebeary]

she eyes the younger quietly, before giving a slight shake her head at sora's denial of her offer. her shoulders lift into a shrug, but she does not say anything more to push the topic. still, she can’t help the slight amused smile that makes it way onto her lips. seolran is not entirely sure what she has done to garner so much attention, or perhaps, admiration, from the younger, but she’s not complaining.

she takes the nods as a cue to begin walking, letting herself take the lead during the walk. she does not mind the silence between the two of them—choosing to spend the newfound peace mentally organizing everything she had to do for the next couple of days. she has both a physical and virtual calendar, but engraving it into her brain does not hurt either.  

“i’m partial to corn, so i enjoy most items on their menu.” she answers, humming softly afterwards. “the corn cheese bun is good… oh, and their curry pan. i don’t really drink coffee though, so i get their corn matcha latte. ah, they also have this really good watermelon ade during the summer. it's fresh watermelon juice and sparkling water. not many ingredients, but super tasty” she adds as an afterthought.

once they reach the café, seolran holds the door open and uses her head to motion the younger to answer. she lets out a small, pleased smile when she sees how many empty tables and chairs there are.

perhaps the hype died down, or perhaps most people left to attend to their dinner plans. whatever the reason, seolran is not going to complain about not having to stand around and wait for a table to open up. turning back to sora, she gestures to the empty seating. “shall i go pick out a table for us?” her nose crinkles as she has to push down the uncomfortable feeling that someone younger than her is buying her drink. however, she bites her tongue, not in the mood to go back and forth between who should pay. “do you have a preference on where you want to sit, though?”

as soon as her invitation was accepted, her face lit up and she clapped her hands together quietly, shaking her head and waving her hand around with a pfft escaping her, “it’s no big deal for me to treat you out, seriously!” her tone had become far more confident and positive than it was before, her posture standing taller and her smile genuinely reaching her eyes.

“sweet corn café?” she echoed, thinking for a moment about which café it actually was before nodding her head, navigating to the place in her mind. she had been there many times during her first year attending yeonhwa — she didn’t even like their coffee, only agreeing to go there since seolran wanted to. she nodded again and let seolran lead the way to the café, her mind already trying to think of ways to entertain the older during the ten or so minute walk.

“don’t stress over buying me something next time” next time. she insinuated there was a next time. sora’s smile didn’t fade the more she thought about it, the feeling of acceptance making her dopamine skyrocket. “i’m sure we can buy for ourselves or something, i don’t want to take too much from you.”

a silence fell between them as sora trailed behind seolran, unconsciously making sure not to speed up or take longer strides to match the older’s pace.

“so, do you have any favourites on the menu? i haven’t been there for a good few months,” she asked as they got closer to the café, already stressing in her head over what to order and fearful that she would choose something that might bring some sort of judgement upon her.

the overthinking came so naturally to the younger that she wasn’t even fazed by it in her own mind, finding her reasoning behind each action completely logical — seeing the desire for your senior’s approval as a given, not just for her, but for everyone.

her eyes landed on the sign of the café as they approached it, and she let out a mental sigh of relief at the lack of the crazy crowds she’d seen in recent weeks — a busy café only meant a bad experience, and she needed wanted seolran to have a good time. it was necessary (to her, at least). next time wouldn’t happen if they didn’t enjoy themselves, and she already felt like she was taking up far too much of the woman’s time just by asking her out to coffee.

it’ll be fine. all she had to do was be herself — right?

[blvebeary]

there’s a method to her madness. ask silly questions, get a baseline of their behavior, then observe for moments when their baseline changes. she’s quick to pick up the slight wince, and the pausing when the conversation breeches on a topic that is not the most comfortable. she nods slowly as he speaks to signal that she is listening. (perhaps she’s listening a little too carefully.) but no matter, seolran merely files these topics away in the back of her mind.

“yes, truly. i think you are yeonhwa’s superhero. i’m surprised they didn’t throw a gigantic celebration when you decided to come here.” she says, tone perhaps a little too saccharine. she claps her hand together in excitement, shooting him another faux sweet smile. “they probably should have, i mean... you helped us beat our sworn rival. but, maybe i’m just being biased because i’m such a huge fan.”

she readjusts her body, leaning forward in excitement at his question. call her arrogant, but one of seolran’s favorite things to do is talk about herself. the shift to asking her about her dreams and aspirations has her mind racing with so many thoughts that she can’t contain. “oh heavens no,” she says, raising an eyebrow at his suggestion as though it were silly. “i mean, nothing against people who have those aspirations, but that’s so… typical. i want to be a social media doctor.” there’s a brief pause as she reconsiders her words. social media and doctor aren’t usually used in the same sentence. “i don’t mean those people who make armchair diagnoses on the internet,” she says, her tone suddenly serious. “i want to be a practicing doctor who has a social media presence to provide accurate information about diseases and actively dispel misinformation.”

she straightens her posture and blinks at him expectantly. “you’re allowed to clap out of amazement.” she’s only half joking. “what about you? what does the future have in store for you? other than continuing your career, i mean. but fifty years down the line, what do you see yourself doing? and what’s going to be your legacy?”

once done asking his questions, he starts to poke lazily at his leftovers with his fork. but despite his body language suggesting negative interest, his ears are active and listening, and eventually he stops to give her his attention again. it’s the word ‘sibling’ that seizes it; his eyes wince for the briefest second as he can’t help but remember his own. and then quickly replaced, perhaps forcibly, with an amused smile because he thinks she certainly does give off ‘only child energy.’

the smile fades away in confusion at her next response. four what? his brows raise and lips part in desire to clarify, but she’s already moved on to give her next answer, which really turns out to be a question for him in return. is he having fun? “umm… no? not really?” seemingly gives her an honest response for once, but perhaps he’s lying to himself to some degree. there’s not much time for more introspection, because it’s onto the next.

“genie. would top the charts, even if it were released today.” answered with zero hesitation and a single firm nod. “and please, no. you really shouldn’t be so kind,” he rejects with a sarcastic tone of formality, eyeing the water bottle with a whole lot more suspicion now that he knows what it might truly cost.

and then at last, a question that manages to shut him up for a few seconds. in contrast to the rapid back and forth that preceded it, the few seconds feel like an eternity — at least it does for him. “i— well— babies don’t choose anything.” it’s a weak attempt at an escape dribble, and he knows it too; but it’s not fully fluff. there was never an affirmative ‘choice’ he made to play, per say; he just never chose to quit. and maybe that wasn’t much of a choice either. “some people are born into fates. i accepted mine. very superhero of me, i know.” the sarcasm lives on, but his tone is somehow more serious at the same time. “but sure. i guess i’d do it again. hopefully i'm better next time." his last statement is vague, but truthful in more ways than one; not that she'd know. he just wants to move on.

"well what about you? any grand hopes or dreams? maybe one of those kids here that came out of the womb wanting to be a nobel laureate or supreme court justice?"

[blvebeary]

even the fiery and exhaustion-inducing sun beating down on her cannot stop the pure glee that courses through her body as she listens to reiko speak. (of course, there’s also annoyance in finding out just how many women get stuck in the trap of a perpetual manchild, but that is another issue.) she resists the urge to giggle, pushing it down, and leaning over to glance at reiko's screen. she hums softly, a sign of appreciation to her friend's hard work piecing together all the connections. though she's not sure it can be heard over the hustle and bustle of the crowd.

moments ago, she had been bored (and tired) out of her mind, searching for something, anything interesting that she could feature on aulait. and now she has what could be a premier story. (in a couple of hours, she'll take this statement back, but for now, seolran feels confident that the situation is juicy enough.) “i’ve seen his ex around, and that’s how i know she’s too good for him. but i don’t know really recognize the new girl.” her gaze flickers back to the pair, eyes squinting as though it would help her get a more thorough look.

she subtly shakes her head, lips twisting downwards into a slight grimace. truly, she wishes for the best for his ex and this new girl whose heart he will most likely break in a couple of weeks. meeting her friend's gaze, she begins to speak, tone repulsed. “you’re right, though. he thinks he’s being strategic, but anyone with working eyes can tell he’s just using her to make his ex jealous.”

she lets out another scoff, discreetly giving the male one final look before turns her nose up at him (literally and figuratively.) “men would rather play with the feelings of other women than take accountability for their mistakes in a relationship. it’s so… just, gross.” she pauses, expression brightening as though she had an amazing idea. “wait… should we try submitting this to aulait?” seolran questions, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear mischievously. (as though she wasn’t the owner behind the account.) “i feel like cha wouldn’t be afraid to put him on blast, and maybe it’ll get this new girl to dump him and convince his ex to not to take him back again.”

"serial cheater with a saviour complex," reiko confirms, tapping her nail against the rim of her cup. the lemonade is still too sweet, saccharine even with the splash of soju she'd tipped in to flatten the taste, ice diluted to nothing. her eyes stay fixed ahead — as if he could hear what she's saying, like the words travel on instinct alone — and sure enough, there he is, five people down the line, hands shamelessly planted on some new girl's waist like she's the first one who hasn't caught him lying.

she slips her phone out like it's evidence, thumb gliding with the ease of someone who's done this before. (and frankly, she has.) the lock screen flickers away on command, giving way to a screenshot pulled from the archives of her photo album — a web of names and coloured nodes, petty gossip disguised as clean design. "here. he's in the red zone. pretty sure that girl he's with now isn't even on the chart yet." manicured fingers pinch to zoom out, eyes skimming the familiar sprawl of tangled connections. "look at all these lines between him and the biomed girls." a beat. then she glances over with a spark of revelation, catching her friend's gaze like she's just cracked something wide open. "oh my god, have you seen her in any of your lectures before?"

lips pursed, reiko cranes slightly forward, as if proximity might help make sense of the spectacle. "tell me i'm not crazy for thinking this reeks of strategy," she adds, twisting the screen towards seolran again like it proves a hypothesis. "i mean, if you were trying to look like you've moved on from your goddess ex, why would you choose to go for someone exactly like her? same hair, same major. she also looks like she shops exclusively in apgujeong and drinks those erewhon smoothie dupes after pilates." the corners of her mouth twitch, unimpressed. she looks up again at the couple in question, weighing the scene as if she could divine intent from posture alone: rebound, performance, or something messier in between. "he's not even subtle about it. he's just hoping word gets back to her." a sharp exhale leaves her lips, all air and disbelief. men. how deeply, endlessly disappointing, yet always so easy to read.

it's not their first rodeo, people-watching like it's a spectator sport. there's something almost ritualistic about it — the slow scroll through other people's choices, the shared notes passed between cups of iced matcha and eye-rolls they don't bother hiding. seolran's the only one she trusts to get it without needing the disclaimers. at least here, pressed shoulder to shoulder in the dense, sun-slicked current of glitter-dusted undergrads and lukewarm cocktails in the name of school spirit, the two of them feel like the smartest people in the room.

[blvebeary]

she’s too shameless and stubborn for her own good. doesn’t like being indebted to people either. if jinyoung agrees, she knows she’ll begrudgingly feel the need to repay him. though, she supposes that’s how favors and friendships work. perhaps she should actually get him the customized owala? she made the suggestion in jest during their first real conversation, but maybe she should make it a reality. assuming he actually agrees. after all, what better sign of a blossoming friendship than to have matching water bottles?

she continues her act (making sure to pointedly blink up at him innocently) as his gaze shifts to the couple behind them and back to her. her expression doesn’t even falter at his initial no. there’s a quick flash of panic the moment the stage light dims, but the shrouding darkness allows her to fall back into her default blank expression. and maybe she does mentally roll her eyes when the screams and cheers from the crowd begin. they better not scream her ears off while woodz sings.

her eyebrows furrow when he bends down to meet her eye, and she instinctively leans back though there’s not much space for her to do so without bumping into the group behind her. she has to push down the urge to smile gleefully when he eventually agrees to the favor. part of her wonders if he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart, or if she’s annoyed him enough to wear him down. but now is not the time to ponder over the issue.  

seolran bends down, wrapping an arm around his neck and leans to speak directly into his ear. “drop me, and i will take you down.” it’s a good thing that he can’t see her expression, because she’s actively shooting daggers at him in annoyance. “besides, it says more about your athletic ability if you do. you wouldn’t want rumors that you can’t even lift a forty-six kilogram girl to make its way around campus, would you?” she leans back, ready to actually climb onto his shoulders, but she pauses. after a quick second, she leans back in to mumble begrudgingly, “and thank you… i appreciate you doing this.”

as per usual, she doesn’t wait for him to reply. seolran stands up and quickly swings her leg over his shoulder. once she’s settled, she taps the side of his arm, to signal that he can stand up. while she is the flyer for her team, it is a little unsettling being up in the air, but she quickly acclimates to the new height. seolran lets out a small, pleased smile when she realizes she really can see everything up from here. tilting her head downwards, she taps on his arm once more.

“are you doing okay down there? your knee okay?” she asks, tone concerned. she might be a little mean, but she’s not that evil. if giving her a shoulder ride was going to genuinely bother his knee, she would climb down. she’d probably complain and be unhappy about having a blocked view of the concert, but she wasn’t going to aggravate an injury for yeonhwa’s star football player.

the sweetness in her voice gives him a brief sense of respite, as in that fleeting moment, he believes he has successfully diffused the ticking time bomb ahead of him. in fact, he feels rather proud for having walked the fine line between life and death and making it out unscathed. but then he figures her mannerisms might be… maybe a little bit too sweet, as if she’s laying bait? his eyes narrow slightly as he awaits the plot twist that must be coming at the end of all this extra bubble wrapping with talk of ‘friendship’ and ‘favors.’

and aha, there it was. his gaze follows hers to check what she’s talking about; then flips back to her to check whether she’s actually being serious. it seems like she is. he shakes his head at her in disapproval, as if she’s just asked him to kick a puppy or something; but in a strange way, he also finds her complete dedication to the cause somewhat impressive. still, that doesn’t make the notion any less outlandish. “no” is his immediate response, said with a stinging bite that roughly translates to ‘what the fuck?’

he truly is revving up to deliver a tirade of follow up reasons behind the initial, firm no — but suddenly the stage lights dim, signaling the imminent start of the set. time really does fly when you’re busy provoking people having fun. the crowd around them shriek and scream, and there’s no way he’s going to be able to push back with any semblance of a logical argument. and somehow he feels like if he doesn’t do anything at all, that might be the end all to any sapling of a friendship they are planting. not like he cares or so he claims. also, she did say ‘please’… which from the way the word rolls off her tongue, doesn’t feel like she says all too often with such genuine sincerity and desperation.

in the brief moment before the storm, he bends down to her eye level, yelling slightly to make his hasty and rugged disclaimer message heard. “ugh, okay. fine. you’re welcome. but if you fall, it’s your fault. and don’t you dare bring me down with you. i will drop you.” how comforting. with that, he turns around and lowers himself more so that she can perch herself onto his shoulders. he hopes for the best but absolutely is preparing for the worst.

[blvebeary]

break time, true crime to emi (@nonadjective)

it's her current hyper fixation. she thinks it might stick around for a while too.

perhaps watching gruesome true crime youtube videos at yeonchella (the anime club x sweet corn café booth, to be exact) is not very appropriate. but seolran could not resist. and if she decides that she wants to watch true crime on her break, well, that's her prerogative. she has been genuinely busy preparing for the festival, so she hasn’t been able to watch the latest rotten mango episode. (and if part of that the preparation for yeonchella was complaining about having to participate in the kissing booth... well, that's nobody's business.)

she’s taken some precautions to make sure she’s not disrupting anyone with the video she’s watching. for one, she deliberately chose a table that was slightly farther away from the others. she has a single earbud, so no one is bothered by the not-so-pleasant audio of the episode. (she probably looks weird only having one in, but she also needs to make sure she can hear if her cheer team members go hunting for her.)

seolran stares at her ipad with intensity, eyebrows furrowed in judgment at the criminal the host was describing. she’s too focused on the subtitles that it takes her a couple of seconds to realize that someone is speaking to her. seolran takes the earbud out, effectively pausing the video. she turns her head to observe the nearby tables, trying to determine if someone was actually speaking to her or if she was imagining a voice. there’s confusion on her face, but the expression melts away when her gaze lands on the figure sitting at the next table over.

“hi?” seolran says, after a couple seconds of silence. “did you say something to me? i couldn’t hear you that well because i had an earbud in.” as proof, she holds her hand out, revealing the aforementioned earbud resting in her palm.

[blvebeary]

cat and mouse backdated: may 2025 to hwaryun (@knightguilt)

the truth is, when they first met, seolran thought he was unremarkable—to the point of almost being forgettable. (her memory isn't that bad though.) perhaps she was too preoccupied helping out at an orientation for a department she wasn’t even part of, but her mind only registered him as just another upcoming first-year. someone she had to give a tour to, answer whatever questions he had, and then send him on his way. he was but a blip on her radar.

she never imagined that a little over a year later, he would be the president of the student body government.

it’s admittedly an impressive feat. naturally, she (and, presumably, the rest of the student body) was curious about how he got to his position. fortunately for her, she didn’t even need to develop an elaborate ruse to get closer to him. hwaryun seemed a little too sociable for his own good, because all it took was for him to stop her for a quick chat one time for her to wrangle a hangout out of him.

seolran takes a small sip of her barley tea, shooting the male sitting across from her a small smile. “order whatever you want, the meal is on me today,” she says, waving her hand in the general direction of the menu. she leans back into the chair, picking up her phone from the table and replying to a text to hide the fact that she’s secretly observing him. after a few seconds, she places the phone down onto her lap and waves the server over to place their order.

“so, really. how are you doing?” she asks once the two of them are settled. her arms are crossed, but her overall demeanor is relaxed. she tilts her head, gaze directly on him as if to show that he has her undivided attention. “are you feeling stressed? i imagine it’s not easy being president of the student government.”

[blvebeary]

she really is trying her best to stay focused and present in the conversation, but it seems like the moment she rested her body against the wall, all the fatigue from the day came crashing down on her. she gives the younger a wry smile and a small nod, indicating that she too was coerced into coming to the party.

you would think the two of them are old enough not to give in to peer pressure, yet here they are.

she blinks sleepily and has to hold in a yawn when jiahn mentions her previous nap. what she would give to take one right now (though, it probably would end up being multiple rem cycles rather than a small nap). she’s torn between sustaining her body with sleep or food, but she pushes those thoughts away to reply to the younger.

“yeah, i did. though, i came towards the end of dpr live’s set.” she scratches the back of her head, her voice tinged with sheepishness. “i’m not really familiar with his music, so i mostly came to see epik high.”  

seolran pulls out her phone from her bag, letting a quiet sigh when she sees the time and lack of notifications. forget it, she’s not going to waste her time waiting to get into a party she didn’t even want to attend. she rolls her eyes and shakes her head, pushing herself off the wall.

“i’m going to head out now,” she says, nodding her head at jiahn to say goodbye. “i’m starving, so i’m going to find a pojangmacha to get food.” it’s after the words are out that she realizes that she might be coming off rude by potentially leaving jiahn here by herself. “you’re free to come along if you’re hungry and don’t want to wait for someone to let you in. or you could go back to your place and get some rest,” she ends her words with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"i really thought the party would be going until morning, so there's no way we're the last ones," she says, wondering if they would get lucky and have someone leave so they can get it. it feels kind of stupid, but part of her didn't even want to be at this party anyway. maybe it's like divine intervention or something for this to be happening to her right now.

she could go home and work on a new project or something.

when seolran voices her exact thoughts, jiahn just lets out a soft scoff and then sighs. "honestly, i didn't really want to come but i was coerced," she comments, looking pointedly at the door as if she could see inside and stare down her friends who also were not responding to her texts.

"yeah, i was there for a little bit," she replies to the conversation prompt, sighing a little and she guesses that once they're done discussing this she can probably leave. at least this trip out to nuri hall wasn't all for nothing if she can chat with seolran for a little bit. "i was there for dpr live but then i went back to my room and took a long nap," she admits, grinning a little sheepishly.

she's technically an ambivert but being in crowds of people isn't the most pleasant thing. she's sure everyone agrees with her. and she had been working at the anime club's booth to try to upsell and raise more funds for them too.

"did you?"

[blvebeary]

she has to hide the smile that threatens to spread across her lips when he agrees to humor her little game—she was half-expecting him to shut her down and tell her to get back to work. he’s always seemed a little too serious about his studies (which would make sense since he's in polaris). granted, she takes her coursework seriously as well, but it’s not like she actually lets people make this assumption with her actions. (it's much more fun being the silly cheerleader.)

she hums softly, expression deliberately blank, and eyes staring off into the void as though she were in deep in thought. at this rate, she probably should keep a list of random questions ready in her back pocket. while she doesn’t particularly care about learning random facts about her targets, she’s increasingly found herself in situations where she’s played variations of this game.

but perhaps that’s expected when she’s constantly snooping around for people’s secrets.

she returns her gaze after a few seconds of silence and tilts her head as she begins to speak. “okay, i’ll go easy on you... for now,” she says, half-teasing, but she is being truthful. it'd be foolish to begin with difficult or overtly personal questions. something tells her that he would clam up or get avoidant if she starts her questioning too strongly. (though, she supposes most people would feel uncomfortable and get dismissive in that scenario.)

her patience has worn thin over the past two weeks, but there's no harm in waiting a bit longer. “but this also means i expect you to go easy on me as well! at least at first." she pauses briefly to shoot him a small smile. "why’d you choose to minor in literature?" why not some other field in the humanities?”

aside from scratch of ink across paper and the occasional question from one to another, the air between seolran and sungmin is dead silent. this setup is different from his usual tutoring, where he’s a lot more involved with the other party by walking them through the material, then quizzing them on what they just covered. studying with seolran, though? they’re both fairly hands-off and only sometimes check in. he’s not even sure if she needs the help at one point, but he’s not about to question her. some people do better like this, anyway, and he’s always happy to help.

so when he hears her declare her boredom, he tilts his head slightly when he looks at her again. it’s about time for him to take a self-imposed break anyway. sticking to schedules is his personal guarantee for success, otherwise he’d go hours hunched over the material. “yeah, i’m not a huge fan of this unit, either. what’s up?”

sungmin brushes his notebook off to the side before starting to idly tap his pen on the table. they’ve simply been acquaintances until now, classmates at most, but he’s not opposed to getting to know her better. “twenty questions…” he draws out, sitting back in his chair. that’s not something he would expect from someone like seolran, honestly. “mm… okay.”

now that he’s thinking about it, there are a few things he knows about her. she’s cheer captain, she seems invested in what she’s learning, and she always looks put together. they’re somewhat alike in that sense, as far as academic interests and public images go. seolran seems to be handling everything well, taking things in stride, while he’s… trying. he’s trying his best. 

“you can go first, then. i’ve gotta think about what i want to ask.” the right idea would be to buy himself some time. keep it casual, surface level. it doesn’t feel like the right moment to be asking philosophical questions, after all.

[blvebeary]

[ ✉ ⤷ message to fruits basket (ophiuchus gc) ] 

↳ seol??? omg i'm blushing. if you really wanted to kiss me, you could've just asked me straight up. 😘 ↳ jeongmin you're a liar and a fake i don't believe you. ↳ seoyun, avery, and nara, be prepared for me tomorrow. i'll drop by and buy TWO kisses from you all. ↳ one for each cheek , of course. 😙

outgoing sms, nara > fruits basket.

( 김나라 ) > why are all of you advertising your kissing booth shift, ( 김나라 ) > then telling people that you're not going to kiss them? ( 김나라 ) > if you want an actual kiss on the cheek, come to my shift! ( 김나라 ) > men, women, whoever. pucker up, sweethearts!

[blvebeary]

draw me (like one of your korean girls) to jiyul (@harpstring)

seolran’s not particularly sentimental; she’ll keep the occasional knick-knack from rare family vacations, and she’s saved all the letters from friends and photo strips from her high school days, but for the most part, she does not have many mementos lying around her apartment. her life (and running aulait) keeps her busy enough, so she does not need the unnecessary clutter in her workspace.

that being said, perhaps seolran likes herself a little too much. the thought of being able to frame a cute little caricature of herself was too much to resist for her, so she finds herself making her way to the art booth after her shift at the cheerleading booth. from a distance, she can tell there was a long line, but it seemed to be moving quickly.

she passes the time by scrolling through her social media (liking and commenting on woodz’s “yeonchella, are you ready” post). by the time she really looks up from her phone, she's directed to the chair on the opposite end of the booth. she finds herself seated in front of a vaguely familiar face and a small art easel. she furrows her eyebrows as she sorts through her memories to see how she recognizes the figure. after a few seconds of silence, she locks her phone and slips it into her bag.

"jiyul?" she questions, her lips curving up into a small smile. "it's been awhile." she comments. "feels like i haven't seen you since my first year." and that most likely is the truth. their majors have taken them on different paths (and different parts of campus. the only factor that brought them together in the first place was the general writing course they took together. she crosses her legs and leans back to get comfortable. "okay, how should i position myself? hands on my laps? or by my side? i'm happy to move in whatever way to ensure that you're able to draw an adorable caricature of myself!"

[blvebeary]

she really wants to wipe that smile off his face; it takes almost every single ounce of her self-restraint not to try. seolran’s eye twitches as she nearly snaps at his taunts. however, she has to remind herself that one, she’s in public, and an open display of childish frustration would garner too much attention. two, she supposes there are more important issues than not having the best view at a concert. still, she can’t help but shoot him an unimpressed stare when jinyoung mentions his surgically repaired knees. shaking her head, she uncrosses her arms and runs her free hand through her hair.

her mouth parts, ready to unleash a fury of heated comments, but she quickly closes it at his offer to switch spots. her mood immediately brightens—yet it falters at his very valid mention of other tall individuals in the crowd. the corner of her lip twitches in displeasure as she leans over and stands on her tippy toes to look over his shoulder. she hums quietly to herself, mentally going through the pros and cons of each choice. however, it's when seolran looks over her shoulder when she gets her great idea. she doesn't have much experience going to music events, but she's sure shoulder rides are more common at western raves. however, if getting a shoulder ride means being able to see woodz about the crowd, she's willing to accept any potential fallout (mostly embarrassment on her end). now she only has to convince jinyoung to give her one.

there’s a high chance that he’ll outright reject her (probably use his knee as an excuse again—as if he isn’t actively playing football competitively), but she figures it doesn’t hurt to try.

“hey jinyoung” she says sweetly, once she’s facing him again. her expression has softened, and she shoots him what seems to be a genuine smile. she clasps her hands together, index fingers tapping against each other slowly. “we’re… friends now, aren’t we? and friends do each other favors, do they not?” before he can reply, she nods her head in the direction of the group standing a couple of meters behind them. “would you be a darling and give me a lift like the guy is doing for her? not know of course, just when the set begins.” she blinks up at him innocently.

"please?" she adds after a couple of seconds. (a rare occurance of her being polite.) "this way, it doesn't matter if there are people taller than you in the crowd. i'll be able to see everything if you give me a lift."

well if it was ever in doubt (note: it was not) whether im seolran was truly a 'huge fan' of his, then now there is absolutely zero doubt remaining. because evidently, this is how true fandom manifested itself in her.

quite honestly, jinyoung cannot stop himself from wearing the biggest shit-eating grin in sight, even though he fears he might be in legitimate danger. it's just that in the midst of all the 'fake' exchange of friendliness they've had while knowing each other, there was never any sign that she could express such feistiness. frankly, he feels justified in always thinking there was something mismatched between her ebullient persona and the strange gut feeling he had when he'd first ever seen her.

"no, i actually can't. i have surgically repaired knees," he replies ever so pragmatically, fake pouting before the cruel grin is back on his face. it's both not a lie (he did get knee surgery...) while also being the most shameless he's ever told her thus far (clearly he runs around, changing speeds and directions, and kicking things for a living; one might assume he could lower his height for a few minutes). "i could tell you about how good he looks in person afterwards though." yes, he knows he's putting his neck on the line. all for the sweet pleasure of running his mouth.

now while he can be unbearably childish, jinyoung is also not a complete jerk (believe it or not), so he decides to de-escalate the situation before there are headlines written in the school paper about how somebody was murdered in the woodz crowd. "in all seriousness, i would trade you my spot," he says with an actually genuine gleam in his eye this time. "but i'm afraid i'm not the only tall person here." turning his body to the side, he motions up ahead at the several other rows of lofty heads in front of them. it's not hard to tell that the view wouldn't be any less obstructed from where he's standing relative to where she is now; and it takes every last bit of willpower in him to avoid making a 'short' joke. "up to you though. what do you want to do?"