blykrose

[blykrose]

Stress

To God, who made everything:

Your son calmed the stormy sea:

There is so much pressure,

There is so much confusion,

There is so much noise.

Let your Son calm this storm so that I may sit peacefully in this boat.

You made the earth and everything on it. You made the heavens and everything in it.

I know you can handle the stress I am facing. I will keep my heart open today, so I can feel your power at work in me.

As I reach up to you today, will you reach down to meet me? I'm counting on it.

Take away the darkness and fill me with the radiant light of the sun.

I am love

I am light

I am strong

I am a fighter

I am a Queen

I'm Me

[blykrose]

I burdened myself with so much that I began to crumble from the inside, thinking that it wasn't visible to the naked eye but honestly I lied to myself.

My pain was visible for all to see....I blamed the Lord and my Ancestors for all that was happening to me. It's hard to see goodness when all I saw was rage with knives and guns blazing. I tried to remain calm in my own little way but I failed to a point where I just stopped talking to God and my Ancestors.

I than remembered that I was blessed with a beautiful and loving mini human...that i had to fight and get my will to be me again just for him.

I pray that this year brings more blessings and happiness in my life....as I reconnect with the Lord and my Ancestors...I also pray to be the best mother I possibly can be for my mini human.

I left my pains and burdens back in 2020...now I begin a new year with an open mind, heart and my mini human by my side. The love that I have for Andokuhle Skosana ❤

[blykrose]

Ba tla o lwantsha empa ba ke ke ba o hlola. Rapela o kopa tshireletso le mahlohonolo. (at Bethlehem, Free State) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9PqpA5lyBSvTAPUC5WNjlyl29r8Ym3cedZ9fY0/?igshid=hc7hnep1yg84

[blykrose]

Even through all the sadness and pain I got this #lesedi #khanya (at At Home,bethlehem) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8h_Il8lj_OUJGcLt8YPaset51eTUbBXmkcWTU0/?igshid=1ngpwito6nsyq

[blykrose]

#lesedi #khanya (at Heso...) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8g1aXiJDb0USW_qSsM4Q-Y-7GayZ3mV7SjofM0/?igshid=o5sq0086u15o

[blykrose]

#lesedi #khanya (at Heso...) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8g1QLYpTQy4ydpxO4wCoAznsA36b_wUjv8N180/?igshid=lnlf8vyu0lbl

[blykrose]

I so love this song (at Heso...) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8eSPkGJjaDMJLAkE1xbPDGNjts2T0NDZ11MkE0/?igshid=nwdt2dau1kcd

[blykrose]

#lesedi #khanya (at Heso...) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8eRaheJnBHpi36DstdN1Zys7DyEThX9dTbtYc0/?igshid=1rlxamwlxz813

[blykrose]

The story behind the reading of the bones is really amazing. The answers and directions you get, pave a way for you. #lesedi #khanya #thokozani (at Ithoballe Estate) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7YahWdpLQj_w7vrBI3ltmQXLYdKZyJS11q7uo0/?igshid=wptc16elqiog

[blykrose]

Meaningful Conversation with you dearest friend

As I sit and ponder about my path, I realise that there's alot to learn.

We are taught patience in a manner that looks slave like.

We are treated differently....this really tests patience.

We are pushed to do things that we don't want to do.

Threats made for you are a child of the soil, the voice of your ancestors....the messenger of the dearly departed.

Where do my emotions fit in?

Where does my authority come to take place?

In my own secret space, I come to you as my shelter for protection.

Be with me on my journey.

The ancestors see and know everything happening around me, they know what's bothering me.

Why don't they help?

But ke tla reng!

[blykrose]

Day was breaking over the ancient Motouleng cave, located in the Free State. Granting its golden shine on the time-worn stone. Motouleng also known as "Mahaheng" is a spiritual place, used by church goers and sangoma's.

We walked quietly, along its narrow path just to be inside the mesmerizing dwellings. Birds flew over us as the beating of the drums began to sound. Below – the narrow path leading down to the river – figures began to move: bathing, stretching, lost in prayer. No need to be Christian. Nor Catholic, Apostolic or Hindu. Once you're chosen you're chosen.

The serene scene, with its drums, birds, whistles and offerings. The open cave welcomed a warm sunset glow which got under the skin. There was a sense of a place greater than the sum of its colourful, crumbling parts. The centuries of worship practised at this, most sacred cave, seemed scored into the slabs, resounding down the paths, soaked into the river itself and mountains tops.

But spiritual places can do that. They have the power to seep in somehow, regardless of the faith or feeling you might bring to them. Indeed, “spiritual” means different things to different people. For some, it’s joining the African faith of our forefathers at the cave to pray and bathe. Gaining comfort from the presence of thousands of likeminded souls.

For others it’s the opposite; it’s escaping the crowds somewhere such as negative energy and where pain resides. Mythology is rooted not in manmade churches or shrines but in the caves and the trees, and Mother Nature herself is the miracle.

You might find your own salvation or contentedness at either extreme. Despite the current rise of “wellness” holidays offering mindfulness and meditation, the greatest balm may be found in simply sitting amid the cave and the waterfall which is located ontop of the mountain. Being hypnotised by the voices of your ancestors.

Religious travel is certainly enriching for many. To seek out others who share your beliefs, in a location central to your faith, can be a once-in-a-lifetime high. But even if you have no faith at all, there is something affecting, even soothing, about experiencing the faith of others.

It’s essential to remain respectful when visiting spiritual places – you may need to cover your head, make an offering, leave no trace. But, assuming you obey any rules, watching devotees interact with their sacred tombs, waterfalls or rivera can not only give you a greater insight into other cultures, it may just make you question your own.

No matter where you travel, you’ll discover that humans have long constructed their own ways of interpreting this marvellous world of ours – whether it’s the Ancient Greeks locating their gods atop Mount Olympus, the Maori developing a mythology to fit New Zealand’s fizz-banging terrain or the Easter Islanders moving massive rocks to safeguard their far-flung Pacific outcrop.

[blykrose]

your parents trauma does not belong to you. it is not part of your inheritance. you don’t have to prolong trauma because it’s what’s familiar to those that came before you. you are not defined by the cycles you are stuck in or other peoples pain you have absorbed. free yourself.

Billy Chapata

[blykrose]

our love was good, but it also felt sad. you were my drink of choice, but you tasted like poison. when i released myself from you i felt like i released myself from an illusion that i held on to for too long.

Billy Chapata

[blykrose]

you’ve dissected yourself in the mirror too many times for lovers that see you as nothing more than food for their ego, and eventually, i hope you find love that takes the weapons out of your hands and reassures you that you don’t have to go to war with yourself for anyone.

Billy Chapata

[blykrose]

i stopped trying to save you, when i realized that you deserved to save yourself to show yourself how powerful you truly are.

Billy Chapata

[blykrose]

Exploring forgiveness

Life is full of mysterious things and a whole lot of people that want to see your downfall. In some cases, we've always been victims of shameful and harmful words, we've been victims of verbal abuse from so called family members.

My freedom is at stake no matter if it costs my own happiness. I've turned sour. The rust between my pains and aches, seem to break all my alignments, just because they lied about me and there's nothing I can do about it.

Families are no longer able to hold together, they've lost the meaning of communication. I grew up full of anger and hatred just because of her. But I never gave her the chance to see how much what she did hurt me. She always seemed to confess up to things that I never asked her about.

I learned to accept her because of "them". Yet again, she got her way of making my life difficult. I was on the verge of giving up, then I heard a voice that said forgive all those who've wronged you for I your Lord, will punish the ones that wrongfully accused you.

It was hard. The crying myself to sleep every day wishing that they were near me "them", helping me and telling me that all shall be well. Through all the months of been blue, I can say that I've stopped crying over what was said.

I forgive her.

I forgive her.

Lord, please take control of the situation it's now in your hands. I've let go of the inheritance of loneliness, rage, guilt and fear.

My life is back and I don't care who lies about me again, cause I've forgiven her.

[blykrose]

it burnt long ago. let the ashes from past connections serve as a reminder of what you should continue to breathe life into. rekindling it won’t make it burn the same way, or make it burn stronger than it did before. don’t burn yourself trying to reignite old flames.

Billy Chapata