bmberger - Tumblr blog

[bmberger]

jewish culture is putting your brother's kippah on your pupper and watching her get confused and look at you like "momma why is there a thing on my head"

you can't just say that and not show us the pupper....

[bmberger]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING 3 YRS FOR THIS ALBUM TO DROP.

[bmberger]

Kind of crazy how we just had Jews getting beaten, bloodied and maced outside their own synagogue and nobody is saying anything about it but Jews. This is happening at the places we are supposed to feel most safe to be ourselves.

[bmberger]

The Shabbat bride appears to be a lesbian

[bmberger]

Jewish culture is instinctively kissing a book that you dropped

.

[bmberger]

i made these for my server but thought i'd share it here too. free to use and i also accept requests!

[bmberger]

ICONIC. LIFECHANGING. INSPIRING.

[bmberger]

avi rates jewish foods

difficulty scale

how i'm determining difficulty:

how much active time? (slicing, breading, frying - not waiting for water to boil or waiting for baking process etc.) 0 - less than 15 minutes 1 - more than 15 minutes 2 - more than 30 minutes

how easily can you get the ingredients? (i'm working under the assumption that you have access to a grocery store. i'm in the us so that's my frame of reference but ymmv)

0 - you probably already have all the ingredients 1 - you might have to go to the store to get a few things, or you'll need fresh produce 2 - you'll definitely have to go to the store to get some stuff 3 - you'll have to find a specialty store or order online

what kind of cookware do you need? (i'm considering "the basics" to be: a pot and pan, spoon

0 - just the basics 1 - would be easier with one or two specialty utensils but you can still make it without 2 - probably need one or two specialty utensils to make it correctly 3 - you definitely need specialty utensils to make it correctly

what kind of kitchen skills do you need?

0 - can you boil water? can you chop a vegetable? you can make this 1 - would be helpful to know some basics (knife skills, sauteing, etc.) 2 - you need to know some intermediate skills (frying, basic bread making, etc) 3 - you need to know or learn some fairly advanced techniques (higher level bread making, special techniques that apply to the recipe, etc.)

personal rating

1 - did not like, could not finish it 2 - it was ok, but i wouldn't eat it again 3 - good, i wouldn't go out of my way to make it again, but i would happily eat it if someone served it to me 4 - really good, i would make this again 5 - excellent, i am adding this to my regular rotation

[bmberger]

I'm sending everyone who sees this some mad gender euphoria. It should arrive within 3-5 business days. If there is an issue with the status of your gender euphoria... uhmmm yeah I'm sorry idk how to fix that but I send hugs and well wishes

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[bmberger]

Question, what’s the difference between goy, goyim, and goyische (yes this is a genuine question)

goy = gentile (singular noun) "his boyfriend is a goy"

goyim = gentiles (plural noun) "the goyim are being weird in my notes again"

goyische = gentile-esque(???) (adjective) "that's a very goyische mindset"

i hope this is helpful!

[bmberger]

Jewish culture is wearing a kippah to Pride!

.

[bmberger]

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!

Thank you! My fiancé is getting annoyed that I keep yelling "Spanakopita" every time I see it on the menu. I also got them to yell at me tonight because I saw an item on a caterer's menu that was called "Steamship Beef", which is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

That's totally a Bear Daddy on a steamboat.

[bmberger]

I feel a little insulted, I wasn’t on the Zionist blocklist.

I wasn’t on the last one either.

[bmberger]

*reads through the zionist blocklist like a teenage girl reading her high school play cast list to see if she made it*

my mascara smearing with tears when I realise I’m not on the list 😭

[bmberger]

hey jumblr. I wanna talk about something that's been bothering me.

when people say that Jews are white can we please stop refuting them by saying "nuh uh! mizrahim and sephardim and beta Israel etc!" I've seen this in a ton of posts lately.

you're tacitly implying ashki Jews are white. I can't speak for all ashki Jews but fucking hell that feels shitty. white people have been our oppressors for centuries. the Shoah was perpetrated by white people, against us, because the white Nazis believed we (ALL Jews, not just the dark-skinned ones) were a blight on their perfect inbred whiteness.

I promise you that despite my pale ashki skin I have never once been welcomed by actual white people into white spaces. they do not let me forget that I'm not one of them. white people are the ones leading the KKK and the neo-Nazis and chanting "Jews will not replace us"

to imply ashki Jews are white as a defense against the anti-semites feels like being thrown under the bus when people are hating on Jews by calling us white. it feels like being spat on after the centuries we were forced to live in diaspora in european countries under the constant threat of yet another ridiculous european war or zealously christian dictator.

my pale skin does not mean I'm less subject to Jew-hate. it does not mean my ancestors didn't suffer as much as yours. my pale skin does not make me less of a Jew.

and even if you disagree on all these points, can you at least have the decency to ask an Ashkenazi Jew if they're okay with being labeled as white before doing it?

please don't punch the person standing beside you in the Tribe when trying to defend it

[bmberger]

I made this banner , because I'm proud

I also have this one and I can make other colours if you're interested

[bmberger]

people often cite concerns about aid donations to gaza somehow benefiting hamas. this is why i always recommend donating to anera.

anera addresses this concern on their FAQ page.

how i understand it - anera procures aid and then organizes and distributes it. i mean, if you're concerned about aid distribution in gaza, this is exactly who you should be donating to.

they keep a daily log of all of their activities.

they post videos of their activities

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Anera (@aneraorg)

and they are vetted by charity navigator, charity watch, better business bureau, and candid.

I highly recommend checking their gaza faq

and their donation page for gaza.

ceasefire and hostage deal now