bobbiestakes

[bobbiestakes]

I wrote this some years ago on my birthday, the age my Mom was when she died.

NOTE TO SELF

Well, Mom, I made it, the age you were 19 years ago; the year you died. All these years, after your passing, I have been so scared and nearly petrified of seeing this age.  I thought of my great-grandmother's death at 67 years old and my grandmother at 64 and then you, Mom, at 64-- scared me into thinking what about me or my sisters and brothers? The women in my family seem to go fairly young. And with the age of 34 when Mom passed, started me thinking of the years to come. Thinking of the future scared me to death and I stopped living and to only exist. Existing at the moment. I began not caring or wanting very much anymore, which brought more depression that I almost shut down. My days became my nights and my nights my days-- no sleep--too afraid to sleep.  Thinking of death and how death was lurking, waiting for my turn. My thoughts of death began to consume me and I started thinking of ways, silly I know, how to cheat death.  Really? No one, not one single thing can EVER cheat that creepy little guy with the sickle, but I sure was hoping and praying. After all, DEATH had cheated my mother, and how I hated him but, feared him as well. Fear was it in a nutshell. Dying was a loss to me, my family, and to my mother's memory. Today, my 54th birthday, I have thought about her a lot. The tears I have shed thinking about her today, thinking of her short life and her death and how it seems unfair. What would Mom be like, now? How much I miss her smile and her quirky little laugh, but most of all I miss her and the person she might have been. All the years of me fighting death did nothing for me. It only stopped me from living the life that my mother sought for me and being the best person I could be on this earth. No, my life isn't over, at least I hope that it isn't but I cheated myself, and that I can't get back.  Even though, I knew you couldn't cheat death, thinking about trying or finding out how was good enough. But, Death comes to all of us in one form or another and I had to stop fearing Death and learn to embrace Life. So, I say to myself especially today, "Get off your butt, and no time better than the present." "Give yourself permission to enjoy what life can give and this is the best present you can give yourself and to Mom's memory." So, here goes.   HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOBBIE SUE---- She's 54.  ENJOY!!! 

[bobbiestakes]

WHERE ARE REAL BLUE JEANS?

I have searched and searched but cannot find any real jeans... Where are they?   Gone way of the dodo bird, I am guessing.  Everything these days are made with that stretchy material that calls themselves jeans, to me, NOPE. They call them many things as Skinny Jeans which by the way, where did they get skinny-- these aren't making skinny anything but a wallet. Have you seen the price tags of some of these so-called jeans these days with holes already in them? Outrageous.   Then you have the booty jeans-- what in the heck do they put in them? Seems like some of them make that booty go up and say hello to the back. I don't know about you, but I don't think the booty should be talking to the small of the back.  And then we have to keep your tummy flattened jeans.  mm huh, glorified built-in girdle if you ask me and by the time you get them zipped/buttoned you fill as if you are wearing one  (girdle) in those stretchy pants. And what about those skinny things cropping off at the ankles?  You might as well wrap yourself up in a full-length girdle and take scissors to the ankles, you probably would get a better fit.  Don't get me started on the different sizes, a nightmare.   I don't like these pants/jeans whatever you call them. You best have the strength of Sampson to pull these dang things up most days and by the end of the day, you've got droopy drawers if you are one not to wear a belt.. That's another thing, why call them skinny-fitting jeans when they are anything but.. By the end of the day, they are riding up where they ought not to and pulling down where they shouldn't. I don't know about you but I have worked long and hard to keep my butt from meeting the back of my knees and I plan on keeping it that way without the help of these "skinny stretch things".  Whoever came up with these, I have to wonder. Where are my "REAL" no-stretch, no booty, no belly-flattened jeans?  I want my old good-fitting Levi, Lee jeans back. I can't find these old jeans anywhere. I love putting on these old jeans and feeling like a real lady/woman not a pushed up pulled-in facsimile of what I am or should be.  Are you with me ladies? Rise and make a stand for the good old-fashioned blue jeans.  No thank you to these "skinny" jeans, give me my old Levi's any day.  Just a thought,  Thanks, 

[bobbiestakes]

FRIENDS LIKE THIS?

FRIENDS LIKE THIS, WE ALL HAVE HAD ONE OR TWO I know most of you have or have had a friend that thought you should follow them anywhere. Just because we are friends you should.....  take your pick of you should.  They open their mouths  and your name comes out for whatever the reason that friend wants or has to say, right?  And you are standing there with that dumb look on your face and wondering how you were going to get out of this one or how did I get into this or why. Yes, one of those friends, I have had my share, especially after I graduated from high school. Let me tell you, high school was a dream compared to the outside world. All sorts of folks out there.  I had this particular friend back home in Mississippi. We had met at work and hit it off. We started hanging out together and she, especially when drinking, had a big mouth. One of those open mouth and insert foot. This  night, she had a row with a guy and off we flew with her screaming and screeching and me telling her keep your eyes on the road or pull over.  Well, we had come up on a car with other girls that looked like they were, not the type of girls we hung out with, nicely. They had their music up as loudly as we did and my friend had to either do a finger gesture of she opened that big mouth and pursuit began.  They chased us up and down Green Street off Green Street and into town and back and all the while she is hollering and honking. Now, by this time, why? She's yelling and I am yelling, getting no where fast when all of a sudden my friend takes a sharp turn into a parking space of one of our friends apartment building. I guess her thinking was if she turned quick enough they would not see us. Well, how that work out for us?  They were right on our tail, screeched into the space next to us and my friend couldn't or didn't get her door shut fast enough, the driver of the car ran over pulled her out and a few blows were thrown. Me and the others were still inside the cars telling them to stop and let it be. My friend and this girl were just yelling at what? Nothing, because my friend didn't know what she had done to cause this and the other girl was mistaking her for someone else. Me and another girl from the other car, finally,  got them to stop yelling and go to their perspective cars and go our own ways.  Well to make a long story short. My friend gets mad at me for not going out and helping her. What on earth for when you had it covered and she wasn't mad at me, I didn't do anything. Your mouth again and your welcome.  See, one of the other girls and myself, remedied the situation to which those two were yelling and screaming and running around trying to keep the other from doing too much damage, it was funny, actually.  She goes into this rant of what friends are suppose to do for the other and if she asked me to jump off the bridge I should.  Nope. See to be friend's with Kimberly was a chore within itself, she was rich, entitled and her parents couldn't keep much track of her and she did as she pleased until the fun wore off.  What to do with one of these type friends if you survived? Well, as I saw it there was more good in there than mischief and when she wasn't partying hard, she was actually a decent sort. So, we worked it out and stayed friends for a while until she moved.  We have to wonder with friends like this if it's worth it or not. It's up to the individual to weigh and do a check list, but for me, she was worth it for time, long ago.  

Just a thought. Thanks, 

[bobbiestakes]

AT THE MOVIES

OLD MOVIES

Watching a very old movie from 1944, The Uninvited, A ghost story of sorts with a beautiful story to tell. Even though I have seen this movie before, I had forgotten the story.  One has to look closely into the character(s) with each a role in that story and as the plot comes together, we can see how important each role was in getting to the end.  This particular ghost story told being set up by each role was beautifully written and I sat at every word- at times- I laughed, and other times, I sat on the edge of my seat wondering what is coming next and toward the ending my anticipation of a fright turned into a smile. All emotions in one old movie.

They say they don't make movies like they used to and of course, we know times and people are ever-changing. Movies of old did not have much in the way of animations or CGIs, only those playing a part with words and actions. Most movies, today, I feel and I could be the minority of ONE, don't get to act as they did long ago. Too many actions or things added that take away from the character. Today, we have movies that show more things that have to be made on a computer rather than in the words of a character. Don't get me wrong, I love movies, NOT into Zombies. I grew up watching them and make believing as most young ones do of being that "moment". Maybe, I am just a bit sentimental and to be honest, I do not "cotton" to change very much. It's needed for us humans but I go reluctantly and being dragged until tolerance sets in. And before anyone lights up of age, I am NOT old, only old-fashioned values. Things change for the better and we are always seeking the next best. But, this day and time, we seem to always be in a hurry. Never able to sit and just enjoy the moment.  In watching this wonderful golden oldie, the announcer reminded me of why I love these types of movies. He stated that the studios wanted to person(s) to imagine or use the imagination rather than see the events play out on screen. The imagination can bring more intensity, excitement, passion, fright, sadness, and tears than actually seeing it on the screen. We have today, in-your-face moments where everything is shown-decent or indecent.  I say this maybe because I am on the downslope and trying my best to put on the brakes; I find my values different from what they were when I was very young. I am no prude nor never profess to be innocent. Each time I watch an old movie such as this one, my imagination gives me an appreciation of the arts and the story being told.

[bobbiestakes]

A TRIBUTE

How can I start this? I suppose, by saying goodbye to our loving Aunt, our mother's only sibling. It's hard saying goodbye to those we love. No more picking up the phone to check in or going to visit.

We, humans, are a funny bunch, we take things for granted. We never think about tomorrow but the right here and now; until tomorrow comes and when it does all we wish is for one more day. We take the simple things in life and make them complicated but why?

I sit here at the Funeral Home looking in on her, lying in her casket. Doesn't she look nice, today? I think of all the times with Aunt Jane, the laughter, the tears and yes, some anger but always with a great deal of love. She had that laughter that when you heard it you knew, Aunt Jane was having a good time. Soo, many memories of a lifetime to sift through. One particular memory of a holiday at our grandmother's house, mother's and Aunt Jane's mother, I believe it was a Thanksgiving Day. Mother and Aunt Jane would start picking on each other and then you would hear granny(she would kill me if she heard me say granny) would intervene with, "now girls". It would go on and on about who was the favorite or who had to do more chores or which one got away with more shenanigans.

The one thing that you didn't do is ask them about their names; it would be on, their voices at a high octave that sounded almost like a laughing squeal at who had the worst name. So funny listening to both of them going at their mother on how they got the names they did.Eddie Sue or Roger Jane? Aunt Jane would politely tap mother on the arm while granny was in the kitchen seeing to the cooking and would say in a laughing loud voice, " I think momma just wanted a boy and got stuck with two measly girls and decided to give us dang boy names." Mother would chime in and then the school girl giggling would start. Granny would hold up her spoon from stirring the potatoes and would tell them how mother came by her name, "that damn nurse", she would say, now, "Roger Jane, I swear I have no clue", " I was out of it and all I remember was a song on the radio and I remember saying Roger and the next thing I know you are Roger Jane".  She tried saving herself but with mom and Aunt Jane laughing and goading she had no chance that day.  It would end with granny stating she needed some help in the kitchen mother would say "go help Roger", then Aunt Jane would chime in with "what about you Eddie?"

Those were great times seeing them having fun and laughing. I wonder if they did that growing up? Interesting that I do not know that answer. All we have are the memories of each of our families getting together with their mother and celebrating family.

As I sit and say goodbye to Roger Jane Ellis Brooks Floyd with tears filling my eyes, I also found a smile to now know that she is embracing her sister and her mother right at this moment. Mother loved her little sister as her little sister loved her. I can see mother running up to the little sister she had to leave so long ago and with the biggest hug and smiles. They had very pretty smiles. Now, all three are together again along with the grandmother that looked after them when granny had to work to provide for her girls. As much as the tears flow here on Earth, Heaven is whole with those four amazing women.

I lift my head to the skies and I can almost see the four of them looking down at us right now. NO MORE TEARS IN HEAVEN.

[bobbiestakes]

What Happened?

The World today, they say

The World today, they say.  Those among us keep stating how topsy-turvy and bizarro world we have today. Everyone is at each other's throats. No one can have a different point of view or a voice, even. What used to be simple as black and white is now grey. Nothing makes sense anymore. But everyone says what has come of this world today? The World, this World, our World has been around, considering your thought processes, whether by the creator (God) or by chance of colliding systems. It doesn't do anything but revolves on its axis. It doesn't give us or tell us who to like or not or should we eat meat or not or which religion we should be or Not. It only exists as a place we mere humans take for granted. It's an amazing place that provides sunshine, darkness, heat, cooling, water,  and growth for billions. This planet gives us everything we need to survive and make the best out of this thing called "Living".  This World today doesn't care what we do as long as we give back to what it provides us. It's the people that have gone stark raving mad. It's the people that have turned a world upside down. We have lost what marbles our Creator gave us.  What happened to help the fellow man? Making sure the elderly are seen or helping them cross the street? Protecting a child or an adult from being bullied? What happened to having a simple and constructed conversation? What happened to opening your ears and closing your mouth? What happened to Respecting our fellow man? There are many more but you get the gest.  We have stopped listening and respecting and caring for anyone, let alone ourselves. It's time to get back from INSANE to SANE or as normal as one can be and stop this nonsense.  See, our world today is as much as it was in days before we mere humans, (probably more peaceful) We have made this planet more accessible to our NOW needs and as humans, we keep progressing. We use our God-given talents. This world is as good as one sees it, the beauty, the power, the safety, the conservation, the means, and to those that say we are destroying it... No, we will destroy ourselves long before this, OUR World, goes anywhere.  Thanks----  

[bobbiestakes]

Living in a Digital World

Is Anything Hands-On Anymore?

After seeing one of my old colleagues, this weekend, she told me she is retiring after a long and successful career. Congratulations that a great milestone, but she says it's time. Things are done differently these days and it's not the same. Everything is done online now, I stated. Nothing is hands-on anymore. 

Where is the time where you sent in a resume, got a phone call to come in and sit down with the person? Most of the time, you got a phone call whether you got the position or not--- NOT today, send online and they could give a hoot whether they get back to you or not.  To me, that is rude and very unprofessional. Yeah, one can say they have too many responses online, but in my opinion, if you put it online that gives way for someone, anyone to wade through and respond. It's just a kind gesture for those waiting. 

Going to the doctor now is online, you have to sit while they, nurses or doctors, peck on the keyboard to enter your information. Where is the write it down and pay attention to who is in front of you? I mean, come on! I know that times have evolved and are ever-changing, but when the heck does it say, leave the personal touch behind? 

I miss those times when one could sit down, look the other person or persons in the eye and have a conversation and have them listen to you and write down what needs to be and then put it digitally.  I am NOT Digital, hear my heartbeat, watch my mouth, she blinks, winks and speaks, listen to me. Those that use the pecking, which we all do these days, can put the wrong information down which can cause not to get a loan, or have the wrong diagnosis, the wrong medication, even if they pull up the wrong date of birth or name, can cause a murid of problems. 

The ones coming up in this day and time, have no idea what it's like to just sit and keep off the pecking and talk and learn and help someone other than themselves. They are growing up in a world where it is all digitally in front of us, work, play, home. It's great to be out there working and being able to be in front of someone, not in front of a screen. 

At one point, this all may end and where are these growing up going to land? They will not know how to hands-on anything.  Will, they even know how to turn on a tv without a remote or turn on the lights without a voice-activated instrument? Just things, I think about from time to time when I hear yet another industry going digitally rather than person-to-person.  

I know it's only going to progress but something to think about when a computer breaks down or a copier breaks down- would you know how to type of a typewriter? If the whole system went down in a store would you know how to use the old slide for credit cards? If the graphics went out would you know how to draw it freehand? Many things to think about in this ever-progressing digital world. 

Thanks, 

Bobbie

[bobbiestakes]

MASSAGE THERAPY IS NOT A SEXUAL WORKER

A few days ago, my group received a post of an interview from Inside Edition stating a Massuer had his license revoked.

I have a few words to say about this report, I am furious on a multitude of levels but calling a therapist a masseuse or masseur is now considered a dirty word and calls this profession sex trafficking and prostitution or some nefarious goings-on behind closed doors.

I call a big-fat, and ladies and gents, forgive my boldness here, call it fat bullshit.

For one, they must not know enough about this profession to make that judgment. Massage has been around for over 5000 years. It has always been a noble profession. Those of us that have gone to school and learned the craft and finished with our certifications and then went on to become licensed Therapists, are medical professionals and are staunch defenders of this sister/brotherhood. We are not and it bears repeating NOT SEX WORKERS. PERIOD!!!! Get it - got it- Good.

These reporters and teh general public have no idea the work we put into and have to learn about the body. Well, let me enlighten you.

650 hours from a school.

At least 100 hours of Anatomy and Physiology with a breakdown of hours in :

Myology: 35 hours

Osteology: 15 hours

Circulatory system: 10 hours

Nervous system: 10 hours

Pathology at least 40 hours.

The massage therapy study is to comprise 250 hours. Included in this content area is a minimum of 50 hours of supervised practice. Contradistinctions, contraindications, and related touch modalities are to receive coverage.

An additional 50 hours should cover miscellaneous Board requirements. Among them are a business, professional ethics, CPR, first aid, and hydrotherapy.

Electives can account for 210 of the required hours.

And after passing, you take about a 3-hour Board test.

Note: Some states require more than 650 hours of schooling.

Listen up- there is a reason you do an intake form before you get a massage. All those questions about your health and the medicines you take. It's my/our job to know as some medications are contra-indicated and with a massage. If you have taken pain meds, and heart meds, have you had recent surgeries, or any rashes/skin irritations, are you being treated now or in the recent past for cancer. All of these are not sexual questions, these are needs to know for your health.

Relaxing massage such as the Swedish technique can lower your blood pressure. All the techniques we learn and perform on the body have a purpose, depending on the person's needs. If there is a lot of build-up of lactic acid in the muscles, deep tissue is usually needed. (For those of you that do not know- that is called a knot).

We work hard and it breaks us (physically) down more than you know. Our profession is about 10 to 15 years, if we are lucky. So, to suggest that anyone you see wants to lock you behind a door and grope you and try you on for sex, it is ridiculous for one and for another those that do - either do not have a license from that state to be a real therapist or they come in with a license under a name that should be looked into. it is the public's responsibility to know who you are going to.

If the therapist does not ask and tell you what is going to happen if this is your first visit. then you need to start questioning. However, if you feel comfortable, I will step out of the room for a moment, you undress and underNEATH the covers, please. You can leave undies on or off, again however you feel comfortable. Tell them how you start a massage and this is how you do it and if there is anything you need to ask or have me stop as in -We stop and ask the pressure level- if it is too hard or we need to go deeper. We ask certain questions of working on legs, stip buttocks if we feel it can help ease lower back pain(this is another subject to tackle) We always ask the clients/ patient for their comfort level and keep them draped within the boundaries of the rules and regulations or our state. This is not any level of sexual impropriety folks.

And for those in the peanut gallery that wants to make a big deal and report a therapist, for a specific touch or your feelings, take notice. There is also a taboo subject called arousal during a session. YEP, I said it, so sit down and learn something. IT IS HUMAN NATURE for some to experience arousal., men and women. We are trained to ignore it. It happens. Again, it's nothing sexual.

This profession has been attacked, demeaned, and put under scrutiny for far too long. It is time it ended. There is a need for a Massage Therapist, as we are medical professionals whether it's just relaxation from a stressful day/week or to move out the lactic acid causing our muscles to tighten and causing more issues. I am tired of hearing WE are the cause of this and that and the public needs protection against us- BULLPUCKEY. Where is our protection? We are subject to the whims of anyone behind those closed doors.

Sorry, for the rant